i forgot i had tumblr for a hot sec im so sorry😭😭😭🫠 heres some domestic middle aged ghoap for your troubles🤲
oh and a bonus too!!!!
(ill try to be more active here) ((key word: try😭))
i made an abomination
I feel so many people forget how genuinely isolating being trans is and going to college all at the same time. As a Transgender man (FTM) it's socially a cesspool. People singling me out, assholes finding out I'm trans and it spreading like wildfire. Despite the fact I've been medically transitioning for nearly a year now, come within 3 months. It doesn't make it any easier, let alone finding a job or housing. Dorms often won't get back to me or even answer my emails or calls after they find out I'm trans. Or the fact it's become ridiculous coming out at each new work place. Finding affordable housing and a job where I don't constantly feel the need to re-out myself because people can't stay civil is crushing. I'm in a near constant loop of me being trans impacting my every moment in life. Either from bullying, people spreading rumors; or even housing and jobs being unwilling to deal with my personal matters or working around my schedule as a full time college student.
A little bit of sambucky doodles I drew probably a month ago but didn't post for some reason
i guess it's scary to me when white leftists say that the punk scene is the scene where you wanna go if you're trans or a person of color or a drug addict or someone else who's been kicked down in life. cuz like, if you've lived in this scene, is it really where you wanna send people?
i got involved in my local punk scene and the problem is that people aren't actually focused on looking out for each other. punk is heavily white. punk is heavily abled. punk is heavily cis. i know everyone says "real" punk is this and that, but the problem is: i live in a punk house venue. i live in a house where punks throw punk rock shows weekly and invite other punks into our home to throw music and art shows. the DIY scene is a mess. it's full of abusers. it's full of enablers. it's full of queerphobes and tranny chasers. it's full of people who collect vulnerable traumatized people. it's full of people who will hand beers to recovering alcoholics and pass lines to recovering addicts.
this scene is full of people who scribble "this machine kills fascists" on every object they own and turn around and cower and say "I'm scared, can you come pick me up, there's some scary guys outside." because some black dudes listening to some rap posted up outside of the punk show. this scene is full of virtue signaling assholes who put antisemitic symbols on their "battle vests". this scene is full of half-assed "communists" who just want to brag about the big scary words they learned like "praxis" and "proletariat" and "bourgeoisie".
this scene is full of fake socialists who won't lift a finger to help each other, but will drag each other into hell instead.
the problem with punk as we know it is that it's whitewashed to hell and back, and the spaces created by these individuals are not centered around safety, but violence. yeah, you kill fascists, but do you provide meals for the hungry, shelter for the homeless, and harm reduction for the addicted? do you pass out extra blankets and clothes? do you help people get to the hospital? do you pat someone on the back when they turn down that beer? do you remember to not offer a baggie to the person who just got out of recovery?
no? then you aren't a safe person to be around, and you ain't punk. you are the reason this scene is unsafe.
Ong thats Bobby bro says nothing but is deeply loved
Shoutout to the one headmate who never fronts or says anything. You're still very loved ❤️
The fact I've felt deeply alone as a trans man who acts "oddly" is hard to deal with. I'm just another dude, but suddenly I'm not queer enough because my hair isn't dyed! But I'm suddenly to feminine because I paint my nails. It's like I don't fit in anywhere in the queer community!!! Every queer space I've ever been in has always excluded me as a transman because I'm not enough to them! It's beyond frustrating to have to explain my every breath to people, especially other queer people who should understand!!!! I've recently been trying to come to terms that I may be bisexual and so many people have been telling me as a transman I either have to be straight or gay, that suddenly me being trans means I can't be queer in another way. It's depressing. I shouldn't have to even label myself if I don't want to! But I'm not enough of a man to others apparently!??! Even when I enter queer spaces I'm excluded and often ignored because I'm the only transman around for miles!!!!!
trans men & mascs are constantly in a damned if you, damned if you don't state of being when it comes to finding community with other queer folk. if we dress "too masculine" and pass for cis men, we are too threatening, we "scare" the women and (feminine) nonbinary folks. if we are "too feminine" and have long hair, wear makeup, have ""feminine"" hobbies, dress in feminine clothing, etc. we are constantly harassed for not being "Real men" and people literally proudly misgender us.
there's no way to win if people keep shifting the goalposts on purpose so they don't have to accept that trans men exist and are just as varied and complex as anyone else when it comes to identity and presentation.
So horrifically down bad for Arcade Gannon. Like yes sir call me stupid 🙏🙏🙏🙏 would bark if he asked.
it sometimes sucks being considered smart while also being neurodivergent. they've set up such high expectations for me and when i inevitably can't reach them because of the fact my brain literally works differently they get disappointed.
[Gripping the sink with shaking hands]
Needing help from other people is okay
Needing help from other people is okay
Needing help from other people is okay
Needing help from other people is okay