1. Ease Up On The Doormat Culture

Toxic romanticization of studying

In a word of introduction, my profile partly shows that studying and exploring is wonderful. But as a person involved in science*, I would like to show healthy and true patterns of this beautiful adventure in acquiring knowledge.

The inspiration for writing this post this time was not the phenomenon from Tumblr (although you can also observe it here), but from Pinterest. There you can come across cycles composed of quotes and photos whose aim is to motivate young girls to learn, succeed and get good grades. These images often also show examples of characters from movies, TV series or real life that you can aspire to be like. Overall, I have to agree that it really works! But I would like to draw attention to certain elements that need to be verified.

1. You shouldn't get up at 5am

First of all, the correct amount of sleep is one of the most important factors affecting the proper and effective functioning of our brain. During sleep, nerve cells regenerate, organize information acquired during the day and consolidate memory traces, which is directly related to learning. Lack of sleep increases impulsivity, deepens negative thinking and slows down the body's reaction time!

2. You can be a genius without good grades

Of course, good grades are a pleasant confirmation of our knowledge and praise for hard work. However, sometimes it is worth considering whether the structure of exams themselves, especially those with closed questions, affects the results. We often study for one specific exam, the knowledge of which may be very… limited and sometimes not useful, so it is worth prioritizing the topics that we study hard.

3. It's not cool to think you're better than others

We are different and have different priorities in life. It is also worth considering how many people escape from the rat race and start a slow, stress-free life. So we have to agree that judging people based on grades or responses under stress (sic!) is not cool.

The good thing about romanticizing studying

As I have already said, these types of collages are really motivating. So let's talk about what's great about them and what's worth highlighting and saving for later.

1. Knowledge is beautiful, but your outfit and surroundings can also be

We know that we should never judge a book by its cover, but… the issue of social perception painfully confirms that we do and will continue to do so because this is how our brains work. And isn't it nice when someone looks at us and thinks this girl is so classy?

Moreover, a nice outfit that makes us feel good gives us a lot of self-confidence. There are also many studies confirming the positive impact on motivation and concentration of a neat and aesthetic workplace.

2. Not just cramming, but also discovering

Broadening your horizons is easier with passion and real commitment. And to achieve this, the topics must really interest us. Not everyone has yet found something that they are extremely passionate about in science, so that is why you have to dig deeper and discover different areas.

3. Don't be afraid to use your knowledge in practice

Schools and universities, unfortunately, have their own rules and they do not always allow you to show your 100% potential. Thus, share your knowledge with others externally, write essays, blog and social media. This form of activity also makes you learn things faster and easier. In addition, contacts with others will expand your knowledge.

Therefore, I must say that it is worth choosing your inspirations carefully. Nothing helps you enjoy studying better than a clear head and lack of prejudices.

*This post was inspired by my own experience with studying. If anyone is interested, I think I can share my mistakes that did not help me in an academic adventure :)

Wake up call fr

Aphrodite’s dark side | Epithets

Evidence of a cult of a warrior and dark Aphrodite has been widely studied. Aphrodite had been depicted with armor and prayed to for martial assistance in many places from Syria, to Corinth, Sparta, Argos, the Attika, Kypris, Rome, Naxos, and many, many, other places (but mainly Sparta. Surprising, no?). The cult of a warrior Aphrodite has been suspected to have emerged from Aphrodite’s “ancestral” correspondents like Istar or Astarte, who were both goddesses of sex and war. However, the evidence of a dark face of Aphrodite is there, and it can be too called upon today, even if it wasn't as popular as her holy and hevenly aspects.

Enoplios — weapon bearing

This is an epithet of Aphrodite attested by Plutarch, and is also epigraphically present in the Roman period. In the third century AD a priestess, Ponponia Kallistoneiké, set up a dedication to Artemis Ortheia in Lakonia attesting one of her fellow deities was Aphrodite Enoplios.

Summakhia — ally in war

Pausanias finds a cult of Aphrodite “ally in war” in Arkadia. This is all the comment I could find about it.

Nikephoros — victory bearer

In Argos, according to Pausanias, Aphrodite wore the epithet “victory-bearer”. Icons of Nikephoros and Hoplismene (armed) Aphrodite have been also attested in Syria and Eretria.

Areia — of Ares / war-like

At Sparta mainly, there is a lot of evidence of icons portraying an armed Aphrodite with inscriptions of this epithet. Pausanias tells us of one in a temple behind the Bronze House of Athena. There is another female wearing a peplos, a helmet and a spear, but without the aegis that characterizes Athena, thus many suspect it belongs to an armed Aphrodite.

