Me Then (young, Naive): I Dont Swear Because There Are Better Choices To Make With My Vocabulary

me: moral high horse? Oh no, this is my high moral horse.

horse, stoned as hell: legalisation is the most significant step of substance abuse harm reduction.

after all those pope and vatican posts i feel like you should know. he's just died. on easter weekend too the timing is foul 😭😭

And this is how I find out.

logan is generally assigned “nonbeliever” in ghost/supernatural AUs, which is fair, however, please also consider: 

my mum has severe knee problems and needs a replacement. Today she was told she's too fat to be operated on and the knee specialist suggested she gets a gastric band - which also involves surgery. So my mum was like first of all you didn't read my file because it explains that I'm not fat because I eat too much second of all you said it's impossible for me to get surgery and then suggested I get a surgery about it? He then asked her her weight and height, didn't believe her answer, and made her prove it to him because she "looks fatter than that". So she was like so you also just entirely based this on looks instead of actual numbers?

Hey dude. I noticed that you seem to be having a lot of symbolic association with the ouroboros icon and I just wanted to know if you were like. ok. or like, that you're experiencing time linearly and not stuck in an eternal loop of the same events.

She placebo on my effect til I feel like something happened

so I’m filling out pediatrician intake forms for my newborn son and I get to the demographic section and I was already chuckling about putting a marital status…

yes hello my 3 day old son responds to only Old English, thank you

Cats and small kids are curious about what you're doing in much of the same way. Sometimes when you seem to be up to something, they want to see what it is. If you try to keep a cat from sniffing something to find out what it is, they'll keep insisting, louder and louder, "let me sniff, let me sniff, LET ME SNIFF, LET ME SNIFF!!" until you do.

And then they sniff at it for two seconds and go "oh, oooh. Now I get it. Don't care" and wander off. But the demand to know will remain for as long as the thing is kept from them.

This one time when I was in nursing school, I had a training period in a kindergarten. One day I was chatting with one of the workers, telling her about this one time when I was in Kentucky due to my boyfriend at the time living there, and I saw this huge locally native spider-

And then I got interrupted by this one specific kid - a four-year-old boy who had taken a liking to me, sharp as hell and never missed a single thing. Looking at me with a deeply baffled, wide-eyed frown that kids that age do when Shit Does Not Add Up, he asked me: Boyfriend? If you're a boy, why did you have a boyfriend?

Not sure what else to say, I just shrugged and said that it happens sometimes, sometimes men fall in love with men or women fall in love with women. And I could practically observe in real time as his confusion disappeared in a blink, as this previously completely unfathomable piece of information entered his brain, was swiftly processed, and instantly filed into "boring grownup shit that I don't care about". He only had one follow-up question:

"What happened to the spider?"

this could be the snart of something big