Pairing: Scaramouche x Reader
Warnings: Jealousy, hickeys, suggestive
Kabukimono gives you lots of freedom. He's far too innocent to imagine others having indecent thoughts about you. He likes having your attention on him, don't get me wrong, but he won't actively try to get it. When he gets it, he's happy and he'll show you and tell you just how you make him feel at the moment. Likes to hold your hand because it makes him warm inside, not to show you off. Depending on how many betrayals he's been through, he'll get more insecure and dependent on you. His touches linger longer, his hugs get tighter, there's a questioning glint in his eyes - will you betray him too? You just have to keep distracting him from such thoughts and trust me, with your mere presence you're already doing something.
Fatui harbinger Scaramouche is the worst. He's quick to anger and thinks the worst when he sees you talking to anyone that isn't him, especially when they're male. In no time he's next to you, pulling you to him harshly and glaring at the one who had your attention. He will force himself into the conversation and this way he takes control of it and can end it easily any minute. If someone touches you and he sees it, he isn't above showing everyone you're his by kissing you, tongue and all. By the time he's finished with you, the unfortunate soul is usually gone and if not, a few biting insults from him do the trick. Loves to mark you on visible places and encourages you to not cover it. He's once thrown a fit when he saw you covering them with a scarf so unless you want to deal with grumpy annoyed Scara, just do what he wants.
Wanderer likes to remind everyone you're his every now and then. He has his moments when he get insecure and needs to give you at least a little mark but overall it's a big progress in comparison to his Fatui harbinger days. Reassurance goes a long way for him, as now your words will replay in his head whenever he feels unreasonably possessive over you. He's more mature now although if he's having a bad day, he can get unreasonably jealous. If that happens, please remind him of your love for him, show him with your actions that you won't leave him and he'll give you a night you won't forget anytime soon.
Cyno, Diluc, Al haitham, Itto y Ayato
By ngkhyn
small habits they start developing after getting into a relationship with you.
characters; cyno, tighnari, scaramouche, nilou
; gn! reader, fluff, man I love sumeru
usually, CYNO pays no mind towards multiple different fauna that he comes across during his missions. sure, he'd remove a few invasive fungi and whatnot, but nothing to note of. he deems them unnecessary to acknowledge as it doesn't have anything to do with his line of work and it should be left to forest rangers, researchers, or botanists—but after becoming your partner, he now subconsciously looks around for plants or flowers, maybe even mushrooms that could pique your interest, or look good on you. he doesn't know when this habit started, but the smile you offer him after graciously receiving his small random gifts makes him forget about everything else entirely. he's educated enough to know which are poisonous or not, so you needn't worry about receiving suspicious flora. scholar bf tings <3
general watchleader TIGHNARI is known to be a very organised and responsible individual, so having the irony of a lover who's incredibly clumsy was quite the comedic duo to his fellow peers. but overtime, they noticed he'd lessen his scoldings towards you, and that he slowly starts to adapt to your clumsiness like reflexively catching that vase you accidentally pushed, already having a medical kit prepared after you get back from an expedition or patrol, having an apology letter all written up and ready just in case you anger some important figures who you stumbled upon...it's endearing but all that completely disappears when he's faced with someone else! this leads to some being quite envious, even going as far as to ask tighnari why he's so lenient towards you—to which he frowns at and says "it's this feeling called love."
SCARAMOUCHE often gets annoyed when just about anything cries. he finds it pathetic for living beings to whine out loud when in some type of predicament. it's because the noise is annoying and definitely not about his past experiences. but after meeting you, this slight ick of his dimishes into thin air. when you cry to his shoulder, back, pr anywhere near him, he immediately stays quiet and provides a good pat on the head or two to calm you down. "it's just some weaklings. i'll kill them." he merely side eyes you when you sob out a "nooo". this habit branching from him comforting you eventually becomes a part of him. he no longer scowls or frowns when an animal or person cries, even comforting them sometimes. this revelation tells him something, that perhaps, he had a heart after all. you just awakened it. or is he just being hopeful?
as a dancer, NILOU overcomes stage fright by full-on ignoring the crowd's stares, not wanting nervousness to take over her sense and possibly mess up the presentation of art she deeply cherishes. she doesn't know why, but even before you became her lover, she often found herself looking for [e/c] hues in the crowd before her. it became a habit really quickly after knowing you were an avid enjoyer of her dances. she wanted to impress you, to let you know of the beauty within her dances, for you to see her in a way that mesmerizes you, to relay her feelings of dedication towards this performance and capture your heart with it. she wanted you to see her, the one putting her all onto this performance, not only to spread the beauty of such art, but to show you her true self. this cute habit of hers to impress you is still present, even after you guys became a thing.
ft. aether, al-haitham, cyno, wanderer
2k words, fluff, themes of marriage, gn! reader; inspired by that meme asking guys what they would do if they married someone who earns 800k a year
AETHER – whose qualifications are outmatched only by his love
When Aether finally retired from the adventuring life, many have warned him that the domestic life will make him even more of a busybody. Aether can see where they’re coming from now.
But there’s an overarching peace he feels when all he’s going through recipe books with Paimon and watering the plants in the morning. Sometimes, while you’re out for work and he’s at home, he gets a weird moment where he wonders if this is what it’d feel like if he hadn’t retired and you were at home instead.
Then he remembers that him running across Teyvat while you had your own career back home was exactly how your relationship worked before he settled down for good.
When he’s out buying groceries, rookie adventurers would recognize him as the retired hero of Teyvat and eagerly ask for advice – to which Aether accidentally gives more advice about cooking and budgeting than on battles or domains.
“If you’re an adventurer on a budget, you might be tempted to run a tab on the diners you visit, like Good Hunter,” Aether says as he compares the ripeness of two tomatoes at the grocery. The rookies surround him with bated breath, awaiting every word of his advice.
“It’s more sustainable to just buy ingredients and cook simple meals in the long run. Also I’m more a fan of butter than oil to fry, but my partner says otherwise. It’s up to you.”
With a wink, he walks away, leaving a group of stunned but curious adventurers behind to fanboy about the hero of Teyvat buying groceries.
Aether is an amazing cook. It’s also how he calms down. Following a recipe, pouring care into every ingredient and step, and the sounds and smells of the kitchen all remind Aether of what home means to him.
Making sure you’re eating healthy is how he cares for people. He won’t be shoving food down your gullet, but should you have trouble with eating well from stress or anything, he’s sweet in a persistent way, slowly encouraging you through every bite and making sure you’re snacking well during all-nighters.
Not to mention that with his Anemo and future Hydro powers combined, he’ll make quick work of cleaning house, if you aren’t living in the Teapot (which is likely anyways, because Aether wants a real house for some stability).
