I Want You To Remember:

Ahh, so that’s why Morbius hasn’t been very active in the comics lately…

He was on vacation 😂😂😂

incredibly good photo of little rats, with ancient greek particles to learn

Some of yall needed to hear this

Credits to @/mattxiv on Instagram

Empathy is a bitch

I just realized that, although I love the 2012 Dark Shadows movie, for some people that movie is their 2021 Morbius.

Reasons I like it: It’s Johnny Depp, in a vampire movie, set in the late 60s early 70s, with all the music and Johnny Depp-ing around that that would entail…

But I get what a fan of the Original Dark Shadows would see: that’s not Barnabas Collins, this tone is too cheerful, they truncated whole arcs, and some characters are missing or smooshed together!

Because that’s kind of how I feel about the Morbius movie: that’s not Michael Morbius, they’ve smooshed three different characters into one worse version of an important one, why does this taste like a diet version of the 90s comic? What is this tone?

But someone probably says: yes! Jared Leto is Jared Leto-big all over the place, and I love that Milo guy, I’d like to ship him and Michael, and ooo! Cool special effects! Boy, what a fun early 2000s comic book movie!

And I cringed, just like those poor Dark Shadows fans did. However, 3 years out from my worst ever experience with the cinema, I can’t completely find it in my heart to hate movie-character Morbius anymore. In the grand multiversal scheme of things he’s just another version of my favorite character, and he did nothing wrong but exist in a shitty movie. And I hope the Dark shadows fans eventually realized this about movie-character Barnabus too. He might not be your favorite version of the guy, but he’s still that guy. And he might become someone’s favorite.

I just thought I’d point this out because sometime in the next decade or so, they will do this again to someone else’s favorite vampire blorbo. I just know that Hollywood will. So I hope that when they do, both fandoms will there to commiserate with the new guys. Because it sucks to see your blorbos done out of character in an adaptation that overshadows their original portrayal.

But just know that that shitty adaptation will make more people interested in that character, and hopefully, they will eventually watch/read the original versions. And then you’ll have new friends!

Yeah, that’s exactly how I expected that to go 😂

This is wonderful btw

Vid by NikhilClayton

Nope now it’s at the point that i’m shocked that people off tt don’t know what’s going down. I have no reach but i’ll sum it up anyway.

SCOTUS is hearing on the constitutionality of the ban as tiktok and creators are arguing that it is a violation of our first amendment rights to free speech, freedom of the press and freedom to assemble.

SCOTUS: tiktok bad, big security concern because china bad!

Tiktok lawyers: if china is such a concern why are you singling us out? Why not SHEIN or temu which collect far more information and are less transparent with their users?

SCOTUS (out loud): well you see we don’t like how users are communicating with each other, it’s making them more anti-american and china could disseminate pro china propaganda (get it? They literally said they do not like how we Speak or how we Assemble. Independent journalists reach their audience on tt meaning they have Press they want to suppress)

Tiktok users: this is fucking bullshit i don’t want to lose this community what should we do? We don’t want to go to meta or x because they both lobbied congress to ban tiktok (free market capitalism amirite? Paying off your local congressmen to suppress the competition is totally what the free market is about) but nothing else is like TikTok

A few users: what about xiaohongshu? It’s the Chinese version of tiktok (not quite, douyin is the chinese tiktok but it’s primarily for younger users so xiaohongshu was chosen)

16 hours later:

Tiktok as a community has chosen to collectively migrate TO a chinese owned app that is purely in Chinese out of utter spite and contempt for meta/x and the gov that is backing them.

My fyp is a mix of “i would rather mail memes to my friends than ever return to instagram reels” and “i will xerox my data to xi jinping myself i do not care i share my ss# with 5 other people anyway” and “im just getting ready for my day with my chinese made coffee maker and my Chinese made blowdryer and my chinese made clothing and listening to a podcast on my chinese made phone and get in my car running on chinese manufactured microchips but logging into a chinese social media? Too much for our gov!” etc.

So the government was scared that tiktok was creating a sense of class consciousness and tried to kill it but by doing so they sent us all to xiaohongshu. And now? Oh it’s adorable seeing this gov-manufactured divide be crossed in such a way.

This is adorable and so not what they were expecting. Im sure they were expecting a reluctant return to reels and shorts to fill the void but tiktokers said fuck that, we will forge connections across the world. Who you tell me is my enemy i will make my friend. That’s pretty damn cool.

