🚨Don't Ignore 🚨

Bruce: *under the Batmobile, doing repairs*

Bruce: Can you hand me the 9mm?

Jason: *hands Bruce a 9mm pistol*

Bruce: *takes it, looks at it, and hands it back*

Bruce: I meant a ratchet.

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $599.99

Fanfic idea- Blind Yokai au!

Prompt: Atsushi is a human who “see’s” in a very unique way, which attracts the worst weirdo’s.

Note: This idea is a mix of my previous yokai au but heavily inspired by @Octagava ’s Foxglove au.

Also discussed with @Venelona! =w=

Actual idea: 

So inspired by @octagava’s idea of a blind Atsushi I decided to put my own little twist on it. 

Starting with Atsushi. 

He is blind just like in the foxglove au and is able to “see” yokai but not in the way you think.

He was born knowing nothing but darkness and learning about the world through harsh voices and violent hands. It doesn’t help that the people from his village always ostracized him either for being “useless”.

So yea Atsushi just always believed that he was completely blind.

But then he meets a yokai for the first time and wow okay so not “completely” blind. 

To be specific Atsushi can only see a yokai’s aura, the energy in a yokai. 

For Atsushi he see’s the shape of the Yokai’s body just in one bright color which changes shade and intensity depending on the Yokai’s mood.

Essentially Atsushi is a living Yokai detector with the added bonus of being able to read their emotions/moods if he spends enough time with them. 

But Atsushi doesn’t really care about that, the first time he see’s a yokai is the first time actually “seeing” something in the world, the first time he has an idea of color, the first time he can actually see the shape of a person.

It’s amazing, stunning, and he absolutely cannot look away from the yokai in front of him.

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Anyways this is where it mixes up with my original yokai au in that yokai typically demand tributes of some kind.  So Atsushi will be the blind sacrifice since ya know the villagers are horrible and think that by giving a “defective human” they can get away with basically no payment at all (cause ya know people are terrible).

I have three routes where this can go for DazAtsu, ChuuAtsu, and Dazatsuya. 

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DazAtsu route

So huge thing in this au is that Dazai  (a nine tailed fox (kitsune) is a huge asshole in the beginning.

Like port mafia 15 year old  level shit head.

The man is bitter since he can’t really kill himself (curse his stupidly strong yokai body) so he’s exploring other ways to spend his long life. 

He finds himself usually bored with humans and yokai so he tries to entertain himself by either annoying the crap out of them or being outright cruel with torurting/killing them.  

So when a village decides to sacrifice an apparently a very pretty but blind human he decides to join in on the cruelty. 

He helps to let the human escape only to hunt the blind human through a forest, because he finds the human’s struggles for life amusing.

But when he’s finally got the blind human cornered he’s curious, Atsushi’s eyes have been firmly shut. Dazai being the sadistic bastard he is wants to see their color and the way the light leaves them as he goes in for the kill (cause ya know he’s envious at not being able to die). 

So he forces Atsushi to open his eyes, and oh, oh this is curious, Violet and gold? 

Gorgeous. 

It almost seems like the human actually see him. 

Oh he is.  

He’s starting at Dazai like he’s the only thing in the world (Which is true Atsushi is currently experiencing a blind man’s euphoria of seeing something for the first time).

 And it’s interesting! This little human is so adorable like this! 

The way Atsushi can’t stop looking at him as if he’s the only light in the darkness. He’s so curious, how come the human see’s only him? 

And the way he see’s Dazai is interesting, the human can apparently see his body but the way he describes him is unique. 

(Atsushi perceives Dazai as the color blue which fluctuates from dark to light. So the closest thing that Atsushi would compare it to would be water going from icy, cold, luke warm, and boiling.)

It intrigues Dazai to the point of wanting to keep this adorable little human. Both because it breaks the tedium of his life and because when Atsushi actually starts to relax he’s hilariously sassy! He talks back, has interesting conversations, and never fails to give him an interesting perspective on how he see’s the world. 

Fascinating.

I can imagine Dazai at first bringing Atsushi to see other yokai. Cause ya know he wants to test if Atsushi can see other yokai and learn what he see’s. 

