Contrary To What People May Think, I’ll Never Be Too Crunchy To Light A Scented Candle, Wear Perfume

being taken seriously

when it comes to debating or professional settings, if you want to be perceived as more put together, then heres my advice :)

mannerisms:

have good posture!

maintain good hygeine

look clean and put together

always have fresh breath and clean teeth

having a good scent to you always helps

make eye contact with people

speak in a clear tone

don’t raise your voice, be able to speak calmly (i’m talking about when you debate with people, yelling is just kinda rude and makes other people scared lol, also doesn’t look mature)

work on not interupting people, let other people talk!

walk with your head up high! this goes with posture, walk like you have a crown on your head :)

take care of yourself and work to better yourself

attitude:

educate yourself

be open minded

be self-aware about your short comings

know when to keep your mouth shut and when to not engage in conflict

stay out of drama

don’t let other people bring you down

always act confident

eliminate self-depricating humor

remember- bringing other people down is insecure behavior!

show respect and manners to other people

be kind to other people, give them compliments, smile

be open to other points of view, really listen to other people and reflect

Hypergamy Harsh Truth?

The only thing I can really say is that men don’t want to date losers so do something with yourself and with your life. No one wants to spend their precious time with someone who they view as a burden or a waste of time, no one wants to waste their life away with someone who has nothing going on for them and is just a pretty face, and no one wants to hear endless talk about the soft life or other vapidness or spend the best years of their life with someone who’s never been able to grow up. You’re not a teenager anymore, it’s not cute to have never grown up and it’s not fair to expect others to stand by you whilst you fuck around. If you have nothing going on for you, if you’ve never lived outside of your family home or you’re incapable of working a job, and if you can’t take care of yourself then you cannot reasonably expect someone else to want to do that for you. The amount of emotional labour and sometimes even physical labour that goes into beginning and maintaining a relationship is intense and you’re not going to develop those skills overnight and you’re also shit out of luck if you don’t have basic social skills or the ability to create or maintain surface level friendships or relationships, you need confidence and you’re not going to gain those skills from anything I tell you. You need to get outside and actually work.

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Introduction to the Girl-boss by Day Grandma by Night Era

This era is all about embracing your highest self by focusing on career growth, self-improvement, and relying on a supportive community of like-minded women. It’s a time for productivity, success, and expanding knowledge—while nurturing creativity and self-expression. Ideally, this is a time to invest fully in yourself, uplift others, and build a foundation of success, knowledge, and meaningful connections.

Girlboss Mindset:

★This mindset mainly focuses on career, financial, and personal growth.

★Grind in school and/or work: prioritize studying, aim for all As, get the promotion, network with intention, dress for success, and continue honing professional skills

★Engage in self-improvement workshops (solo or group) once or twice a week on topics like public speaking, financial literacy, tackling your weaknesses, learning important skills, etc.

★Intellectual enrichment and skill building: read daily, listen to audiobooks, learn new skills or hobbies (like learning a language or DIY projects)

★Stay active & healthy: set a workout routine and stick to it, learn self-defense, do weekly pilates and core strengthening, start running, and stick to a healthy diet plan with real food

★Be proactive and cautious: get the fazer pepper spray or other protection, run errands (gym, store) during the day, avoid going out alone at night (even in safe areas), and stay aware of your surroundings.

★Civic duty: listen to informative podcasts from neutral/objective sources (NPR on spotify), if possible participate in public forums and town halls, engage with elected representatives, volunteer, and stay informed for every election especially local

Grandma Mindset:

★This mindset primarily focuses on self-expression and self-care through fulfilling activities and a supportive community of like-minded women.

★Get into gardening & live a self-sufficient life— you can start off with a small garden with herbs you use regularly.

★Set aside time each day for self-expression through nurturing old passions or new ones like journaling, poetry, art, crafting, sewing, etc.

★Prioritize self-care through meditation, grounding techniques, self-love practices, etc

★Shift your social energy from clubbing/bars/dating apps to meaningful connections and prioritizing activities that bring out your best self.

✧Instead of paying to party and being around strangers, try hosting/attending house gatherings, book clubs, wine nights, potlucks, etc with women & trusted allies.

