One Must Imagine Sisyphus Grinding His Penis On The Rock, Moaning Wantonly

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING (2001)

Sometimes I forget that most Aftg fans are adults and not absolute losers

the year is 2043. william shatner, 112, is grabbing his aide's hand, begging her to get closer, his hold unexpectedly strong

"when kirk and spock had sex kirk was always the top. he never took it up the ass" he says, before immediately flatlining

Hmm. Much to think about…

uinen’s human form

I have a hilarious year of the trees take: Maedhros and Fingon are together (romantically) and Celegorm and Aredhel are completely platonic, but everyone thinks it's the other way around (namely Feanor and Fingolfin)

Like Celegorm is getting CONSTANTLY lectured by his dad and all of society for his relationship with Aredhel, whereas Maedhros is off fucking Fingon by a waterfall somewhere and everyone's like "Oh theyre such good friends :)"

Celegorm would be PISSED. He just wants to go camping with his homegirl (and for her to join the hunters of Orome) but all the parents are trying to tear them apart cause they think they're fucking. Whereas Maedhros and Fingon are giggling together at court, writing each other the sappiest love poems, and dance together at every social gathering and no one suspects a THING.

Bonus points if all of the cousins are in on it, and none of the Feanor/Fingolfin/Finarfin generation ever figures it out.

Sins of a father

Day two of @feanorianweek

"getting laid" is very hot and sexy. "getting off"? great news as well. so you would think "getting laid off" would be wonderful news for your penis. but alas

MCCOY: It's hard to believe that a man could die of loneliness. KIRK: Not when you've sat in that room.

Kirk is remembering the feeling of the brainwiper. He is starting to spiral. He looks over at Spock, and the "cold, emotionless" Spock looks genuinely concerned.

I'm here. I see you. How can I help you? What do you need?

But just that one gentle, loving, concerned look from Spock, is enough to make Kirk feel safe again. He starts acting normal again. He smiles, ever so slightly. He gives an order.

KIRK: Take us out of orbit, Mister Spock. Ahead warp factor one.

This time, the supposedly "emotionless" Spock, literally smiles, ever so slightly, back at Kirk. He does that little lip-pursing thing he does when he's trying really hard not to smile for real.

Why is Kirk giving the order to Spock? That's an order for the helmsman. It's almost as if, to Kirk, Spock is the only other person in the room.

And the flirty, sparkly bedroom eyes Spock makes during "Warp factor one"?

Come on, let's gay flirt our way out of this place. I'll help you forget the tortures of this planet ever existed. We're together. All is right with the galaxy.

SPOCK: Acknowledged, Captain. Warp factor one.

(gifs)

A List of Very Convincing Reasons why Elrond Peredhel Cannot become Noldor High King after Gil-Galad, written by Dnorle Lehderep

He's like Finwe's great great great grandson; that's clearly too many generations away.

Also he's technically a Feanorian and they're like, super cursed and also dispossessed so maybe he shouldn't be in the line of succession.

No one can agree on whether his claim comes from the Nolofinwean or Feanorian lines. Clearly the best solution to this is for him to not be king.

Galadriel is right there.

He turns into a bird sometimes and everyone knows that birds can't be elf-kings that would be silly.

Yes, he does have one of the three rings "for elvish kings" but Cirdan also has one of those, and he's not an elvish king, so frankly it doesn't matter.

Gil-Galad's will, which states that Elrond inherits the crown, was clearly forged. I will not explain how. Trust me on this one.

C'mon guys he's not even technically an elf. Yes Melian was a queen over elves without being an elf. Yes Dior was a half-elf elf king. I don't see what that has to do with anything.

Do we really need a king?? Apparently some edain are experimenting with a new system called "democracy" and fraknly that sounds a lot better and cooler than having another king.

We'd have to get the crown resized again and that would be a lot of work.

He wears his hair partially down. In public. If that's not scandalous I don't konw what is.

I know his followers keep talking about how great of a leader he is, but they're mostly Feanorians, so clearly that doesn't count.

Galadriel. Is. Right. There.

He probably doesn't even speak Quenya. Don't ask anyone at court to confirm this.

He's very busy revolutionizing the field of medicine in Rivendell right now, please leave me him alone.

Clearly he doesn't wear enough jewelry to be a proper Noldor king.