It’s here where Dazai learns that Atsushi can literally see a yokai’s emotions, and their forms regardless of any sort of magic that can be used to hide them which of course makes his little human that much more valuable. 

It’s a fun and kinda neat thing to brag about to the other yokai, that is until he realizes that Atsushi loves experiencing “new colors” and looks absolutely adorable to other yokai as well.

Then he becomes a clingy possessive little guy that does not want to share his human.

But its too late at this point now Atsushi wants to see as many other yokai as well and Dazai can’t really deny him anything anymore.

Dazai the cruel Kitsune is smitten with his little human. =w=

————————————————————

ChuuAtsu- route

Now Chuuya doesn’t exactly have the best reputation. He’s known for being an incredibly violent yokai that would feed both humans and yokai if they offended him.

(This was a misconception though, yes he would eat other yokai and humans but only if they challenged him to a battle first. As far as Chuuya is concerned you play stupid games you win stupid prizes, and he’s not gonna waste food if he can help it.)

 So to try and avoid a possible rampage from the Oni the villagers decided to be proactive and send him a tribute/sacrifice.

AKA: The useless blind human that every one hates, because ya know fuck anyone that doesn’t fit the status quo. 

They capture Atsushi, tie him up, and make him look as pretty/appealing as possible before dumping his ass on Chuuya’s doorstep with the village chief yelling praises and giving a struggling Atsushi away. 

Now of course Chuuya is feeling a lot of things. On one hand he’s happy that he’s getting a tribute, because of course he’s a powerful yokai who protects a lot of valuable territory. 

But on the other hand who the hell are these humans and why the fuck are they giving him a clearly hurt and weak human that was very obviously kidnapped. 

So of course this annoys the crap outta him so he scares off the village chieftain and goes over to see the wiggling human in the pagoda. 

What he see’s inside does make him curious. Granted the human is incredibly pretty with their pale skin and silver/black hair, but otherwise he isn’t much to look at. The guy has clearly been beaten and is much too skinny to be healthy. 

They talk for a bit because Chuuya is curious, the human “Atsushi” didn’t open his eyes once.

Honestly Chuuya would’ve been offended if Atsushi did not explain that he could not see anything and that keeping his eyes closed made it easier for him to hear and make his way around. 

(Again this pissed Chuuya off cause what the hell is he supposed to do with a blind human? He’s honestly so tempted to just dust the village chief for being a dumbass and trying to pull one over on him).

Chuuya is ready to just release the human and drop him off near a different village. 

(He’s rather amused by how snarky the human is in his responses and how “excited” he is to go back to other humans. The pretty human has some bite and he can respect that.)

That is until Chuuya demands to see Atsushi’s eyes (because of course he wants to see the pretty human’s eyes before he releases him back into the wild, he’s bored and blind eyes might be interesting to see).

But then Atsushi opens his eyes and both of them are surprised. 

Because Chuuya is enamored by large Twighlight eyes that look at him like he’s a bright moon in a dark starless night. 

And Atsushi is just as confused but more amazed at the bright red creature in front of him, the color reminding Atsushi of a warm campfire during a cold winter. 

Atsushi explains that he doesn’t know what the hell is happening but he doesn’t want it to stop, while Chuuya starts to get curious. 

Perhaps the human chief wasn’t such an idiot after all? 

This leads to Chuuya taking Atsushi to different Yokai to test it out and where he learns that his little human can only see yokai. This has a lot of benefits since this makes Atsushi rather immune to yokai trickery, and with enough time can allow him to learn how to read the emotions of yokai around him.

So not only did Chuuya gain an incredibly entertaining/beautiful human but also a living yokai detector that can help him with literally see through Dazai's bullshit.

Chuuya spoils Atsushi a lot after this cause his human acts a lot like an abandoned puppy, just a sweet little thing that loves to be around him. 

( For reference when Atsushi see’s Chuuya he see’s red would describe/compare him to heat. Like a fire something very active and would give Atsushi warm feelings. But his color would deepen/lighten depending on the intensity or "warmth". Like if its lighter then it'll feel like the sun's rays (happy) or if its darker then its more uncomfortable like putting his hand too close to a fire (rage).)

