GUIDE TO THE MINDSET GLOW UP 🎀

Aphrodite’s dark side | Epithets

Evidence of a cult of a warrior and dark Aphrodite has been widely studied. Aphrodite had been depicted with armor and prayed to for martial assistance in many places from Syria, to Corinth, Sparta, Argos, the Attika, Kypris, Rome, Naxos, and many, many, other places (but mainly Sparta. Surprising, no?). The cult of a warrior Aphrodite has been suspected to have emerged from Aphrodite’s “ancestral” correspondents like Istar or Astarte, who were both goddesses of sex and war. However, the evidence of a dark face of Aphrodite is there, and it can be too called upon today, even if it wasn't as popular as her holy and hevenly aspects.

Enoplios — weapon bearing

This is an epithet of Aphrodite attested by Plutarch, and is also epigraphically present in the Roman period. In the third century AD a priestess, Ponponia Kallistoneiké, set up a dedication to Artemis Ortheia in Lakonia attesting one of her fellow deities was Aphrodite Enoplios.

Summakhia — ally in war

Pausanias finds a cult of Aphrodite “ally in war” in Arkadia. This is all the comment I could find about it.

Nikephoros — victory bearer

In Argos, according to Pausanias, Aphrodite wore the epithet “victory-bearer”. Icons of Nikephoros and Hoplismene (armed) Aphrodite have been also attested in Syria and Eretria.

Areia — of Ares / war-like

At Sparta mainly, there is a lot of evidence of icons portraying an armed Aphrodite with inscriptions of this epithet. Pausanias tells us of one in a temple behind the Bronze House of Athena. There is another female wearing a peplos, a helmet and a spear, but without the aegis that characterizes Athena, thus many suspect it belongs to an armed Aphrodite.

HOWEVER Leonidas of Tarentum writes in the third century: “Eurotas once said to Kypris (Aphrodite), ‘Either take up arms, or quit Sparta, the polis mad for arms.’ She, laughing, replied, ‘I shall be ever unarmed.’ She said ‘and I shall dwell in Lakedaimonia.’ Our Kypris is unarmed. Shameful are those tale-tellers who say that our goddess bears arms!”

BUT from Antipater of Sidon, in the first century, there is a contradiction: “Even Kypris is Spartan. She is not dressed as in other towns in soft garments; But in full-force she has a helmet instead of a veil, instead of golden branches a spear-shaft. For it is not proper for her to be without arms, the consort of Thracian Enyalios (Ares) and a Lakedaimonian.” And this is not the only record we have of an actual Aphrodite wearing armor in Sparta; Plutarch, Nonnos, Julianus of Egypt and perhaps others tell us about the Spartan tendency to portray Aphrodite wearing an armor; either bow and quiver, spear and helmet, a shield, and even a sword. So perhaps Leonidas was either being sarcastic or lying (or the cult of Aphrodite Areia came after him, of course). This Epithet is thus related to Hoplismene. Julianus tells us that in the sanctuaries of armed Aphrodite girls revere her war-like nature and women give birth to courageous children.

Above all, Pausanias also claims that this Aphrodite was specifically worshipped as a female Ares. This gives us a clue whether this Aphrodite had been syncretized with Ares’ actual femenine counterpart, Enyo (Ares has an epithet related to her: Enyalios)

Androphonos — killer of men

This epithet is representative of her chthonic aspect. There is evidence of a sanctuary of hers and Aphrodite Anosia in Thessaly.

Anosia — the unholy

Aphrodite Anossia apparently was celebrated by women in Thessaly, and she is associated with homosexuality (although this is doubtful). Atheneus tells us a tale of a hetaira (courtesan) named Lais, that flee to Thessaly and fell in love with a man. A band of jealous women beat her to death at Aphrodite’s temple and thus the goddess in this temple became known as Anosia, the Unholy.

Tumborukhos — gravedigger

The Pythagoreans said there are two Aphrodites: one in heaven and one in the Underworld. Therefore she was called Tumborukhos as well.

Epitumbidia — she upon the graves

Couldn't find much information on this epithet either but it must be related to the previous one and representative of her Underworld connections.

Skotia — dark one

This epithet is referent of Aphrodite’s origins as a terrible goddess, and her associations with the planet venus, which were suppressed later by the pop cult (not the association with the planet, tho). This epithet appears to link her to the Erynies and Hekate, and may be referent of a “witch-star” (kakkab kassaptu in ancient Babylonian) nature. The lack of evidence for these type of epithets points at an unpopularity of them. It is important to highlight that some of them could be use against the goddess to give her a bad or “demonic” reputation in the christian sense so I suspect their suppression might have a relation to that.

