Hmm. Much to think about…
the year is 2043. william shatner, 112, is grabbing his aide's hand, begging her to get closer, his hold unexpectedly strong
"when kirk and spock had sex kirk was always the top. he never took it up the ass" he says, before immediately flatlining
I have a hilarious year of the trees take: Maedhros and Fingon are together (romantically) and Celegorm and Aredhel are completely platonic, but everyone thinks it's the other way around (namely Feanor and Fingolfin)
Like Celegorm is getting CONSTANTLY lectured by his dad and all of society for his relationship with Aredhel, whereas Maedhros is off fucking Fingon by a waterfall somewhere and everyone's like "Oh theyre such good friends :)"
Celegorm would be PISSED. He just wants to go camping with his homegirl (and for her to join the hunters of Orome) but all the parents are trying to tear them apart cause they think they're fucking. Whereas Maedhros and Fingon are giggling together at court, writing each other the sappiest love poems, and dance together at every social gathering and no one suspects a THING.
Bonus points if all of the cousins are in on it, and none of the Feanor/Fingolfin/Finarfin generation ever figures it out.
nothign wrong with me that an orgasm a glass of orange juice another orgasm tweleve hours of sleep another orgasm a fuckload of pasta another orgasm a hot bath anothe roorgasm a bullet to the head another orgasm taking up smoking anpther orgasm a large alcolgic beveerage and aother orgams wont fix
Sometimes I forget that most Aftg fans are adults and not absolute losers
Listen, I understand the whole Figwit phenomenon but my question as someone who joined the fandom relatively late is this: did you guys have the same energy for this guy at Aragorn’s Coronation? Or did everyone, like me, just assume this was proto-Glorfindel?
I think of this guy like. Once a day. He is my Roman Empire. Who is he meant to be? Why does he look like the Giga-chad meme? Is it meant to be Glorfindel? Because only if he is Glorfindel would the amount of sheer fucking BALLS this guy has make sense. Why balls?
Imagine you are at an event where your liege lord is publicly losing his daughter. A loss he has, in this filmic universe, spent years moping about and sulking over. And what’s more, at said event you’re standing close enough to him that your assholes are roommates. He’s basically turning fifty shades of elf-colour, sweating, shaking, throwing up, screaming and crying, a manifestation of the clenched fist Arthur meme and you’re standing close enough to smell the tears. And you just stand there looking like a smug little fucker for no reason whatsoever.
Like look at the man. The balls he must have. If Elrond turned around it would have been game fucking over. He would have been Celebrim-wedding-bannered in two seconds. His hair mismatches his brows so badly that I even think he may have dyed them on purpose to match Elrond for peak trolling levels. This is Glorfindel to me. I don’t care who he’s meant to be. He is Glorfindel. Nobody aside from the reincarnation of the guy who saved your dad’s toddler ass from a Balrog would ever get away with standing at what to you is your daughter’s advance state funeral and just grinning away like:
What they don’t tell you about speaking multiple languages is that your brain does not in fact have a box labeled Spanish and another one labeled German. Instead it has a box labeled “Not English” and sometimes when you’re talking or writing in one of the languages you speak it will just start pulling random words from that box.
he/she/they | pakeha kiwi | Tolkien nerd + misc fandoms
70 posts