Genderisareligion666

What is this phenomenon of watching someone's IG story every single time it updates while not responding to their direct questions in SMS lol I want off this ghetto ass internet (*wistfully thinks of starting a Xanga blog in like 2004 or w/e* *Adele voice* We could've had it alllllllllll)

wingull becomes exponentially better when you remove the wings

we need to stop being so desperate about finding aliens. we need to play hard to get, pretend like we couldn’t care less. watch them come rushing into our atmosphere

beautiful women are blocking me on tumblr dot com

craving that mineral with mama

i'm pregnant... with the next great American novel! [looks directly at you, suddenly serious] and I'm getting an abortion

tunblr roll call! reblog if your in the following fandoms:

-suffering -the pain of living

if it sucks hit da bricks <- litany against sunk cost

take it easy but take it <- litany against burnout/apathy cycle

fuck it we ball <- litany against perfectionism

now say something beautiful and true <- litany against irony poisoning

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters