Tell Me You Said No.

We drifted here, in the lack-of-light, passing no-time. But we would feel it from so far away... your noisy, boiling universe. We want to travel there, to play your vicious games and win.

Wild Blue Yonder

Oh, I love this! And somehow "They always build a snowman when it snows" is the sweetest little detail of them all.

So what if

Jesus decides he’d rather drink in the pub with Crowley instead of judging anyone.

Zombies get too busy dancing in Michael Jackson’s thriller and so find their new purpose that makes them happy.

God doesn’t even know what’s going on, too busy having dumbass fights with Satan.

Aziraphale comes back to Earth because he gets fired, Crowley wants to know why, and Aziraphale pretends it’s because he tried to thwart the big plan, but actually, it’s because he spent all his time drawing Crowley instead of doing boring paperwork. They also found him with his mouth full of cake.

Crowley knows. He laughs inside.

Metatron tries to start Armageddon but literally nobody is interested because they were invited to Beelzebub&Gabriel wedding and the preparations make Angels and Demons busy.

Aziraphale and Crowley are too busy bidding on a cottage. They don’t tell each other. So they’re bidding on the same one. So when Aziraphale wins he has to sell all the buildings he owns in Soho because Crowley bid so high, and Aziraphale failed to give up, that the cottage was sold for 10 times what it was worth.

Crowley bursts out laughing when Aziraphale takes him to see the surprise. When he explains he was the other bidder, they finally promise each other to not hide things from each other again.

They go to Beelzebub&Gabriel wedding. Angels and Demons dance together. Nobody cares. Everyone is happy. Metatron sits in the corner.

Crowley is there for alcohol. Aziraphale is there for cake. They finally recreate their dance.

Aziraphale watches Crowley who’s tipsy enough to start dancing with Beelzebub. Demons can dance. Crowley is really hot.

They take a walk outside to cool down, for different reasons, and when they sit by the lake, stars shining above them, Aziraphale pops the question.

Crowley grins. He says of course. Not in a bloody church though.

Not in a church, they agree.

God and Satan and Jesus are invited to their wedding. They get absolutely shitfaced. It’s the funniest and most loveable wedding the world has ever seen.

Honeymoon in Alpha Centauri. Also Maldives. Also everywhere where they’ve met over the 6 thousand years. This time not needing to hide or worry or pretend.

They celebrate everything.

They renovate their cottage and Aziraphale discovers Crowley is very DIY and he doesn’t mind at all seeing him dirty and sweaty without a T-shirt. Sometimes he breaks things on purpose.

Crowley knows.

Bentley has her garage. She’s very happy.

The cottage is yellow. Of course.

Christmas Tree has a star on top of it.

Their garden wins all the village awards.

Their baking is talked about by everyone.

Aziraphale has a huge library at home and he doesn’t need to worry about anyone taking his books anymore.

Crowley has plants all over the house and he doesn’t need to scream at them anymore because they’re growing beautifully from the pure love and happiness at home.

He takes care of the garden and Bentley. He buys another car and works on it as his hobby.

They join car shows.

They know all little cafes and restaurants everywhere.

Aziraphale writes his own novel. It’s really good. Crowley just ensures it definitely is talked about everywhere.

They visit Soho whenever they feel like shopping.

They always build a snowman when it snows.

And they spend evenings either on a date, on holiday, or in front of the cracking fire, within comfortable blankets and pillows, drinking, snacking, reading, watching movies and their favourite tv shows.

Everything is perfect.

