How To Avoid Overusing "You" In X-Reader Fiction

I’m a writer and I wanna ask for help! I’ve been writing better lately but I got stuck from my old habits of using too many “you”. I’m an x-reader fic writer and I’m redoing an old fic I’ve made two years ago. I’m actually writing the earliest chapters of my fic and I’m trying to write out the banal scenes of the daily dose of Y/N’s life. So far, I’ve actually improved greatly in my writing skills but I couldn’t help write too many “you”-s when I couldn’t make it detailed for the rest of the scenes.

How to Avoid Overusing "You" in X-Reader Fiction

Hey there! This is a super common problem, which I touched on from another angle in my post How to Avoid Overusing "I" in a First Person Story. Basically, the trick isn’t to eliminate “you” completely (since it’s essential to the style), but to balance sentence structure and vary how scenes are described.

Here are some tips:

1. Remove Filtering

Instead of filtering every observation through “you,” describe things directly:

You hear the coffee pot beep in the kitchen. → The coffee pot beeps in the kitchen.

You see the sky turn gray outside. → Clouds gather, darkening the sky.

2. Balance Action with Description & Inner Thoughts

If every sentence starts with “you,” it can feel repetitive. Mix in setting details, dialogue, and inner monologue to help reposition the "you" to a different part of the sentence:

You open the fridge. You grab a drink. You sit down. → The fridge hums softly. Cold air brushes against your skin as you grab a drink. The chair creaks as you sit.

3. Remove “You” from Inner Thoughts

In second-person, we assume thoughts belong to the reader, so adding the "you" is often unnecessary.

You think to yourself, “This is a terrible idea.” → This is a terrible idea.

Hope this helps!

More Posts from Madarasgirl and Others

2 years ago

Tagged by: @madaraservingcunt and @fennign

I wrote this on almost zero sleep as I was heading to work early in the morning after my brain couldn't stop thinking about 2D men instead of sleeping. Forgive any weirdness to follow.

Relationship status: I've been engaged for quite awhile but didn't get married yet due to COVID. The wedding is now near! This is the reason for the slowdown in posts! 💕

Favorite colours: Navy blue, dark purple, burgundy, blush pink

Song stuck in my head: Amado Mio- Pink Martini

Last song I listened to: Never Enough- Loren Allred

Favorite foods: I like a lot of things, including Peking duck, Russian borscht, sushi, and roasted pig

Last thing I googled: whether there's a difference between drinking and sucking blood in Hellsing (for the purposes of nutrition vs turning a person into vampire/ghoul)

Dream trip: I want to go on a tour around Scotland and Ireland for the whisky distilleries

Anything I want: Don't be a sociopath, but stop spending so much time worrying too much about other people's opinions on the things in your life. They aren't the ones who have to live it. You know what's best for yourself.

Oh and if you think there's something wrong with a relationship, chances are your gut feelings are right. Don't force yourself to stay.

People I wanna know more about (if you feel like sharing): @margretesonigirigiri @pink-and-pearls @faithintheunknowsblog @hoebiirama @rico-hyuuga @itdobethatbitch @aeriischan @tiganna @ange21la @vibeswithgx @phillip-uchiha @petra-kopanja @thirstyforlulu @supaselene


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4 months ago

I give up

I Give Up
2 years ago

whats your biggest inspiration for style when it comes to your writing?

I really want to have the ability to write a variety of things, regardless of the genre. I don’t want to write solely naughty smut, or only romance, or only dark and angsty, or only headcanons. I haven’t done scenarios yet, but I’d like to as well. I like having different things. Variety is the spice of life.

Some sources of inspiration:

My Mood- When in a romantic mood (from music, my fiancé, or anything really), it’s easier to write a budding romance developing. Other times I’m hot and bothered. With the smutty one-shots I wrote so far, my mind literally could not focus on doing anything else until I wrote those out of the way. When in a more somber mood (could be also from music, life, merely thinking about serious topics, etc), the mind wanders to darker places. A darker fic is brewing in the head already. I just have to finish “Twin Flames” before putting myself in that mindset again to write it.

My normal daily life- Bits and pieces of my life show up in my writing, such as with my interests and small in-story details. I’m not sure if by “style,” you’re also asking about my tone, but my tone in response to certain events in my stories is influenced by my daily life. This is especially true for the fanfic “Twin Flames,” since I’m also an ICU nurse irl like the Reader. If I sound sassy, exasperated, or depleted, it’s coming from a very real place. Other times I just sass in my writing because it feels like a good spot to do so.

Madara- hah clearly I think a lot about him. So an interesting thought pops into mind. If I think I have enough of something meaningful to say about that topic, I’ll write it out. Could be a fic. But if it’s a headcanon, I want to make it lighter and more informal in style since a few of them are kind of silly anyways. It’s nice to try and be funny. If it’s more of an analysis-type headcanon, I think I should try to write properly and organize my points more coherently. Those would be more essay style.

Madara also influences my style because I try to keep him true to his character. Even if most of my writing thus far has him involved with an S/O (doesn’t exist in canon), who he acts differently with compared to the average person he encounters, all my portrayals of Madara were still written according to my “Madara Romance Headcanon,” regardless of the type of post he was featured in. I don’t think the way he behaves in my writing is completely unbelievable.

