Latest Posts by bonjour-itsame - Page 2

Goodluck Pikachu

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

Y’ever read something and have understanding that has eluded you interminably suddenly stop, curl up, and snuggle neatly into a fold in your brain because a new way way opened to it?

No because I really want to understand why Nesta is the one getting hated on in ACOFAS, when Cassian was the one who wouldn’t leave her alone.

So clearly, she doesn’t want him to walk her home. No lashing out. Just a simple “I’m fine”

And the last line says it all. She wants nothing to do with him. He knows that, yet he still wants to interact with her.

He says he understands, but he certainly doesn’t act like it.

Again, she doesn’t want him with her and tells him to go back to the house. This is the second time she makes it clear she doesn’t want him around.

Third time she makes it clear she wants him to leave her alone. By now he should’ve gotten the hint.

And then she says she doesn’t want his damn gift. Why would she take it?

Again, for the fourth time, she makes it clear she wants nothing to do with him.

Games? What games? Does he actually think that Nesta struggling & not wanting anything to do with him, is her playing with him?

By the way, this is one of the worst things you can say to someone who is suffering. That they don’t try hard enough.

Then go somewhere else? Seriously??

She makes it clear she doesn’t want anything to do with him, for the fifth time. You’d think by now he’d finally get the hint. But of course, he doesn’t leave.

So Cassian basically tells her he doesn’t know why someone like her could be loved, and all she says is go home Cassian (sixth time)

I can’t put anymore photos so I’ll type out the next scene

It was instinct to lunge for her free hand. Her gloved fingers scraped against his calluses, but he held firm.

“Talk to me. Nesta. Tell me—“ (Cassian)

So he wants her to talk to him, after acting like an ass and telling her he didn’t know how her sisters love her.

She ripped her hand out of his grip. Stared him down. A mighty, vengeful queen.

He waited, panting, for the verbal lashing to begin. For her to shred him into ribbons. But Nesta only stared at him, her nose crinkling. Stared, then snorted —and walked away.

As if he were nothing. As if he weren’t worth her time. The effort.

Why would she give you the time of day to talk to you after acting like that? He did this to himself. She makes it clear she wants nothing to do with him, and he wouldn’t leave her alone.

Rhysand's SA of Feyre UTM is real, and the way it is brushed aside is hard to reconcile. So let's talk about it (inspired by an amazing fanart of Feysand UTM).

1. "Drink, you'll need it." "No." "Drink."

The faerie wine is a way to control Feyre, stripping her of her ability to resist or even fully remember the SA she endures. By forcing her to drink against her will, Rhysand takes away her awareness and her consent, putting her in a position where she can't defend herself, can't remember, and can't even process the trauma of what is happening to her. The fact that she loses entire chunks of time under the influence of the wine, along with his mind manipulation, is incredibly dark. He exploits her vulnerability in the worst possible way, taking advantage of her defenseless state to make her an object of display and control.

And the blackouts likely make it easier for her to excuse his actions later because she can't fully recall the details—her memories of the abuse are fragmented, which makes it hard for her to confront the reality of what happened. By removing her memories of the trauma, Rhysand essentially robs her of the ability to even begin healing from it, which is both abusive and manipulative on a profound level. That line where Feyre admits to looking forward to the faerie wine is heartbreaking and reveals the depth of her trauma and desperation. She's so overwhelmed, so physically and mentally trapped UTM, that she starts viewing the wine as a reprieve.

When Feyre clings to the chance of escape, even if it means blackout oblivion, it's clear she's developed a trauma response—a desperate coping mechanism to endure her circumstances. She craves that brief numbness, however forced, to escape the horror of her reality, even though the wine also strips her of her autonomy and memories. This moment does not show her acceptance of what is happening to her, but rather how deeply damaged Feyre is, to the point where the very thing that is hurting her becomes something she grasps onto for a sense of relief.

She's left with only the tools of her abuser, clinging to the one thing that allows her to survive, even if it means blacking out parts of herself. And that's one of the saddest aspects—she's forced to use the very method of her exploitation as her survival mechanism, and it reveals how utterly trapped she feels. It's incredibly troubling to see this suffering reframed as some sort of prelude to romance, especially when her trauma responses, like craving the oblivion of the wine, go unaddressed later.

2. "From the neck down, I was a heathen god's plaything."

Dressing her up like that is another layer of control and degradation. Rhysand doesn't just make her a spectacle, he strips away her agency and autonomy in how she presents herself, reducing her to an object—"a heathen god's plaything." It is a costume designed to sexualize and dehumanize her, reinforcing his control while robbing her of any in how she looks or is perceived. Feyre is reduced to a pawn in his game, forced into a role where her dignity is actively stripped away. And that lack of choice over her appearance isn't a small detail—it shows how calculated his cruelty is, how every element is crafted to control and humiliate her while leaving her feeling exposed, objectified, and powerless.