Me: Fuck, David aged like fine wine, he looks so hot now

Twitter weirdos: He looks old now

Me: …… you all too young to appreciate men anyway

woke: the nazis recognized crowley because he was working for british counterintelligence 

also woke: crowley didn’t actually know exactly when and where aziraphale’s book deal was going down, he just had a vague idea, so he’d been busting into churches at random for about the past month and a half, hopping around on his burning feet, and each time he did it he Loudly announced his entrance like “here comes anthony j. crowley to save the day!” because he had a whole plan, he was gonna be so suave, but it was never aziraphale, and he ended up interrupting several other clandestine nazi meetings so that word got around in nazi circles of anthony j. crowley, the weird hopping church guy, and then when he finally did happen upon aziraphale’s deal, he was just so incredibly happy to see his angel that he completely forgot his smooth introduction, but the nazis recognized him as the weird hopping church guy so they did it for him.

can we all just take a minute to say how fucking BRAVE CROWLEY WAS 😭

Something I noticed in the confession is that they don't REALLY respond to what the other is saying

Crowley says "run away with me" and Aziraphale says "come with me to heaven"

Both are saying "be with me" but neither stops to figure out why the other wouldn't want to go

Crowley says "you can't leave this bookshop" and Aziraphale says "nothing lasts forever"

Crowley thinks he ended it.

Aziraphale says "we can make a difference" and Crowley says "good luck"

Both are leaving. Neither stayed until they could agree, or at least understand each other

Aziraphale says "I need you" and Crowley says "no nightingales"

Aziraphale thinks he ended it.

Aziraphale says "I forgive you" and Crowley says "don't bother"

That's the one that sticks.

I do think people are forgetting, sometimes willingly, that Aziraphale is JUST as heartbroken over the rejection as Crowley

They did not walk out of there with Crowley destroyed and Aziraphale bummed but getting over it once he was in the elevator. Aziraphale went to Crowley all giddy and excited because he really thought this was finally it, this was finally their chance to be happy, and he sees it as Crowley taking that chance and stomping on it. H wasn’t lying when he said he needed Crowley, he DOES, and now he thinks Crowley chose his hate for heaven over his love for him just as Crowley thinks Aziraphale chose his devotion to god over his devotion to him

It wasn’t as simple as “Aziraphale rejected Crowley” they both think the other rejected them it was essentially the messiest mutual break up you’ve ever seen

They’re both completely heartbroken and do not see the part they played in their own heartbreak. Both thinking THE OTHER caused it. It’s such a mess. It’s SUCH a mess I cannot STAND these two

Can you tell me why aziraphel said ‘I forgive you’ ?

I wish I could tell you, anon 😔 I've seen a few speculations on it, all of which I found interesting and valid.

I guess my opinion is that Aziraphale defaults to a forgiveness response whenever Crowley offers (tempts him with) something that competes with his duty to Heaven - or the Goodness he still thinks Heaven is capable of, maybe.

Off the top of my head, Aziraphale 'forgives' Crowley at the bandstand the first time he says fuck the ineffable plan actually, let's just go. Then again during their argument in the street the second time Crowley suggests (begs) going off together, just the two of them. And now we have this third time, when yet again Crowley has placed himself as a mutually exclusive option to Heaven.

I think there's something to it being a personal temptation. As in, a selfish one. In the Job flashback we saw Aziraphale let Crowley 'tempt' him into lying to Heaven. He was utterly convinced he'd fall as consequence, but he accepted that because his actions had been for the sake of Job and his family.

Whereas these choices Crowley is asking him to make aren't selfless at all, they're very personal. It's asking that Aziraphale choose Crowley himself over Heaven. Ultimately, Aziraphale lets Crowley tempt him on all sorts of inconsequential matters like food and other indulgences - but not this. Not once. And whenever he feels Crowley is trying (whether Crowley intends it that way or not) it's the only thing he regards as a real trespass or offence. So he forgives him, which is the only possible option if he wants to keep his most precious friendship.

Except this time Crowley says don't bother, because Aziraphale has chosen Heaven over him one too many times 😕

I hope that's a coherent response, I mostly worked out my feelings on the subject as I was writing!

Such a Gallifreyan stance.

Heaven planned to do a Rassilon on... well, on everyone and everything.

A revelation of a design for me!

Could do without a posy at the belt, though.

1920 c. Cotton day dress with blue stitched design. From Rococo Vintage, Etsy.