how to draw arms ? ?
i wish i never learned about attachment styles because every time i look up mine, it basically says i’m the worst
Today I’m going to talk about the opposite of child abuse, because you all need some proper references to compare your lives to.
First thing that made me realize how upside down my life was, was a friend, who had an abusive father, but good mother. And you see, because the mother was good, she realized when her kids were still small, that he’s abusive, that the kids would get hurt, and she moved the hell away from him and got a divorce. She was poor, she didn’t have many resources, and she had to work very hard to survive, and managed to get the abuser to pay alimony. My friend grew up surrounded by love and support, with high self-confidence, high social abilities, complete belief in their worth and lacking nothing. And then one day the abusive father was angry at the mom, and tried to take it out on my friend, my friend got a call filled with insults and threats. It was scary and my friend got upset, I tried to comfort them but I really didn’t have good words to say. They later called their mom, and this is what the mother said:
“You are a perfect person, if anyone is talking to you like this, you can walk away.”
I remember just feeling complete awe hearing this, told from a mom, to a child. It even cheered me up. Those are the words we should have been getting from our parents. This is the correct attitude.
This other example is something that made me cry, and everyone else I’ve told this story. It’s from a woman on youtube, who has a farm, and it was her dream her whole life to have a farm, and she also has kids. This year, she entered a competition in growing tomatoes, she grew a special tomato plant, and the competition was about who manages to grow the most tomatoes, biggest tomato, and so on. She usually lets her kids play in the garden, but she explained to all of them that they’re not allowed to touch the special competition plant, or harvest the tomatoes.
However, her youngest son, aged maybe 5 or 6, took the biggest tomato off, before it even started ripening. She made a video explaining about what happened, and then she smiled and talked about how she cares about her farm, and her competition a lot, but not even close to how much she cares about her children feeling happy and safe in the garden. She said, even though she warned the kids to not touch the plant, it’s kind of hard to remember for a child which plant is what, and that in long term, competition doesn’t really matter as much as happiness of her children. She even mentioned how she makes mistakes in the garden too, and forgives herself right away, and her children deserve the same forgiveness. And then, her son, laughing, runs up to her, and realizes she’s making a video on tomato he tore off, and he says with a grin “I’m sorry” and she replies, with warmth and affection in her voice: “I forgive you, my darling.”
If you’re, crying, it’s okay, I’m crying too. So here, some standards. Something to compare your parents to. If these people could have done this, your parents could have done it too. You deserved this kind of gentleness and kindness too.
I searched for cptsd.... Why is... Why? Why the eating disorder hotline. Let me make myself cry over my own trauma in peace. I keep digging up new things at least once a week
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you are not alone.
If you are in the United States, please try:
National Eating Disorders Association (support, resources, treatment options)
If you are outside the United States, visit IASP to find help lines related to eating disorders for your country.
For self-help courses on body image and general peer support, please try Koko.
If you need some inspiration and comfort on your dashboard, follow Post It Forward on Tumblr.
Is it normal to feel like just wallowing in your sadness every time the tiniest thing upsets you? Like I know I should just let most things pass and move on and forget about it, but... I could cry and sleep all day instead. My mom got mad at me for smiling and walking around earlier while I was supposed to be doing dishes, and I tried not to cry. It did not work. That interaction sapped almost all of my energy instantly. I wanted to listen to my sad playlist and lie under some blankets, crying for the rest of the day and it took a lot to resist that urge. What the hell is going on and why? Is anyone else like this?
last update: 19th August 2024
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