Melanis — black

Related to the previous epithet. It appears that these “dark” and “unholy” aspects of her are related to the planet venus, as points her Ouraneia (“heavenly”) epithet as well. Venus was known as a “star of lamentation”.

Persephaessa — Queen of the Underworld

This epithet appears to be a syncretism between Aphrodite and Persephone. This is obviously mainly an epithet of Persephone. I could not find evidence for it being used to Aphrodite in the ancient world, just commentaries about it; however, by searching it on google you find an archeological source of it but sadly its written in german, and I have no idea how to read german.

Hoplismene — armed

Pausanias tells us about the sanctuary of Aphrodite at Kythera, saying that there “the goddess herself is an armed xoanon”. The xoanon were archaic wooden icons, and this one, according to Pausanias, was wearing an armor. Quintilian once asked why the Lakedaimonians (Spartans) have an armed Aphrodite, and Plutarch said that they like to portray every god in armor to show that all of them have excellence in warfare. This Aphrodite is present in Corinth as well.

Hegemone — leader (of the troops)

This Epithet of Aphrodite is found in the Athenian Agora, and their border fortress at Rhamnous. The city council also offered dedications to this Aphrodite. There are figures of her engaged in combat with the giant Mimos, and other portrays Aphrodite in a chariot wearing Athena's aegis (although it lacks the gorgon face), along with Poseidon. Hesikhios confirmed this epithet in the sixth century AD saying it applies to Artemis as well. This Aphrodite was also offered sacrifices with Themis and Nemesis, in honor of Aeneas, her son.

Strateia — campaigner

In the Hellenistic period, Aphrodite was called Strateia in western Asia Minor. There is an inscription from Mylasa refers to a priest of Aphrodite Strateia, and a calendar of offerings specifies sacrificing to Aphrodite Strateia along with Arete and Herakles. In Paros and Epiros, strategoi (military generals) are known to have sacrificed to Aphrodite, along with other deities.

Enkheios — spear-bearer

Hesikhios, an author from the 6th century AD, tells us about a terracotta Aphrodite in Cyprus depicted holding a helmet in one hand, a spear, and a shield leaning against one of her legs.

Conclusions

Can we use these aspects of Aphrodite even if they have been exaggerated and weren't actually very much present in ancient cult? Of course. Because worship changes and evolves, if you find one of these epithets symbolic in your life and devotion, you can totally use them and even give them a different dimension. As a witch, for example, I could use the dark and unholy epithets of Aphrodite as a symbol of how witchcraft has been regarded as evil in superstition and a reminder of the persecution women have gone through, and it would be an act of devotion to the Goddess and an act of empowerment. The unpopularity of many of these epithets is also representative of stigma against women and thus using them today could be attested as an act of rebellion.

References

Stephanie L. Boudin, Aphrodite Enoplion

The Other Side of Aphrodite

William Manning, The Double Tradition of Aphrodite’s Birth and her Semitic Origins

Yulia Ustinova, The Supreme Gods of the Bosporan Kingdom: Celestial Aphrodite & the Most High God

Laura McClure, Courtesans at Tables: Gender and Greek Literary Culture in Athenaeus.

John Opsopaus, The Ancient Greek Esoteric Doctrine of the Elements: Water.

Aeon Journal, Aphrodite

I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:

It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.

Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.

1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.

2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?

3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?

4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”

5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.

6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)

the good life essentials: the ultimate guide to getting what you want 💭

for so long i always felt a sense of struggle when it came to my achievements. i could reach my goals but it always felt so hard, and it usually came paired with periods of burn out and malaise. then i found out why: i was often neglecting foundational needs, living in chaos and not taking proper care of myself, and trying to zoom straight to big-picture achievements.

below is my ultimate guide to 'the good life'. the more balance you can achieve in each category, the easier and more pleasurable it becomes to reach your goals. you will still have to stretch yourself and explore beyond your limits... but it should feel relatively nice because you are supported by a nourishing lifestyle.

you deserve a beautiful, healthy, passion-filled life. here's how you get it:

01. your foundation: the essentials

physical health: create nourishing routines for sleep, exercise, and nutrition. your literal energy starts here, so if you’re trying to bring positive energy to your life and achieve success, you need foundational energy.

mental and emotional health: build resilience and develop strategies for coping with pressure and stress. take care of your mental health always, not just when you’re already spinning out.

financial stability: learn to manage your money wisely. budgeting, saving, and debt management are a must.