HOWEVER Leonidas of Tarentum writes in the third century: “Eurotas once said to Kypris (Aphrodite), ‘Either take up arms, or quit Sparta, the polis mad for arms.’ She, laughing, replied, ‘I shall be ever unarmed.’ She said ‘and I shall dwell in Lakedaimonia.’ Our Kypris is unarmed. Shameful are those tale-tellers who say that our goddess bears arms!”

BUT from Antipater of Sidon, in the first century, there is a contradiction: “Even Kypris is Spartan. She is not dressed as in other towns in soft garments; But in full-force she has a helmet instead of a veil, instead of golden branches a spear-shaft. For it is not proper for her to be without arms, the consort of Thracian Enyalios (Ares) and a Lakedaimonian.” And this is not the only record we have of an actual Aphrodite wearing armor in Sparta; Plutarch, Nonnos, Julianus of Egypt and perhaps others tell us about the Spartan tendency to portray Aphrodite wearing an armor; either bow and quiver, spear and helmet, a shield, and even a sword. So perhaps Leonidas was either being sarcastic or lying (or the cult of Aphrodite Areia came after him, of course). This Epithet is thus related to Hoplismene. Julianus tells us that in the sanctuaries of armed Aphrodite girls revere her war-like nature and women give birth to courageous children.

Above all, Pausanias also claims that this Aphrodite was specifically worshipped as a female Ares. This gives us a clue whether this Aphrodite had been syncretized with Ares’ actual femenine counterpart, Enyo (Ares has an epithet related to her: Enyalios)

Androphonos — killer of men

This epithet is representative of her chthonic aspect. There is evidence of a sanctuary of hers and Aphrodite Anosia in Thessaly.

Anosia — the unholy

Aphrodite Anossia apparently was celebrated by women in Thessaly, and she is associated with homosexuality (although this is doubtful). Atheneus tells us a tale of a hetaira (courtesan) named Lais, that flee to Thessaly and fell in love with a man. A band of jealous women beat her to death at Aphrodite’s temple and thus the goddess in this temple became known as Anosia, the Unholy.

Tumborukhos — gravedigger

The Pythagoreans said there are two Aphrodites: one in heaven and one in the Underworld. Therefore she was called Tumborukhos as well.

Epitumbidia — she upon the graves

Couldn't find much information on this epithet either but it must be related to the previous one and representative of her Underworld connections.

Skotia — dark one

This epithet is referent of Aphrodite’s origins as a terrible goddess, and her associations with the planet venus, which were suppressed later by the pop cult (not the association with the planet, tho). This epithet appears to link her to the Erynies and Hekate, and may be referent of a “witch-star” (kakkab kassaptu in ancient Babylonian) nature. The lack of evidence for these type of epithets points at an unpopularity of them. It is important to highlight that some of them could be use against the goddess to give her a bad or “demonic” reputation in the christian sense so I suspect their suppression might have a relation to that.

Melanis — black

Related to the previous epithet. It appears that these “dark” and “unholy” aspects of her are related to the planet venus, as points her Ouraneia (“heavenly”) epithet as well. Venus was known as a “star of lamentation”.

Persephaessa — Queen of the Underworld

This epithet appears to be a syncretism between Aphrodite and Persephone. This is obviously mainly an epithet of Persephone. I could not find evidence for it being used to Aphrodite in the ancient world, just commentaries about it; however, by searching it on google you find an archeological source of it but sadly its written in german, and I have no idea how to read german.

Hoplismene — armed

Pausanias tells us about the sanctuary of Aphrodite at Kythera, saying that there “the goddess herself is an armed xoanon”. The xoanon were archaic wooden icons, and this one, according to Pausanias, was wearing an armor. Quintilian once asked why the Lakedaimonians (Spartans) have an armed Aphrodite, and Plutarch said that they like to portray every god in armor to show that all of them have excellence in warfare. This Aphrodite is present in Corinth as well.

Hegemone — leader (of the troops)

This Epithet of Aphrodite is found in the Athenian Agora, and their border fortress at Rhamnous. The city council also offered dedications to this Aphrodite. There are figures of her engaged in combat with the giant Mimos, and other portrays Aphrodite in a chariot wearing Athena's aegis (although it lacks the gorgon face), along with Poseidon. Hesikhios confirmed this epithet in the sixth century AD saying it applies to Artemis as well. This Aphrodite was also offered sacrifices with Themis and Nemesis, in honor of Aeneas, her son.

