I Read A Court Of Silver Flames Because I Guess I Just Hate Myself Now

I Read A Court of Silver Flames Because I Guess I Just Hate Myself Now

Here’s a fun fact about me: I work in a hospital emergency department. Some shifts, I hit a point where we’re short-staffed, there are sixty people in triage, ambulances are calling in every 2.5 minutes, everybody has COVID and/or bedbugs, and I’m running on adrenaline, half a protein bar, and a metric fuckton of cold black coffee. I realize it’s not going to get better, so I embrace it. I lean into the shitshow, and it’s almost like ascending to a higher state of consciousness.

It’s a point where, someone could literally take a shit on my shoes while naked and screaming obscenities (this has happened), and I’m just like, IS THAT ALL YOU GOT? BRING IT ON! When I hit that point, I am fucking invincible.

That’s where I’m at with SJM books, and… ACOSF almost broke me anyway.

I might be done after this one. Either way, I’m going to have to take a long, hard look at every life choice that brought me to the last two days I spent reading this book.

Hold on tight, everyone, because this book is a dumpster fire of such epic proportions, I wouldn’t use its pages to wipe my ass. This is a very long recap, and I had to cut a LOT just so it wouldn’t be a novel by itself. CW for a truly astonishing amount of slut-shaming, piss-poor treatment of mental health and addiction issues, and multiple graphically detailed sexual assaults.

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More Posts from Meandmy2braincells and Others

3 years ago
@tfotadaily Tournament One: Favorite Character
@tfotadaily Tournament One: Favorite Character
@tfotadaily Tournament One: Favorite Character
@tfotadaily Tournament One: Favorite Character
@tfotadaily Tournament One: Favorite Character
@tfotadaily Tournament One: Favorite Character

@tfotadaily tournament one: favorite character

“Nicasia’s wrong about me. I don’t desire to do as well in the tournament as one of the fey. I want to win. I do not yearn to be their equal. In my heart, I yearn to best them.” - jude duarte


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4 years ago

IMPORTANT

So I've been seeing a lot of 'draosexual' and 'dracotok' stuff going around. There are many people who still don't know about this, therefore, I decided to write my opinion and help people understand what this is and why this is wrong.

What is 'dracosexual'?

It is a term used for people who love Draco Malfoy. Basically, some Draco stans made a new 'sexuality' flag and are calling themselves 'dracosexual' now.

This whole shit going around is a disgrace to the lgbtq+ community and such things should neither be encouraged nor tolerated. People say they support the lgbtq+ community and then go and do shit like this, thinking it's okay for them to create a new sexuality for a fucking fictional character. That person doesn't even exist in reality and people are going out of their way to sexualize him. That is just downright pathetic.

What is 'dracotok'?

This is just as stupid a thing as what you read above. A hashtag (#dracosexual) has been very trending for a while on tiktok and there people of a wide range of age group who have been making videos under this tag. There are videos with different povs, edits, reactions, duets labelled with this tag and people are calling themself a so-called 'dracosexual'. People are making fucking thirst videos about this character. Kids are making such videos.

And what is most shocking and disgusting thing is that the actor who played the role of Draco Malfoy has been supporting this bullshit. That man is 'flattered' by all the 'attention' and 'love' his character is getting from the audience. He has even posted comments under a few tiktoks further encouraging his fans to continue this toxic behaviour.

Following are the words of Tom Felton about the dracotok hashtag:

"It's sort of taken a life of its own now," Felton told ET’s Ash Crossan about DracoTok, which sees fans elaborately insert themselves into Harry Potter scenes opposite Malfoy on TikTok. "But I'm having so much fun with it because if you go to the hashtag DracoTok you see all of these collaborative videos. We're no longer retweeting or commenting, they're actually taking things that I've done and putting their own spin on it. And then I can see that and put a spin on their stuff. It's turning into a whole monster of its own. But I'm really, really enjoying it. So yeah, I'm going to keep the DracoTokers happy for as long as I can."

