Saw Someone On Tiktok Call The Handle At The Back Of A Vest A Bitch Strap.

yay!!!!

Los vaqueros y el 141 en el jaripeo

You like to crochet at night and simon likes to lay his head on your lap while you do so he let's you use his night vision goggles so you can still crochet while he falls asleep on your lap

nothing like a friendship based on the same traumas

10 year old Dick: "Bruce, when you get married, can I be the best man?"

Bruce: "Of course, chum."

---

12 year old Dick: "Hey Clark, do you think when you get married, I can be your best man?"

Clark: "I don't see why not."

---

25 year old Dick: "In my defence, I had no way of knowing you'd end up marrying each other."

The Batcave has a “Do Not Talk To Me” couch. It’s sacred. It’s unspoken. It’s real.

okay so. picture this:

the batcave has one couch. it's in the corner. it’s hideous. it’s like beige or green or something equally offensive to every one of their aesthetics. no one likes the couch.

and that is exactly why it became sacred.

because one night jason just. drops onto it. full gear. bleeding. absolutely done with life. says nothing. doesn’t even take off the helmet. sits there in silence for 3 hours and then leaves.

next week tim uses it. sits there post-mission. face in hands. someone tries to ask if he’s okay and jason throws a batarang at them.

and thus it began.

Rules of the Do Not Talk To Me Couch:

You sit there? No one speaks to you.

You cry? No you didn’t.

You eat cold noodles off your chest at 4 a.m.? That’s sacred time.

If someone tries to comfort you? They are excommunicated for 12 hours.

Dick (sitting on the couch):

Damian: Grayson, are you—

Jason (from across the cave): HE’S ON THE COUCH.

Jason: I don’t make the rules.

Steph: You LITERALLY made the rules.

Jason: And I am the defender of the rules. There’s a difference.

one time damian storms in. covered in blood. absolutely furious. 10/10 rage goblin energy. throws his sword. marches to the couch. sits. arms crossed. steaming.

tim takes one look at him and goes: “i’m making tea.”

jason: “that’s acceptable. tea is allowed. talking is not.”

bonus:

once bruce sits on it.

and the ENTIRE CAVE goes silent.

tim literally freezes mid-typing. cass stops mid-flip. jason just mutters “oh shit.”

they all leave. immediately.

the couch is not ready for bruce.

extra bonus:

alfred vacuums around the couch. never says a word. leaves snacks in a silent offering. once placed a weighted blanket gently on jason’s shoulder. that’s different. he’s allowed.

I learned to draw him now I put him in angsty situations 🫶

Wrote this in one sitting lol

You always call Simon by a nickname. Your favorites are "hun", "bubba", and "love". He pretends to be exasperated with you using them, but he doesn't hide the tiny smile that creases his eyes.

"Hi bubba, how was your day at work?"

"Love, can you hand me the garlic powder from the shelf, please?"

"Looking so handsome today, hun."

Simon associates your nicknames with good things and loving emotions. He doesn't remember the last time he heard his name from you outside the bedroom.

"Simon, can you come here please?"

It's as if a cold bucket of ice water is dumped over his spine and he freezes. He's been sitting in his home office filling out reports and filing paperwork while you did your own thing to keep yourself busy. The pen in his hand almost bleeds ink onto the paper before he catches himself and lifts the tip up before shakily setting it down and off to the side. As he pushes himself out of his chair, Simon's brain is working overtime asking himself what he did to upset you. Did he forget an important date? Was he neglecting you and not caring for your needs? Did you just not love him anymore?

That last one carried his feet quicker into the living room where you sat watching TV, your back facing him. As soon as he makes his presence known though, you turn around in your seat and flash him that brilliant and heart-stopping smile of yours, no underlying emotions hidden underneath as far as Simon's aware.

"Come sit, hun! GBBO is showing the episode with Michael Sheen!" You softly pat his usual spot on the sofa right next to you. He searches your face for a beat with furrowed brows, clocking in on your use of a nickname this time. He doesn't make a sound as he practically glides over to plop down next to you, thoughts still swimming and hardly paying any attention to the screen in front of him.

"Si? You okay?" Your voice brings him back and he looks over to your confused face, eyebrows creased in slight worry. He huffs and debates letting it go as you've gone back to using your pet names, but he wants his communicating skills to be better for you, so he sucks in a shaky breath and let's it out in quiet admission.

"Are you upset with me?"

You tilt your head, brows furrowing even deeper as you immediately shake your head. "No? Why would I be, have you done anything that would make me upset?"

Simon in turn also shakes his head. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything, but he can't go back to being quiet now that you know something is up. "I just... You- you used my name when y'called me. Y'never use my name, only those silly nicknames."

Your brows unfurl in understanding and he watches as your lips twitch upward in amusement. "Oh Si, is that what this is about? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you."

You gently take both his trembling hands in yours and squeeze them softly, not looking away as you continue. "I'm not upset with you, bubba. I didn't realize just how much I've been calling you anything other than your name and you got so used to it."

A huge boulder was lifted off his shoulders as he sighed in relief, then huffed in embarrassment. "Guess I overreacted a bit, yeah?"

You smirked, teasing. "A little, but I'm happy you told me. Feels nice to talk about things instead of bottling everything up, right?" You poke at his chest lightly and he chuckles with you, agreeing wholeheartedly.

"I wanna be like you when i grow up" "You wanna be better than me, Johnny"

How does Ghost see himself compared to Soap?