You worried at first that he would feel cooped-up if he just stayed at the house. Thankfully, Aether will never run out of friends to visit or hijinks to jump into; such is his luck, really. A lot of his friends still find it jarring when Aether, renowned warrior and hero, can go on and on about the importance of a clean kitchen and what makes a good rice. He once had a discussion with Tighnari, Noelle, and Thoma on healthy cooking that lasted from night to morning.
“The hero is a kept man,” his companions would sigh with amusement at the lovestruck sparkle in Aether’s eyes whenever he talks about you.
He likes going on outdoorsy trips with you should you have the time: fishing by the lake, hiking the mountains of Jueyun Karst, or camping under the stars while chewing on adventurer food.
There’s nothing quite like coming home every night and seeing Aether and Paimon with handkerchiefs tied over their heads, dusting the room while the smell of dinner permeates the house. It’s like the skies have parted for the sun when he happily exclaims, “You’re back!”
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— You're the only one who's allowed to touch him. Likewise, he's the only one that's allowed to touch you.
— Childe, Pantalone, Scaramouche, and Dottore
[Masterlist]
Love Language Series | Touch [ Here ] | Actions | Time | Words | Gifts
This is written before the Sumeru quest. Harbingers are their own warning.
This was a fever dream, incredibly self-indulgent, don't talk to me about this ok. Honestly don't even wanna tag people in this (´。_。`)
Childe is friendly but he always keeps himself at arm's distance from anyone who isn't his family. The kind of guy that acts like he loves everyone but he truly doesn't like anyone. Always polite but never kind. He won't be outwardly hostile if one of the cicin mages decides she wants to try her luck and cuddle up to him, he sort of admires her bravery, but the hardened stare and indifferent response are awkward enough for anyone to bail halfway.
So what a surprise to everyone when it's Childe himself that pulls you into him. It's not a friendly hug either, he quite literally drags you into his embrace as soon as he sees you, locks his arms around your waist, and spins you around. Before he catches himself and gently settles you down and pretends as if he didn't boldly announce to everyone that you're special.
He is a harbinger at the end of the day so any intimate relationships he has need to be hidden lest he puts you in danger. That said, he doesn't do a very good job. He gets agitated and fidgety if he can't hold you, longing gazes in your direction even if someone else is speaking to him about something important. Whether it's shooing specks of dust off your shoulder, a tap on the arm, or the brief brush of your fingers against his whenever he hands something to you. He always finds some way to touch you.
It's always the worst and best time to speak with Childe if you happen to be there. On the upside, Childe is more likely to give his approval to whatever his subordinates ask just so they go away and leave you both alone. On the downside, because physical touch somehow makes Childe drowsy and almost drunk, he's useless.
It wasn't always like this. During your first months as something more than friends, not quite lovers, he kept you at an arm's distance just like everyone else. Only the occasional arm over your shoulder or a hand on the small of your back, just enough to show you that you meant something to him. But over time, those touches began to linger until the dynamic shifted and he began to rely on your touches to keep him sated. On particularly stressful days, he'll pull you aside into his office with a rushed excuse to just hold you in his lap. He's recharging, don't make tease him.
But he's not a selfish lover. If you need comfort or just want to be held, he'll gladly throw his plans out the window just to spend time with you. What's wrong? Did someone upset you? Want me to take care of them? He'll offer anything to make you feel better while you're cuddled up to him and it makes his heart flutter when you say you just want to stay beside him. He has a bad habit of resting his entire weight on top of you if you're both ever lying down. All that muscle is heavy but sometimes it's comfortable until his elbow accidentally digs into your side.
Childe can be polite if someone else wants to touch him but he's baring his teeth at anyone that has the audacity to place their hands on you. If someone bumps into you? He's fine, accidents happen. Someone moves you to the side? Whatever he won't throw a fit over that. He believes in the below-the-shoulder, above-the-waist, hands not included, rule. If anyone touches you, it's the only time when Childe will throw his reputation out the window.
Scaramouche likes to compare him to a dog and he'll gladly growl and bark if that's what it takes for people to get the hint and leave you alone. He'll slide his arms around your waist, tilt your chin up, and without any concern about the scene that this will cause, kisses you deeply. All the while sending the nastiest glare to the person that touched you. Look, don't touch. You're his.
Childe likes to believe that he has self-restraint. He's a soldier first and foremost so he has discipline beaten into his bones. But right now he's close to snapping the pen in his hands and hurling it into that bastard's forehead. He can feel Ekaterina's concerned gaze on him, shifting on her feet nervously, as she struggles to push through her explanation of his assignment quickly. Unfortunately, it's all white noise to Childe as all of his attention is on the cicin mage whose being a bit too friendly for his liking.
"Lord Tartaglia?"
Of course, you don't blink twice at it. He's seen how that loud electro pirate dotes on you and is overly physically affectionate herself. Maybe he should also fight her as well after he's done dealing with this cicin mage.
"Childe?" Ekaterina tries one last time, using a more familiar name to see if that would catch her superior's attention but alas, he was too busy glaring daggers into her college. Ekaterina raises a hand to lightly tap on her superior's shoulder to get his attention but just as her fingertips brush against the fabric of his uniform, Childe's death glare is directed at her. She flinches away from the otherwise easy-going Childe, her mask doing little to hide her startled expression.
"Sorry, sorry, not meant for you," Childe blinks away the hate from his ocean eyes, coming to his senses as he runs a hand through his hair, "What were you saying?"
"There is no need to apologize, Lord Tartaglia, I overstepped," Ekaterina, bless her heart, waves off the sudden aggression but takes a step back. Before she can continue, she overhears you saying goodbye to the mage and your footsteps coming closer. A small surprised noise escapes your chest as Childe pulls you into his arms immediately. If she didn't know Childe, she could almost say his expression was a bit cute with how pouty he was being. Although the look in his eyes says otherwise now that she was just on the receiving end. This seems to be a common occurrence because you just giggle and hug him back just as tightly.
"Please don't harm her. She was just being nice," you mumble into his chest.
"I'll think about it," he says, his eyes never leaving the mage.
On the one hand, the banker always carries this prestige that makes most people stay away in awe. No one wants to get on the wrong side of the man who basically funds the country of Snezhnaya. On the other hand, Pantalone has an ethereal beauty that compels people to come closer and touch. To see if the porcelain skin is real, feel if he's muscular or lean under the heavy fabric, or sneak a peek at what colour the banker's eyes are. It makes you kind of giddy knowing that this man belongs to you. That you know the answer to all these speculations.
You aren't sure when it started happening but at some point, he always ends up sort of mindlessly touching him. Placing a hand on his arm or knee, running your fingers through his hair, or gently rubbing away the stress from his shoulders. There wasn't an ulterior motive, Pantalone was just too handsome that you can't help but touch him just to make sure he's real. He thought you were overexaggerating a bit but he seemed deeply pleased at your confession since it was coming from you personally. That egotistical bastard.