This asshole thinks it is "so much fun" to make such pathetic videos and he is very happily contributing into this. "Turning into a whole monster of its own", well yes bitch, a huge fucking disgusting monster. I find this whole thing utterly ridiculous and feel really ashamed. A grown ass man like him, who should be putting a stop to this crap, is out there supporting people.

I know there are a lot of people who stan Draco and there are chances people might get offended with this as well, but in my opinion, Draco is a toxic character and we need to stop obsessing over him. People literally simp over his good looks which overshadows his terrible behaviour. He called people a racial slur and had an overall negative personality in the books. Canon Draco, according to me, is toxic and shouldn't be simped over so much.

But the issue is, people have been writing tons of fanfictions about him, and in those fanfics Draco's personality is described to be opposite of what it actually is. And most of the people don't differentiate between the canon version and fanfiction version made by the fans.

Many people don't see a problem with this, but you can't adore someone with toxic traits because it leads people into believing that it is okay to have such kind of things in real life.

This whole "girl falling in love with the bad boy" bullcrap is good as long as it stays in the pages of a book, but in real life, such toxicity should not be tolerated. There are kids who are exposed to such things and they believe it's alright to have a toxic relationship with someone.

We have all read stories about this cliched idea: the protagonists of the story are a bad boy and a good girl. The boy has had a terrible childhood or something tragic happened which turned him into a bad boy. He does terrible things, but as soon as he meets the good girl, he falls in love, tries to change for her and BAM! Happy fucking ending.

But no, that's not what happens in reality. You can't change someone just like that. And if you think it is okay for someone to treat you like shit because they 'love you' then I'm sorry but you need to talk to someone mature and get your thoughts straight.

In conclusion, what I'm trying to actually say is that you need to stop letting things like this slide. I know Harry Potter has been a huge part of a lot of people's lives, but you can't ignore the wrong sides of it. You need to open your minds and actually think what is right and what should be given space in this fandom.

I have not been a potterhead for a long time, but I've heard people saying that this fandom used to be a very good place for people. But with progression of time, there have been a lot of toxic incidents which have just ruined all the fun. So it is a very humble request to all of you that please do not encourage such things. It is not okay to sexualize a character or make sexuality labels like this.

WAKE THE FUCK UP.

Sexuality is not a joke and you cannot use it as a means of your entertainment or shit. There are loads of people out there who are afraid of opening up about themselves out of fear because not everyone accepts them. So just STOP.


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4 years ago

Writing Tip June 4th

A list of body language phrases.

I’ve included a very comprehensive list, organized by the type of body movement, hand and arm movements, facial expressions etc. In some cases, a phrase fits more than one heading, so it may appear twice. Possible emotions are given after each BL phrase unless the emotion is indicated within the phrase. (They are underlined for emphasis, not due to a hyperlink.)

Note: I’ve included a few body postures and body conditions as they are non-verbal testimony to the character’s physical condition.

Have fun and generate your own ideas.:-)

Eyes, Brows and Forehead

arched a sly brow:  sly, haughty

blinked owlishly:  just waking, focusing, needs glasses

brows bumped together in a scowl:  worried, disapproving, irritated

brows knitted in a frown: worried, disapproval, thoughtful

bug-eyed:  surprised, fear, horror

cocky wink and confident smile:  over confidence, arrogant, good humor, sexy humor

eyes burned with hatred: besides hatred this might suggest maniacal feelings

eyes flashed: fury, defiance, lust, promise, seduction

eyes rolled skyward: disbelief, distrust, humor

forehead puckered:  thoughtful, worried, irritation

frustration crinkled her eyes

gaze dipped to her décolletage: sexual interest, attraction, lust

gimlet-eyed/narrowed eyes: irritation, thoughtful, mean, angry

gleam of deviltry:  humor, conniving, cunning

kept eye contact but her gaze became glazed: pretending interest where there is none/bordom