Strateia — campaigner

In the Hellenistic period, Aphrodite was called Strateia in western Asia Minor. There is an inscription from Mylasa refers to a priest of Aphrodite Strateia, and a calendar of offerings specifies sacrificing to Aphrodite Strateia along with Arete and Herakles. In Paros and Epiros, strategoi (military generals) are known to have sacrificed to Aphrodite, along with other deities.

Enkheios — spear-bearer

Hesikhios, an author from the 6th century AD, tells us about a terracotta Aphrodite in Cyprus depicted holding a helmet in one hand, a spear, and a shield leaning against one of her legs.

Conclusions

Can we use these aspects of Aphrodite even if they have been exaggerated and weren't actually very much present in ancient cult? Of course. Because worship changes and evolves, if you find one of these epithets symbolic in your life and devotion, you can totally use them and even give them a different dimension. As a witch, for example, I could use the dark and unholy epithets of Aphrodite as a symbol of how witchcraft has been regarded as evil in superstition and a reminder of the persecution women have gone through, and it would be an act of devotion to the Goddess and an act of empowerment. The unpopularity of many of these epithets is also representative of stigma against women and thus using them today could be attested as an act of rebellion.

References

Stephanie L. Boudin, Aphrodite Enoplion

The Other Side of Aphrodite

William Manning, The Double Tradition of Aphrodite’s Birth and her Semitic Origins

Yulia Ustinova, The Supreme Gods of the Bosporan Kingdom: Celestial Aphrodite & the Most High God

Laura McClure, Courtesans at Tables: Gender and Greek Literary Culture in Athenaeus.

John Opsopaus, The Ancient Greek Esoteric Doctrine of the Elements: Water.

Aeon Journal, Aphrodite

You owe it to yourself to get up after each fall, brush yourself off and do better. There is no finish line, no race. The only competition is yourself, and when you realize that, you finally know that there was never the question whether you fail or succeed. You have already won darling, as long as you keep moving forward.

Your home is an extension of your energy field. That’s why habits such as cleaning your home, getting rid of unnecessary clutter, opening all the windows and keeping your environment positive can have an impact on our mind, body and spirit. Take care of your safe space.

the secret to living a calm and confident life lies in being organised and prepared. when you are always scrambling, searching, stumbling, you create an energy of chaos. part of respecting yourself is adequately preparing yourself for what lies ahead, through organisation and practise.

Sorry to break it to you but you literally have to face your fears and slaughter them. Otherwise you will live a small life that you do not want. You literally have to view your biggest fears and attack them head on. You have to fall into the abyss to find your way out. The easy path does not exist. There is no get out of jail free card. You have to allow yourself to die a spiritual death over and over again in order to reinvent yourself into the person you are actually supposed to be. And you have to be painfully honest with yourself and the people around you. It’s horrible but it’s truly the only way.

become a disciplined person easily

it's not that you are lazy or don't know how to do it, you just don't know how to organize your time well, stop telling yourself that you don't have discipline or that's for other people and take action now!

start by organizing your current life

what are my goals? what would be my ideal routine? where can i start? what habits are stealing my time or are harmful to me? am i satisfied with my current life? what should i improve? what can i do now to improve?

after answering these questions yourself and having a clearer idea of what you want, write down your short-term goals (for example to become more disciplined in one month by creating small routines) and start organizing yourself, again ask yourself, what can i change right now? and for sure you can improve many things, you can start exercising, have a day and night skincare routine, go for a walk every day, write a diary, whatever you want! and propose to do these new things for at least a week every day, take it as a challenge, even if it is 10 minutes a day, but make a space in your agenda for this new thing you want to start, this is how you will start to create a discipline.

find your motivation

what are the long and short-term benefits you will get when you start this habit or routine? how will you feel when you get what you want, no matter how small? what improvements will there be in your life during and after this?

little by little

as i explained before you can take this as a small challenge, choose a new "harder" habit and another smaller one like drinking water several times a day, and to remind you of this you can carry a bottle of water with you (and i recommend this habit to everyone). if you want to start exercising and you always end up leaving it, propose to yourself the challenge of doing every day 10 minutes for a week and this way you will get used to it (it can be any task that you want to incorporate to your life) and enjoy the process, write or talk to someone how you feel, it may be hard at first but you have to get used to it, do not put too much effort during the first week, maybe there are days that you do not feel like it, but remember better little than nothing, but remember always do it for your well being and improvement, that is the biggest reason you will find.

it can also help you to keep a record of what you do during the day, you can write it down or use an app called daylio, by seeing your progress will keep you motivated.d

some ideas to train your discipline

wake up one hour earlier than usual and go to sleep one hour earlier

organize yourself every day with a planner as soon as you wake up

know your goals for the day

control the time you spend on social media or watching tv

don't give up!

after you have achieved your goal, for example, to lose weight, don't give up the habits you created, you have to keep them in your life so you have to create a routine that suits you and makes you feel happy and motivated at the same time. you will always have more goals to achieve. when you create a routine and a plan of action everything will be much easier for you.

