Aziraphale: Now Tell Me, Who Was Responsible For The Black Plague?

yall i just found the funniest thing on the harry potter wiki

Article

Person A & B: *reading an article together *

Person A: “ lgbt people were proved to have a shorter life than straight people”

Person A & B: *look at each other*

Person A:*dead inside* perfect

Person B: NO-

Soulmate Au #2 Everytime you fall asleep while your soulmate isn’t, you can see what they see, but you can’t control what they are doing.

What if you go to sleep and your soulmate writes stories so they’re always up late. So you just watch as they write for hours, watching every little word appear on the screen.

What if your soulmate loves to paint pictures, or do graffiti with only red paint, like they only ever use red paint. So you decide to take an early nap too see what store they go to in order to buy that shade of red, and it turns out they are a murder.

What if you watch as your soulmate leaves little notes and just stares at them so you can read them, like little, “where ever you are, I love you.” notes?

What if your soulmate is your best friend, and at a sleep over you fall asleep first you you just see in thier vision as they draw dicks on your forehead.

What if your soulmate is being held captive so you use your resources to figure out where they are.

What if your soulmates dead and you just fall asleep and see that your in a coffin. Unmoving.

What if your soulmate writes little notes for you and you do the same and you have little conversations via notes and one day you fall asleep and you see that your in a hospital, flatlining.

Model au: plushie tiger was named Atsushi The Second. Yes it was Dazai idea. Btw can you imagine if Atsushi and Dazai woul end in a session together where they have pose as a cute couple?

*cough*

my heart is a toddler throwing a tantrum in a store and my brain is the parent continuing to shop 

Resident Evil Hollywood!AU (from a chinese fic here)

please ignore the terrible, terrible headline thingies on the magazine cover I have no idea how to do this

let’s go on a date and by date I mean lay in bed and make out for 3 hours

HINAMI WANTED TO COVER HER EARS WHEN SHE HEARD THE SLAUGHTER BUT STOPPED HERSELF BECAUSE THE SOUNDS WILL TELL HER IF AYATO IS OKAY

*experiences romance once* augh… my delicate constitution… *develops consumptive fever and falls into a coma*