But he always reciprocated your touch. Offering an arm for you to hold onto, brushing the hair out of your face, or rubbing small circles into your hand. Small gestures of affection would occasionally lead to more. The fact that Pantalone of all people let you be this close was something you secretly prided in yourself. You couldn't help but rub his newfound privilege in front of anyone that got too close that this elegant man was yours to hold. Look all you want but you're the only one that gets to touch.
You weren't aware of Pantalone's level of aversion to touch until he almost caused a scene at a gathering. It was meant more for looks and reputation, the occasional business talk, but overall a lax evening. One of the ladies thought it would be a good gesture to place her hand against Pantalone's arm. A bit flirty but innocent enough that the sheer disdain that swirled in Pantalone's eyes made her flinch away surprised. He struck her hand away, the sound carrying through the now-silent ballroom as everyone turned to the sound. You were surprised as well that Pantalone of all people, the image of control and ever-smiling, lips turned down into a repulsed scowl. Your feet quickly moved over to him, quietly excusing the woman for her careless act, and ushering her away before anything escalated. No one spoke of that night.
Ever since then you've always kept your hands firmly glued to your sides lest you feel his anger. If you happened to brush against his finger you would splutter out apologies and scamper away. If you felt his hand hover near you, you always assumed you were in the way and quickly moved aside for him. Overall, you acted as if it was you that was uncomfortable with touch. With each passing day that you fled from his hand, the crease in Pantalone's frown grew deeper.
It comes to a head one night when you get to see how Pantalone's aversion to touch applies to you as well. Occasionally some wealthy noble will host a gala and as one of the Tsaritsa Harbingers, Pantalone will be required to be present for at least one of them. Given his status, most of the attendees flock over to him which leaves poor you to meander about and find something to do with the time. Despite being his lover, you're not privy to what goes on with his work and frankly, the business talk and parties bore you. At least these places have food.
He sees you conversing with a man he knows is from Liyue, hoping to find more investors and trade partners here in Snezhnaya. He's already spoken to the man and rejected his offer so that's most likely why he's speaking to you, the banker's partner to garner sympathy. Although from the looks of things, you don't seem that impressed either. You notice his stare, perhaps his expression betrays him because your eyes grow concerned before giving a polite bow and turning to walk away and to him. If that was all then perhaps tonight wouldn't have ended so badly.
The man grabs your arm painfully enough for you to whimper and that's all Pantalone needs. He doesn't even try to hide his expression behind a smile, his lips set into a straight line. He grabs the man's arm tightly, the leather of his gloves crinkling from the force, and he nearly breaks the man's arm. How dare this inferior social climber put his filthy hands on you. You have to plead with him to let the man go, desperately trying to pry his grip away as the businessman begs the Harbinger on his knees that he didn't know.
Pantalone-
Pantalone is pissed.
You've never seen him this angry before. The lady all those nights ago doesn't even compare close to the anger radiating off him. His fingers flex still as he leads you away into an isolated hallway. You're not even sure if he knows where he's going, completely blindsided by rage. So you quickly step closer and throw your arms around him, stopping him in his tracks as you bury your face into the soft fabric of his suit.
"It's okay. I'm okay," you whisper softly into his back. You're not afraid, he won't get angry, not with you. Never with you. But it still pains you to see him this way. You feel more than you hear his deep sigh before slowly turning around and taking you into his arms. "Thank you. I didn't mean to start anything, you just looked displeased and I got worried. Oh, I'm sorry-"
You quickly move to shuffle out of Pantalone's hold but you can barely get two steps back before his touch grows firm and you're trapped. Despite how strong his hold is, he gently tilts your chin up so you can look into his pretty eyes. He really does have a nice eye colour you think in the back of your mind.
"You've been avoiding me. Care to enlighten me as to why that's the case? Did someone feed your mind with little lies?" Pantalone sounds coy but you can hear the undertone of worry. As if he's done something wrong which you quickly shake your head to.
"W-Well, that incident with the lady from a few weeks ago, the one in the red and black dress, you looked really angry when she touched you so..." you trailed off as your eyes look at anywhere that isn't the man in front of you, nervously twisting the cuff of your sleeve. When you actually hear it back it does sound a bit ridiculous to believe that but you just didn't want to make him uncomfortable. Or make him act a certain way just because you liked physical touch or to uphold appearances.
"And you thought you were comparable to people like that? That I would allow special treatment just because you were mine? That I would reciprocate to anyone but you?"
You fumble a bit at how honest his words are, searching for some way to justify yourself but at the end of the day, you'll knock your head against the wall for how stupid your logic is. So you stand on your tip toes and reach hesitantly up towards his face. Pantalone's face reminds neutral but he slowly leans into his touch, his muscles finally relaxing just by your touch.
How the hell he tolerates you is anyone's guess. How the hell you tolerate him is Celestia's guess. He has the worst attitude, is quick to anger, flaunts his authority wherever he goes, and is overall a terrible person to be around. Yet every time he looks over his shoulder, you're always one step away from kicking at his heels. Which you have accidentally done before and somehow survived so he must like you a smidge. You tell him it's because it's out of spite that you're still here and spite is a powerful feeling. He of all people should know.
Scaramouche despises anyone being within his personal space, which is already a pretty big range, so the idea of someone touching him is repulsive to him. If he somehow was in danger and someone touched him in order to save his life, he would probably throw a fit and shock them. Their only reward is that he doesn't kill them. It's not like he has to worry too much, no one really wants to be in his presence longer than they have to and any admirers are quickly turned off within the first couple of seconds. Which makes it all the more baffling that you still hang around him and test just how far you can poke his limits.
The first time you touched him was by accident. Someone had bumped into you causing you to fall into Scaramouche. Luckily for you, you managed to put your hands out first and brace yourself against the wall but you had successfully caged the Balladeer between your arms. If you weren't currently fearing for your life you might have laughed at the horrified expression on the Harbinger's face. The only reason you survived that day was that Tartaglia chose that exact moment to waltz in and frankly, he was a far bigger headache than you were.
He's not sure how you managed to worm your warm into his cold non-existent heart but at some point, he got used to your presence in his life. A few words to take care of himself, extra paperwork being filled, or shooing away other soldiers so he could have space. All of these acts of kindness were met with half-baked insults and suspicious looks. Every time he asked you why the hell you were acting like he was some helpless doll you always answered the same, you just felt like it and he looked like he kinda needed it. Which was so baffling to him that you managed to walk away with your head intact.
It started off with small things. Like you're both feral cats that are trying to co-exist in the same alleyway. You always announce your presence, give him enough time to leave, and your touch is barely there. You never do anything close to intimate, never hold his hand or hold his face, and he never reciprocates ever. Although it speaks volumes when he doesn't push you away ever. You're always nearby, sitting close, and you both exist contently.
But just like a feral cat, with enough time and love, even they will begin to grow comfortable and domesticated. The look on his subordinate's face was hilarious when little old you waltzed over to the sixth harbinger, plopped down into his personal space, and literally sprawled yourself over his lap to see what he was looking at. Just to one-up the absurdness, Scaramouche didn't seem bothered in the slightest, only calling you an idiot for not being able to read the document that was right in his hands.
