The biggest misconception in public schools is that literary analysis is about proving you can be right or wrong about a book you read
Literary analysis isn’t about the book
It’s not even about being right
It’s about performing an investigation and presenting your case to the jury
It doesn’t matter if your defendant killed that guy or not. If you can convince the jury he didn’t, you’ve won
And the incredible life skill of spinning bulletproof bullshit out your ass with a handful of facts and a prayer is soooooooo much more valuable than anyone’s ever gonna tell you
Smol Kitty
From the makers of rats full of soup, I am pleased to bring you soup full of rat 🥫🐀
Hmm. Apparently it's starting to be that time of the year when the temperature might be the plausible answer to "why am I unreasonably mad for no good reason." And it's worthwhile to try sitting on the balcony to cool off for a few minutes to see if it goes away, instead of immediately starting fights with strangers on tumblr over which one out of the two of you is the one who doesn't know what it looks like when birds are fucking.
I hear you wanna remove a canon female love interest from a M/F ship for the purpose of your fanfiction, eh?
Well before you turn her into a raging bitch for absolutely no reason, WHY NOT:
“He just wasn’t into her like that but they’re still friends”
“They tried dating and decided it wasn’t what they wanted”
“She didn’t actually know him that well and after some time she realized she wasn’t actually that interested”
“He had a habit that was a total deal-breaker, no hard feelings though”
“One of them got a really good job offer somewhere else that they couldn’t turn down and have since moved on”
“Turns out she’s gay”
“Turns out HE’s gay”
“One of them wanted kids and one didn’t”
“They had different long-term goals”
“They tried dating and realized they saw each other more as family and it was super weird and uncomfortable, like kissing your sister”
“Neither one of them was in it for the long haul, it was more of a friends-with-benefits deal”
“Dating one another was what made them realize they’re BOTH gay”
“They weren’t compatible in bed”
“One of them was more career-driven than the other”
“By the time one of them confessed the other had already started a relationship with someone else and they’re doing really well”
“One of them has a beloved pet that the other is deathly allergic to so the distance kinda broke things down”
“They wound up working for the same company with a zero fraternization policy”
“One of them is the other’s boss so dating would be unethical”
“One of them is focusing on themselves right now”
“He’s actually kind of a loser”
“They couldn’t communicate their needs”
“He wasn’t actually all that attractive after all”
“You misunderstand, they are each other’s wingman”
”You misunderstand, they are each other’s beard”
“You misunderstand, they faked the relationship so they could marry for citizenship/tax purposes/political reasons”
”They ARE together but they’re both into the third party”
”They ARE together but they’re cool with each other seeing other people”
”They’ve been faking the relationship to evade an excess rental expense on their shared apartment”
”They’re not in a romantic/sexual relationship, they just got that queerplatonic swag”
“Their parents got married and the step-siblings thing gave them the ick”
“You thought they were flirting? Dude that was ironic. What, you don’t flirt with your friends?”
after all those pope and vatican posts i feel like you should know. he's just died. on easter weekend too the timing is foul 😭😭
And this is how I find out.
I am a grown ass adult and I still get nausea when I feel like I'm in trouble. They're gonna send me to the principals office and take away my toys for a week. Can you just fucking kill me instead of making me stew in my fucking anxiety
*john mulaney voice*
boat
suez canal
it's never happened before
no one knows what the boat is gonna do next, least of all the boat