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Sorry to break it to you but you literally have to face your fears and slaughter them. Otherwise you will live a small life that you do not want. You literally have to view your biggest fears and attack them head on. You have to fall into the abyss to find your way out. The easy path does not exist. There is no get out of jail free card. You have to allow yourself to die a spiritual death over and over again in order to reinvent yourself into the person you are actually supposed to be. And you have to be painfully honest with yourself and the people around you. It’s horrible but it’s truly the only way.

the it girl’s spring cleaning

phone reset

delete old contacts and messages

go through social media following

delete unused apps

go through photos

set a new wallpaper

add widgets for reminders, weather, battery, etc.

delete old songs and add new ones

environmental reset

clean your bedroom (vacuum, dust, put clothes away, etc.)

sort through and donate old clothes

organize your makeup, skincare, etc.

wash or change your bedsheets

rearrange your bedroom

open your windows and curtains to let fresh air in

get outdoors

clean your home with fresh scented products (lemon, lavender, etc.)

physical reset

try a new workout routine

get some new outfits

do a face mask

exfoliate and shave

oil your hair or do a hair mask

try a new hair color, cut, or style

do your nails or get your nails done

get some fresh makeup and try a new makeup routine

do a lip mask and scrub

mental reset

start journaling or try some new prompts

do a refreshing meditation

try a new yoga practice or workout

read instead of scrolling

put a time limit on your phone usage

reset your sleep schedule

My Self Love & Acceptance Tips🤍

Every day isn’t easy, remember that self love isn’t an overnight thing. It takes time, and work. Be patient with yourself, and go with the flow learning about who you are. Your time will come to flourish and be your best self, every journey goes at a different pace. And remember that self love has a different meaning for everyone, what works for some, may not work for others.

Your Self Image

It all starts with how you view your own self, and value your own worth. Because when you start to love yourself, and value who you are, your whole life changes. Such as the people around you, your mentality, your appearance, your successes, etc. So change the way you think, and talk about yourself into a more positive tone. Avoid doubts, or toxic self talk.

Deep Inner Work.

Shadow work is highly important. We get to know ourselves on a deeper level, and learn about what we need to do to become high vibrational beings. It’s important to work on the deeper layers of our minds, where we hide all unresolved fears, blockages, wounds, and traumas. Shadow work is important for our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

Explore what is holding you back.

Having low self esteem is often the result of false and unrealistic thoughts that are deeply within our minds. Such as assumptions, beliefs, comparisons, doubts, expectations towards ourselves and others. Learn about what is holding you back, and what needs to be done in order to break the bad habits/behaviours. Dissociate yourself from everything, and anyone that brings these emotions forward.

Be comfortable in your own solitude.

Every day make time for yourself to rewind, relax and reflect alone. Being alone gives us time to think, work out problems, reflect on our goals, express gratitude for our gifts and blessings, and helps us listen to ourselves, and what we need. It builds independence. And you’re also less likely to accept bad behaviours from others, because you’re very much aware of who you are and what you want.

Trust your intuition.

Trusting your intuition will help you live a life true to yourself and your deepest needs, being aware of your surroundings, emotions and intentions from others. Be aware of how you’re feeling around certain people, and situations. Take these feelings into consideration, as it’s your subconscious trying to tell you something.

Set boundaries

Setting boundaries is highly important. It shows others how you view yourself, and how they should treat you. Don’t be afraid to say “no” more often, and set boundaries. If something is going to make you unhappy or uncomfortable, say no. If you simply don’t have the energy for something, say no. If you want to say no, say no! And cut ties with those who make your life unecessarily stressful. Think about what your values are, what you believe in and what you’d like out of others. This also applies to yourself, make sure you’re setting limitations on what isn’t good for you from you!

Explore your passions.

What gives you motivation? What fills you with pure joy? When we tend to forget about our needs, and push them to the side, we often lose sight of what truly makes us happy in life. So make time for your hobbies, and passions. Do whatever makes you happy, and awakens your inner child.