I can just imagine Chuuya literally carrying a blind Atsushi on his back while going into Dazai’s territory.

Chuuya: Okay Atsushi I want you to keep your eyes out, the bastard can be quick and ruthless so he’ll probably try to take me by surprise. 

Atsushi: Is he the big soft looking thing 20ft east of us? He looks like he’s carrying something…..maybe a bucket?

Chuuya: ………..I’m gonna make you so much Chazuke later!  

He smirks as he is able to catch Dazai by surprise for once. 

Chuuya: Best human ever!

——————————————————————————

And finally we have Dazatsusya route which is a mix between the two!

It starts off with the  Chuuya route, in that he meets Atsushi first and basically decides to keep him. 

So he tries his best to take care of his new pet/friend/crush by making sure he regains his strength and heals.

(Honestly Chuuya is kinda charmed by how sweet and independent Atsushi tries to be, it reminds him of an abandoned puppy that just wants to be praised. This in turn makes Chuuya want to spoil him.)

Now here is the thing, Chuuya has a bit of a history with “pets”. 

Namely that history is that Chuuya takes in a hurt animal and gets attached but then an annoying fox asshole usually comes in and kills his “pet” for fun. 

Honestly Dazai just kills the pet and then makes fun of Chuuya for adopting thing that’ll die in the blink of an eye anyways. 

 Chuuya has tried for centuries to get the asshole back for it but the fox is as tricky as he is annoying. 

Anyways everything changes when he gets Atsushi so Chuuya pulls all the stops so he can protect his previous and delicate blind human from that asshole of a fox. 

He becomes so cautious that he moves to a different cave just to make sure Atsushi is safe and for a while it seems to work! 

Chuuya is just ecstatic and enjoys pampering his touch starved, sassy, and delicate little human.

He enjoys Atsushi’s personality and finds it endearing that he tries to be useful to the oni even though he insists that he doesn’t need too. 

Meanwhile Atsushi enjoys Chuuya’s companionship, he loves being able to see Chuuya’s moods shift and how he tries to help Atsushi foster his own independence while in their little cave home. 

Their relationship grows and at some point they start to really love each other. 

Anyways Chuuya decides to go out one day and plans to be gone just for an hour or two to get Atsushi some new soft pelts and flowers so he can be more comfortable (cause ya know blind person, he loves dressing up Atsushi in nice clothing but his human prefers to smell flowers and touch soft fluffy textures even though he tries to hide it). 

But then Chuuya comes back home not only to find his home ransacked and without Atsushi but that it also smells like that stupid fox!

So yea Chuuya just grabs his spiked club and begins to hunt for Atsushi and is completely ready to finally kill that damn fox if he did anything to hurt his human! 

Meanwhile with Atsushi and Dazai: 

Dazai and Atsushi’s experience is basically the same as the Dazatsuya except Dazai is just invested as soon as he see’s Atsushi look at him awe while in Chuuya’s cave.

He becomes curious of the little blind human and adores how he can’t seem to look away from him.

So he steals him from Chuuya and decides to try the whole “owning a pet” thing that he constantly makes fun of Chuuya for. 

Of course Atsushi is understandably stressed out and keeps trying to get away from Dazai at first. 

Because for the first few days Dazai still acts like a sadistic ass and says cruel things to him. 

But then he starts figuring out Dazai’s emotions and realizes that he actually acts differently from the way he feels. At some point Atsushi just views Dazai as a needy attention starved cat and Dazai likes basking in the human’s deadpan stare and head pats.

And Dazai is delighted! It’s so entertaining to be able to talk to someone who cannot only see through his lies and bullshit but also has the guts to call him out on it. 

Plus his dear little blind human just knows the best places to scratch his ears, brush his fur, and oh goodness the adorable way he tries to escape but then pouts in defeat within his tails when he fails is just precious!

It takes Chuuya at minimum a week before he finds Atsushi and Dazai. 

I imaging Chuuya just busting through a door in a shabby little hut to see Dazai cuddling around a sleepy Atsushi who then smirks at 

Chuuya. 

Dazai: "I gotta give it to you Slug, maybe the whole pet thing is not as stupid as you made it look. This one would be such a waste on you though~" 

Chuuya growls and points his spiked club at the kitsune. 

