People Say The Brucie Wayne Persona Isn’t Believable But If I Caught Bruce Wayne Drunkenly Lying Under

Bird hybrid!Gaz, tending to a little thing with a broken wing. (Might have been his fault when trying to catch the darling thing) Feeding the agitated little thing and cooing gently, even as their feathers are ruffled and bristled up on the one good wing. The other splinted and resting gently on a pile of pillows and commandeered bedding from the other men. He's been wanting a little mate after all.

@goatgoesmbe @xxundeadfanboixx

Hope this cheers someone up

Saw someone on tiktok call the handle at the back of a vest a bitch strap.

Made me think of this.

Everyone on base jokes that it's a good thing there's the bitch straps, everyone must be having to grab Johnny by it and tugging him back from bad decisions.

Soap thinks the truth is hilarious but keeps his mouth shut because he'd like to keep his teeth. The only time he is ever really grabbed by it is usually when someone pulls him back for a hug, or to steal his food.

Ghost however is a whole different story. Having a talk and the guy is an arse? Prices hand is resting on that strap, ready to yank him back of needed.

Gaz has yanked him back from running into a burning building. Soap yanks it when Ghost needs to check himself.

And the most humiliating part? Ghost reacts. The strap is tugged and he switches to docile. The pavloved the bitch strap to have meaning

did i tell u guys i got into an argument on twitter bc i said foxes are dogs and someone tried to bring up their actual fuckin. classification or whatever and i just said “foxes are dogs cause they are fluffye” and they kept arguing with me. the entire time i was like “you will not survive the immigration to tumblr you are lucky we are not there right now”

headcanon that the bat kids have a shared note on their phones called "shit bruce says that's technically not a lie but is INCREDIBLY misleading"

examples include:

bruce, calmly sipping coffee while covered in bandages: "the mission went fine"

bruce, after disappearing for 3 days: "i was busy with work"

bruce, to a socialite asking about his kids: "they're very well-behaved"

bruce, after alfred finds him testing potentially lethal tech on himself: "the chances of catastrophic failure are statistically insignificant"

and the latest addition, from last tuesday:

tim: "did you seriously tell superman you were 'mildly inconvenienced' when you had THREE BROKEN RIBS?"

bruce, not looking up from his computer: "three broken ribs IS a mild inconvenience"

jason, walking past: "to fucking WHO?"

bruce: "language."

jason: "TO WHOM, then, you absolute psychopath?"

———

damian adds his own entry later that night:

"Father told me today that Grayson was 'somewhat enthusiastic' as Robin. This is the same Grayson who did a quadruple somersault off a skyscraper just to catch a hat that was blowing away from a civilian."

dick, reading over his shoulder: "in my defense, it was a really nice hat."

Dick remembered a word to say when people are yelling!! man, I wonder where he learned that...

He does get very upset when he learns it's bad to say,, Bruce isn't mad of course he thinks it's hilarious

Ghost, Farah and Gaz

You have a visitor who can’t help but love your shiny jewelry! Let’s gift him one - he’ll surely love it! (Fairy!Gaz)