narrowed to crinkled slits:  angry, distrust

nystagmic eyes missed nothing (constantly shifting eyes):  Shifty

pupils dilated:  interested, attraction to opposite sex, fear

raked her with freezing contempt

slammed his eyes shut:  stunned, furious, pain

squinted in a furtive manner:  fearful, sneaky

stared with cow eyes:  surprised, disbelief, hopeful, lovestruck

subtle wink:  sexy, humor/sharing a joke, sarcasm

unrelenting stare: distrust, demanding, high interest, unyielding

Place To Place, Stationary Or Posture

ambled away:  relaxed, lazy

barged ahead:  rude, hurried

battled his way through the melee:  desperate, anger, alarm

cruised into the diner:  easy-going, feeling dapper, confident

dawdled alongside the road:  lazy, deliberate delay for motives, unhurried, relaxed

dragged his blanket in the dirt:   sadness/depressed, weary

edged closer to him:  sneaky, seeking comfort, seeking protection, seeking an audience

he stood straighter and straightened his tie:  sudden interest, sexual attraction

held his crotch and danced a frantic jig: demonstrates physical condition – he has to pee

hips rolled and undulated:  sexy walk, exaggerating for sex appeal

hovered over them with malice/like a threatening storm: here it’s malice, but one may hover for many reasons.

hunched over to look shorter:  appear inconspicuous, ashamed of actions, ashamed of height

leaped into action feet hammering the marbled floor:  eager, fear, joyous

long-legged strides:  hurried, impatient

lumbered across:  heavy steps of a big man in a hurry

minced her way up to him: timid, sneaky, insecure, dainty or pretense at dainty

paced/prowled the halls:  worried, worried impatience, impatient, diligently seeking pivoted on his heel and took off:  mistaken and changes direction, following orders, hurried, abrupt change of mind, angry retreat

plodded down the road:  unhurried, burdened, reluctant

practiced sensual stroll:  sexy, showing off

rammed her bare foot into her jeans: angry, rushed

rocked back and forth on his heels: thoughtful, impatiently waiting

sagged against the wall:  exhausted, disappointment

sallied forth:  confident, determined

sashayed her cute little fanny:  confident, determined, angered and determined

shrank into the angry crowd:  fear, insecure, seeking to elude

sketched a brief bow and assumed a regal pose: confident, mocking, snooty, arrogant skidded to an abrupt halt: change of heart, fear, surprise, shock

skulked on the edges of the crowd: sneaky, ashamed, timid

slithered through the door:  sneaky, evil, bad intentions

stormed toward her, pulling up short when: anger with a sudden surprise

swaggered into the class room:  over confident, proud, arrogant, conceited

tall erect posture:  confidence, military bearing

toe tapped a staccato rhythm:  impatience, irritation

tottered/staggered unsteadily then keeled over:  drunk, drugged, aged, ill

waltzed across the floor:  happy, blissful, exuberant, conceited, arrogant

Head Movement

cocked his head:  curiosity, smart-alecky, wondering, thoughtful

cocked his head left and rolled his eyes to right corner of the ceiling:  introspection

droop of his head: depressed, downcast, hiding true feelings

nodded vigorously: eager

tilted her head to one side while listening:  extreme interest, possibly sexual interest

Mouth And Jaw

a lackluster smile:  feigning cheerfulness

cigarette hung immobile in mouth: shock, lazy, uncaring, relaxed casualness

clinched his jaw at the sight:  angered, worried, surprised

curled her lips with icy contempt

expelled her breath in a whose:  relief, disappointment

gagged at the smell: disgust, distaste

gapped mouth stare:  surprised, shock, disbelief

gritted his teeth:  anger, irritation, holding back opinion

inhaled a sharp breath:  surprise, shock, fear, horror

licked her lips:  nervous, sexual attraction

lips primed: affronted, upset, insulted

lips pursed for a juicy kiss

lips pursed like she’d been chewing a lemon rind: dislike, angry, irritated, sarcasm