Not really related to writing style, but sometimes I pull references from the canon sources and incorporate those within a piece of writing. I don’t know why, but I feel like doing so just gives the piece some extra ‘oomph.’ And it makes my nerd brain happy if I think other people might spot the references.

I’m not sure if that was an adequate answer, but I hope you like my style 😊


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1 year ago

ideas on what would being in a poly relationship with a werewolf and a vampire be like? 🤫 how possessive and h*rny they are 🤭

(hope u're doing well♥️🪽)

The amount of time you spend getting bitten is ridiculous. The werewolf, to mark you, the Vampire to feed. I hope you like wearing a turtleneck in summer.

Lots of red meat, your vampire lover obtains from solid food for the most part, but they insist you eat it. The high iron will make your blood all the more delicious, and your werewolf partner worked so hard to catch that for you.

The three of you have to share a Kingsize bed. The vampire doesn't really sleep, but it's good for cuddling together. Speaking of cuddling, Please lay on top of your werewolf. Use him like a pillow, use him like a bed he loves having you and the vampire on top of him or on either side hugging him tight.

The big bed is good for things besides sleeping too. The Vampire is a huge voyeur who loves watching you get your shit pounded by a horny werewolf. Sometimes they'll call out to ask you how it feels and laugh when they get a broken moan in response.

That's not to say they don't fuck you. Because they love to have your body, but it's just as nice to sit back and watch while your werewolf fucks you like his life depends on it.

Your werewolf, on the other hand, needs to be touching you. He can think of no worse punishment than having to sit and watch as you get fucked by someone else. But it gets the Vampire off so whatever, he's happy to put on a good show. He gets jealous easily, even with your shared vampiric lover. He's the one eight inches deep in you pay attention to him. He chills out when he's not having sex. He still might growl if he thinks you're paying too much attention to someone else.

1 year ago

I think the ultimate funny thing about yandere alucard being so chill, is that I'm fucking dense. Like I miss social queues like I'm neo played by Forrest Gump. I wouldn't even know he was a yandere, I'd just be like "oh? I can't go places without you, or leave often, alright 🫡" I'd be either a blessing or a nightmare for him and it makes me giggle no matter what

Isn't he hilarious?! Alucard is pretty easygoing in many senses despite being a yandere, you could almost just explain away those qualities/yandere actions of his as being part of his quirkiness. But if he wants something, it's his way or the highway. Won't matter what anyone else thinks or how much drama he'll be stirring up haha.

I think he'd find that endearing about you! He loves all the peculiarities that comes with humans. And it's not like he's the most well-socialized being either. In some aspects, I think he has forgotten what it's like to be human. In other cases, he knows his behaviours are uncalled for, but what anyone else thinks is irrelevant to him and interacting with him (as long as we aren't enemies of Hellsing) would be a blast!


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2 years ago
Light, Pure Light Penetrated Me. The Contrast Put Me Into Haze. I Didn’t Recover My Past Sight, I Increased

Light, pure light penetrated me. The contrast put me into haze. I didn’t recover my past sight, I increased it to a point close to enchantment. I saw the rays of light, in millions different shades of gold caressing her face in shock. When she moved her hands to cover her mouth, it was the most delicate movement I ever witnessed in my life. With a fluidity and a detail the Mangekyou Sharingan could never reached, I saw her gaze watching my previous eye in the sink, the second one on the floor, then coming back to my face. She repeated the same path two times and then she picked up what had happened. Still mesmerizing, I saw her face changing in horror and fainted. I could have catch her before her fall. But the new clarity of my sight left me absolutely stun. Everything was beyond wonder. Why did it never strike me before? Right now, in the bathroom floor she was so beautiful, so beautiful…

Madara Golden Age, Chapter 1 : Prologue


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3 months ago

A Night for Hunting Ch. 26 - A Valuable Lesson

A Night For Hunting Ch. 26 - A Valuable Lesson

CW: Alucard (Ultimate) x F!Reader, hostage, soul bond, unethical experimentation WC: 2007

A short chapter to set up for the longer upcoming ones

On AO3

“Young lass, holding that filthy animal has clouded your mind, though your sacrifice granted me this body. I will not ask you to forgive me.”

“You won't be able to kill him, Butler.”

~To Be Continued~

Ch. 27 - Retribution

A Night For Hunting Ch. 26 - A Valuable Lesson
A Night For Hunting Ch. 26 - A Valuable Lesson
A Night For Hunting Ch. 26 - A Valuable Lesson

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1 year ago

☆ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it's time to spread positivity! <33

Oh wow, thank you Anon! I'm honoured! You don't even know how happy you made me!! Take care! 🥰

2 years ago

Me, except the only Uchiha dick I want is Madara's. I'll take his clones'. Look at his pose. And his expression. What a boss 🥵

screaming crying throwing up ripping my hair out sliding down the wall jumping off a bridge throwing myself off a building -

Screaming Crying Throwing Up Ripping My Hair Out Sliding Down The Wall Jumping Off A Bridge Throwing
Screaming Crying Throwing Up Ripping My Hair Out Sliding Down The Wall Jumping Off A Bridge Throwing

art by mitendakara on twitter


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2 years ago

“Oh my god you’re a writer? Can I read your stuff?”

“Oh My God You’re A Writer? Can I Read Your Stuff?”

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madarasgirl - Lover to Madara & Alucard
Lover to Madara & Alucard

30sF- Headcanons, scenarios, stories. East Asian, Canada

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