Let’s Go On A Date And By Date I Mean Lay In Bed And Make Out For 3 Hours

D A Z A I

Sorry, but I can’t help but drop our KDA-cosplay-performance off here. If you aren’t Russian it’ll be difficult to understand… but there are a lot of local memes XD Yes, I’m (Akali) cosplayer too. ____ Простите, но я не могу не закинуть сюда наше выступление с косплеем КДА. Если вы не русские, то понять будет сложно… но тут много локальных мемов хд Да, я еще и (Акали) косплеер. 

Elsa…

Me: Duuuude, vampire stories suck it’s pure bullshit n drama jesusss OMG

Also me, after seeing a vampire!au fanfic:

When you meet someone who has died inside because of a show as much as you

tell me one good reason why kojima couldn’t put britney spears in this game

Yeah, Baby Yoda is Cute and all but have you seen Will Graham being reunited with his dogs?

I was talking to a kid in my daughter’s class today, and she said that she thought it would be fun to write a story about the Titanic, but with supernatural creatures.

So I said, “Yeah, that would great! What would the creatures do? Would they save the Titanic from sinking?”

And she gave me the most disgusted look. I have never seen a 9 year old face look so appalled.

“No,” she said, speaking very clearly so as to never be so grossly misunderstood again, “they’re going to eat the passengers.”

God I hope she lets me read it.

im making friends with the netflix customer service guy

Thinkin’ about how as a kid I was afraid to sleep alone in my room bc I thought a ghost lived in my closet so every night I’d wake up and move into my parents room to sleep on the itchy wool rug on the floor. It was a bit under their bed and I wanted to lie on it perfectly so I’d also be a bit under the bed.

But I Also loved to eat ice cubes so while I was up in the dead of the night anyway I’d go grab an ice cube from the freezer.

And then I’d sneak into their room and lie down and start crunching on my ice cube, and without fail my dad would wake up and be like “are you REALLY eating ICE in here at 3 AM , AGAIN”

Then I’d swallow the whole ice cube really fast.

Anyway any time I think I’m ready for kids I think about losing sleep every night because there’s an 80 pound sentient creature halfway under my bed just. Eating ice