Fast-forward to the Court of Nightmares, and it's disturbing to see Feyre wear a similar costume with Rhysand's approval and guidance. In ACOMAF, it's framed as Feyre's choice, as part of a scheme they're in together, but the undertone is still there—that her body, her appearance, and her sense of self are manipulated to play into Rhysand's strategy. While she consents this time, her "consent" is given within a framework that echoes her previous trauma, with Rhysand guiding her actions in a place where she once felt utterly degraded. This creates a troubling dynamic, as she's stepping back into a role of objectification and sexualization, one she didn't initially choose. It's like Feyre is reenacting her trauma in the name of strategy, and Rhysand, rather than considering the impact of such an act, almost seems to encourage it.

The narrative attempts to pass this off as empowering, but it feels unsettlingly manipulative. Feyre is using her own trauma against herself in a sense, allowing herself to be dressed up, touched, and paraded in a way that directly mirrors her exploitation UTM. Rhysand's involvement in this scheme blurs the line between a partnership and a twisted repetition of his control over her. What's especially disquieting is that it’s framed as something clever, as if allowing herself to be objectified is her best option, which glosses over the ways this echoes her previous abuse. The lack of self-reflection or deeper acknowledgment from Rhysand about how disturbing this could be for her is another glaring omission. It's treated as if the past doesn't matter, as if she can simply step back into this role and play along.

3. "As soon as his finger left my skin, the paint fixed itself."

Rhysand deliberately puts Feyre in degrading positions, like having her sit on his lap or by his feet, dance between his legs, turning her into a kind of possession to flaunt in front of everyone. That sort of physical control and forced closeness is a form of SA, plain and simple, and it is deeply violating for Feyre. But let's talk about the non-consensual touching that Rhysand engages in that is frequently excused because it is on Feyre's waist and sides. Let's look at this scene when Rhysand demonstrates how the magical ink on Feyre's body works:

I braced myself as he ran a finger along my shoulder, smearing the paint. As soon as his finger left my skin, the paint fixed itself, returning the design to its original form. "The dress itself won’t mar it, and neither will your movements," he said, his face close to mine. His teeth were far too near to my throat. "And I’ll remember precisely where my hands have been. But if anyone else touches you—let’s say a certain High Lord who enjoys springtime—I’ll know."

What is particularly alarming about this is Rhysand's ability to fix the ink that he smudges with ease. This suggests that he might be touching Feyre anywhere on her body without leaving a trace, only choosing to smear the ink in a way that is minimal and non-incriminating as a deliberate tactic to create an illusion of consent and innocence to ensure that Feyre believes he isn't crossing any boundaries, while the reality is far more sinister. Since Feyre is blacking out each night, she has no way of knowing the extent of his actions.

This creates a disturbing dynamic where Feyre is left questioning her own experiences. The boundaries Rhysand establishes through selective touching serve to confuse and trap her, making it easier for him to maintain control. The knowledge that he could be touching her inappropriately without her knowing adds a layer of psychological torment. It underscores his power over her autonomy and reinforces the idea that she is never truly safe from him. The smudged ink is merely another tool of deception, allowing Rhysand to manipulate her perception of what is happening to her body.

4. "I spent my days sleeping off the faerie wine... to escape the humiliation I endured."

Yes, this line is important because it reveals just how deeply broken Feyre feels UTM, using sleep to escape the horror and humiliation forced upon her by Rhysand. Her days blur together in a haze of faerie wine and sleep, a desperate attempt to shut out the reality of what she is enduring. Sleeping through the pain, drinking away the humiliation—these are raw trauma responses, the signs of someone who feels so trapped and powerless that unconsciousness becomes her only refuge. It's not a choice born out of comfort or peace, it's survival, an act of shutting down just to endure the next day.

This level of psychological exhaustion—using sleep to escape humiliation—shows the depths of what Rhysand's SA does to her. Each day, she wakes to a fresh cycle of abuse and trauma, so she retreats in the only way left to her: shutting her mind and body down. Even without full memories, a part of her mind understands the darkness she is facing and tries to find any means of survival. Yet, that's the last we see of Feyre's trauma responses to her SA by Rhysand.