Although there are some downsides to being so close to Scaramouche. He's possessive with the power the enforce his pride. You have to constantly scold him that he can't go frying anyone that comes within two feet of you. It's hardly efficient and it's annoying having to scream just to know what time it is.
The you from years ago would have balked at how casual you were speaking with the infamous Balladeer.
"All I'm saying is you sound like a possessive maniac," you huff, your arms crossing over your chest as you frown down at the sitting man. You doubt he's even paying attention to you because if he isn't throwing spite around then he's filtering you out of his mind. Scaramouche barely acknowledges your words, still fiddling around with the Electro Archon's gnosis. It gives off faint sparks of electro every time he rolls it over his fingers but he doesn't give any signs of pain. Maybe because he's an electro-user? Either way, he's obviously not listening to you. You let out a loud sigh before shrugging and turning on your heel to walk back into the camp. Suddenly, his hand shoots out and latches onto your wrist and he's yanking you down. The you from years ago would have fainted seeing you sprawled over your superior's lap. As your vision tilts to the sky you can't help but think that for such a small body, he sure has a lot of strength. He wears a bored expression, his other hand is cradling his head while his elbow is on his knee, before a nasty smirk makes its way over his face.
"Yeah? So what?" Scaramouch says, his hand stopping to firmly hold the gnosis, though now one of his hands is now settled on your hip. You blink. Huh, you...weren't exactly expecting the ever-prideful Balladeer to blatantly admit that.
"Well, the "what" is that it makes it incredibly inconvenient to talk to anyone. Everyone avoids me like the plague because their scared you're doing to kick down their door and attack them," you pout, grumpily adjusting your head to lay on his knee, "Also you need to eat more. You make a horrible headrest."
"That's fine. You won't need anyone else," he says dismissively.
You open your mouth to say something but the look in his eyes makes you falter. He's serious. A mixture of a past memory, the present moment of you both together, and a far-off dream all dance in his eyes. It's a look you've never seen before on Scaramouche's face despite how long you've worked under him and you can't help but be mesmerized by it. It's likely the first and last time you'll ever see him be honest. But it's quickly over as his eyes morph into snarky glee, his lips pulling into a mean grin.
"You look stupid."
People are downright terrified to even be in the same room as the infamous doctor. There's never a safe moment and anyone could be the next test subject depending on his mood. It doesn't matter who it is, even his own segments, if someone touches him that means they've just volunteered to be his next experiment. It's suffocating when Dottore is out and not locked in his lab because everyone need's to be hyperaware of where the doctor is located in the room. So to say that Dottore tolerates you is a massive understatement.
He actually quite likes to parade you around, almost like you're his newest addition to his collection. Touch isn't a problem for him if he's the one initiating it given how often he's dragging you around like you're some pet. He's not gentle in the slightest, nearly pulling your arm out in his crazed rush to show you his newest creation. You would joke and say that in moments like these, he's the one that acts like the pet. Too excited to show its owner its newest achievements. But you have a sliver of sanity in your mind so you keep your mouth shut.
Every moment with Dottore is a warped sense of time. You've been with the Doctor for a long time, before he became a Harbinger, and you don't know how your relationship progressed to this stage. You're walking on a tightrope of old colleges that are too intertwined with history to be separated or co-dependent individuals that need death to finally leave each other. So when he touches you softly, affectionally, you stumble and fall off your rope. The mad doctor laughing from above, arms still outstretched from where he's pushed you.
Half of it is madness, and half of it is out of genuine love. Although, to Dottore, madness and love are the same things. His acts of affection are spontaneous and equally as fleeting. One second he's rattling off medical terms and theories, pauses in his rant just to give you a deep kiss no matter who's around you to witness the act, and proceeds as if nothing happens. That's not to say you don't enjoy it when he decides to reward you, you just wished it wasn't in front of so many people. You suspect he does it on purpose.
There's no softness or quiet time aside from the very very few and far between moments Dottore decides to indulge you. He's a busy man, his mind only built for progress, and he has better things to do than to play pretend. But for you, the one who forcibly carved space into his heart, he can make arrangements. Only for a short while. Some days he may hold you as if you'll shatter if he squeezes any harder, other days he'll push your hair away from your eyes quietly, and one day he kisses you as if you're something more.
Unlike Dottore, you don't have an intimidating reputation. People can touch you if they want to. It makes you a bit happy when Childe will pat you on the back or ruffle your hair cheekily. He's also one of the few who can get away with it as well since Dottore can't physically harm him for touching you since he's a fellow Harbinger. Besides, people speak with their eyes more. Since that doesn't qualify as anyone touching you, Dottore won't do anything. So they stare.
They stare at how the Harbinger holds you in a special place. You aren't remarkable, you're the same as the rest of them. Yet you're untouchable and invincible from the man who can change their entire lives. Mistakes occur frequently when Dottore is in the room, the slip of a finger because everyone is too focused on staying out of the Doctor's way. You get to stand beside someone like that.
It's been a hard day. A very hard day. You're absolutely exhausted and ready to curl up into a ball as soon as you get to your room. You aren't even sure what exactly happened. One second you were doing your job and the next your head was on the ground with a pulsing pain on your right cheek. It's not unusual for patients to lash out but under those circumstances, they don't have anything to do with you intimately. You know what people think about your relationship with Dottore. What people who only glimpse into the relationship you have with him think. Usually, they stay silent, only judging you with their eyes but always silent. That is until nearly 10 minutes ago.
"You're late."
You barely react when you hear his voice. Of course, it's him. God, what bad timing. He's the last person you want to see right now, especially in this state. You only give him a nod and mumbled out apologies, stumbling over your feet like a newborn lamb when his hand latches onto your wrist to drag you off again. You think you might have his fingerprints as bruises now. Another thing people can mistakenly think about your relationship. You only know you're crying when you hear the splatter of your tears against the tiled floors and Dottore's footsteps come to a halt. His grip on you has gotten tighter.
You're startled out of your wallowing when warm hands cup your face, brushing your tears away. His gloves are off. When did he take them off? Dottore simply looks at you as you silently cry. You're too tired to apologize, too tired to break down in sobs. Your arms hang uselessly at your sides but you close your eyes and lean into his touch.
"Give me their name."
