I Wonder How Many People Out There Buy Teslas Because They Think They’re A Luxury Car Brand Just Like

in desperate need of a superhero who has every conceivable superpower...but isn't "overpowered" bc they're mediocre at everything. flight? i mean yeah they can fly. with all the grace of a drunken butterfly, bumping into multiple surfaces in the process, but yeah technically they're flying. super strength? sure with super butterfingers built-in, but it counts. laser eyes but their aim's for shit. they've saved the world as many times as they've endangered it by making a bad situation worse. the "good guys" and "bad guys" are equally apprehensive of having this person on their team

Pretzel Manatee blesses you with his pretzel tail 🥨

The exception is cheesy local commercials. Those should be the only ads. I will listen to someone who runs a store in my city doing an awkward rap. We once had a furniture store with these awful CGI ads and the slogan "where the deals are so low, it's almost criminal!" and then they got shut down, by the cops, because it turned out. It turned out the deals were so low because. You're not going to believe this but the prices were so low it was in fact

one of those generically cheerful Bless this Home (and all who enter) signs, but instead it says Memento Mori (remember that you must die)

they're family to me