Today I’m Going To Talk About The Opposite Of Child Abuse, Because You All Need Some Proper References

Today I’m going to talk about the opposite of child abuse, because you all need some proper references to compare your lives to.

First thing that made me realize how upside down my life was, was a friend, who had an abusive father, but good mother. And you see, because the mother was good, she realized when her kids were still small, that he’s abusive, that the kids would get hurt, and she moved the hell away from him and got a divorce. She was poor, she didn’t have many resources, and she had to work very hard to survive, and managed to get the abuser to pay alimony. My friend grew up surrounded by love and support, with high self-confidence, high social abilities, complete belief in their  worth and lacking nothing. And then one day the abusive father was angry at the mom, and tried to take it out on my friend, my friend got a call filled with insults and threats. It was scary and my friend got upset, I tried to comfort them but I really didn’t have good words to say. They later called their mom, and this is what the mother said:

“You are a perfect person, if anyone is talking to you like this, you can walk away.”

I remember just feeling complete awe hearing this, told from a mom, to a child. It even cheered me up. Those are the words we should have been getting from our parents. This is the correct attitude.

This other example is something that made me cry, and everyone else I’ve told this story. It’s from a woman on youtube, who has a farm, and it was her dream her whole life to have a farm, and she also has kids. This year, she entered a competition in growing tomatoes, she grew a special tomato plant, and the competition was about who manages to grow the most tomatoes, biggest tomato, and so on. She usually lets her kids play in the garden, but she explained to all of them that they’re not allowed to touch the special competition plant, or harvest the tomatoes.

However, her youngest son, aged maybe 5 or 6, took the biggest tomato off, before it even started ripening. She made a video explaining about what happened, and then she smiled and talked about how she cares about her farm, and her competition a lot, but not even close to how much she cares about her children feeling happy and safe in the garden. She said, even though she warned the kids to not touch the plant, it’s kind of hard to remember for a child which plant is what, and that in long term, competition doesn’t really matter as much as happiness of her children. She even mentioned how she makes mistakes in the garden too, and forgives herself right away, and her children deserve the same forgiveness. And then, her son, laughing, runs up to her, and realizes she’s making a video on tomato he tore off, and he says with a grin “I’m sorry” and she replies, with warmth and affection in her voice: “I forgive you, my darling.”

If you’re, crying, it’s okay, I’m crying too. So here, some standards. Something to compare your parents to. If these people could have done this, your parents could have done it too. You deserved this kind of gentleness and kindness too.

More Posts from Deathtoyouandtoyours and Others

3 years ago

Yes and now I have no work ethic and I work slow as hell :D

Gifted kid burnout? More like “you have undiagnosed adhd or autism (or both) and because you did well in school as a child no one knew there was anything going on and now school has become more challenging both content and structure-wise to the point where your normal methods for succeeding are no longer working and everyone around you just thinks you’re being lazy”


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9 months ago

I dunno man. I found out today that a subway sandwich is $14 now. A shitty subway footlong sandwich that isn't actually 12 inches long and is occasionally made with expired ingredients and was never a great option to start with. I ate those in high school because I was broke and at the mall a lot.

There are poke bowls in my city from a local place for $16. Super fresh fish and veg, warm rice, more than I can eat in one sitting, for the price of a sandwich and a drink at america's most mid-tier sandwich shop.

Someone in another post said (paraphrased) you used to be able to get something mediocre for cheap, but now the mediocre things cost as much as the nice things so why would you?

4 years ago

it’s 4 am and I couldn’t sleep so have this

fucked up how colors look different depending on what screen you’re looking at them on. that should be illegal I think


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3 years ago

I hate it here so much. I hate struggling when everyone else seems to be doing just fine. I hate being depressed over a job when most adults can work, have a family, do chores, and be social, all without being so overwhelmed that they want to end it all. Just having a job is killing me. I feel like I'm drowning and everyone else is swimming laps around me. What am I supposed to do? Why am I feeling like this. It's just stocking shelves. It's not like I have to do school stuff in top. But I keep making so many mistakes, and my body is so tired. My mind is tired. I want to quit, but everyone is finally proud of me. It's hard to be ashamed of someone who recently died by their own hand. I don't want to keep drowning like this, but I can't find a way out.


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2 years ago

Is "irrational" anger a trauma response?

I only feel like it might be because I'm always bothered when this person enters the room. I'm almost enraged when they try to speak to me, more often than not. I try to keep it to myself only because I know I would look utterly insane otherwise.

It's almost like I've gaslit myself into thinking I've been overly dramatic this whole time and nothing they ever did was so terrible. Then, I feel guilty for being mad at them, even though I look back in it and see how much it affected me or how badly my younger self wanted to leave and cut contact.

I almost feel like I'm losing my mind just thinking about this.


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Too many ignorant progressives trying to tear Biden down because they're not happy about things Biden has no control over or he's not doing their bidding or acting fast enough to keep them happy.

Here is a list of everything anti-Biden progressives are helping to bring into reality by their support of Trump or by voting 3rd party which is the same as voting for TFG:

1) Abortion will be banned nationwide.

2) Contraception will be banned shortly thereafter.

3) The Supreme Court will be locked hard-right for the next 30+ years.

4) The climate crisis will significantly worsen, beyond our ability to mitigate it.

5) More tax cuts for millionaires and billionaires, spiking the deficit.

6) Trump will not leave office.

7) There will be a recession (there's been a recession during every Republican presidency for the last 100 years -- Google it).

8 ) Prices will NOT return to 2019 levels.

9) 50,000 federal workers will be fired and replaced with Trump loyalists per Project 2025. The lack of checks on his power will make it more likely he will remain in office beyond his term.

10) Similarly, the Department of Justice will shift to being under the direct control of the White House, allowing Trump to arrest anyone who's been mean to him.

11) Russia will annex Ukraine then move to invade other eastern European nations, probably Poland first—with Trump's support.

12) America will leave NATO.

13) Trump will, as promised, close the pandemic preparedness office.

14) Millions of citizens will be swept up in Trump's deportation blitz.

15) Trump will use the military to arrest peaceful protesters and charge them under the Insurrection Act. Pro-Palestinian protesters will be deported as Hamas sympathizers.

I cannot imagine having so much privilege as to believe this is okay would not affect me.


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9 months ago

list of vetted gofundme campaigns

last update: 19th August 2024

donate to @aymanbasil’s brother (583€ raised out of 15,000€)

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donate to @ahmeadhilles (6,660€ raised out of 80,000€)

donate to @mohammed-665 (145€ raised out of 45,000€)

donate to @hala-15 (1,466€ raised out of 5,000€)

donate to @bshaeromars-blog ($14,301 raised out of $40,000)

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