02. your core: connections + fulfilment

your home: whether you have just a bed, a room, an apartment, or a whole house, create a safe, comforting space to recharge and feel grounded.

strong relationships: surround yourself with supportive and meaningful connections - so much about ourselves is defined by those we are close with so choose wisely.

meaningful work: follow your sense of purpose and find work or projects that bring a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction to your life. remember that it may not always be paid work. if you have no idea, just keep trying things and follow what interests you, while working on the next stage.

03. your growth: personal development

personal growth: invest into self improvement, developing new skills, growing your knowledge and learning as much as possible.

spiritual fulfilment: find purpose, whether through spirituality, self-reflection, or a connection to something bigger.

creativity & self-expression: explore creative outlets and express your true self to find a grounding sense of joy and authenticity.

04. your larger contribution: beyond the self

community & contribution: give back, volunteer, or participate in community initiatives to connect with a greater sense of purpose and life-giving connection.

legacy & impact: define the mark you want to leave on the world, through family, work, or contributions to society. think deeply about what you wish to leave behind and tailor your life to this goal.

05. your enrichment: quality of life enhancers

play & leisure: make time for joy, hobbies, and relaxation for rejuvenation, calm, and passion. if your day to day work isn't your passion, it's so essential to find passion here.

time in nature: regularly connect with the outdoors for grounding and mental clarity.

hi there! i’ve always struggled with being lazy and unproductive. but recently, i decided i want to start being ambitious because i know it will be healthy. but i have no goals to be ambitious for. sure, there’s daily things like exercising more and things, but i don’t have long term goals. i don’t know who i want to be when i grow up or what i want to achieve in life. any tips?

The ambition quest: Mapping out your path to success

Explore your interests: Take the time to try out different activities and hobbies. Whether it's painting, coding, dancing, or even rock climbing, experimenting with various interests can help you discover what truly excites you.

Reflect on your values: Think about the things that truly matter to you. What do you value most in life? Is it creativity, helping others, personal growth, or something else entirely? Identifying your core values can guide you towards meaningful goals.

Dream big, start small: Don't be afraid to dream big and envision the future you desire. Then, break those big aspirations down into smaller, achievable goals. This way, you can make progress step by step while celebrating the small victories along the way.

Embrace trial and error: It's okay to try different paths and make mistakes along the way. Life is a journey of self-discovery, and sometimes we need to explore different avenues to find what truly resonates with us. Embrace the process and learn from every experience.

Seek inspiration: Surround yourself with positive role models and seek inspiration from their journeys. Read biographies, listen to podcasts, or follow influential people in fields that interest you. Their stories can spark ideas and motivate you to pursue your own ambitions.

Visualize your ideal future: Take some time to imagine your ideal life in the future. What does it look like? How do you spend your days? Visualizing your desired future can help you gain clarity and set goals that align with your vision.

Get out of your comfort zone: Growth happens outside of our comfort zones. Challenge yourself to step out of familiar territory and try new things. Pushing your boundaries can lead to incredible personal and professional growth.

Find a mentor or role model: Connect with someone who has achieved success in a field you're interested in. Their guidance and insights can provide valuable direction as you navigate your own path.

Be open to change: Remember that goals and aspirations can evolve over time. Stay open to new opportunities and be willing to adapt your plans as you grow and learn more about yourself.

Enjoy the journey: Embrace the process of self-discovery and goal-setting. Life is all about the ups and downs, the challenges and triumphs. Embrace each step along the way and find joy in the pursuit of your ambitions.

I hope this helps!! xx

Go where you are respected, where you are appreciated, where you are wanted. You gain nothing by sticking it out and swallowing any mistreatment. But by walking away from those experiences you teach yourself that you are worthy of respect, of love, of quality relationships; and you also teach others that when they do not mirror the same level of respect, their access to you is revoked, end of story.

Free yourself of the idea that success means fame, wealth and beauty. It does not.

One of the most toxic things we've managed to do as a generation is indoctrinate ourselves (yes, us. It's us) with the idea that it's only as good as it's being seen. You're only as good as who you're better than. Your blog is only useful when it gets 133k notes. Your pictures are only worthy when you get 400k likes or you delete it. You dropped piano because you can't make a career out of it it's not like you'll beat Elton John. You can write, yes, but you're no Jane Austen so you never post your work and when you do and all it gets is 500 reads and not an entire Fandom like that 13 year old who gets 500m reads for a book that's only good for toxic relationships and the worst sex scenes ever written so you give up. Yeah sure you could make a great singer but man you're no Ariana Grande and only 60 listeners on Spotify (friends and family) is embarrassing so you just don't anymore. Because we've managed to indoctrinate ourselves with the idea idea a thing is only as good as its being seen and we scroll all day on Instagram past 20 year Olds with 30M $ net worth from making tiktok videos and that one guy that plays piano like an actual God but he's from Old Money and will definitely get sponsored into a career and God what's even the point.