Chuuya: “Oh shove it you overgrown wash towel! Now give me back Atsushi before I make fox tail soup outta ya!” 

Atsushi who perks up at Chuuya’s voice smiles and tries to get out of his lap only to be stopped by fluffy tails. 

Atsushi: Dazai-San let me go. 

Atsushi tries to wiggle out of Dazai’s lap, which makes the fox pout and hold him tighter. 

Dazai: Nope! You’re my human now, the slug can get a new one. 

Atsushi: Dazai-San I keep telling you, you can’t just kidnap a person and expect them to be okay with it. I want to go home. 

Dazai: And I told you that’s dumb and that the slug doesn’t deserve you.

Atsushi: And I keep telling you it’s not about “deserving” anything. I have my own free will!”

Atsushi continues to try and move but that just makes Dazai growl into his neck which puts Chuuya on edge cause the fox’s teeth are too close to the human’s delicate neck. 

Chuuya: Dazai! 

Atsushi just rolls his eyes though 

Atsushi: Fine you leave me no choice. Atsushi then pinches one of Dazai’s fluffy ears which makes the fox recoil and complain when Atsushi finally gets out of his lap. 

Dazai: Atsushi that’s not fair!~ 

Atsushi just smiles innocently and pets the fox’s head. 

Atsushi: You keep telling me that all is fair in love and war~ Anyways you are welcome to come visit me whenever you feel like it but please be more gentle about it next time. 

Atsushi smiles then turns and walks to Chuuya. 

Atsushi: Shall we go home? 

Chuuya smirks Chuuya: Sounds good though I would prefer you don’t invite that mangy kidnapping fox.

Dazai pouts but walks behind them. 

Dazai: And I would prefer if my human would stop being unreasonable and stayed with me instead of a pipsqueak of an oni, but we can’t always get what we want.

Chuuya growls before glaring at the fox: Oh fuck off you flea bitten mongrel! If you claim Atsushi as your human one more time I’ll shove my club so far up your ass I’ll make a kitsune kabob! 

Dazai just snorts before smirking: So crass~ ***MY HUMAN*** deserves better then such a fowl tempered midget of an oni~ Maybe if I’ll be able to convince him if I took him for a longer time, maybe in the mountains?

Chuuya growls and actually swings at a smirking Dazai who dodges.

Chuuya: Don’t you fucking dare! Atsushi’s mine you deranged fox!

Meanwhile Atsushi just huffs annoyed waiting for the two to stop because my goodness he just wants to get home. 

Basically Chuuya and Dazai keep bickering but Atsushi acts as the tiebreaker/peacekeeper who is constantly tired (and sometimes) amused by their shit. 

But in the end Atsushi loves his oni and fox even when he want’s to smack them upside the head for their childishness. 

= w =

NEW CHARACTER ALERT — UEDA AKINARI &

Bungou Stray Dogs - chapter 123

Akutagawa:

Happy birthday, Atsushi!

me impatiently to the little french cat boiling me in a stew: chat am I cooked

Aku after Atsushi comes back and the fight has "ended", immediately runs over to Atsushi to make he sure he's okay. And they meet eachother with a hug.

Atsushi: omg omg....I am back! I am alive!

Akutagawa: omg...you are back...you are okay

*squeezing eachother aggressively*

Atsushi: I thought I was dead...you were dead

Akutagawa: we are fine...we are fine...

*Atsushi pulls away*

Atsushi: wait, we are enemies! We are supposed to be on opposite sides not THIS!!!

Akutagawa, sighs: Weretiger, I didn't ask them to return you the ADA but to ME

Atsushi: oh...oh..

*meanwhile*

Aya: you aren't gonna stop this?

Fyodor: all these years I have learnt how important reunions can be.

Aya: so you're sentimental

Fyodor: ah to be young...

Chuuya and Atsushi play fighting but Akutagawa or Dazai thinks it's real and attacks Chuuya to protect Atsushi.

Atsushi says to him "We're just play fighting I don't need your protection"

And sends him to a corner so Akutagawa or Dazai slinks off sadly because he just wanted to protect him.

happy birthday, Atsushi 💕