Reduce your stress levels.

It’s been proven that stress contributes to so many health issues, so it’s important to learn how to reduce, and deal with it when it happens. You can do so in so many ways by reducing your expectations for yourself, and others, healthy routines, good diet, working on how we view ourselves, and so much more.

Accept your flaws, celebrate your strengths.

We are all imperfectly perfect. Everyone has something that they’re amazing at, and not so good at. It’s normal, it’s human nature. It doesn’t make you any less of a person for having flaws, it’s what makes you uniquely and beautifully you. Instead of focusing too much at what you’re not good at, bring your attention to your strengths and how you can become the best version of yourself.

Stop comparing.

Comparison is a killer to your self esteem. When we invest our time watching what others are doing, and how they look, it’s time wasted that we could invest in ourselves. Spend energy nourishing and building your path. Remove anything that makes it harder for you, whether it’s social media, a friendship with someone, etc. “We don’t grow green grass by focusing on our neighbor’s garden, we do it nurturing our own.”

Stop seeking validation.

The need for approval kills your freedom. Strengthen your self acceptance, so that you feel strong enough to go with what feels right for you, and not what others are saying. Our life was made for us to live however way we think is right, and living for others leads you to a path of pure unhappiness. Figure out why the need of approval from others is so important to you, where does it come from? Is it something that you haven’t healed from? Learn how you can change these habits, and live freely on your own decisions and acceptance.

Create healthy habits/routines.

Start truly caring for yourself. Create habits that are healthy, mentally and emotionally. Be intentional about what you put into your body, not because you want to look good but because you want to feel good. Feeding your body nutrient rich foods will have you feeling your absolute best. Have a self care day once a week. Create more self love + care rituals. Upkeep your beauty maintenance. Dress your best. Work out more often, something as simple as walking every day. Have organized morning and night routines that make life easier for you. Do whatever it is that’s important for your well being, and what will make you feel more confident, and happy.

Own a journal.

Keep a journal to store all your thoughts, emotions, and capture your life journey in writing. It’s a great way to keep yourself in check, and look back at how far you’ve come. Give yourself goals to accomplish, and what you need to do in order to reach them. Create lists about what is great about you, what you need to work on, and what you need to let go of.

Do more of what you’re good at.

Spending more time doing hobbies you're good at will not only boost your endorphins, but will also boost your self esteem. Do more of whatever brings you to your happy place!

Protect your inner peace, vibration and energy.

The less likely you are to react towards others, the more at peace and powerful you’ll be. Teach yourself to be so calm, and safe within yourself. That no one and nothing can take away your peace. Understand that anyone that chooses to be negative towards you without good reasoning, are only projecting their own problems, and insecurities onto you. Remember that our energy will effect how we feel towards ourself, so choose wisely on what you give importance to.

Be more grounded.

Being grounded means you feel at home with yourself. You are present and at peace. You’re less worried about past moments, or the future. You’re more grateful of everything around you. You feel overall happier, and radiant.

to all of my dolls finding themselves:

originality is the "aesthetic" you are looking for. individuality is the "it factor" you are looking for. from your personality, pieces, hair, cadence of voice...even down to your favorite foods or special interests. you aren't supposed to change every aspect about yourself to be more palatable for everyone you meet. that actually makes you BORING!!!

"but so and so is doing this" "but what if people don't like it" ... so??? don't take people disliking your aesthetic as a sign that you need to do something different. like, of course they don't like it or have second thoughts - it's because THEY wouldn't do it themselves because it wouldn't go with THEIR given aesthetic. HELLOO??????

unless they are like minded, stop asking other people to weigh in on the things you CLEARLY like about yourself. especially if it's a core personality trait or interest. your LIFE isn't a group project. your LIFE is not a co-op game.

and yes... people will try to force you to assimilate and follow the crowd by speaking misfortune on your rebrand, your expression, your hobbies, your chosen path out of jealousy. however, that jealousy is lowkey unspoken respect for the fact you have the candor to go against homogeneity.

your authentic dedication to everything that makes you YOU is what will bring you the illustrious life you so fervently seek in the end...not some book a celebrity wrote or a youtube video. it's in YOUR DNA to be a star already in anything you want to do.

there isn't one tutorial on this world wide web that will help you if you don't realize you have the components within you first. there is NOTHING wrong with you!!! you are EVERYTHING that is right already!!!