Your sign to free yourself from the idea that only massive external validation makes a thing worth it and you validating things makes them worthy, more so than countless people you don't know. Play that piano because you want to. Try for a career and fail and get one for your kids and cat to listen. If you have none play for you. You deserve to listen to those tunes and goddammit start doing things for the mere pleasure of doing them. You like art so you painted. Yes it sucks. No ma'am you are no Da Vinci that's for sure. But it made you happy. It's yours. You see it. You like it. That counts. And screw you if you don't think your own opinion counts. Genuinely. Screw you.

Next time you look at your B- in that subject you stayed up all night studying and there's ms smartkid that doesn't even come to class walking out with a 99 and the only reason it's not 100 is there's always room for improvement take yourself out to brunch and have the time of your life. It's no A but it's yours. And its your best. You're no Gordon Ramsay but that dish, oversalted and burnt, was fun to make so you pour yourself juice into your wine glass and eat it up, savoring every bite and wash it down with milk for the salt. You can't sing and honestly those notes could go unheard but it's YOUR bathroom one thing you'll do is scream Lana del effing Rey. You Paid to get into that club you'll dance .

Free yourself from the human gaze and chronic performance, unlearn the idea that you must be groundbreakingly talented or intelligent to do something or you must be unexplainably beautiful or ridiculously wealthy to be a success. If you're going to be on this planet, paying tax and dealing with unnecessary trauma the least you can do is live for yourself.

Sucess is doing something for the pleasure of it. Everything else is performance. The world is NOT a stage it's a planet you're meant to enjoy life on.

how to focus on yourself

limit your social media usage or delete entirely

if you use social media for work, school, or self-development, this might not work for you but if you use social media for friend updates, stalking your ex, obsessing over other people, etc., then take some time off social media; whether you want to limit yourself to 30 minutes a day for a month or deactivate entirely for a month (or however long you want). sometimes you just need to fall off the face of the earth and not allow for distractions to take your attention off of you.

work inwards and see what needs fixing within you

do you self-sabotage, have a lack of self-control, have a bad temper, or have any other traits that hinder your process of growth and development? spend some time with yourself and get deep. it takes a lot of honesty and self-awareness to even do this step so you might spend weeks trying to figure out your weaknesses. once you figure them out, you research and practice day in and day out the steps to fight/heal what you need to work on.

create a list of standards

have a list of standards for every area + person in your life. what are your must-haves and what are your like-to-haves? when you have a set of standards for everything in your life, you will make time for things that meet your standards and you will not make time for the things that don’t. i’ll be uploading a standards template today that you can print out or follow if you want to be organized and specific.

create daily, weekly, and monthly (short-term) goals and make working on those goals a priority

if you’re working on your goals everyday, you are undoubtedly working on yourself and focusing on yourself. i suggest having no more than 3-5 goals you’re working on at a given time to avoid burnout, but you do what’s best for you. when i fully focus on myself, i literally don’t have the time to do anything else.

get in the mindset of “i deserve” rather than “i want”

when you say you want something, it’s putting you in the mindset of “wishful thinking”. if you say “i deserve” instead, you will operate from a mindset of standards like i talked about earlier and expectation. in return, you will be more motivated to work on what you deserve, rather than wish for what you want.

2023 reset guide

Glow up

2023 vision board. Visualize your dream 2023 and write down your goals!

Daily Hot girl walks. No excuses, babes; let's get moving!

Reflecting on 2022. Look back at what you've accomplished and what you could have done differently.

Make a Bucketlist. Write down places you want to visit and things you want to do.

Extended self-care. Take some time to yourself to recover from the stressful holidays and get back on track. <3

Buy a good SPF. Do some research and find something that works for you!

Start Investing in yourself. Money, time, and energy. Put yourself first!

Annual check-ups. Make a dentist appointment, go to the optometrist etc...

Buy a Silk pillowcase. Protect your skin and hair!

Set clear boundaries. And make sure that people respect them!

Less screen time. Self-explanatory.

Manicure, lash lift, haircut. High maintenance to be low maintenance! ;)

Wellness

Daily vitamins. Visit a doctor to discuss which ones you should be taking for the best results.

Morning stretches. Wake up your body and drink some water!

Skin/hair care. It's time to find products that actually work for you.

Reading more literature. Set yourself a daily reading goal.

Planned grocery lists. Make a grocery list that aligns with your dietary needs and goals to make shopping less stressful. <3

Less coffee. Especially if you struggle with anxiety!!

