Does Anyone Have The Faggot Crisis In The Grocery Store Tweet I Need It For My Health And Wellness

Lets be a snowdrift with mama

It's so weird to me when people are like 'but that will cost the government money!' So what? They're the government, they're supposed to be spending money. What, you want them to take your tax dollars and then do nothing with it? Lock it all up in a big government vault and just look at it? Why are you so scared of giving a third grader lunch or a homeless person a house.

gouache friends

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

✴️Fish dreams✴️

What are you even supposed to eat for dinner

Once upon a time there was a girl whose wicked stepmother forced her to clean the entire house for Pesach all by herself. So while her stepmother and stepsisters left early for the grand seder at the Prince's palace, the girl spent the afternoon sweeping and dusting and washing and polishing. As she finally burned the last crumbs of chametz in the fireplace, she saw the sun setting and knew she would never make it to the Prince's seder on time, so she began to prepare her own meager dinner: a little Passover pizza. But miraculously, her fairy godmother appeared and transformed the pizza into a flying carpet to take her to the palace, and the cheese into a beautiful dress for her to wear. And to commemorate this story, to this very day, that cheese is named after that girl: they called her Matzah-rella.

hey asshole! you lifted up the rock and now I have to scuttle! motherfucker!