NEVER conform to the way they think you should shine.

Emotional contamination

You are responsible of your own life. Not other's. No one is REQUIRED to take care of yours, so why do theirs?

Your emotions influence how you live through your day. Either you let them dominate, and pass from one emotion to another (and be.under constant tension&stress), or you let them go when it's time, learn your lessons, and continue on with your day.

If you're careful of how you compartmentalize your day, you'll have overall better days compared to before. Letting go of anger, sadness, jealousy is compartmentalizing.

Constant excercise of this skill makes you better at it, and you'll be able to curate better your own life. Don't despair if you can't let go of things right away. This comes with exercise and previous experience ("I did that, therefore I can do this"). Give yourself grace.

Other's emotions also influence you, your day, and your life. Other's actions are (for most people) projections of their values and their emotions. If they're looking at the world through an angry lens, they're also contaminating you, with their interactions with you. So on for other emotions, positive or negative.

Some people consciously raise up negative emotions in you as a way to get dominion over you. It's sometimes very discreet.

You may be excellent at controlling your own self, your mind, letting go and finding lessons in everything, but all these efforts are doubled, or tripled when you surround yourself with people that just can't do the same as you, because you both have to take care of yourself AND offset their projections onto you.

People: family, ex you keep around, friends, partner. No one is spared in the eye of the glowupper.

That's why I strongly recommend to just snip them off or keep them far away from your inner space.

If you don't have to offset the projections produced by people unable to handle their own, it means you have extra time, mental space and energy to dedicate into other essential endeavours.

Those that are aware of their emotions, know how to take care of them, and protect other's minds from their own when it's gone bad, are rare but you'll notice them right away.

So, maybe it may be painful at first, but it's better being alone than surrounded by miserable people. The perks come later and in unexpected ways. Looks like a bad deal at the moment, but one gotta learn how to think further than the next day.

Other's pains and anger isn't your issue to solve. You aren't their mom. They're not your responsibility.

I am in no way saying that the ideal is to be in plain bliss all the time. Feelings are intrinsically human, but what we can control is how we act about those, and what space they'll occupy in the psyche.

Some people focus on others pains as a way to avoid confronting their own issues, they think "hey, I'm a good person I help others" but the best helpers are those that help themselves first. If you're one of those, this post is specifically pointed for you.

💎

Not too long ago I had an anon ask me how to fake it till she makes it in manifesting her luxury lifestyle. I gave a bit of advice (you should read that before finishing this) but I want to elaborate more on a certain aspect that is crucial to obtaining an ideal life: becoming your ideal self. That ask was focused on lifestyle, but what about the self glow-up? That’s where this guide comes in. I see a lot of guides where the OP tells you the type of woman you should become, and it’s usually based on their own idea of what is desirable. This is different. This is a barebones guide that requires you to think hard about yourself and what would satisfy you to live in your own skin. To no longer wish to be anyone else. To be the best version of YOU. Who is the the ideal woman you are aspiring to be?

Here’s how to start:

BUY the 12 Month Dream Girl Guide Planner here

Step 1: describe your dream girl and create a list of 12 essential qualities/skills she has. Things that are controllable by a person themselves, not reliant on another person or location. (Good: she drinks tea every day. Bad: her boyfriend makes tea for her every day)

Step 2: make a list of how you can acquire those qualities

Step 3: dedicate one quality to each month of the year and for every single day of that month, cultivate habits that will make those qualities now belong to you. 30 days is a great amount of time to build a habit that you can continue on with even after the target date has passed. It’s not too long to feel scary but it’s long enough to make really good progress. Plus you won’t feel overwhelmed about doing all of these new things at once. Just one quality at a time :)

Step 4: after 12 months, you will have dedicated 365 days to your own personal growth and transformation and will now emerge a brand new woman.

To make this even easier on you, I will create an example using a mix of things that are about me.

My dream girl is: a beautiful and fit domestic goddess who speaks multiple foreign languages, plays instruments, is a wiz in the kitchen, and has a killer style

12 qualities to create her:

Takes expert care of her outward appearance

Eats healthy and works out every day

Speaks french

Speaks korean

Speaks spanish

Plays piano

Cooks a proper meal every day

Always dresses well no matter what

Keeps her home spic and span

Manages her emotions well to always be kind and composed to others instead of combative and volatile

Is a minimalist

Studies hard in school

(When you make your list of 12 qualities, don’t worry about making them perfectly correspond to a certain month just yet. First, just get them all written down and then you can rearrange it later. For the sake of this, let’s just pretend that mine are in a perfect order as is)

January: takes expert care of her outward appearance

For January, I will spend 31 days focused on beauty. Every single morning and night I will do my skincare routine, a face mask, use my serums and exfoliants (when necessary), and make sure to apply sunscreen. I will get a skincare consultation if needed, I will schedule a dentist appointment or do at home teeth whitening treatments. I will take a bubble bath once a day and always make sure that I’m exfoliated. I will always make time to shave/wax/epilate/whatever and maintain manicured nails and eyebrows. My hair care will be completely on point because my hair will always be deep conditioned, well moisturized, and styled to perfection.

(Keep a log and make sure to do this every single day. You will now be in the habit of taking care of your external appearance and will be used to looking and feeling a certain way)

February: eats healthy and works out every day

For February, I will find a list of healthy breakfasts, lunches, and dinners and make sure to use them as my eating guide. I will watch my calories and eat foods that nourish my body. I will cut out sugary drinks and extra sweets and do a workout for at least 30 minutes every day. I will watch a lot of content on health and fitness to keep me on track and make sure that I know what I’m doing.

(Keep a log and make sure to do this every single day. You will now be in the habit of making and eating healthy foods, have a 30 day workout streak, and will have a new relationship with your health and fitness. Because you have successfully committed a whole month to this lifestyle, it will be easier to keep it going to reach your body goals)

March: speaks French

For March, I will study french every day for at least an hour. I will watch french movies and tv shows, learn grammar and memorize vocabulary. I will always keep my flashcards on an app and study them frequently so that I don’t forget anything. I will find a french language exchange partner online and talk to them everyday so they can correct my mistakes.

(Keep a log and make sure to do this every day. You will now be in the habit of studying a foreign language for a dedicated amount of time each and every day. This will get you to a strong start and make it much easier for you to continue learning the language as time moves forward)

November: is a minimalist

For November I will focus on living a minimalist lifestyle and being intentional with the items I allow into my space. I will go through my whole house and declutter all of the things that I don’t need. I will not buy things this month unless they are essentials to me and my growth. I will watch/read a lot of content on consumerism and try to understand why I own so many things. I will have a better relationship with my possessions and take better care of the things I own so that I won’t need to keep buying new ones.

(Keep a log and make sure to do this every day. You will form a better relationship with your possessions and learn to let go of unimportant things. This will build the habit of being mindful of the things you allow into your space and allowing you to make better buying choices in the future)

You get the idea. So basically you will elaborate on each of the 12 qualities and make it very clear what your daily goals are for that month. The most important thing is to stick to it. You have to build the habit so that it becomes your new normal. This is how you acquire a new lifestyle and persona. You do it every day until it’s your default setting. You don’t call someone an a good student because they got an A one time, right? You call them a good student because they consistently demonstrate the actions that makes one a good student on a daily basis.

“But 2pretty! How can I stick to these things every day? What if I don’t feel like it sometimes?”