More greens and protein. Let's give our body what it needs.

Journaling. Truly helps with overthinking!!

8 hours of sleep. Beauty sleep. <3

Cooking for yourself. Such a cute form of daily self-care.

Yoga. Or just any low-impact exercises in general.

Deep cleaning

Organizing your closet. Only keep things that make you feel beautiful.

Budgeting. Check your bank account and plan ahead.

Clean your hairbrushes. Trust me...

Donating clothes. Donate the items that you don't wear anymore.

Clean your make-up brushes. The first step to clear skin!!

Fresh sheets. Wash your pillows too.

Charge your electronics. IPad, Mac, Camera etc...

Get rid of expired make-up and skincare. Step 2 to clear skin, lol.

Declutter stationary. No need to keep dried-out pens.

Delete old emails. I currently have 1840...

Delete unnecessary apps. Anything you don't need.

Clean your camera roll. Making some space for new memories! :)

Cut out toxic people. <3

Mindset

Pretty, smart, kind, and prioritising myself.

Positive affirmations!!

Your daily habits play a huge role in your mood/life. Be mindful, and take care of yourself.

It's okay to outgrow people!!

Decide what kind of life you actually want and start saying no to everything that won't get you there.

"I'm attracting opportunities that align with my dream life."

A girl who will do big things can't let small things bother her.

Honestly, reinvent yourself over and over again until you are satisfied with who you are.

Do you want to be comfortable, or do you want to grow?

"Am I doing this for me, or am I performing for others?"

very high standards. VERY HIGH STANDARDS.

Be obsessed with yourself.

2022 has been such a life-changing year for me, not only personally but also regarding my social media! As I already said on Twitter, I'm incredibly grateful for this little community that has formed this year, and I'm excited for all the things that lay ahead of us! I wish everyone a successful 2023 with many beautiful moments and lots of growth!!

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩

More career tips please!!

You should always be 10 steps ahead.

Translation: Your boss, team, or senior shouldn't have to remind you to complete tasks; ideally, you should have already completed the task and moved on to the next steps by the time they approach you. Being proactive means constantly seeking ways to enhance processes, workflows, and outcomes. Take the example from a few weeks ago when my boss requested a weekly search of specific KPIs for our client companies. After spending three hours searching and analyzing, and realizing the whole process was inefficient, I collaborated with our data team, organized a meeting, and together, we automated the process. Now, it's a seamless task done with just a click every Friday, much to my boss's delight. Similarly, recognizing the growing importance of AI in finance, I researched upcoming AI conferences, discussed them with my boss, and expanded my knowledge in the field. None of these efforts were particularly challenging or even well thought out--I just thought ahead and as a result, life is a whole lot easier for both me and my team.

Your first job is to make your boss's life easier

By optimizing processes and simplifying tasks, you can significantly enhance your boss's daily efficiency and in turn, make them love and appreciate you endlessly. Take proactive steps like volunteering to take notes during meetings, especially with important clients and while you're at it, follow up promptly by sharing a concise list of key takeaways to help your boss keep them top of mind. Be mindful of their time and present updates clearly and succinctly. Highlight any crucial developments and demonstrate your attentiveness by never making them to repeat instructions. Basically, strive to become indispensable through your proactive approach and valuable contributions.

Confidence is key, but so is humility.

The key is to strike a balance between confidence and humility. Overconfidence can lead to arrogance and closed-mindedness, but on the other hand, excessive humility breeds self-doubt and missed opportunities. So here's how you balance the two. You Listen: confident humility allows you to express your ideas assertively while being open to feedback and suggestions from others. You Empathize: you understand the feelings and perspectives of others, creating a supportive and inclusive environment. You Collaborate: Confident humility encourages teamwork and collaboration, leading to innovative solutions and successful outcomes.

You will be judged based on your appearance.

I don't care what anyone says, humans are visual creatures and we we all absolutely judge books by their covers. So if you dress kinda meh every day in the office, then people will see you as a meh kinda employee. If your clothes are always wrinkled people will think you're a messy worker. And if you look incredibly professional and well put together every single day, people will subconsciously view you as a top-notch worker. Moreover, if your job involves interacting with clients or customers, your appearance can influence their perception of the company as a whole. Dressing professionally and putting together a polished appearance in the office is not just about following a set of rules; it’s about presenting yourself and your organization in the best possible light. Your attire is a reflection of your professionalism, respect for the workplace, and consideration for your colleagues and clients. By investing in your professional image, you invest in your own success and contribute positively to the overall work environment.

Lovingly, Elle