lips screwed into: irritation, anger, grimace, scorn

lips set in a grim line: sorrow, worried, fear of the worst

pursed her lips:  perturbed, waiting for a kiss

scarfed down the last biscuit:  physical hunger, greed

slack-mouthed:  total shock, disbelief

slow and sexy smile:  attraction, seductive, coy

smacked his lips: anticipation

smile congealed then melted into horror

smile dangled on the corner of his lips: cocky, sexy

smirked and tossed her hair over her shoulder:  conceit, sarcasm, over confident

sneered and flicked lint off his suit: sarcasm, conceit

spewed water and spit: shock

stuck out her tongue: humor, sarcasm, teasing, childish

toothy smile:  eagerness, hopeful

wary smile surfaced on her lips

Nose

nose wrinkled in distaste/at the aroma

nostrils flared:  anger, sexual attraction

nose in the air:  snooty, haughty

Face in General

crimson with fury

handed it over shame-faced

jutted his chin: confident, anger, forceful

managed a deadpan expression:  expressionless

muscles in her face tightened:  unsmiling, concealing emotions, anger, worried

rested his chin in his palm and looked thoughtful

rubbed a hand over his dark stubble:  thoughtful, ashamed of his appearance

screwed up her face:  anger, smiling, ready to cry, could almost be any emotion

sneered and flicked lint off his suit: conceit, derision, scorn

Arm and Hand

a vicious yank

arm curled around her waist, tugging her next to him:  possessive, pride, protective

bit her lip and glanced away:  shy, ashamed, insecure

brandished his fist:  anger, threatening, ready to fight, confident, show of pride

clamped his fingers into tender flesh:  anger, protective, wants to inflict pain

clenched his dirty little fists: stubborn, angry

clapped her hands on her hips, arms crooked like sugar bowel handles:  anger, demanding, disbelief

constantly twirled her hair and tucked it behind her ear:  attracted to the opposite sex, shy crossed his arms over his chest: waiting, impatient, putting a barrier

crushed the paper in his fist:  anger, surrender, discard

dived into the food: hunger, eager, greedy

doffed his hat:  polite gesture, mocking, teasing

doodled on the phone pad and tapped the air with her foot:  bored, inattention, introspection

drummed her fingers on the desk:  impatient, frustrated, bored

fanned her heated face with her hands: physically hot, embarrassed, indicating attraction

fiddled with his keys: nervous, bored

firm, palm to palm hand shake:  confident, honest

flipped him the bird: sarcastic discard

forked his fingers through his hair for the third time:  disquiet/consternation, worry, thoughtful

handed it over shame-faced:  guilt, shame

held his crotch and danced a frantic jig:  physical need to relieve himself

limp hand shake:  lack of confidence, lack of enthusiasm

propped his elbow on his knee: relaxed, thoughtful

punched her pillow:  restless, can’t sleep, angry

rested his chin in his palm:  thoughful, worried

scratched his hairy belly and yawned:  indolent, bored, lazy, relaxed, just waking

shoulders lifted in a shrug:  doubtful, careless discard

slapped his face in front of God and country:  enraged, affronted/insulted

snapped a sharp salute:  respect, sarcastic gesture meaning the opposite of respect

snapped his fingers, expecting service:  arrogant, lack of respect, self-centered

sneered and flicked lint off his suit

spread her arms wide: welcoming,  joy, love

stabbed at the food: anger, hunger, determined

stood straighter and smoothed his tie:  sudden interest, possible sexual interest

stuffed his hands in his pockets: self-conscious, throwing up a barrier

sweaty handshake:  nervous, fearful

touched his arm several times while explaining:  sign of attraction, flattery, possessive

wide sweep of his arms:  welcoming, all inclusive gesture, horror

Sitting or Rising

collapsed in a stupor:  exhausted, drunk, drugged, disbelief

enthroned himself at the desk:  conceit, pronouncing or taking ownership

exploded out of the chair:  shock, eager, anger, supreme joy

roosted on the porch rail like a cock on a hen house roof:  claiming ownership, conceit, content

sat, squaring an ankle over one knee:  relaxed and open

slouched/wilted in a chair and paid languid attention to:  drowsy, lazy, depressed, disinterest, sad, totally relaxed, disrespectful

squirmed in his chair: ill at ease, nervous, needs the bathroom

Recline

flung himself into the bed: sad, depressed, exhausted, happy

prostrated himself: surrender, desperate, miserable, powerless, obsequious, fawning, flattering