The way that Dracula started subtly at first but he's been slowly and lovingly stripping the agency away from Jonathan every single day for weeks and weeks taking away his sleep his personal space his privacy destroying his belongings gaslighting him making him isolate himself from loved ones making him seek refuge from danger in Dracula's mercy and now taking away not just his means of communication but his very identification. The way that everything that once made him Jonathan Harker now belongs to Count Dracula. The way that his name isn't even his own anymore so he might as well forget it

Baby’s First Year… 1 month:

[She-hulk, the great jade giantess herself, stands outside in the middle of a sunny New York winter afternoon, across the street from an imposing yet nondescript office building complex]

She-Hulk: * shifts the the cooler bag on her shoulder in order to check the building address that was texted to her burner phone: she is in the right location but she is still in denial* “this can’t be the right place, can it?”

She-Hulk: *now inside this ginormous bio-medical building, currently walking through a dark and clearly deserted lobby area towards an elevator, still skeptical* “usually he’s hunkered down in the sewer system or some abandoned subway station… but this, is um, quite the step up…”

She-Hulk: *on an upper floor now, phone flashlight on and her guard up, going carefully down the hallway past empty, dark, medical office after empty, dark, medical office* “it’s still really creepy in here, though… not to mention, did he really have to be so cryptic over text?”

She-Hulk: *finally coming to a stop in front of a bank of ominously darkened lab rooms with floor to ceiling observation windows that bounce her phone’s light back at her* “I mean, what on earth does he need baby formula, five bags of blood, and ‘Legal advice’ for? The blood makes sense, I guess, but there rest? Also, Isn’t he usually asleep at 11 o’clock in the morning?”

She-Hulk: *taking a deep breath before using her light to look through each lab window, she’s not exactly sure what she’ll find … but she knows it’ll be obvious once she’s looking at it * “*sigh* Honestly, what am I getting myself into?”

????: *weakly, a tired, almost anemic sounding voice can be heard from one lab down from where She-Hulk is currently looking* “Ms. Walters? You actually came…”

She-Hulk: *startled, turns her phone light towards the sound, she catches two red eyes in its gleam… * “Michael?!”

She-Hulk: *She bursts into the room, frantically feeling for the light switch on the wall, next to the door; she pauses as the lights reveal the room to her* “Michael!! What the heck is going on…”

Morbius: *Eyes squinted from the sudden brightness, dark five o’clock shadow against pale sweaty flesh, strapped down to a gurney with a nylon belt four fingers wide, blue-black thermal suit haphazardly rolled down to his waist, chest hair matted slick in places from multiple small still oozing wounds* “Jennifer Walters, Truly you are μια υπέροχη πράσινη θεά…”

She-Hulk: *Surprise quickly turns into concern which slowly begins fading into her family’s favorite emotion as she scrolls through her mental list of medical wackos who might do something like this* “Michael Morbius! You have five seconds to explain what’s going on and why you look like the Monty Python rabbit attacked you!

Morbius: *further lowering the volume of his exhausted voice in hopes that She-hulk might mirror him while furtively glancing at something on the floor on the other side of his gurney* “Ok! Ok… if you would just give me one of those blood bags, I can tell you in three, but please… be quieter… we just got the baby down to sleep”

She-Hulk: *moving into the room so she can follow his gaze, also lowering her voice* “Baby ?”

[Her phone light freezes on a questionable sight: on the floor is The Lizard, in just his tattered clothes, breathing softly with eyes seemingly wide open (save for the subtle discoloration of nictitating membranes) curled protectively around a small, pale, sleeping infant swaddled in a grubby lab coat. The baby has sweet little wisps of blond hair , a crusty ring of red encircling his tiny precious lips, and little pudgy fists which are tightly clasped around the tip of The Lizard’s tail.]

She-hulk: *mostly to herself under her breath as she observes the kid* “huh, well that explains the baby formula… hold on, is that-“

Morbius: *interrupting her train of thought, bloodlust starting to cloud his hushed tone, even starting to struggle against his bindings* “yes, tis exactly what you think it is, now how about that blood bag?”

She-Hulk: *remembering the rest of the stuff in her cooler bag, fishing a packet out for him, thinking to add an i.v. tube as a straw before handing it to him; quietly taking note to wait for him to finish before she undoes the straps on him* “oh! Right! Here…”

[one blood bag later, in one room over]

She-Hulk: *looking expectantly at Morbius* “So… is it yours…or?”

Morbius: *no longer restrained and now sitting back in a chair, his wounds already closed up but trying to clean the remaining blood off his chest with anti-septic wipes before he pulls his thermal suit back up, not really looking at She-Hulk while speaking; he’s embarrassed he almost went off on her* “No, not mine biologically…”

She-Hulk: *Jokingly feinting shock * “What? you’re telling me that you and The Lizard didn’t whip that little cutie up in the lab? He looks soooo much like you and Martine…”

Morbius: *bristles at the comment but continues trying break up the matted blood and spittle in his chest hair* “We share some similarities… but no, he is a foundling, whatever ‘Parents’ he had decided to drop him on our doorstep 3 weeks ago.”

