You Know Those Anime Meta Posts Along The Lines Of “I Was Born With Pink Hair. The Doctors Told My

You know those anime meta posts along the lines of “I was born with pink hair. The doctors told my parents I was a Main Character and ever since my life has not known peace from demons/spirits/sports competitions/harems who find me”

Well I see that, and I raise you this:

An anime boy whose appearance is, by absolutely anyone’s account, completely and utterly average. Mundane hair. Mundane eyes. Not even glasses to set him the tiniest bit apart. A simple, unmemorable, unrecognizable civilian among a backdrop of millions.

And he has a lot of passions, and a lot of ambitions, which he hones every chance he gets. He’s dabbled in sports and archery and cooking and just about anything you could wrap a competition around. And he’s competed in many of these. Every chance he gets. With all of his passion and all of his might.

He’s crushed by the competition every single time.

Until one day–one day something clicks for him. Something that should have seemed obvious from the start and yet never was–as though everyone, including himself, was unwittingly blind to it. It clicks, when he realizes every kid who’s beaten him in competition, every kid who’s gone on to fame and glory and acclaim, has been some candy-haired gel-spiked ridiculously-dressed fucker. 

There’s some trend there that this Main Character boy can’t explain and can’t understand but he decides, this one time, fuck it. He’ll play along too. He’s got a model train competition in four days, and he’s got nothing more to lose. He hits up the department store, buys the pinkest, noxious-est, fruitiest hair dye he can find, the spikiest hair gel available, and the gaudiest clothes on the thrift rack. He enters the model train competition looking like a bubble gum gijinka.

And he wins.

Suddenly, the other candy-haired contestants notice him. They talk to him. They pledge rivalries. Girls notice him. Judges applaud him. Acclaimed model train aficionados offer him internships across the world. He’s hit on something. 

The main cast expands to cover just about every candy-hair cliche in the book: from the mostly-normal-looking demure school girl with the blue hair to the Naruto-est, yelling-est boy with the red-and-green spiked hair. The cool megane senpais, the purple haired tsunderes, suddenly everyone is interested in him. They’re prodigies and upstarts and underdogs and they truly believe that this main character boy is one of them.

So the main character boy maintains his ruse. He touches up his roots at dawn every morning and carefully attends to his gelled spikes and tells absolutely no one about this great, uncanny, unfathomable secret he’s stumbled upon. He wins his competitions left and right. He racks up the acclaim. He’s hailed as a prodigy of all trades, just now bursting onto the scene, and boils to the top of all his candy-haired peers.

He’s rising up, his every dream within his grasp. Until one day he gets a note under his door, taped to an old picture of his Normal Boring self from middle school, that says “You don’t belong”

More Posts from Cowfoodisgoodfood and Others

1 year ago

עד שאומת חזירי הבר החליטו לתקוף. רק רשות הטבע והגנים הייתה יכולה לעצור אותם, אבל כשהעולם היה זקוק לה יותר מאי פעם, היא נעלמה (אני בירושלים ועכשיו יש כאן המון חזירי בר ואף אחד לא עושה כלום)

חזירי בר בגליל, גמלים בנגב, דורבנים בירושלים וכלבי ים במישור החוף. ארבעת האלמנטים לארבעת האומות שחיות בהרמוניה.

1 year ago

הדבר הכי יפה שאני משאיר מאחור

הוא אורה של החמה;

שנית, הכוכבים הבורקים ואור הלבנה,

וגם מלפפונים בשלים ותפוחים ואגסים.

פרקסילה, המאה ה-5 לפנה"ס. תרגום מיוונית: יורם ברונובסקי

מִי יִמְנֶה אֶת כָּל הַדְּבָרִים הַטּוֹבִים / שֶׁיֶּשְׁנָם, שֶׁיֶּשְׁנָם בָּעוֹלָם: / אוֹר הַשֶּׁמֶשׁ, וְיָם, וּבְרַק כּוֹכָבִים, / וְטִפּוֹת שֶׁל מָטָר, וְרוּחוֹת מְנַשְּׁבִים, / וְשֶׁלִּי הֵם וְגַם שֶׁל כֻּלָּם.

מתוך השיר: יום, לאה גולדברג. ''כל שירי הילדים'', ספריית פועלים.

1 year ago
This Slaps Honestly

this slaps honestly

3 months ago

אוקיי אף אחד לא שאל אבל הנה הסבר על ששת המצבים של שוקולד ולמה השוקולד נראה ככה:

שמתם פעם שאם ממיסים שוקולד בבית הוא נהיה פחות טעים? שהוא נהיה רך ולא מבריק? שהוא מתמצק רק במקרר ולא בטמפרטורת החדר?

לשוקולד יש 6 סידורים של התגבשות. 4 מהם נמסים בטמפרטורה של פחות 30°, אחד נמס בטמפרטורת הגוף, ואחד נמס בסביבות 40°. קשה להגיע אליו בהמסה אז בינתיים נתעלם ממנו.

אנחנו רוצים את הסידור שנמס בטמפרטורת הגוף, כדי שהשוקולד ימס על הלשון אבל יהיה קראנצ'י. בשביל זה, אנחנו צריכים לשלוט בגבישים שלו, ולוודא שכל הגבישים יציבים ב28°, ונמסים רק בטמפרטורת הגוף. לכן צריך לעשות תהליך שנקרא טמפרור, בו ממיסים את השוקולד (ממיסים את כל הגבישים), נותנים לו להתקרר קצת ואז ממיסים אותו שוב עד טמפרטורה של בערך 30° כדי להמיס את הגבישים שנמסים בטמפרטורה נמוכה, וככה לוודא שכל השוקולד בגבישים הטעימים שנמסים בטמפרטורת הגוף.

