The Taxidermied Goat Is My Main Google Acc’s Pfp

Diary entry #23

Tw sui and general panic (?), transphobia

Oh shit oh fuck they've banned HRT for minors. I'm not a minor but the amount of damage they'll be able to do to minors scares the fuck out of me. If you are a minor who's trans and wants to take HRT, I am so so sorry.

I'm a diagnosed autistic adult, what if they take it away from me too??? I don't know how I could survive that. I don't think I could. If that comes on the news, they may as well be sharing the date that I'll die.

I hope it doesn't come to that. I fucking hate Trump and his goons so much.

I'm hoping I can do DIY HRT if it comes to that. If they ban it for autistic adults, it's not automatically a death sentence, but I can see the way that it could lead to my death and thousands of others.

I don't really want to think about it, but what choice do I have? This is my future!

If I didn't procrastinate my moving out so much, maybe I would've been okay.

I hope the ACLU or something saves us. I can only hope.

I live in -misery- (missouri) and i dont think I can ever move so that’s fun. Illinois is so fucking close but I can’t move there!! Help me!!

For my Americans out there, here is a map with the safest states for trans folk. These are the states that have the most laws in place to specifically protect trans people.

Maryland is currently the safest, here is an article about it.

t.co

Maryland Governor Declares Maryland A Trans Sanctuary State

Maryland is the 12th state to enact policies that refuse compliance with out of state laws that target transgender people. Governor Wes Moor

Tw family stuff, dysphoria, sui ig

-

-

-

Diary entry #6

My mood switched up so fast it's not even funny. Like 1 1/2 hours ago I was perfectly fine but now my grandma yelled at my sister and now I am doing awful. The funny part? I don't even 100% know what they were arguing about or even if they did argue for as long as I think they did, because I was listening to Dance Of Life by Maretu for as long as I could to avoid it.

She snapped at me too, even though it wasn't that bad it won't stop replaying in my head. She acts just like one of those bitchy high school girls, eye rolling and all and it fucking pisses me off. I should be grateful but I'm not because they (my grandpa and grandma) refuse to let me on T or- god forbid- even cut my hair. I can't even dress somewhat masculine because I look like a (d slur). Like 98% of the time they're okay to good, but those 2% moments make me wish I weren't alive.

I just want to be out of the house already. I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I can't live like this. I just can't. I don't like how I look and my body repulses me because it's not right and I can't do a damn thing about it.

I need to calm down but I don't know how.

@glurblr and @raineboweclispe

Ten things

Last song listened to-

Hey Rich Boy by The Millionaires (lol)

Favorite color-

Navy blue, mint green

Last book read-

American Teenager (really good btw!! About trans teenager experiences in America)

Last TV show watched-

Gravity Falls

Sweet/spicy/savory-

Savory for the most part if I understood the question right!

Relationship status-

Single 😔

Last thing I googled-

"News for today" i like to stay informed

Current obsession-

PVZ (please help me it's the only thing I think about)

Looking forward to-

Getting out of my house where I'm not accepted

Got this recommended to me today because I follow #hrt (as in hormone replacement therapy) but this is pretty awesome as well lol

this is what horse race tests is right

I need to start T literally yesterday

i just wanted to say that i love you if you want or you've gotten bottom surgery. people are so cruel about trans, intersex, gnc and other folks who want to get bottom surgery for one reason or another, whether it's to ease dysphoria or simply because they want to, people love to rip into that person and tell them that bottom surgery will make them undesirable and will be disgusting.

this literally just isn't true- the results of your bottom surgery are not guaranteed to be botched or horrific to behold. we have been practicing these surgeries for 100 years of recorded history and the results only improve over time as we learn new techniques and breakthoughs in technology help us improve even further. bottom surgery isn't new, it's something that's been practiced for a long time. many of the advances in the tech have come from cisgender people who need bottom surgery as well- trans people are not the only people who end up needing surgeries to modify their genitalia.

someone who wants bottom surgery isn't gross. there's nothing gross about it. reducing someone to their genitals yet again is a dead ringer that you are transphobic and intersexist. someone who got bottom surgery doesn't deserve to be reduced to their genitals yet again- they're a person with genitals. a person first. and so many people are willing to leave trans folks who have gotten bottom surgery out of trans positivity posts or act like they just straight up don't exist

so here's to every person who has gotten a phalloplasty, metoidioplasty, and/or a vaginoplasty. i'm proud of you for doing the right thing for you and your body no matter what people say. you're not gross. there's nothing wrong with your genitals. people should not be obsessing over your genitals, they're your business, and they do not define you as a person. you deserve to be able to modify your body in ways that make you feel at home in it, no matter how much that disgusts a stranger who means nothing to you.

Diary Entry #11

Cw politics and sui again

I don't know what I can or should say about Trump winning. There is not a single word in the English dictionary that can express how angry I am, how disappointed I am at my fellow man. I've thought some pretty awful thoughts recently, both towards myself and towards others.

I do consider just ending my life sometimes, but I'm not going to be another statistic. I can't be. Unless I am truly backed into a corner, I'm not going to consider it an option just yet.

I hope these next 4 years will blow over, that we'll be okay, but I really fucking doubt it at this point. I thought the race was going to be close, that we stood a chance. But apparently all my hoping was for nothing.

My grandpa stayed up for a considerable amount of time watching Fox News, waiting for swing states to close, hoping that Trump won. I'm still pretending to be a conservative, but I'm afraid the hatred for that system of ideas will shine through somehow and that my cover will be blown.

I hardly can look my grandparents in the eyes right now. They voted red down the ballot. There's nothing I can say to convince them.

At this point, I just hope that the people who voted for that fool are happy at the chaos they are going to bring. I hope they're happy that the world is going to burn beneath us, hope they're happy that they're complicit in the suicides of trans people. Some of them probably are happy about the latter, but you know what I mean.

When the news first broke, I didn't feel much besides numb. But now I'm enraged, and probably will be for a long time. I just don't understand how it happened. All I'm hoping is that I can get out of my house before anything happens to get rid of my healthcare, but what about other people? They're still going to suffer. Woman and trans people will still suffer, really, everyone's going to suffer.

I don't know. Guess that's it for this entry.

Had to draw over this one, most real image I've ever seen in my life.

[ID: two images with the same caption, one drawn over by op with him in it replacing the original person. The caption reads "what I lack in penis size, I also lack in money and basic social skills" in both images. The original image is a GQ magazine picture with Ryan Gosling doing a pose. The new image has the trans flag in the background with op doing the same pose. /END ID]

Many such cases

(Based off a meme that I can't find anymore but like FTM edition)

[ID: a drawn meme featuring a transition timeline. The first picture is of a pre-transition trans man who has long-ish hair and dead green eyes. The caption above says "Saddest, most dead inside girl you've ever seen" and that same trans man much further along in his transition who has eyes with spark, is very muscular, and has short hair. The caption above him reads "Absolute giga-chad of a man. An actual statue of david in real life." /END ID]