I hear you wanna remove a canon female love interest from a M/F ship for the purpose of your fanfiction, eh?
Well before you turn her into a raging bitch for absolutely no reason, WHY NOT:
“He just wasn’t into her like that but they’re still friends”
“They tried dating and decided it wasn’t what they wanted”
“She didn’t actually know him that well and after some time she realized she wasn’t actually that interested”
“He had a habit that was a total deal-breaker, no hard feelings though”
“One of them got a really good job offer somewhere else that they couldn’t turn down and have since moved on”
“Turns out she’s gay”
“Turns out HE’s gay”
“One of them wanted kids and one didn’t”
“They had different long-term goals”
“They tried dating and realized they saw each other more as family and it was super weird and uncomfortable, like kissing your sister”
“Neither one of them was in it for the long haul, it was more of a friends-with-benefits deal”
“Dating one another was what made them realize they’re BOTH gay”
“They weren’t compatible in bed”
“One of them was more career-driven than the other”
“By the time one of them confessed the other had already started a relationship with someone else and they’re doing really well”
“One of them has a beloved pet that the other is deathly allergic to so the distance kinda broke things down”
“They wound up working for the same company with a zero fraternization policy”
“One of them is the other’s boss so dating would be unethical”
“One of them is focusing on themselves right now”
“He’s actually kind of a loser”
“They couldn’t communicate their needs”
“He wasn’t actually all that attractive after all”
“You misunderstand, they are each other’s wingman”
”You misunderstand, they are each other’s beard”
“You misunderstand, they faked the relationship so they could marry for citizenship/tax purposes/political reasons”
”They ARE together but they’re both into the third party”
”They ARE together but they’re cool with each other seeing other people”
”They’ve been faking the relationship to evade an excess rental expense on their shared apartment”
”They’re not in a romantic/sexual relationship, they just got that queerplatonic swag”
“Their parents got married and the step-siblings thing gave them the ick”
“You thought they were flirting? Dude that was ironic. What, you don’t flirt with your friends?”
my mum has severe knee problems and needs a replacement. Today she was told she's too fat to be operated on and the knee specialist suggested she gets a gastric band - which also involves surgery. So my mum was like first of all you didn't read my file because it explains that I'm not fat because I eat too much second of all you said it's impossible for me to get surgery and then suggested I get a surgery about it? He then asked her her weight and height, didn't believe her answer, and made her prove it to him because she "looks fatter than that". So she was like so you also just entirely based this on looks instead of actual numbers?
Unstoppable force (House’s gay jokes) vs immovable object (Wilson’s repression)
help help help
The exception is cheesy local commercials. Those should be the only ads. I will listen to someone who runs a store in my city doing an awkward rap. We once had a furniture store with these awful CGI ads and the slogan "where the deals are so low, it's almost criminal!" and then they got shut down, by the cops, because it turned out. It turned out the deals were so low because. You're not going to believe this but the prices were so low it was in fact
bitches be like “I’m a writer” and then abandon their wip for months. it’s me I’m bitches.