The Charisma Myth: things that I liked

dokumen.pub

The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism 9781101560303, 2011043729 - DOKUMEN.PUB

...

Three quick tips to gain an instant charisma boost in conversation:

Lower the intonation of your voice at the end of your sentences. Reduce how quickly and how often you nod.

Pause for two full seconds before you speak.

The very next time you’re in a conversation, try to regularly check whether your mind is fully engaged or whether it is wandering elsewhere (including preparing your next sentence).

Expensive clothing leads us to assume wealth, friendly body language leads us to assume good intentions, a confident posture leads us to assume the person has something to be confident about. In essence, people will tend to accept whatever you project.

when you can project both power and warmth together, you really maximize your personal charisma potential.

charismatic behaviors must originate in your mind. Knowing how to skillfully handle mental discomfort is even more important than knowing how to handle physical discomfort. Anxiety is a serious drawback to charisma. First, it impacts our internal state: quite obviously, it’s hard to be fully present while you’re feeling anxious. Anxiety can also lower our confidence. Anxiety, low presence, and low confidence can show up directly in our body language, as well as reduce our ability to emanate warmth.

 The single most effective technique I’ve found to alleviate the discomfort of uncertainty is the responsibility transfer. Pick an entity—God, Fate, the Universe, whatever may best suit your beliefs—that you could imagine as benevolent. Imagine lifting the weight of everything you’re concerned about—this meeting, this interaction, this day—off your shoulders and placing it on the shoulders of whichever entity you’ve chosen. They’re in charge now. Visually lift everything off your shoulders and feel the difference as you are now no longer responsible for the outcome of any of these things. Everything is taken care of. You can sit back, relax, and enjoy whatever good you can find along the way.

Golfer Jack Nicklaus said that he never hit a shot, even during practice, without visualizing it first. For decades, professional athletes have considered visualization an essential tool, often spending hours visualizing their victory, telling their mind just what they want their body to achieve.

“There is good evidence that imagining oneself performing an activity activates parts of the brain that are used in actually performing the activity,” Professor Stephen Kosslyn, director of Stanford’s Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences, wrote me. Visualization can even physically alter the brain structure: repeated experiments have shown that simply imagining yourself playing the piano with sufficient repetition leads to a detectable and measurable change in the motor cortex of the brain.

Silvia recently confided that visualization is one of the secrets to her success. Before key meetings, she’ll imagine “the smiles on their faces because they liked me and they are confident about the value I’m bringing them. I’ll imagine as much detail as I can, even seeing the wrinkles around their eyes as they’re smiling.” She visualizes the whole interaction, all the way through to the firm handshakes that close the meeting, sealing the deal.

A twenty-second hug is enough to send oxytocin coursing through your veins, and that you can achieve the same effect just by imagining the hug. So the next time you’re feeling anxious, you might want to imagine being wrapped up in a great big hug from someone you care about.

Self-confidence is our belief in our ability to do or to learn how to do something.

Self-esteem is how much we approve of or value ourselves. It’s often a comparison-based evaluation (whether measured against other people or against our own internal standards for approval).

Self-compassion is how much warmth we can have for ourselves, especially when we’re going through a difficult experience.

It’s quite possible for people to have high self-confidence but low self-esteem and very low self-compassion.

Types of charisma:

Focus: Focus charisma requires, of course, the ability to focus and be truly present. Good listening skills are nonnegotiable, as is a certain degree of patience. To develop focus charisma, cultivate your ability to be present.

Visionary charisma makes others feel inspired; it makes us believe. It can be remarkably effective even though it won’t necessarily make people like you. We assess visionary charisma primarily through demeanor, which includes body language and behavior. Due to the fact that people tend to accept whatever you project, if you seem inspired, they will assume you have something to be inspired about.

kindness charisma comes entirely from body language—specifically your face, and even more specifically your eyes. Kindness charisma is primarily based on warmth. It connects with people’s hearts, and makes them feel welcomed, cherished, embraced, and, most of all, completely accepted.

