“I Want To Decompose In A Bog” Well You Clearly Don’t Know The First Thing About Bogs. Clout Chaser

just watched a doe trip over her own front legs and bomb face first into half a dead tree. 10/10

wow I love to sit crosslegged without moving for several hours straight!

let's start speaking the insurance companies' language. this fetus needs to be aborted because it simply does not have the credit history to be trusted to pay for cost of delivery.

told my roommate dracula was an epistolary novel because it’s made up of letters and she was like. of course it’s made of letters it’s a book

A social gathering of dudes who all have serious Main Character Syndrome, but all are wildly different genres. One of them is the "people don't like me because I'm too smart" Misunderstood Genius who isn't actually particularly smart, just mean. Another one thinks he's wisecracking and clever by just talking like a character in a Marvel movie. Third one thinks he's subtly pulling off a mysterious Film Noir vibe by wearing a fedora and spending most of his time internally narrating, and silently staring at people. The fourth one is a deeply dramatic purple prose self-fashioned Byronic Hero who is unaware that he would be a mildly annoying minor antagonist in a Jane Austen novel at best. The fifth one has gotten his entire personality from shounen anime.

[OPENS FRIDGE, REMOVES TUPPERWARE CONTAINER LABELLED "Pomegranates from land of dead do not eat"]

More proof that capitalism was never "freedom" or "small government".

Yelena Belova (BELOVED) ⚡️⚡️

Sweet bby

dr who’s on first, doctor strange is on second and doctor house is on third. theres no way theyre getting through a single inning