Self Love Letter

I truly believe that humans are born with confidence and then we lose it somewhere along the way. Through judgements, comparisons, being laughed at, etc. If we look at babies for example, I mean it sure takes a certain amount of confidence and courage to learn to walk among everyone else who can walk. Yet falling doesn't really bother them. They get up and try again and again.👶🏻🙈💫

And so one thing I have learnt when it comes to having confidence in oneself is through self-trust. But how can you trust yourself when you're constantly doubting yourself? 🤯😤🥺

And one way to build self-trust is by keeping the promises you made to yourself. If you told yourself you'll do something then go do it. And by compounding those kept promises, you become confident in yourself cause you know- you'll always show up no matter what. It may be messy, overwhelming, scary but you showed up for yourself. You trusted yourself enough to do something. And that's confidence.✨😃

Last night I came across a video on Instagram of this women who had decided to quit her job as a lawyer to be a barista. Which was a choice she was actually happy about. And so one day on the job one of her customers happened to be her ex - colleague who went on to ask : "do you work here now?" 👀

And she explained how in that moment she felt so ashamed and started thinking of ways to explain her situation in a way her ex-colleague could understand. Why she decided to work there and how happy that choice made her etc etc. 👣🗣️🙅‍♀️

*So this had me thinking about the courage it takes to go against the grain. The courage it takes to choose and take the path that feels true to you. The courage to be open to the criticism you will receive from people who might not understand you. The courage to choose authenticity every single time. It's not for the weak and if you're on this path, you have my respect. You owe it to yourself to see where this road will lead you.* ☘️🛣️

It's been a minute. So last week was my 24th birthday and I was doing some reflecting and I thought to share three lessons I've come to learn during the past year:

Lesson 1: Having a someone to talk to.

I have come to realise how it is so important to have someone to communicate with especially when you are going through a difficult time. This could be a friend, relative, mentor. Like just someone you can trust. Yes they may be able to offer you a listening ear which may lighten your burden but they can also help you shift your perspective on how you might be viewing a particular situation. Together you might be able to come up with different solutions to dealing with the situation in a way that doesn't feel overwhelming.

Doing this not only helps you through the tough times but it also helps deepen the relationship you have with that person.

Sometimes people do want to help and you might not know how they feel but you deciding to tell them also means you trust them. And there is no better feeling that being trusted by someone.

Lesson 2: Letting people go with honesty

There are times in your friendships where things are just stagnant and you're only keeping in touch because you once attended the same school or university together. Or maybe one of you moved to a different area and you no longer meet as frequently and as time goes on the communication and connection fizzles out. You know you were really great friends but things just aren't the same and in some way you are outgrowing each other.

I've come to realise that in such situations it is better to let that person go. Of course, this is not about ghosting them and hoping they get the message but by also being truthful with them and telling them how you really feel. For me the honest truth was letting them know that friendship has reached it's end, the journey was beautiful and I'll forever cherish the beautiful memories we shared together but stagnancy isn't helping anyone.

This might feel very uncomfortable but it's necessary not only for you but for the other person too. By letting each other go, you are making space for more aligned friendships to come through.

_Something I learnt the past week:_ 🌱

We all experience feelings of inferiority at one point or another. Be it through comparison to others or our ideal self. Of course these feelings aren't a bad thing if you use them to catapult you into being a better person. 💯👌🚀

However when you start identifying with those feelings i.e adopting an inferiority complex, that's when they hinder you from growing cause now you use your flaws as a reason for not being able to grow.

E.g using the feeling of not being educated enough as a sign to learn more in order to grow and be qualified enough to he successful RATHER THAN feeling like you'll never be successful because you are not as educated as everyone around you. Constantly sulking and complaining about it without taking any action on being better.💫🦋

_Book reference: The Courage to be Disliked_

Ever been in one of those situations where everyone around you knows their dream or passion or what they want to do with their lives except you? Yeah, I've been there and at most times when I was asked what I wanted to be, at 13 I had said journalist because because I liked writing. I liked writing children's stories but saying that just sounded cringe so I opted for something formal like journalism. Then at 15, I had said being an accountant because my teacher had suggested so since I was good at it. And so when I got to uni I registered for accounting. Then one year in I decided to change my major to information systems since it seemed more bearable than accounting. Fast forward to 2021 I no longer liked or enjoyed Information systems. Call it burnout or depression but continuing that path got so heavy to the point where my body even pained.