punched her pillow:  can’t sleep, anger, frustrated

threw himself on the floor kicking and screaming: tantrum

Entire body and General

body stiffened at the remark:  offended, anger, alerted

body swayed to music:  dreamy, fond memories, enjoys the music

bounced in the car seat, pointing:  excitement, fear, eager

cowered behind his brother:  fear, shyness, coward, desperate

curled into a ball:  sorrow, fear, sleepy, defensive

heart galloping:  anxiety, joy, eager

held his crotch and danced a frantic jig

humped over his cane, each step shaking and careful: pain, aged

inhaled a deep breath and blew out slowly: buying time to find words/thoughtful, reconciled

quick and jerky like rusty cogs on a wheel:  unsure of actions, self-conscious, tense, edgy

rocked back and forth on his heels:  impatient, cocky, gleeful

manhandled the woman into a corner:  bully, anger

slumped shoulders: defeat, depressed, sad, surrender

stiff-backed:  priggish, haughty, affronted

stood straighter and straightened his tie:  sexual interest, wants to make an impression

stooped and bent: aged, arthritic, in pain

stretched extravagantly and yawned:  tired, bored, unconcerned

sweating uncontrollably: nervous, fear, guilt

tall erect posture:  confidence, military bearing

was panting now at:  afraid, exhausted, out of breath, sexual excitement

-Sharla Rae

3 years ago

Six of crows au where Matthias keeps a diary and writes like an angsty teenage girl

"Dear Diary: The witch is trying to get me again. But she can't trick me, i'm not like those other girl and boys that fall under her charms , i'm diferent,i don't care about her shiny jade eyes, her flowing chocolate mane or how yummy she smells. Nope, i don't think about that at all.

Ugh, Kaz is such a bitch, just because he has money, i wish he fell off this boat and everyone acts like he is smart but i bet he is an idiot and the demon incarnated. All of them are horrible and i hate them.

Ps: Jesper you better not be reading this . Go fck that nerd and gtfo of my things

In CK

Dear Diary: I love ❤💞Nina😍 so much, i can't believe a girl like her noticed me.I have a piece of her hair to keep it with me forever.When we get to Fjerda we'll have a house with a garden,six children and four wolves. Inej will be the goodmother of ALL our children.

Btw,for now i have to endure the flirting between those two gay bitches (good for them,good for them)ishipthem

Oh and Kaz is still the worst.


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3 years ago

I. I need all the alignment chart memes. All. All of them. My hands are shaking. Please.

AIGHT YALL RB THIS POST WITH YOUR ALIGNMENT CHART BLANKS FOR THIS ANON

I. I Need All The Alignment Chart Memes. All. All Of Them. My Hands Are Shaking. Please.
I. I Need All The Alignment Chart Memes. All. All Of Them. My Hands Are Shaking. Please.
I. I Need All The Alignment Chart Memes. All. All Of Them. My Hands Are Shaking. Please.
I. I Need All The Alignment Chart Memes. All. All Of Them. My Hands Are Shaking. Please.
I. I Need All The Alignment Chart Memes. All. All Of Them. My Hands Are Shaking. Please.
I. I Need All The Alignment Chart Memes. All. All Of Them. My Hands Are Shaking. Please.
I. I Need All The Alignment Chart Memes. All. All Of Them. My Hands Are Shaking. Please.
I. I Need All The Alignment Chart Memes. All. All Of Them. My Hands Are Shaking. Please.
I. I Need All The Alignment Chart Memes. All. All Of Them. My Hands Are Shaking. Please.
I. I Need All The Alignment Chart Memes. All. All Of Them. My Hands Are Shaking. Please.
1 year ago

Remus is the guy you take home to your parents and they instantly like him more than they like you.

4 years ago

Suddenly someone's hands covered my eyes and pulled my head back. I tried to pull their hands away but it wouldn't work so I covered their hands with mine. Their fingers were long and thin, and their hands were slightly cold.

"Who is it?" I asked.

Not too long after, I felt a feather light kiss on my forehead followed by a quiet whisper in my ear. "Guess who?"

A smile spread across my face as I recognised his voice. I rose up a little and gave him a quick kiss, smiling like an idiot when his hands were removed from my face.

"Hi." I whispered.

"Hi." He responded.


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