She-Hulk: *A bit more serious now* “Oh. I see…How old was he on arrival?”

Morbius: *pausing for a moment, trying to recall but sleep deprivation makes it so much harder * “Hngmm, between Strange and I during our visit last week, we were able to place him at having arrived around a week or so old, give or take a day…”

She-Hulk: *pretty sure the baby looks well over a few weeks old currently…* “I take it he’s not a ‘traditional vampire’ then?”

Morbius: *finally looks up her direction, there is a thousand yard length to his stare; clearly more than just one bag was needed to shake off the rest of his anemia* “Correct, as I stated before, we have ‘similarities’… which Dr.Strange was able to confirm for me during our visit last week. Also, before you ask: if I had to guess, his mother was probably one of Theocritus’ test subjects during the blood hunt, she was probably cured along with the rest of them during her pregnancy but the antidote must not have passed to the child…”

Morbius: *heavily, as if delivering a most grave diagnosis; after which he returns to attending to his chest* “which means, as far as we can tell, he was born like this.”

She-Hulk: *taking that conclusion with the full weight of what she knows about Morbius’ history, plus the grain of salt that is sleep deprivation; She decides to put on her ‘public defender hat’ and start gently steering this conversation to the part she’s been most curious/worried about* “huh, ok… that’s a pretty good explanation of everything, very… succinct. Yep, totally explains two thirds of your text; which I really didn’t understand why you sent to me at first. but… I think I’m starting to get an idea of why, so I’m just going to ask some clarifying questions about that last third: so, what exactly do you need legal advice on?”

Morbius: *finally giving up his cleaning efforts in grouchy exasperation* “Is it not obvious? I wish to know where I stand on Guardianship for το μικρό μύρο, what legal steps must I next take?”

She-hulk: *relieved but still kind of perplexed/startled; also beginning to notice a new problem* “Oh! Thank god, yeah no that makes sense! That’s actually very pragmatic thinking there, Michael. But, I think there’s just a… few little problems with my ability to answer that question…”

Morbius: *slow on the up take and not a fan of where this is going; She-hulk’s legal advice hasn’t steered him wrong, yet… * “Problems?”

She-hulk: *puts up a finger as she lists each problem* “well for one, I only passed the bar in California, which won’t really help in New York… two, I’m a Criminal Defense lawyer not a Family or Immigration Lawyer… three, the baby is technically a US citizen while your legal citizenship is, at best, dubious… , and Four-“

Morbius: *Exhausted, fangs gritted like a dam to hold back the bitter tears welling up behind bloodshot red eyes. his despair demands that he stop her; upon finishing he dramatically hangs his head in his hands in as an expression of tired defeat* “Ok! Ok! I get the point! But you can not tell Morbius that it would not be different if anyone else had found him!! Morbius, and only Morbius, knows what that child will go through! And! And, only… I will be the one to save him from it…”

She-hulk: *Talking in the third person is a bad sign with him, it definitely means she struck a nerve… she-hulk pauses a moment to choose her next words carefully: firm but gently she says* “hey… hey… I wasn’t trying to ‘make a point’ about anything. I am sorry I got carried away, but what I want you to know is that getting the answers to all these questions first is actually going to be your next step. Unfortunately, I am just not equipped to give you these answers right now; but I am willing to take some time… and ask some friends… and and eventually get back to you on this, ok?”

[no response from Morbius]

She-hulk: *concerned, decides maybe he’s being sulky* “do you hear me Michael? I promise I’m going to help you, ok?”

[ when she still receives no response from him, she gets up from her chair and carefully goes over to check on him]

She-Hulk: *tries to get his attention verbally first, but when he still doesn’t respond she tries snapping her fingers near one of his sensitive pointy ears* “Michael?” *snap* *snap*

She-Hulk: *surprisingly still no response, so she checks his vitals: pulse is steady and so is his breathing… which can only mean one thing: he’s just sleeping; albeit while still seated stiff as a board in his position of despair* “wait a minute… what?! Do you really go into rigor-mortis when you fall asleep?? Goddamnit Michael…”

She-Hulk: *incredulous but not surprised, she decides to let him rest* “You know what? I’ll just text him later tonight to make sure he understands that I’m gonna help… until then, though, I’ll see myself out…”

[part 1 of 6]

i know vitamin c basically neutralizes adhd meds but lemonade good

basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out. 

unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.