More Prof Raphael Wips For The Havers

“Arguing as foreplay?” - Daniel Molloy

“I’m not cut out for the life you’re offering me.”

-Katya Michailov (to Sofia)

Just write the script and direct the movie, because this right here is amazing

“Artemis Fowl” would be such an amazing movie? Like it starts off with a voice over going all…

How does one describe Artemis Fowl? Various psychiatrists have tried and failed… 

And we see a rich boy wearing an expensive suit sitting by fire… we can’t see his face–just his back with that fancy Victorian chair of his. And he’s staring at his piles of GOLD. The voice over continues…

There is no doubt that Artemis is a child prodigy.  But why does someone of such brilliance dedicate himself to criminal activities? 

The boy stands up but we still can’t see his face. He walks towards the screen and the cam backs away and then suddenly the boy is trying to close the door. 

This is a question that can be answered by only one person.

And then the view goes upward and we finally see his pale face and he’s smiling deviously with his finger on his lips as if to say “Hush.”

And he delights in not talking.

The boy closes the door entirely and then it shows “Artemis Fowl” in friggin GOLD because that’s what the movie is all about. G O L D. And then it gives the audience the chills.

Yes the iPhone thing took me out of the story so much 😭

Not Marius being a watch guy™ and stealing a Patek Philippe from a victim

possibly the most pathetically on-brand thing for him to be

HEY that's MY emotional support morally ambiguous misunderstood full of trauma touch starved yearning for love drenched in blood responsible for numerous atrocities comfort character who is TRYING & u will TREAT them with RESPECT

please let my man Everard survive this book he is way too funny to die

“He was not going to confess that all he knew of them he'd learned from the vampire chronicles, and that he’d been practicing his skills, if that’s what they were, based on the descriptions written by disreputable vampire authors like Lestat de Lioncourt and Marius de Romanus and so forth and so on.”

Armand recreating Amadeo in the penthouse

The ending had me in tears...

Goncharov (1973) my beloved

Artemis in DC Comics AU

Artemis getting a visit from the Justice League because seriously how the hell did you hack the watchtower!!??

Artemis becoming the Teen Titans go-to intelligence guy when it gets out of their league 

Artemis being so smug over having superpowered humans ask for help 

Butler realizing Bruce Wayne is Batman because his uncle taught Bruce that technique dammit 

Alfred and Butler bonding over their ridiculous employers oh my god 

Holly and Juliet low key fangirling over Wonder Woman 

Artemis figuring out the metahuman gene and how to get it and active it in himself 

Artemis with superpowers 

Everyone drops a collective shit 

He refuses to join any teams

The LEP weeps 

Him expecting to get some mental or magic superpower and instead getting like super strength or flight 

“Butler help I don’t know how to land”

Butler sighs 

Holly laughs her ass off 

Artemis the Superhero