He whispers it softly. You think back at the girl that struck you. You think she's new, she has to be. You know that if you say her name, you won't see her tomorrow. But you're too tired right now. So with no hesitation, you volunteer her to become the next test subject.
reducing the strongest sorcerer into a whiny needy mess underneath you. riding him as he looks at you with a dazed expression + praising you
🧍🏽♀️
cw: f! reader, cowgirl, cocky gojo -> whiney gojo, overstim, unprotected, spanking, praise, 18+
gojo, your boyfriend who‘s insanely cocky— he literally doesn‘t know when to shut up sometimes, he just talks and talks, incredibly cocky, his drastic irksome ego was practically as just as big as his little friend between his legs.
the only way to really shut him up— is to just ride him. his words would only then turn into soft babbles and whimpers, leaning back against the bed as he watches your hips move and jerk and jostle against him—
his eyes were half-lidded, tiny pants leaving his lips before he mumbles a needy. “b-baby, you‘re so evil— you know i can‘t . . think straight with you ridin' me like that—fuckkkk.”
“i told you to stop talkin', satoru,” you spoke with a slight smug grin forming on your face— he‘s buried balls deep— his head slightly goes back, sweetened little whimpers slipping past his pink glossed lips, a hand covering his face— he was so so flustered, his ears burned— he was embarrassed. gojo satoru, the world‘s strongest sorcerer was here underneath you, whining and babbling all like a little bitch.
just because of those “evil” hips of yours he‘s no match for, despite all the people he’s fought. those hips of yours were definitely his biggest enemy. no doubt.
“. . . fuckkkkmefuckmefuck—y/nfuckkkk,” he gasps, white eyebrows furrowing, he brings a hand towards your ass—
he can‘t help but smack it again and again, encouraging you to keep up the pace— he was so dizzy, mouth starting to salivate, taking a few seconds to swallow before whining for you again. “making me f-feel so good, baby— don‘t stop, don’t stoppp— don’t . . ”
“i’m gonna stop making you feel good if you keep talking,” you mumbled, slowly grinding your hips against him. you giggled, watching him instantly shut up once you put a hand over his mouth— a tiny muffled whine vibrates against the palm of your hand.
a little . . . m—mpfh? leaving his lips.
gojo was a blabbermouth, so talkative in bed. he couldn’t help it, so it wasn’t exactly his fault— yet you always knew how to change that with the very movement of your hips against him. he laid back, manspread with both sides of his face growing hot.
you made him feel so good— so so good, his grunts that were low usually were whiney whimpers of cute babbles, his voice bouncing and shaking, matching with you going up and down against him.
“. . . oh— s—shit,” he moans, nervously laughing, his cock just thrusting in and out of you, the smile on his face fading once he‘s coming close, tip of his ears practically fuming with heat— hottttt. “gonna make me c—cum early, baby . . ? baby—”
“don’t be dramatic,” you softly smile, your voice a bit seductive—
just your teasing was enough to make him shoot inside you, so alluring it was unfair. you leaned in to kiss gojo— and he moans, the kiss was fairly sloppy, he moaned and whined into your mouth, breath hitching and getting caught in his throat, both big rough hands of his gripping your ass—
spanking it over and over and over as his right leg bounced— it was driving him crazy, almost as if your hips was on cruise control with the way your cunt moved against him— so sensually.
gojo‘s head leans back as you made out with him, your tongue softly grazing against his, he moaned at the sweet taste of your candied lip gloss, coating his lips with prints of it now.
“. . . mpfh—cummingbaby—cum—” he pants, pulling away, strands of spit departing, he whines, giving your ass a rough squeeze, hearing your pussy just squelch and make noise against him, his head is filled up with so much fog— and that’s when he came inside— shooting complete blanks, his mouth slightly opening, lips quivering and he whines a loud “ohmygodohmygodbaby,”
gojo‘s shaking— his orgasm was so violent he had to take a breath, his hands gripping your waist as you slowed down he‘s panting, heavy heavy pants,
his white lashes were half-lidded, completely fucked dumb— you rode him to such a state, he was practically speechless.
gojo wasn’t such a blabbermouth now.
no back talk.
Notes: When I think of these at night, I know it’s gonna hurt. Hopefully. Also, I was a stupid blubbering mess while writing cause I literally put my whole ussy into all of them. SUPER LONG parts so each character has their own part + paired music/songs :)
Summary: Some things in life just aren’t meant to be + angst tropes.
Warning/s: Some suggestive content and mild cursing
Theme/s: Angst, no comfort, heartbreak, and abandonment. Gn Reader
Characters: Kaeya
Parts: Albedo, Kazuha
Kaeya: Not Ready for Anything Serious
(We’ll Never Have Sex by Leith Ross)
“I’m not looking for anything serious.” Kaeya said, peeking over you behind the rim of his wine glass. You don’t look at him and only finish your drink, knowing where this exchange will lead you.
“Don’t worry.” You say. “Neither am I.”
That was the first interaction you shared with the Cavalry Captain- the first lie you’ve ever told each other. It was a day like any other, but you remember it clearly in your mind. You’re a traveler from around the world and you found yourself one day in the welcoming doorsteps of Mondstadts walls. You thought it best to stay in the city for a few nights until your next excursion; it was better than camping out in the wild anyways. There, you meet Kaeya- the very delightful captain from the Knights of Favonius- getting shit faced at Angel’s Share. You wanted to try Mondstadt’s famed Dandelion Wine and there Kaeya intrigued you as to invite you over to drink a few glasses of wine with him. As the night went on, as you two became more inebriated, you spilled out secrets and desires you never thought you could say out loud- even worse if you’re saying it to a stranger. However, Kaeya gave you a sense of security. He tore your walls down with his charm and way with words; maybe without alcohol, you would’ve done it anyways.
Kaeya listened to you ramble; how lonely you felt during your travels, how sick you were of those fleeting, loveless relationships you had from around the world, how you understood what it meant to be alone. He stared at you curiously and you swore you nearly wanted to kiss him then and there. Kaeya listened attentively, letting you speak your mind when those before him cut you off and said they didn’t want anything more.
“Well,” Kaeya started, setting down his glass. “If you’re here for a bit, do you wanna have some real fun?” You wanted to run then, to break the cycle from before and maybe throw your glass at him for wasting your time and for making you feel so vulnerable. But that was Kaeya’s specialty. If he wanted it, he got- and so, you went back with him that night.
How could you refuse his offer? Kaeya had a certain flair to him unlike any other. But he was also different from those before. With him, you felt alive almost- like you’re falling slowly among the clouds and you had nothing to worry about. Kaeya told you things that night, wonderful sugar-coated things, that made your heart flutter and stomach turn in flips. He made you feel loved and wanted you in ways you never thought someone could never show you. Then again, you haven’t really felt anything like this in the past, but you tried to savor it all, give it back with twice the fervor. But as you felt yourself becoming comfortable in Kaeya’s tight embrace, you remembered what both of you said that night:
“I’m really not looking for anything serious,” Kaeya mumbled. You lay on your back and stare up at his dark ceiling.
“Me neither, you can’t leave with me anyways.” You reply. Before you drifted into sleep, you heard Kaeya speak.
“Some places, you just can’t follow.”
