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Madara's realistic headcanons

I wasn't sure if people are ready for my realistic headcanons, but finally I just did it. Just in case it's not for everyone.

trigger warning : Involve suicidal thoughts, depression, violence to women and children, panic attack, eroticization of pain, self-hate.

From the time Madara was born Uchiha clan was not anymore a wealthy family. Because of instability, farmers fled combat zone, The lands they owned had become wilderness. Yet they kept their prestige among population and their children still received an education similar to noble family.

He suffered from malnutrition in his childhood, and starved himself to give food to his brothers but thanks to his good stamina it didn't really affect his physical abilities during his youth.

His hair cut, short in front and longer in the back is a result of heavy use of katon which literally burning his locks. But it's part of his charm.

He wore gloves for the same reason, fire makes his skin getting softer and sensitive.

He always has this slightly burning smell on him and all his clothes. It doesn't matter the number of shower or washing machines.

His long mane was not originally for aesthetic purpose, but just carelessness, then an excuse to hide his face and emotions, and finally his trade mark. People were wondering how strong or/and crazy he was to keep such long hair while it was not suitable during a fight. it can be set on fire, wedge in his armour, catch by an opponent...

He was almost blind up to Izuna's death. He expanded greatly his sensorial skills because he needed to rely on it daily.

His insomnia came from overthinking and fear of failure. He rarely sleeps more than 3 hours per night, He occasionally does micro nap (10 min max) during the day.

During his insomnia phases, and if the moon is full to avoid using candles, he read a lot of ancient philosophy, history, military strategy from Uchihas library.

He never married, never had a serious relationship. He had romantic view on someone now and then, but he never pursued it actively. Wars, fear of loosing again someone dear. Plus, he was convinced that his life as shinobi will be short, out of question to leave behind him widow and orphans.

This being said, let's be honest a man with such level of testosterone won't stay virgin all his life. And it's a common knowledge next to any military camp there is always prostitutes. He did his business in total discretion, to the point his clan questioned his orientation. He was a loyal client but cold and distant, ruthless during act, even after years of visiting the same persons.

Like many shinobis, he occasionally was subject of panic attacks. When he felt the symptoms coming, palpitations, pain in his chest ect... he always found a way to isolate himself. His triggers were always fear of loosing people he loves, fear of loosing control of himself, fear of not reaching his objectives. He hated himself when it happens.

He can be very rude and harsh to people. But what he said to others is half as hard he criticise himself daily.

90% of his schedule out of missions or fights were training. His dedication is obsessional.

10% left, during days of celebration, he is pretty good at calligraphy and writing haiku. Because he's a shinobi, he is specialized in death poems that warriors write before going to an important battle. But he burns them as soon as he comes back home. Doesn't want anyone to know about his poetic side at least when he's still alive.

After so many years of receiving punches, his tolerance to pain was extremely high which could be a problem sometimes, while fighting and high by adrenaline he often didn't realise how serious were his wounds.

Considering the number of battles he has been involved his body is covered with scars more or less ugly. And I'm sorry to say it, but I'm sure his face has not been preserved intact. He was kind of reckless during fight and didn't care about his physical appearance.

Paradoxically while he genuinely want to cease war, he find an erotic attraction in fight to death. Like people attracts to extreme sport, he feels the more alive when risking his own.

The reason why there is almost no uchihas kunoichi is practical. They want to preserve their bloodline and a female dead in battlefield is a loss for the future of the clan since they don't married outside their clan. Men would in rare situation when there is no women available but never female uchihas.

They have a practice close to what did Rajput warrior caste in India called Jauhâr , if enemies attack uchihas basement and battle is definitely lost, women of honour are expected to do self-immolation with their children rather than being kidnap, rape or put into slavery.

Like Naruto /Sasuke fight, the valley of the End left him with irreversible wounds, like chronic pains. And probably as well for Hashirama too maybe a slow down to his regenerative cells.