✧Embrace alone time, create a regimen, do self care, do things independently, etc

✧Build a supportive community of women where you can connect, express your thoughts, and share experiences. This space allows for open discussions about potentially harmful/sketchy situations or people, helping everyone stay informed and safe.

✧Redefine dating: focus on self-growth and consider celibacy or, at the very least, raise your standards. Take time to get to know anyone new and prioritize safety by meeting in public spaces and avoiding going back to their place if you barely know them. Also trust your intuition.

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Femme Fatale Guide: How To Learn To Love Yourself & Heal From Toxic People

Allow yourself to feel all your emotions and thoughts, authentically and without self-criticism or judgment: Acknowledge that you're grieving. Accept that you need to mourn your loss. Even if it is better to move on in life without these people, it is healthy and completely valid to grieve the relationships you had with these people – regardless of whether they were one-sided, deluded, or otherwise toxic. Allow yourself to cry, be angry, lie in bed, etc. Hit a pillow, sleep in all day on a weekend, or wear a set of pajamas for a WFH day. Give yourself permission to engage in self-soothing behaviors without any type of self-harm or self-sabotage.

Rest, relax, and pamper yourself in your leisure time: Spend time taking it easy – reading, watching TV, doing a face mask or another indulgent skin treatment, using a body massager, cooking dinner in a silk robe and slippers, lighting a candle, cozying up in a blanket, etc. Allow yourself to feel at peace. Create a sanctuary in your space.

Take time for introspection and self-discovery: Being in any type of relationship with toxic people is draining and can cause you to feel as though you've lost a part of yourself by trying to make the relationship succeed. Now, it's time to reclaim yourself after you've courageously cut out these toxic people from your life. Consider and honor your deepest desires, values, interests, hobbies, lifestyle, goals, aesthetic, food, sexual, entertainment preferences, etc. Go on a self-discovery journey to figure out who you really are, what you believe, and who you will work to become as you enter this new, exciting chapter of your life.

Journal, read, eat healthily, work out, drink plenty of water, and sleep: Go back to the basic healthy habits. Try to journal for at least 5-10 minutes a day (using a 5-minute journal, morning pages [writing 3 pages of stream-of-conscious thoughts first thing in the morning], journal or shadow work prompts), make 2-3 whole food, plant-based meals with carbs, veggies, fruits, proteins, and healthy fats, find some ways to incorporate movement into your day – 30-minute walk or yoga session is enough if that's all you can manage consistently, have your body weight in ounces of water daily, and sleep for around 7-8 hours a night. Do some inner child healing by taking care of your core needs.

Indulge in all of your favorites: There's a lot of fun you can have when you have total freedom regarding your daily activities and choices. Give yourself permission to enjoy this solitude. Wear your favorite outfits every day (occasion-appropriate options, of course), including pajamas, loungewear, lingerie, and accessories. Make your favorite meals and snacks throughout the week (incorporating some healthy options in there to feel your best – I love a good oatmeal bowl, frozen grapes, baked Japanese sweet potato, or a hummus and vegetable plate). Watch your favorite TV shows or movies. Indulge in a glass of wine you love or reread a favorite book. Create a masterful playlist. Plan a day of your favorite activities (a long walk, getting a coffee, indulging in a spa day, going to a farmer's market, going to a yoga class, etc.) Treat yourself like your own best friend.

Get comfortable doing things alone: Honestly, no one cares or is paying attention to if you're doing activities alone or with someone else. If someone shows too much interest in your solitude, they're probably projecting their own insecurities regarding their perceived social ridicule. Take yourself shopping, to the nail salon, out for a meal, to the movies, etc. alone. Personally, I love doing most of these things alone anyways. Running errands alone gives you some space to clear your mind and think freely.

Define what an ideal social life and/or relationship looks like for you: Once you've become comfortable with yourself and living life on your own terms, it's time to embrace your desire for human connection and socialization. Consider the types of people you want in your life – their values, personalities, interests, goals, favorite activities, relational boundaries, etc., and where/when/how often you want to interact with them.

Create an action plan: Reconnect with the people in your life who continue to show up for you and have been a light through these toxic relationships and their lasting effects over the months or years. Decide on the places, groups, and ways you'll reach out/try to meet these people. Figure out how to expand your network, and make new connections. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. You won't vibe with everyone you meet, but it is worthwhile to engage in small talk with several strangers if even one of these new faces, later on, becomes a good friend or acquaintance. A varied social circle is a great way to enrich your life.