You wanted to think it was real, desperate to know if everything he said to you that night and the following nights were true. You didn’t know why you wanted to know- maybe the loneliness was getting to your head. With that, you decide to stay in Mondstadt for a bit longer, much to Kaeya’s delight. In reality, you didn’t want to let this go- you didn’t want to let him go. To you, it felt like Kaeya was the best thing that’s happened in a long time and yet, it’s not serious. You wanted it to end, to spare yourself of the inevitable heartache you are well aware of- but each time you tried to leave, Kaeya always gave you a reason to stay: a new shipment of some wine he’d like you to try, you haven’t seen this tourist spot yet, he’ll miss you if you go. Each and every time, you found yourself going back to him- back into his open arms and warm embrace. You wanted to think it was real, what you had, what Kaeya showed you, is nothing like those before. He cleansed you of those meaningless flings from the past and offered you a trial on what it’s like to be undeniably loved. With his emotional limitations, you knew he was this way because he knew you would leave soon anyways. Even so, Kaeya loved you, he couldn’t deny it, he’ll never say it out loud- but you knew.
You think it was because there was a certain way that Kaeya kisses you each time he sees you around. He kisses you to show you he cares, to make you smile, to say hello and goodbye for now, to tell you to come home with him tonight and talk about things not yet said. Kaeya kisses you like he has everything else to lose. His fingers dig into your skin to hold you tight and never let go, he tilts his head to feel you, drown in you, become breathless against your lips; he wants to be as close as he can, to keep you by his side forever. When he would let go and you are drunk with the senses of his passion, Kaeya turns away, leaving you in the dark alleyways to wonder if he was just teasing you, or if he was genuinely happy to see you again; happy to know that you stayed. It was hard not to see his love as nothing but authentic. You wonder sometimes if he was afraid to lose you- to have the fear of your leaving be the only thing in his mind when he sees your face. You think sometimes, that maybe behind that bravo façade, hides a face of pain; cheeks wet with tears and pretty lips shaking as you bid him your final goodbye. That thought made you want to stay with Kaeya, but he keeps his distance despite his passion. It’s nothing serious.
You wanted something real; a place to call home and someone to come home to. You thought that maybe Kaeya would be the one to give that to you. You were tired of these transient relationships and feelings- basic human things always slipping past your fingers. You didn’t want this, not anymore, but you held onto Kaeya because he was the most home you’ve felt in a long time. He felt like home, he made you feel at home: when he would walk you both back to his quarters and you’re surprised with a bottle of wine and serious talks and little banter. When Kaeya would compliment you behind closed doors, his pretty hands running down the blemishes of your skin to tell you how remarkable you are. When you found yourself tip-toeing down the halls of the Knights of Favonius Headquarters to be with Kaeya and he would welcome you in with a tender smile. All of this, and you were still afraid. Afraid of the past and what the present may bring. You were terrified of the thought that Kaeya would be like those people from before even though he’s proven time and time again that he wasn’t. You know deep within yourself that you had some faults you needed to work on before pursuing something serious with him. You were used to leaving first because you had other places to go to, but then you got used to others leaving you. With Kaeya, you wanted to be the first to break away- he gave you what you wanted, but you were too afraid of trying to take it, nor give it back. He was too distant, but too close. He let you in his life and you in his, but you don’t know enough about him to see him be vulnerable. If it wasn’t real- you needed to leave before you’ll regret staying for longer.
You got up and went early in the day to avoid being seen by the Mondstadtians and especially Kaeya. You thought it was for the best to leave in this way- it hurt a lot less for you at least. Besides, he was the last person you wanted to see before leaving. As you were about to exit the city, you felt someone grab your shoulder and just your luck, it was the Cavalry Captain.
“You know, it’s a little rude to leave without saying goodbye, right?” He says, that all too familiar smile on his face. You shake off his hand and look at him.
“Well, it’s time for me to head off.” You say. Kaeya purses his lips and sees how uneasy you are. “I have someplace to be.”
“Just stay one more day,” He says, opting to take the luggage off your hands. “Come, I’ll take you home.” He doesn’t know why he put so much effort into making you stay. Kaeya scratched off every excuse in the book as to why you can’t leave yet. He doesn’t want to admit that he doesn’t want to let you go either. Even if he said that he wasn’t looking for anything serious, he fell for you unexpectedly. He lied again and again about how he wouldn’t mind if you up and left- he’ll miss you, but that’s it. In truth Kaeya was afraid to let you go, he’ll be devastated if you do, and his worst fear came to life when you pulled away and stepped back.
“What home? That place you take me back to over and over after we get drunk?” You snap. “I don’t have anything here, Kaeya. You said so yourself that what we had wasn’t anything serious.” You look at Kaeya and see a frown flash in his features. He was taken aback by this. He thought that maybe you could have given him your time for longer, that you loved him enough to not let him be like those strangers from before. As soon as Kaeya noticed you staring, his frown was almost immediately replaced with a haughty grin.
“We never had anything.” He says. “You said so yourself.” He used your words against you. They were cold and harsh, but you’ve been around him long enough to know that he was just trying to have the upper hand over you. He didn’t want to be seen as someone weak, but it hurt him, you both knew it. Whatever this was, whatever relationship you two had, it was fun while it lasted.
It was time for you to leave, to go to another place he cannot follow- a rule he had imposed upon you first when you woke up in his quarters that night. You cannot follow him and he cannot follow you. You had so many words left to say to Kaeya. You wanted to tell him how you really felt, to comfort his own fears and pain, to tell him you want to stay. He stares at your struggle, anticipating your words he so wishes would be a promise. He wanted you to say it, to tell him how much you wanted to be with him- he wanted you to be the first to say the things he can’t. Kaeya almost looked hopeful. But you were just like him, destroying relationships in fear that you’ll see them in their worst, their most vulnerable, afraid of trust and companionship.
“It was nice knowing you.” was all you could say, a lie, sparing not a single glance at Kaeya as you walked away. In truth, it wasn’t nice knowing him. You felt terrible, you regretted it, but boy did it make you happy. Kaeya gave you things, made you feel things you wished you felt in a relationship. But it wasn’t real, he confirmed it. None of it was, and that was the part that hurt the most- to know that as real as it felt to you, it was only a one-night romance for him. You were wrong. You thought you could trust him with yourself, that he can replace your mistakes of the past. You finally thought you found someone who saw you as nothing else but yourself- even at your worst. Kaeya had wanted the same from you.
“I wish I had never met you, Y/N.” Kaeya mumbles under his breath as he watches you go. He can’t take you back this way- his false pride won’t allow it unless it was you crawling back to him. But that’ll never happen. If he was being honest with himself, he loved his time spent with you. He felt guilty for making it seem like he was only leading you on. He has never felt anything more genuine, his feelings more real, than when he was with you. Kaeya loved you, he loved your company and the temporary joy you brought into his life; he wishes he would have shown you how true it was to him as well. He wishes he could let you know how much he wants you back.