After the valley of the end, it was symbolically the death of his previous life as an uchiha. But he partially lived in his cave. He might occasionally travel undercover to look for informations, and food. It's only after Hashirama's death. He entirely took an ascetic lifestyle, denied of any pleasure, reduce to minimal for surviving. There was nothing anymore who could attached him from this physical world aside his plan. He let the white zetsus doing the main job as spy.

Without Gedo statute he would probably have die before his 40 of general exhaustion. There is always a price to pay when someone burns with such feral intensity his vital energy, submit himself to extreme training since childhood, fighting, lack of sleep, stress, depression. (Itachi can talk about it !)

During his fifty years retreat in the cave when he was not studying for his Moon plan spend 50% of the time within his genjutsu, rewatching endlessly the same memories with Izuna, Hashirama, deceased people he missed from Uchiha clan. And the older he gets, the longer he spend into his illusion. Kind of like an opium addiction.

Mentally he stops ageing at the time Izuna died, around 25. Exactly the appearance he looks when he put Obito into his illusion.

After decades of not seeing Rinnegan appearing he was almost in the verge of giving up the plan of the moon. Black Zetsu was paradoxically the one who save his life many time and put him back in track.

He is not the type to consciously commit suicide, but rather putting himself in suicidal situations like attacking alone an army or neglecting his health. In the cave, he put himself so deeply into his genjutsu that many time he forgot to control his chakra and if black zetsu didn't wake him up he would had just die inside his dream.

And if you want to read more about my Madara's analysis follow me in my main page here

Fandom is a fantastic thing and it’s made my life better but it’s so hard to explain to Regular people what happened to my brain this past year like “there’s this old man…from a tv show….and i think he’s sexy….other ppl think he’s sexy too…..we are friends bc we like to sexualiZe him….” is not the kinda icebreaker you can say in social situations generally.

Madara's Off Label Sharingan Use HC

We've seen Madara's incredible finesse with the Sharingan in battle, but his specific set of eyes possessing eternal light are so handy even in normal life. Things he would probably do for/with you:

Help you sleep. It never fails, even when all your other sleep medications have. Too bad he doesn't help himself sleep more

Defend against nightmares. He'd ensure your mind is instead safely swaddled in pleasant dreams if he knows you were having a bad one

Of course he brings his Sharingan for more intimate times. He has extremely clear vision and perception in the bedroom, all the better to see and take in all of you. Maybe he’d cast some light genjutsu to enhance your experience

Not sure if he can see in complete darkness, but pretty sure he can see better in the dark than you. And he can still see your chakra even if he can’t see everything else. He likes to play in the dark sometimes. How you get when he can see/sense you, but you can’t see anything except the glowing fire in his eyes, excites him as he takes you repeatedly

Memorize endearing moments with you

Copy your movements when you touch yourself and bring yourself off so he can do it just as well as you. Madara is good at everything he does, so once he figures out your good spots, he'll touch you better than you do yourself

We don't see his Mangekyou ability in the manga or anime (because he was already so strong Kishimoto couldn't defeat him without bringing in an alien woman), but Madara's Mangekyou ability in the game Ultimate Ninja Storm was to record an event and rewind time for a few seconds...talk about OP. If he's a pervert, and I believe this touch-starved man is certainly horny with his S/O, he can rewind his orgasm with you and have another one, then spam this to get his rocks off multiple times using his Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan. If he wanted, he could do that for himself too when he touches himself. Anyone with prudish parents who think excessive masturbation causes blindness clearly never heard of Uchiha Madara

I think one big reason why we don't consider the stars as important as before (not even pop-astrology anymore cares about the stars or the sky on itself, just the signs deprived of context) is because of light pollution.

For most of human history the sky looked between 1-3, 4 at most. And then all of a sudden with electrification it was gone (I'm lucky if I get 6 in my small city). The first time I saw the Milky Way fully as a kid was a spiritual experience, I was almost scared on how BRIGHT it was, it felt like someone was looking back at me. You don't get that at all with modern light pollution.

When most people talk about stargazing nowadays they think about watching about a couple of bright dots. The stars are really, really not like that. The unpolluted night sky is a festival of fireworks. There is nothing like it.