It’s all about discipline and consistency. Having your effort correspond to how badly you want something. Focusing on the big picture and sacrificing a little bit of comfort. Choosing to be your most excellent self rather than the easiness of staying the same. Growth is hard! But that’s what makes it worth it.

You all can sit here and read level up posts until you turn blue in the face but the fact of the matter is, The Ideal You can only emerge if you put in the work to become her. I believe in you.

I can’t wait to meet the new you in 12 months. See ya then.

don't spend all day neglecting the things that matter most in favor of mindless activities. the grades you want, the skills you desire, the job you'd kill for, the body you want, the beauty routine that would change everything, the books you want to read, the life you want to live is so much more important. years will go by and you'll look up, barely being able to remember specific things you wasted time on but you will certainly be able to name everything you missed out on with ease. all that time wasted with nothing to show for it. don't do it to yourself. prioritize the good life you want and never let it play second fiddle to all of the distractions.

one thing i need to start living by is “become the thing that you want” if i want friends who throw themed parties maybe i should start throwing those parties. if i want someone who writes me love letters maybe i should start writing letters for the people i love. if i want to hang out at museums and pretty cafes maybe i should invite my friends to these places. and maybe even then i won’t find the kind of people i want to be around. but then i would have become the exact person i want to be around. and maybe that’s good enough.

Free yourself of the idea that success means fame, wealth and beauty. It does not.

One of the most toxic things we've managed to do as a generation is indoctrinate ourselves (yes, us. It's us) with the idea that it's only as good as it's being seen. You're only as good as who you're better than. Your blog is only useful when it gets 133k notes. Your pictures are only worthy when you get 400k likes or you delete it. You dropped piano because you can't make a career out of it it's not like you'll beat Elton John. You can write, yes, but you're no Jane Austen so you never post your work and when you do and all it gets is 500 reads and not an entire Fandom like that 13 year old who gets 500m reads for a book that's only good for toxic relationships and the worst sex scenes ever written so you give up. Yeah sure you could make a great singer but man you're no Ariana Grande and only 60 listeners on Spotify (friends and family) is embarrassing so you just don't anymore. Because we've managed to indoctrinate ourselves with the idea idea a thing is only as good as its being seen and we scroll all day on Instagram past 20 year Olds with 30M $ net worth from making tiktok videos and that one guy that plays piano like an actual God but he's from Old Money and will definitely get sponsored into a career and God what's even the point.

Your sign to free yourself from the idea that only massive external validation makes a thing worth it and you validating things makes them worthy, more so than countless people you don't know. Play that piano because you want to. Try for a career and fail and get one for your kids and cat to listen. If you have none play for you. You deserve to listen to those tunes and goddammit start doing things for the mere pleasure of doing them. You like art so you painted. Yes it sucks. No ma'am you are no Da Vinci that's for sure. But it made you happy. It's yours. You see it. You like it. That counts. And screw you if you don't think your own opinion counts. Genuinely. Screw you.

Next time you look at your B- in that subject you stayed up all night studying and there's ms smartkid that doesn't even come to class walking out with a 99 and the only reason it's not 100 is there's always room for improvement take yourself out to brunch and have the time of your life. It's no A but it's yours. And its your best. You're no Gordon Ramsay but that dish, oversalted and burnt, was fun to make so you pour yourself juice into your wine glass and eat it up, savoring every bite and wash it down with milk for the salt. You can't sing and honestly those notes could go unheard but it's YOUR bathroom one thing you'll do is scream Lana del effing Rey. You Paid to get into that club you'll dance .

Free yourself from the human gaze and chronic performance, unlearn the idea that you must be groundbreakingly talented or intelligent to do something or you must be unexplainably beautiful or ridiculously wealthy to be a success. If you're going to be on this planet, paying tax and dealing with unnecessary trauma the least you can do is live for yourself.

Sucess is doing something for the pleasure of it. Everything else is performance. The world is NOT a stage it's a planet you're meant to enjoy life on.