Take small steps, then strides: Be gentle on yourself throughout this entire process. It is perfectly okay to take one day at a time during the grieving process. Everyone's healing journey will look different and evolve at a different pace. Don't let these toxic people remain in your heart, mind, and spirit. Remember that you deserve love, kindness, happiness, success, peace, and patience.

What to plan at the beginning of each month

- Mani / Pedi

- Hair trim every two months

- A facial

- Date night by yourself or with your s/o

- A day spent completely by yourself

- Deep clean room

- Write down important events for the month in a calendar

- Spa day

- One breakfast / lunch / dinner with friends

- Pick a day to learn something new

- A day / weekend spent outdoors (hiking, camping, kayaking, grounding)

- Deep condition hair with mask

- Give yourself a new routine

- Throw away things (or people) that no longer serve you

- Plan your month goals in a journal

ideas to work on during your self-improvement journey [that girl]

1. body language— both reading and practicing (perfect for those of you who are verbally awkward)

2. being more exclusive with your time, effort, energy, and presence

3. finding a theme or mantra during your self development journey— it helps if you are someone that finds quotes and words helpful and as reminders

4. strengthening your life skills such as cooking, baking, cleaning, budgeting, shopping smart, self-defense, etc.

5. evaluating your boundaries and communicating your boundaries

6. not letting anxiety or depression become who you are and defining you as a person

7. learning how to enjoy being alone without feeling lonely

8. identifying self-destructive behaviors such as taking toxic exes back or self-sabotaging

9. becoming more bold with the actions you take towards something you really want aka going for it with your whole heart

10. not letting rejection hit you personally. it’s okay that we’re not a right fit for someone just like it’s okay when they’re not a right fit for us— that doesn’t mean we think horrible things about them and vice versa so stop taking rejection personally

11. not getting attached prematurely

12. not pushing anyone away once we feel like we’re becoming close

13. setting standards for yourself and who + what comes into your life

join my self-development membership page here that has dozens of free ebooks that i’ve purchased, 2.5 hours of leveling up audio content that i don’t post on tumblr, and the addition of weekly content uploaded every wednesday or thursday 🤍

I'll say it as many times as it needs to be said: track your housework. Have a schedule and keep it. Make sure you know what you're doing every day. If you aren't keeping track, it's so easy to fall into a rut and feel like you haven't done anything. It's so easy to over work yourself. Much of household maintenance is invisible. If you're keeping up, your home will pretty much look consistent and it gets difficult to recognize all the work you've actually put in to keep it that way.

When I first started, I'd over work myself to the point of passing out each day because I wasn't pacing myself. I was trying to deep clean the entire house every single day, which is not only impractical, but also impossible to maintain. I started tracking everything and now not only do I have more energy but I have time for myself during the day. I don't burn out anymore. Keeping track and scheduling is sincerely a lifesaver.

How to Stop Procrastinating by Managing Your Emotions

Procrastination happens when we delay doing things, and it's often connected to our emotions. Feelings like being afraid to fail, feeling worried or stressed, getting bored, or lacking motivation can all contribute to procrastination. To stop procrastinating and get more things done, it's important to learn how to handle our emotions better.

Boredom:

Break the task into smaller, more engaging sub-tasks.

Find ways to make the task more interesting or challenging.

Set a timer and work on the task for a specific amount of time, followed by a short break doing something enjoyable.

Feeling Overwhelmed:

Prioritize tasks and focus on one thing at a time.

Break the task into smaller, more manageable steps.

Delegate some parts of the task if possible or seek help from others.

Use tools like to-do lists or task management apps to stay organized.

Anxiety:

Practice deep breathing or mindfulness techniques to calm yourself.

Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with more positive and realistic ones.

Start with the easier or less intimidating aspects of the task to build momentum.

Set realistic expectations and remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes.

Self-Doubt:

Focus on past accomplishments and successes to boost your confidence.

Seek support or feedback from others to gain reassurance.

Remind yourself of your skills and capabilities to tackle the task.

Use positive affirmations to counteract negative self-talk.

Perfectionism:

Embrace the concept of "good enough" rather than seeking perfection.