And so after graduation I had decided to take a "gap year". That's what I told my parents it was but deep down I had no idea what I was doing anymore or what I was gonna do. So for the rest of 2022 I would just chill at home and read books - fiction and nonfiction alike. Something to pass time until one day I started asking myself questions as to what I am even doing here on Earth.

Which led to searching on purpose, passions, dreams, spirituality etc. And somewhere along the journey I might have found my passion. Something that excites me, something I really enjoy learning about. And that something has to do with self growth, personal development, health & wellness. The more I learn about it, the more I wanna know. Would I say this is my dream? To be honest, I don't know but it's something I'm currently passionate about right now and I thought I could share what I find interesting about it and how it has helped me get out of a rut. So yeah, that's kinda the point of this blog. #purpose #passion #lost #health&wellness #firstpost

Jeff Foster says : "In reality, your world is set up so that nothing happens to you, but everything happens for you - for your awakening, for your growth, for your inspiration, for your exploration - even if you forget that, or sometimes cannot see it, or sometimes fall into distraction and despair.

When there is no fixed destination, you cannot ever lose your destination, so you cannot ever lose your path, so nothing that happens in your life can take you off your path. Your path IS what happens, and what happens IS your path. There is no other.

Everything is a gift on this unbreakable path that you call your life - the laughter, the tears, the times of great sorrow, the experiences of profound loss, the pain, the confusion, the times you believe you'll never make it, even the overwhelming heartbreak of love - even if you forget that sometimes, or cannot see that sometimes, or lose faith absolutely in the entire show sometimes.

But even the loss of faith in the show is part of the show, and even the scene where 'something goes wrong' is not indicative of the show going wrong, and so you are always exactly where you need to be, believe it or not, even if you are not.

Life can be trusted absolutely, even when trust seems a million light-years away, and life cannot go wrong, for all is life, and life is all. Understand this, know it in your heart, and spirituality is profoundly simple, as simple as breathing, as natural as gazing up at the stars at night and falling into silent wonder. The universe is more beautiful than you could ever imagine."

Someone said that being depressed is your avatar telling you that it is tired of the character that you want it to play. And in my experience this was true. ☘️🏵️

Deep down I knew that the path I was heading on was no longer for me yet I kept on pushing. Why?

Because that was the path that society deemed acceptable, that was the path that felt safe & comfortable (until it was no longer comfortable), because that was the path that made the most logical sense and because that was the path where no one would judge me for doing the "wrong" thing. ❌

But the more I kept on pushing, the more I felt into this hole of emptiness. Until I came to the realisation that something was wrong and something had to change. 🙍‍♀️

As I was going through that phase of depression, I wasn't exactly sure as to what I was doing wrong but I just knew I had to stop and take a break from everything. 🔔🔔

Looking back in retrospect, I can see how I was trying so hard to hide parts of myself to fit in with others and that came at a painful cost. The sooner you remove the mask, the more relieved you'll feel. You may end up fighting with your family or losing people you knew as your closest friends but in the long run, you get to show up as who you are rather than who you think you should be. 🥳🤗🌸

Lately I've been wondering about what to work towards for 2025 and I came to the realisation that we are always doing this - working towards a future goal to attain something, to have more or to be a better version of ourselves.

And i started asking myself - "does it ever end?"

When does all this striving eventually stop. When do we finally come to a point where we decide that enough is enough. Does it not get tiring, always living for a future outcome. Are we ever going to be content with what we have?

Yes, the world is changing and yes we have to prepare ourselves but to what point?

Because if we are going to be honest with ourselves, it's no longer about happiness. We've just gotten to a point where it's about feeding our emptiness because all that striving is surely not going to make us happy because we would've already been happy by now.

But also this concept we call happiness doesn't seem to last forever, so how about we choose to be content. And im sure happiness will come find us every once in a while.

What does peace feel like?

- Peace feels like spending hours and hours just gazing at the clouds passing by.

- Peace feels like that warm heat that permeates your clothes while you are enjoying the sunshine

- Peace feels like being held and supported by Mother Earth while you're tending to your garden plants.

- Peace feels like being in your flow while you're writing that funny but beautiful poem

- Peace feels like being full of nostalgia while reminiscing about your past friendships and adventures

- Peace feels like that right sour taste of grapefruit going down your throat

- Peace feels like watching birds painting themselves on a blank canvas that is the sky

- Peace feels like being in a quiet house whilst listening to the dogs barking outside

- Peace feels like going to bed late on a Friday night knowing there's no need to wake up early tomorrow

- Peace feels like being happy at any moment because all your needs are met

- Peace feels like home