Authority charisma is primarily based on a perception of power: the belief that this person has the power to affect our world. We evaluate someone’s authority charisma through four indicators: body language, appearance, title, and the reactions of others. you’ll need to learn how to “take up space” with your posture, reduce nonverbal reassurances (such as excessive nodding), and avoid fidgeting. You may need to speak less, to speak more slowly, to know how and when to pause your sentences, or how to modulate your intonation. Look expensive. 

Avoid holding a drink in your right hand, especially if it’s a cold drink, as the condensation will make your hand feel cold and clammy. Before shaking someone’s hand, whether you are a man or a woman, rise if you’re seated. And keep your hands out of your pockets: visible hands make you look more open and honest. Make sure to use plenty of eye contact, and smile warmly but briefly: too much smiling could make you appear overeager. Keep your head straight, without tilting it in any way, and face the person.

Ask people open ended questions, focus on questions that will likely elicit positive emotions. With your questions, you have the power to lead the conversation in the direction you want. In fact, even when you’re speaking, the one word that should pop up most often in your conversation is not I but you. Instead of saying “I read a great article on that subject in the New York Times,” try “You might enjoy the recent New York Times article on the subject.” Or simply insert “You know...” before any sentence to make them instantly perk up and pay attention.

Another way to exit a conversation with grace is to offer something of value:

Information: an article, book, or Web site you think might be of use to them A connection: someone they ought to meet whom you know and can introduce them to

Visibility: an organization you belong to, where you could invite them to speak

Recognition: an award you think they should be nominated for

When someone has spoken, see if you can let your facial expression react first, showing that you’re absorbing what they’ve just said and giving their brilliant statement the consideration it deserves. Only then, after about two seconds, do you answer. The sequence goes like this:

They finish their sentence

Your face absorbs

Your face reacts

Then, and only then, you answer

The next time you’re given a compliment, the following steps will help you skillfully handle the moment:

1. Stop.

2. Absorb the compliment.

3. Let that second of absorption show on your face. Show the person that they’ve had an impact.

4. Thank them. Saying “Thank you very much” is enough, but you can take it a step further by thanking them for their thoughtfulness or telling them that they’ve made your day.

It’s not just metaphors that can paint the wrong picture. Some common phrases can have the same effect. When you tell someone, “No problem,” “Don’t worry,” or “Don’t hesitate to call,” for example, there’s a chance their brain will remember “problem,” “worry,” or “hesitate” instead of your desire to support them. To counter this negative effect, use phrases like “We’ll take care of it” or “Please feel free to call anytime.”

You can deliver value to others in multiple ways:

Entertainment: Make your e-mail or meeting enjoyable.

Information: Give interesting or informative content that they can use. 

Good feelings: Find ways to make them feel important or good about themselves. 

The longer you speak, the higher the price you’re making them pay, so the higher the value ought to be. 

If your goal is to communicate power, set the pitch, tone, volume, and tempo of your voice in the following ways:

Pitch and tone: The lower, more resonant, and more baritone your voice, the more impact it will have.

Volume: One of the first things an actor learns to do on stage is to project his voice, which means gaining the ability to modulate its volume and aim it in such a targeted way that specific portions of the audience can hear it, even from afar. One classic exercise to hone your projection skills is to imagine that your words are arrows. As you speak, aim them at different groups of listeners.

Tempo: A slow, measured tempo with frequent pauses conveys confidence.

To emanate vocal warmth, you need to do only one thing: smile, or even just imagine smiling.

Charismatic people are known to be more “contagious”; they have a strong ability to transmit their emotions to others.

The most effective and credible compliments are those that are both personal and specific. For instance, instead of “Great job,” you could say, “You did a great job,” or, better yet, “The way you kept your calm when that client became obnoxious was impressive.”

Here’s one specific—and surprisingly effective—recommendation for phone charisma, courtesy of author Leil Lowndes: Do not answer the phone in a warm or friendly manner. Instead, answer crisply and professionally. Then, only after you hear who is calling, let warmth or even enthusiasm pour forth in your voice. This simple technique is an easy and effective way to make people feel special. I recommend it to all my business clients whose companies have a strong customer service component. The gains in customer satisfaction are impressive.

Charisma takes practice. Steve Jobs, who appeared so masterful on stage, was known to rehearse important presentations relentlessly.

Retain at least a certain measure of equanimity. Most charismatic leaders are known for their ability to remain (or appear) calm even in the midst of turbulent circumstances.

you're smart enough to know the difference between resting and rotting. you'll be happier when you choose to spend your time off restoring your energy and preparing for the next busy day instead of oversleeping and mindlessly consuming content.