Me, except the only Uchiha dick I want is Madara's. I'll take his clones'. Look at his pose. And his expression. What a boss 🥵

screaming crying throwing up ripping my hair out sliding down the wall jumping off a bridge throwing myself off a building -

art by mitendakara on twitter

“I suppose we can keep it…”

More HellsingDoggos. I can’t stop.

A million thanks to my awesome sis @opellisms for holding my hand through the very scary thing called “animating”!

Today's episode was incredibly good! To be honest, fanfics with more than 3 chapters always made me boring so I only read oneshots or headcanons of my favorite characters.... until months ago I found your serie on AO3, I had never read such a good fanfic, from the first chapter of your series completely hooked me, I always wait for it to be updated and every time you upload a chapter I am going to read it quickly, your work is incredible!

hellsing ultimate is my favorite anime it just has everything I'm obsessed with, Sexy fucking vampires? of course, issues of religion and specifically Catholicism? That's right, some completely deranged Nazis? fuck yeah, I love that your fanfic does not soften all those interesting themes that the anime itself has, I hope I can reach the end of this incredible series, by the way you said that you studied the themes of the Second World War for almost an hour, what do you think about it? So do you find it interesting or are you just studying it for the series? Sorry for sending this question with so much text, I got too excited!

Omg omg! Sorry for the late reply. I had to sit on this ask for a few days to figure out how to respond to such a heartfelt love letter 💖. Thank you for these kind words. You would never know how much the encouragement helps 🥰. You might have made my entire week! I umm...love being asked about my writing. It's kind of an embarrassing confession. *virtual hugs and kisses*

I am so glad you're enjoying this story! Nothing makes me happier than to know that I was partially responsible for changing someone's mind on something! As much as I enjoy headcanons and shorts too, imo nothing is quite as satisfying as sticking with a character through their trials and tribulations in a long fic and getting immersed in their journey ^^

Yes Hellsing Ultimate has many of the things I enjoy in a show too! I love when shows don't shirk from the darker aspects of the world and now that Alucard and his Reader have a good foundational relationship, I think it's time to remind the audience of what Hellsing is about. Didn't want to sugarcoat how messed up the world and its characters really are. I am glad you don't think I botched the delivery.

The last time I actually studied WWII was in high school, so well over a decade ago. That was through the lens of the Allied victors and I only remember so much of the details. I think many things about that period, but the strongest feeling is how utterly dismal war is, how much needless suffering it causes.

For the latest chapter (Ch. 20), the vast majority of time researching was spent on finding certain details on Nazi units and which ones were responsible for certain actions as I was trying to decide on the next setting for this arc, the location of one of Millennium's bases. This one isn't in Brazil. This story is only canon-related, not canon-compliant. Here was some stuff going on in my head in the background for this fic. It was probably excessive, but I wanted a place that is: - postcard beautiful - isolated, but not too much so (or the logistics of resupplying themselves would be difficult) - an island (easier for the local authorities to pass strange phenomena off as freak incidences when pressured by Millennium) -lots of wilderness, for the isolation, but also training purposes - lots of caves/hidden ways for escape -the site of a Nazi massacre, so relevance to Nazis -sort of on the way in Dracula's historic seafaring route through the Mediterranean to England

Then I spent some time trying to figure out the logistics of zeppelin and ship travel from this place to others, whether this place has any other features, mythological history and/or appearances in popular culture that are interesting. I spent time reading about the local population and regional politics of that time for my interest.

In the end, there were a few islands I was trying to choose between, none of them were perfect. The biggest issue was that it was the Wehrmacht branch of the Nazis that were responsible for the atrocities and not the Waffen SS, but I was already at my wits' end trying to spin the story in a way that'll work and would rather start writing. I think it should work out though.

I'm no expert on anything historical. I hope I don't disappoint! It's nerve-wracking now that we're onto canon events! 😱 Don't apologize, I love your excitement and interest in this fic!!!! 🤩🤩🤩😘

Vlad by Naranbaatar Ganbold

Happy Birthday Madara! Although this is more like a gift for us