In ACOMAF, we see Rhysand haunted by nightmares of his SA by Amarantha. His distress is severe enough that Feyre even helps him through one of these episodes when she is staying with him at the Townhouse. It's clear that his trauma around the abuse he suffered under Amarantha is still raw and unresolved. But it raises an unsettling question: why does Feyre no longer seem to exhibit any nightmares or trauma responses tied specifically to her SA by Rhysand?

Feyre's lack of nightmares surrounding her experiences with Rhysand, especially given her coping mechanism of sleeping off the humiliation, feels absurd. It implies a troubling erasure of her trauma, suggesting that either she is suppressing these experiences or the narrative chooses not to engage with them. Instead, we see her nightmares focus on other parts of her trauma UTM—like the faeries she killed to save Tamlin—but the specific horror of being abused by Rhysand is conspicuously absent.

5. "Don't get me started on what you did to me Under the Mountain."

When Feyre tries to bring up her SA in ACOMAF, it's dismissed with barely any meaningful confrontation or healing process. Rhysand's near-breakdown and avoidance make it seem like his feelings take priority over Feyre's trauma—a strange and uncomfortable narrative choice. Feyre deserves closure, and readers do too. It's painful to see the story shift to make him the hero without ever fully grappling with that past harm. The lack of acknowledgment or accountability not only undermines Feyre's agency but also misses the chance to explore the complex journey from trauma to healing.

What's even more disturbing is how Feyre's SA by Rhysand is recontextualized to excuse his behavior as somehow protective or necessary. It creates a twisted narrative where his cruel choices are somehow reframed as noble or sacrificial, without ever allowing Feyre her rightful anger or trauma over that experience. The absence of a real, open discussion about this later on in the series—one where Feyre's trauma isn't overshadowed by Rhysand's guilt or anger or avoidance—is a glaring gap.

In failing to fully address the impact of Rhysand's SA on Feyre, the narrative ultimately deprives her—and the readers—of the resolution and healing that her trauma demands. The fact that her suffering is left unexplored while his is highlighted skews the focus, suggesting that his redemption and guilt matter more than her recovery. This imbalance not only erases her experience but distorts her journey from survival to empowerment. A truly powerful narrative would allow her to confront him and reclaim her voice, addressing the harm he inflicted.

There's so much more to unpack here that I'm sure I'm missing—like the nightmare fuel that is Chapter 54. Anything else you guys would add?

back to this quote, I think I’ve cracked a major reason why training women to fight was Illyria going so abysmally other than “all Illyrian men are just The Worst” it’s like. not only are the men extremely psychologically fucked up from experiencing this insane amount of violence and abuse starting at eight there’s also going to be natural feelings of resentment that the women didn’t have to go through this and still get to be warriors and fight. they desperately need to rationalize the amount of abuse they experienced so it can mean something so now anyone who didn’t spend their formative years getting their bones broken is obviously No True Warrior. There’s an obvious misogyny element but also deeper psychological component that if they see someone like the Valkyries succeed when they started training as adults they might have to look inward and realize it was all for nothing. that they suffered so much for so many years for ultimately no reason. sunk cost fallacy yada yada

idk a way to save the post for later other than this

LESS movies about the lgbtq experience MORE movies about people who just happen to be lgbtq. is it really that hard to understand

it genuinely feels like there’s a physical barrier of cognitive dissonance regarding rhys’s aWeS0mE ruling strategies 🤪🙃🫠

Feyre: You have every comfort and yet it is not enough?

Court of Nightmare Women:

"Nesta is Illyrian. Elain is Elain."

I'm sorry, did he just use his mother's people, Azriel and Cassian's people, his people, as a derogatory term? No wonder the Illyrians don't like him, if he casually says things like this. No wonder other characters thing negatively of Illyrians when their HL, and half Illyrian himself, who supposedly loves his Illyrian mother and sister, uses them as an insult.

Even if you don't like Nesta, you can't seriously stand there and tell me this isn't a fucked up thing to say, especially with the oppression Illyrian women face. Yet we're still expected to believe that Rhysand is the Feminist, anti racist, anti classist king that we all love? Hell no. In what universe is what he said not racist?!

Then there's the... entire plot of ACOSF. They abused and beat her until she learned to just take it, and consider it a form of love as opposed to what it really is. The same way that Illyrian women are beaten and abused their whole lives, until they eventually have no choice but to accept the abuse that they've been dealt with.

To add a cherry onto the sundae of fucked up behaviour, the bat boys swear up and down that they aren't anything like the abusive assholes in Illyria and would never accept that kind of behaviour.

Did u see that?! 😃

Blame this guy named tony for this ok😭

it’s almost as though media is meant to be viewed critically… and that’s not to say someone has to look at it from these angles (i think one of the things about sjm is that people can read as much or little into it as they want) but to then dismiss constructive conversation that views the content as a somethibg to analyze critically (like anything pop-culture is)….