❝YOU'RE GONNA WISH YOU PRAYED❞ — ZHONGLI
𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 + 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆
PAIRING: ZHONGLI x AFAB!READER
SUMMARY: one little graze is all it takes for morax to come out to play
WARNINGS: biting, spitting, monsterfucking, two dick zhongli, feral zhongli, dvp, rough sex, unprotected sex, cervix fucking, mating press, implied breeding, implied multiple rounds
WC: 0.8k
a big thank you to @sanzucide for beta'ing and @tojiholic for editing <3
“open up,” zhongli’s deep voice demanded as his fingers roughly pressed into your cheeks, claws digging into your skin.
if you had known that something as simple as grazing your teeth along his shoulder would awaken primal instinct in him, you probably could've prepared better for this moment. because as soon as you pulled away and his eyes flash a bright gold, you didn't have time to register that the man in front of you quickly went from your loving and caring significant other to an archon in his primal form with animalistic urges and instincts.
you opened your mouth, watching as his adams apple bobbed up and down while he gathered saliva in his mouth. you wanted to squirm, but couldn't move as his free hand kept your hips pinned against his, his two cocks stretching out your soaked cunt and splitting you open as you tried to adjust to the size of them. you whimpered as he pursed his lips, a long trail of spit falling from them and onto your awaiting tongue. it was hot, damn near scalding as he let his hand go, lightly pushing your jaw closed.
“swallow.”
you did, trying not to let it catch as it felt like fire slithering down the back of your throat. it warmed your belly, making you groan as you already felt immense pressure from the tips of his cocks pushing against your cervix. he wasn't sure at first if you could handle him, but you were doing extremely well and the thought of properly marking you up made him twitch inside you with excitement. the way you gave easily gave in without a fight had him licking his lips in anticipation.
he gave you no warning as he pulled his hips back before roughly burying himself into you again. you yelped, bracing your hands against his strong shoulders — like that would do you any good. he'd gotten a taste, and he wanted more. morax quickly became insatiable, driving into you with a force that mixed pain into pleasure.
he dipped his head down, nipping at your neck a few times. when a moan left your mouth, his sharp canines pierced your flesh and you cried out at how badly it hurt. but, the way your walls clamped down around him was the only thing he needed to keep going. even though it stung, you couldn't deny how great it felt when his teeth pierced your flesh.
your eyes rolled back as you wrapped your arms around him, his name falling breathlessly off your lips as he dragged his cocks in and out of your cunt. you were so tight, growls escaping him as he littered your chest and shoulders with nips and bites. each thrust left him throbbing, twitching inside you as he rutted as deep as he could go. one of his hands grabbed your thigh, pushing it back before doing the same to the other. you whimpered, toes curling as his momentum picked up and he hit that sweet spot that was aching for release.
“s’close,” you cried out, chest heaving while his thighs rammed against the back of yours. “i– m’gonna cum.”
you didn't even have to tell him. he could feel the way your walls constricted around him, making the already tight fit that much more excruciating. he'd long tossed care out the window, quickly pushing you over the edge as he aggressively fucked the fat tips of his cocks against your cervix. the grip your cunt had on him wavered as it spasmed and your body shuddered underneath him. you were calling out his name– morax– and even though you were twitching under him and completely coming undone, he kept railing into you to chase his own high.
you squeezed your eyes shut, clinging to him as incoherent noises came from his mouth. he couldn't even speak, his mind overrode with the carnal instinct to fill your pussy full of his cum until you could no longer keep it in. just the thought of twice the load leaking from your abused cunt had a growl rippling through his chest.
his rhythm soon became unsteady, losing all control of his hips. you could feel how raw he was riding you, his balls smacking your skin so hard you wouldn't be shocked if welts formed. with a sharp twitch, he was cumming deep inside you and driving it in even after the euphoric feeling flowing through him had dispersed. he kept going despite the tears slowly starting to trail down your cheeks. he was still hard and you, even though you felt like you were being split open, you were once again shaking and clenching tightly around him.
while zhongli was a gentle lover, morax was the opposite, and as long as you made no move to stop him, he would run you until you broke.
TAGS: @dxlucs @mxnjiros @albedophoria @suyacho @stygianoir
The AMOUNT of passion given through this fic is just 😳🤚🤌🤌🤌✨ literally gonna go feral for a part two
Characters: Yandere! Sub! Childe x Dom! Gn! Reader
Themes for the whole story: yandere, obsessive behavior, s/m themes, self-choking, masturbation, mentions of death and suicide (brief mention, not part of plot), Childe being gross towards the end
This is pretty much a slow-burn so strap in, gets interesting towards the end :’)
It was a peculiar feeling. Tartaglia can’t quite recall the last time he had felt this intensely about another human being. Or anything else for that matter.
One can imagine how truly strange it was to him once he had found somebody who had genuinely piqued his interests. At the start, he wasn’t quite sure what exactly it was about you that got him wrapped around your little finger.
Keep reading
the more i think about this book the sadder i get
what has hector ever done to me?
i hope that hector kills you. do you think i do not hope the same?
name one hero who was happy.
and perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone.
he is half of my soul, as the poets say.
in the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. their hands meet, and light spills in a flood like a hundred golden urns pouring out of the sun.
:0 ...okay but like.. some higher power decides to be oh? u dont wanna feel no more? aight ✨bippity boppity ur emotions are poof✨ AND THEN ALBEDO DOES A 180 AND IT BECOMES SAME SITUATION BUT REVERSED ..im just comforting myself with scenarios.
Notes: SUPER LONG parts so I broke them up into sections + paired music/songs :)
Summary: Some things in life just aren’t meant to be + angst tropes.
Warning/s: Heartbreak, one-sided relationship, angst
Theme/s: Angst, no comfort, heartbreak, emotional/naive reader
Characters: Albedo
Parts: Kaeya, Kazuha
Albedo: One Sided Affections
(Mr. Loverman by Ricky Montgomery)
You tried your best. You really did. In every relationship you had, it seemed that you always came off as ‘too strong’. They are always reasoning that ‘you felt too much’. You couldn’t help it- you were very emotional and tried your best to show your lovers how much you truly appreciated them. That’s what you do in a relationship, right? You were naive at that time- full of hope and passion for others that you were always so enthusiastic when an opportunity to love another person came at your doorstep. However, that was you before. Your passion burned out when you met the Chief Alchemist, Albedo.
Sometimes you think that relationships weren’t meant for you- that things you start just don’t last. When you met Albedo, you’d just gotten out of a pretty rough relationship and swore to yourself that you’ll never ever try to go into the dating scene again. That was until you needed some materials crafted from Sucrose, and you were met instead by Albedo who was more than happy to do it for you. You were enthralled by the Chief Alchemist; his beauty, his peculiarity, the way he moved and worked were ever so calculated and graceful. His voice was gentle and soft, his manner was something you’ve never seen before in a person. What got to you was the way he treated you. Albedo was kind, polite, and cordial. Professionalism aside, there was a certain charm he had when he would approach you for questions about the materials- the smile on his pretty lips and the glimmer in his sky-blue eyes. You’ve fallen again.
