This Could Be The Snart Of Something Big

told my parents i miss archaeology and my mom was, very sympathetically, like: “do you want to dig holes in the garden?” and i was like. yes. i want to dig holes in the garden.

fuck

Not now kitten daddy's googling his symptoms

asking "hey is it fine if I smoke in here" and before you're able to answer I've already set up a full rack of salmon over a fire in your living room

Keep scrolling, there's nothing fishy going on here

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

person who goes back in time to try and prevent lincoln’s assassination but they get so enraptured by the play that he’s watching that they forget and he gets shot anyways

🧟 @reniadeb 🧑‍🔬

Sherlock Holmes having a universal ace experience -- expressing disinterest and immediately getting called an inhuman robot.

"the world isn't kind" ok??? Much more importantly are you?????