Set realistic and achievable goals for each task.

Recognize that mistakes and imperfections are part of the learning process and growth.

Indecisiveness:

Break decisions into smaller steps and make one small decision at a time.

Set a time limit for making decisions to avoid overthinking.

Trust your instincts and make the best decision you can with the information available.

Apathy or Lack of Interest:

Find aspects of the task that align with your values or long-term goals.

Break the task into smaller, more manageable parts and focus on completing one at a time.

Reward yourself for completing the task to make it more appealing.

Stress or Burnout:

Practice stress-reduction techniques such as meditation, exercise, or spending time in nature.

Break tasks into smaller steps to reduce the feeling of overwhelm.

Prioritize self-care and take breaks to avoid burnout.

Feeling Uninspired or Creatively Blocked:

Engage in activities that stimulate creativity, such as brainstorming, mind mapping, or seeking inspiration from others' work.

Start with a simple and basic version of the task to get the creative juices flowing.

Collaborate with others or seek feedback to gain new perspectives.

Fear of Success:

Identify and challenge the negative beliefs or fears that may be holding you back.

Visualize the positive outcomes of completing the task successfully.

Focus on the benefits and personal growth that come with success.

Impatience:

Break long-term goals into smaller milestones to track progress.

Practice mindfulness to stay present and patient throughout the process.

Remind yourself that progress takes time and effort.

Lack of Confidence:

Celebrate your past accomplishments to boost your confidence.

Seek support and encouragement from friends, family, or mentors.

Focus on building specific skills related to the task to increase confidence.

Avoiding Discomfort:

Acknowledge that discomfort is a natural part of growth and improvement.

Break tasks into smaller steps and tackle the more challenging aspects gradually.

Remind yourself of the long-term benefits of facing discomfort.

Overestimating Future Motivation:

Practice discipline and commit to starting tasks even when motivation is low.

Set specific deadlines for tasks to create a sense of urgency.

Establish a routine that includes regular work on the task to build consistency.

Joyful hobbies for the fabulous-minded

1. Learning languages

Learning languages is not only for communication but also for broadening your mind. Figuring out different modes of thinking, learning about other cultures, being able to pronounce words from different geographies is never not fun!

2. Gardening - inhouse plants

Not all of us is blessed with yards, but we can all appreciate taking care of beautiful greens. It teaches patience and train you to notice small details. Nothing makes a room pleasant as a beautiful plant. I have more than 30 plants in my house - the secret is to start with simplest species and up your way to more complicated ones.

3. Writing

Journaling has always been popular but I doubt it is everyone's cup of tea (including yours truly). However, writing small articles and collections for your own eyes helps clearing your mind. And why not try dabbling in fiction, if so inclined?

4. Dancing

A hard one for me! But for everyone who has a little rhythm inside, learning to dance with a partner is a fun challenge. I believe everyone should be able to waltz, even in the simplest way.

5. Sewing (or studying the basics of dressmaking)

Sewing is not only a hobby but also a life saver. Altering clothing to fit properly or designing items for you feels magical.

Understanding how garments are built is crucial for dressing yourself. Understanding cuts and materials also help you assess the worth of an item, so you can decide if a piece is worth splurging on. You could also choose to recreate an item for yourself if you are not able to purchase it for any reason.

6. Learning to cook (impressive recipes)

We all feed ourself in some way, but I strongly believe that everyone should have at least a few recipes with a wow factor in their arsenal.

7. Reading fiction

I see that reading self help books are quite popular, and I do understand the allure. However reading fiction (classics and also contemporary works) is at least as useful as non-fiction, it teaches as much. Fiction is a way to understand ourself and understand humanity, and it should be appreciated for personal growth.

Hope this short list makes you inspired to discover more joyful hobbies!

With love,

Marchesa

Please ladies listen!! Educate yourself as much as you can, we have the internet and can learn virtually anything for FREE. Enjoy yourself of course but stop wasting time. Study if your in school and learn as much as you can, if your not in school still educate yourself, learn new vocabulary, learn facts, learn about plants/animals or history/science. Even learning stuff like sewing or making certain things will help etc. Being educated will help you so much in life and will overall your motive your quality of life. Educate yourself and then share all your knowledge with your kids if you have them in the future.