מה זה המצב השישי? שוקולד, בסופו של דבר, הוא לא יציב, ואם תתנו לשוקולד לשבת הרבה זמן, במיוחד במקרר, הוא יתפרק. השומן יצוף למעלה, והשוקולד לא יהיה מבריק וזה יראה כאילו יש עליו אבקה לבנה. זה בסדר!!! הוא יהיה קצת פחות טעים, כי הוא ימס בטמפרטורה גבוהה ולא יהיה ממש קרמי בפה, אבל הוא יהיה סבבה לגמרי לאכילה, ופחות יפה. אין איך לעצור את זה, אבל אם בא לכם לראות את זה קורה אפשר להאיץ את זה! קחו שוקולד, תמיסו אותו (בלי לטמפרר) ושימו במקרר! תוך שבוע תהיה עליו אבקה לבנה, שהיא השומן.

כן כן, מוצרי אוכל בארץ בחיים לא יגיעו לרמה של יפן, שהמוצר שבתמונת האריזה נראה כמעט אותו הדבר כמו המוצר האמיתי

אבל אני מוצאת את זה מצחיק שמוצרים בארץ לפעמים זה כזה;

כן כן, מוצרי אוכל בארץ בחיים לא יגיעו לרמה של יפן, שהמוצר
כן כן, מוצרי אוכל בארץ בחיים לא יגיעו לרמה של יפן, שהמוצר

לאן הלך הצבע

למה הצבע באריזה והצבע במציאות בהבדל כזה גדול

הדבר היחידי שמציאותי בתמונה (כשאין לה הרבה מאוד משתנים מתחילה) זה הגודל של הכדורים

3 months ago

Me,non Christian: *getting out the popcorn*

I was raised protestant, and I have actually never met a catholic person in real life. Probably seen them on the street while travelling, but never had an actual conversation with one. Most of what I know about them is that they got custody of all the cool art in the divorce.

11 months ago

I was in an archeological dig from 12,000 years ago in one of the hottest places I have ever been in. The ground was so bright you couldn't look anywhere without blinding yourself. You would get heatstroke in the blink of an eye. The archeologists on site told me that 12,000 years ago, this place had snow. SNOW! I couldn't even imagine that, but the climate had changes since then.

starting an elite paramilitary black ops group who sneak into the homes of authors and cut one to three zeroes off any number of years given in a fantasy or sci-fi novel

1 year ago

Fun fact! The 'if I forget Jerusalem may I forget my right hand and may my tonguestick to the roof of my mouth' is actually a thing that can happen! Your left hemisphere is controlling both the right part of your body and your language function. The saying basically says 'if I forget Jerusalem, I must have brain damage'. Obviously the ancient people didn't know it was *brain* damage, but it was a thing that happened to people

If you ask a non-jew what is the symbol of a Jewish wedding they will say it's breaking a glass. But why?

What you don't know is that when the groom breaks the glass the couple are already married. The rabbi has technically already pronounced them husband and wife (though there isn't really that part in a Jewish wedding).

The glass is crushed to represent the grief of the destruction of the temple. The groom says "If I forget you Jerusalem may my right hand be lost, may my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth if I don't remember you and don't put Jerusalem at the top of my joy" (my translation) Even at the happiest event of our lives we will always remember Jerusalem and Zion (i.e Israel) and how it was destroyed and how we were exiled from it. Then and only then, you may kiss the bride.

The verse is from the same psalm that starts with "By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Zion"

This has been Jewish tradition for over 2,000 years and it doesn't matter if it was Jews in Europe, Africa, Asia - we always yearned to return to the land of Israel.

So if you say we aren't indiginous to the land of Israel or that we have no claim to the land, you need to educate yourself.


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4 months ago

This girl I know let me look up something on her phone and her search history was "batman office" "how does batman's office looks like" and she probably writes fanficion and I just had to give her the phone back like a normal person

Scrolling through instagram and seeing that someone I go to uni with has liked a meme about Batfam AO3: ONE OF US ONE OF US

11 months ago

Oh this makes me so fucking mad

Oh This Makes Me So Fucking Mad

So SO fucking mad

You mean israelites, hebrews ffs you mean CANAANITES

THERE WEREN'T PALESTINIANS 3,000 YEARS AGO

THERE WERE JEWISH KINGDOMS

If the tatreez originated 3,000 fucking years ago it makes it jewish, israelite. NOT palestinian

This horrendous cultural and historical erasure of a whole ass ethnic group is absolutely sickening

This accepted activity of rewriting and changing jewish history is so fucking disgusting

This is the kinda shit that makes it so hard for me to feel sympathy and accept the modern palestinian identity

ITS NORMAL FOR NEW IDENTITIES TO EMERGE AND BE BORN, BUT ITS NOT OK TO CHANGE HISTORY SO IT'LL LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE AN ANCIENT AND NATIVE IDENTITY!

I Just fucking hope for the sun to blow us all up soon ffs

11 months ago
So Close! That's Actually Called Antisemitism BECAUSE It Is Antisemitic. And So Are You.
So Close! That's Actually Called Antisemitism BECAUSE It Is Antisemitic. And So Are You.

So close! That's actually called antisemitism BECAUSE it is antisemitic. And so are you.

Saying a people don't have a right to have their own country is racist. Comparing the biggest trauma in Jewish history to something else/using it against jews is antisemitic.

Claiming Israel is an "ethnostate on stolen land' is just wrong. Jews are an ethnicity, but non Jews also live in Israel. About 20% of Israeli people are Arabs. Also, Jew is an ethnicity. Where does this ethnicity come from? The land of Israel, so it isn't stolen.

So yeah. Canada for writing a law against antisemitism, you are just antisemitic


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(she/her, Israeli) I post stuff and like food

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