SJM fans who go "It's just fiction." when you point out a flaw in her writing are a pain in the ass. When a author wants to write about fantasy, they'll take things from REAL LIFE to put into their stories. There are authors out there who will write their ideologies into their books and SJM is one of them.

Feyre dismantling the spring court out of petty revenge? Colonization.

The inner circle not allowing ANYONE from hewn city to enter Velaris and if they did, they would be treated horribly? Segregation.

SJM describing her POC as not striking, not beautiful compared to her main characters? Racism.

Hybern being based on Ireland and Prythian being based on Britian? The portrayal and demonization of Celtic culture? Do you know what the other name for anti-Irish sentiment is? Hibernophobia. That is a one letter difference.

"Hybern's geography closely resembles that of Ireland, while Pryhtian resembles Britain. Sarah J. Maas took inspiration from both countries to create the two locations." That's from the trivia section of the wiki page for Hybern.

The fae enslaving humans for hundreds of years? And Rhys has the audacity to say both sides are wrong.

I AM NOT AT FAULT FOR POINTING OUT THESE KIND OF THINGS. FANTASY CAN BE AND IS A REFLECTION OF REAL LIFE!

each time someone makes ai content in this fandom (I refuse to call it art) and another makes videos etc with that content, an angel loses its wings

Didi is so so wonderful yall should check her out

dare I dip my toes into acotar fandom discourse….

Rhysand be like ✨Feyre's body, my choice✨

oh Rhysand I will see you in HELL. Believe that.

(mind you, he continued to keep many more secrets after this quote in ACOMAF 🙃🙃)

i know i said i’d shut up about acotar but i’ve never seen a fantasy society so primed for a populist revolution as the night court. all the wealthy merchants and artists are from one single city while a disenfranchised rural population is expected to provide the armies and die for them without seeing any of that wealth? not to mention the fact that the wealthy city elite don’t have to go to war? “oh nooo our greatest threat is koschei the deathless sorcerererrrr” your greatest threat is your citizens discovering class consciousness.

this!!! thank u so much for r saying this omg

No question just reminding you that your writing makes a difference and I love both your analysis series and your fic! If it's something you're interested in exploring, I would love to hear your thoughts on how pop psychology and over reliance on short form content lead to community issues. For years there's been a trend of people with surface level knowledge using out of context buzzwords to police and shame people who dare have symptoms they're not 100% in control of.

Wow, such a kind thing to say! I often feel like I’m bashing my head against my own fist so I’m glad to know something worthwhile is coming out of it lol

An interesting question, and I would first ask: do we know that this is happening? The general mental health-ification of the internet has been happening for a few years now, and it’s sort of hard to know the effects given it’s still an evolving situation. But I’ll speak to some things I’ve seen personally that might be relevant.

The first is that people, and particularly young people, are more mental health literate than they have ever been. This is largely good! AND - TikTok and other social media has become kind of like WebMD for mental health disorders and relational dysfunction. Because of this, a lot of people fall down the self-diagnosis rabbit hole in the same way. And sometimes that’s helpful when it motivates people to seek treatment, but can be harmful because of the vast amount of misinformation on the internet. And treatment is still very inaccessible due to cost and availability, leaving people to go it alone with unvetted resources. So we have a climate where people are aware of mental health issues, there’s lot of misinformation, and credible help is hard to get. This is a breeding ground for pop psychology and therapy influencers to take root.

So to your questions: I do see a lot of folks using (and misusing) clinical terms in irl situations. Its part of the reason I hate that mental healthcare is so embedded in the medical systems because everything gets shoehorned into diagnostic labels when it’s not necessary. Some top culprits include boundaries, gaslighting, triggers, as well as diagnoses like BPD, NPD, DID, etc.

Ex: gaslighting is often thrown around when people disagree. Someone remembering something different than you is not abuse - the more likely reality is that human memory is complex and bad. Gaslighting is a deliberate tactic used to make you question your memory/sanity. It requires intent to deceive.

Ex: Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a medical diagnosis that requires a person to experience distress and loss of functioning from the consequences of their compulsively self centered behavior. Sometimes people are just being assholes. A person treating you badly doesn’t require a diagnosis. But labels can make people feel more oriented and in control, because YOURE the bad/wrong/sick one and therefore I don’t have to look at myself.

I think this has two effects:

1. An overly cognitive view and experience of human behavior that pathologizes normal, messy multi-faceted reactions and interactions in an effort to find a sense of security and predictability via control.