It wasn’t clear how Albedo reciprocated your feelings. You found yourself beginning to visit his lab more often for materials and alchemy advice until that turned into casual chats and then something more than friendly. It was until you brought up the prospect of dating that Albedo seemed to perk up and smile lightly to himself.
“I suppose it wouldn’t be too bad of an idea.” was all he said and you had your answer. You jumped straight into the opportunity. If it meant that you had a chance at love- if it meant that you finally had something that’s yours and yours alone. What you didn’t know then was that Albedo was only answering your question. He didn’t think you’d ask him to be with you, nor did he get enough time to think it through; but when he saw your hopeful eyes, begging for a yes, he didn’t have the heart to say no.
Albedo knew you were the most expressive and passionate person in Mondstadt. He could see it from the way you bounded up to him and how your eyes shine when you see him. It seemed that you were always shining. You were so happy around him, always joyful when visiting his lab or even helping with watching Klee. Albedo, however, didn’t feel the same ardor you had for him. But he would be a monster if he ever thought of hurting your feelings and he couldn’t bear the thought of breaking your heart. You were too kind to be put through that again. And so, he stayed for you; trying his best as always and you did too. Little did Albedo know that you knew this- and you still held onto him. You felt guilty, but you couldn’t let this get away from you. You knew well that Albedo didn’t love you, but you haven't felt anything so strong in your life. You adored him and did your best to respect Albedo’s boundaries and constraints- no kisses, no cuddles, no surprise hugs. Maybe the lightest touch of the hand and eye contact. But that’s it. You bore through it, you couldn’t let him go.
It wasn’t like Albedo wasn’t capable of loving- he really did love you. Just not the type of love you had for him. It seems that he doesn’t yet understand the genuine feelings an individual has for someone else. Sure, he was more than aware of human emotions and whatnot but the notion of deeper connections as well as stronger feelings felt somewhat complicated for Albedo. He always thought that the only person he could love, and love him back, was his master. When you came into his life, he didn’t know if it would be betrayal for his creator, or that he couldn’t fathom why he had felt so many things about you. Albedo loved you, yes, but not in a way that you wanted him to. Where you were a spectrum of emotions, Albedo was a man with few feelings.
“I don’t get those types of bonds,” Albedo said once out of the blue. “As much as I’ve seen, they’re all so… trivial.” You wanted to agree then, because it’s what you’ve experienced most of the time, but you wonder if he was talking about the both of you. And so, you stay silent and watch him continue to work on his studies.
If you were being truly honest with yourself- this was bad for you. Worse than it has ever been with those in the past. You tortured yourself with having to constantly keep up that happy-go-lucky attitude to not make Albedo feel bad, and he had to keep up his lovers persona to make you happy. It was a vicious cycle and it was more than clear that you two were unhappy. It came to a boiling point when the burning ache of emotions you kept back broke through when you watched Albedo perform his experiments while you sat at a distance. You cried into your knees and it took a while for Albedo to notice. When he did, he wasn’t surprised. You were known to be an emotional person. When he approached you and touched your head, you sobbed harder- wishing for this interaction so badly on days when you needed him. You look up and at Albedo through a blur of tears, an illusory sheen of adoration you still carry for him, desperate to know that what you had wasn’t one-sided. Albedo was surprised to see you look like this. He’s seen you cry before, but this was different. You looked broken, exhausted, and you were. You loved him but you were tired. Through the many days you’ve spent with him, you carried something more profound for Albedo than those relationships from before. You had a chance to get a glimpse into the deepest parts of someone and Albedo entrusted you with that. He showed you his past, his vulnerability and all the blemishes and imperfections in his beautiful nature. You fell for him hard- too bad he didn’t feel the same.
“Am I really that unlovable?” You ask, voice silent and breaking as you are. Albedo stands there unable to figure you out, but is nevertheless shocked by this revelation. The tone in your voice, the way you’re slumped within yourself, skin warm and heart racing fast. He couldn’t understand any of those. Albedo hasn't felt any of that before, nor has he seen you look so… defeated. So, he inches closer to you and lays your head on his chest, the only form of comfort he can give.
“You aren’t, don’t worry.” Was all he could say. You weren’t convinced, you knew Albedo had little way with things like this, but you could only hide away in the solace of his jacket, his fingers combing through your hair. You sob into him because you know how he looks; that blank expression on his beautiful face, unfeeling, unknowing to the type of emotions that now ran rampant in your veins.
“I just want to be loved,” You say against Albedo, gripping onto the fabric of his coat. He kneels down to face you, eye level with yours and you are surprised to see a look of pity on his features. He really was beautiful- you could fall in love with him all over again.
“And you will be,” Albedo said, taking your warmed face in his cold hands. “By someone better.” You cry more at his words while his fingers wipe away your tears. Choking on air, you grab Albedo’s hands and press them on your lips. He lets you.
“I don’t need better,” You think. “I just need you.” You wanted to tell him this. You wanted so badly to make it work, to salvage your relationship because you felt like you didn’t- couldn’t- want anyone else other than Albedo.
You wanted to tell him: I need you. I need you to be by my side as I wake up every morning, to be there when I make my terrible dinners and for you to smile through each bite. I need you to be the person I can turn to and I’ll do the same for you even if I've never seen you sad. I need you to be the only one I can hold, I can touch, I can kiss. I need you to be with me through the worst days, and you can be my best. I need you to tell me how it feels, how you feel, when you’re in love so I can tell you the same. I need you in my life, to be my life, for as long as it’ll take me. I need you, because I don’t have anything else.
You didn’t say that. As much as your heart thrummed achingly fast in your chest, you could only cry and whisper:
“I want you Albedo, I do, but I can understand if you don’t feel the same.” The guilt finally consumed you and it hurt. What hurt worse than the already impending heartbreak was his reply. Dry and forward, but genuine.
“I’m glad you understand, Y/N.” You feel it then, the mercy of your heart still beating in your chest- then the utter heartbreak that follows as you watch Albedo smile, his cold hands leaving your skin as he turns away and leaves. You didn't have the energy to try and beg for him to come back. Everything in your body ached with no sign of mercy. You thought you could die from the pain and you were somewhat grateful that Albedo was spared from the agony of heartbreak, the lack of understanding of deep and complicated human emotions. At that point, you wished that you were him- you wanted to sacrifice these damning emotions, so strong in the heat of everything that it made you jump from one opportunity of love to the next. You felt burdened by them, burdened by these human things Albedo was so gifted not to have. You wanted to be numb by then. If this was the type of ache you had to go through for the rest of your life- then you would trade anything to have it taken away.
Daikon | 20 my reblogs are the good shit i find from my trecherous journeys across this placemostly just horny shit tho...
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