2. A lower tolerance for productive conflict and adverse experiences that robs people of opportunities to build resilience and experience meaning from the suffering that visits us all at some point or other.

In fandom spaces, I think this shows up as an unwillingness to question why we react to things the way we do, why certain things make us uncomfortable instead of immediately rejecting them wholesale. There’s valuable information in the things that chafe us, and so much of the work I do with folks is about being brave and actively seeking that information in a safe, contained space. It’s a vulnerable thing, and it’s natural for our defensive responses to get activated (fight, flight, freeze, and fawn). and my totally unfounded theory is that the folks who are being vicious and keyboard warriory are defaulting to a fight response: be scary to make the thing stop. It’s a self-protection strategy at its core, but it fandom spaces it translates as bullying because well.. it is. They’re trying to defend a space, even an online one, by trying to be scary enough not to fight with.

Art is inherently self-reflective, both in the making of and the interacting with, where consumption is about satisfaction. My hope is that in fandom we can move toward creation as a conversation instead of as a product that does or does not fulfill what someone is looking for. I think there will always be demand for super tropey, digestible, just for fun content and that’s great, but I also would love to see more folks be willing to engage with things that make them uncomfortable in an effort to find out why. That’s the kind of fandom I’m interested in being a part of. For some people it’s never going to be that deep, but I’d like to think in my little corner that’s the kind of stuff we get excited about.

Cassian to Mor

rebooting for others/personal reference:)

becoming an adult cheat sheet!

learn to coupon

what to do when you can’t afford therapy

cleaning your bathroom

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

stress management

quick fix meals

find out if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

resume workshop

organize your closet

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

what you should bring to a doctor’s appointment

what’s a mortgage?

how to pick a health insurance plan

hotlines list

your first gynecology appointment

what to do if the cops pull you over

things to have in your car in case of emergency

my moving out masterpost

how to make friends as an adult (video)

how to do taxes (video)

recommended reads for surviving adulthood (video)

change a flat tire (video)

how to do laundry (video)

opening a bank account (video)

laundry cheat sheet

recipes masterpost

tricks to help you sleep more

what the fuck should you make for dinner?

where should you go for drinks?

alcohol: know your limits

easy makeup tips

find seat maps for your flight

self-defense tips

prevent hangovers

workout masterpost

how to write a check

career builder

browse careers

birth control information

financial management software & app (free)

my mental health masterpost

my college applications masterpost

how to jumpstart a car

sex ed masterpost

if ur thinking of getting a possum from build a bear DO IT

pros of the build a bear one is most of their (build a bear) outfits fit them

this was the best graduation gift ever 🤩 thank u again mum

Possum post bc I love them

Build a bear possum

Feista possum

Wild Republic Cuddlekins possum

Douglas Lil Handfuls Possum

Wilfdlife Artists Conservation Critters 8 inch possum

Douglas Oliver the (o)possum

Wildlife Artist Conservation Critters 12 in possum

Webkinz possum

nina 🤝 leslie

🧇 waffles 🧇

character development 😌

X

Blame this guy named tony for this ok😭

SO APPARENTLY ALL OF THE SHADOWHUNTERS IS BASED OFF OF AN I*CEST FIC OF THE WEASLYS?? HOW DID I NOT KNOW BUT ALSO LIKE ITS ALL COMING TOGETHER the goblet of fire and adamas (which is what the mortal cup is also made of) are described as virtually the same material the mortal sword and gryffindors sword the family similarities • the fairchilds ——>the weaselys • the morgensterns ———> the malfoys (which explains why jaces attitude is all “i’m an ass even though everyone sees i just dont care that much about being an ass as i pretend” cause he was brought up/taught by what is essentially an actually competent at being a bigoted dick version of lucius malfoy) -first impression jace ——-> first impression draco mallory -same pretentious dick vibe but jace has growth while malfoy kind of... festers • the lightwoods ———> the potters • HENRY BRANWELL ——> ARTHUR WEASLY • THE WHOLE DEAD TWIN THING bigoted cults ⁃ valentine ——> voldemort ⁃ robert lightwood ——> snape in the sense that he turns out in the end to be just chill enough for some characters to forgive but is still.. ⁃ hodge starkwether (the traitor tutor) ——> petittigrew ⁃ sebastian/jonathan morgenstern ——> what draco thought he was ⁃

and the aspects of vassa and the mortal queens from the story The Firebird and Princess Vassila with the whole boiling water (like the cauldron) and one becoming handsome(immortal youth and beauty) and then ugly (like the aged queen)

When you realize S.J.M. most likely based Baba Yellowlegs off of Baba Yaga from Bartok the Magnificent