The AMOUNT Of Passion Given Through This Fic Is Just 😳🤚🤌🤌🤌✨ Literally Gonna Go Feral

It Will Come Back

pairing - Scaramouche x f!reader (Au)

AN: This is a 3-4 part scara angst series. It does not make scara look good. If you're looking for scara comfort, this is not the series you should be reading. Reblogs are much appreciated and I would love your feedback to this :)

Word count - 5400

CW/TW: angst, insecurities, arguments/conflicts, jealousy, suggestive (nothing explicit), crying, heartbreak, mean! scara (sort of), unrequited love, hurt/no comfort

Header art credit

When he can't give you what you need but gives it oh so willingly to someone else...

PART 1 - Shatter me | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4

In a dimly lit cafe, you sit across from Ayaka and Thoma, sipping at a lukewarm cup of tea. The ambiance is cozy, but the warmth of the place fails to reach you. Your gaze drifts toward the window, where raindrops streak down the glass.

"I know I should look after myself first," you confess. "But it's just... so hard."

Ayaka places a comforting hand on yours, her eyes filled with concern. "We understand, (Y/n). Living with him must be emotionally draining."

Thoma chimes in, his expression a mix of sympathy and frustration. "It sucks that you cannot change the dorm room arrangement until graduation. But at least there are only a few months left."

You nod, trying to force a smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes. "Yeah, just a few more months," you reply, sounding weary.

Ayaka leans in, her voice gentle. "You don't have to live there, you know. I know you already paid for the dorm, but you could stay with us. We have plenty of extra rooms, and Thoma already lives with us."

Ayato, who had been quiet until now, narrows his eyes and speaks with conviction. "She's right. You don't have to endure this. Come live with us. We'll take care of you."

Your heart swells with gratitude for their kindness, yet a heavy cloud of uncertainty lingers. "I appreciate it, really," you begin, "but... I don't want to run away from my problems.”

Ayato interjects gently, "I understand, but you already have a lot on your plate. The semester ends in a few months, and then you graduate. On top of that, you have reports to submit and jobs to apply for. Living under the same roof as Scaramouche is taking the life out of you."

Ayaka agrees, her eyes full of empathy. "You deserve so much better, (Y/n). Seeing Scaramouche with his new girlfriend is not something you need to experience."

Ayato adds thoughtfully, his eyes softening as he looks at you "You need to draw boundaries with him, especially concerning Miyo, she may be nice and sweet, but seeing them in what is supposed to be your safe space isn't easy on you and it isn't fair."

The weight of your situation bears down upon you, and you feel utterly exhausted, demotivated, burnt out, and mostly empty. The emotional toll of navigating an undefined relationship with Scaramouche, coupled with witnessing him move on with someone else, left you feeling like a ship adrift in stormy seas. You take a deep breath, feeling the heaviness in your chest, and reply with sincerity. "I know you all mean well, and I can't thank you enough for your support. I’ll see what I can do about it. But enough about me, what is going on in your lives?” You switch to a different topic, hoping it would distract you from your thoughts. As the rain outside intensifies, your mind drifts back to a vivid memory, a rainy day much like this one.

You had returned home from a college party; your steps unsteady from the effects of alcohol. Scaramouche, as he often did, had taken advantage of your non-confrontational nature and was munching on your leftovers, a smug grin playing on his lips.

"Hey," you slurred, your voice betraying a mix of anger and uncertainty. "That's... that's my food."

He looked up, his violet eyes meeting yours, a hint of surprise in his expression. "So what?" he retorted, feigning indifference. "You always let me have it anyway."

Your cheeks flushed with irritation, but the alcohol emboldened you, pushing you to speak up. "You can't just take whatever you want, Scaramouche! It's not fair!"

Setting the food aside, he stood up, closing the distance between you with an air of defiance. "Stop being a brat," he shot back. "It's just food."

Anger surged within you, fueled by a mix of alcohol and pent-up frustration. "I'm not a brat!" you countered; your voice tinged with indignation. "And you can't keep treating me like this!"

A tense silence hung between you, the room feeling smaller with every heartbeat. Emotions churned within you like a stormy sea, uncertain and volatile. But amidst the anger, there was something else, something magnetic and undeniable, pulling you both closer. Scaramouche's eyes bore into yours, and you could feel the intensity of his gaze, like an electric charge in the air. Your breath quickened, heart pounding in your chest, as if caught in the eye of a brewing tempest.

The storm of emotions reached its peak, and before you knew it, your lips were on his, a moment of reckless abandon and vulnerability. Time seemed to slow, the world around you fading away, leaving only the two of you entangled in a whirlwind of desire and frustration. His hands found their way to your waist, pulling you closer, and the taste of alcohol mingled with the sweetness of the rain outside. The sounds of soft moans and whispered words echoed in the room, like a melody that only the two of you could hear. The anger and frustration that had been pent up between you and him were all released through shared touches, an explosion of emotions that neither of you could resist. In the dim light of your room, his skin against yours felt electrifying, each touch igniting a fire within. It was a night of recklessness and vulnerability, a night when your world would spin on its axis, forever changing your relationship with Scaramouche.

And now, as you stand in front of your dorm room, the present looms before you like a daunting challenge. Your heart clenches with dread, knowing that the moment you step inside, you'll have to face him, the one who has become an intangible part of your life. The fear of having your heart broken anew grips you like a vice, but you know there is no escape from the reality that awaits you. Taking a deep breath, you turn the doorknob, and the room embraces you like an old friend. Yet, the warmth you once felt has been replaced by an icy chill. Your eyes dart around, seeking any sign of Scaramouche. Then, like a sharp blade, the sight of him cuddling on the couch with Miyo pierces your heart. A bowl of popcorn rests on his lap, and he playfully feeds her the kernels. The scene is so intimate, so tender, that it feels like a knife being twisted in your gut.

You force a polite smile as Miyo waves at you excitedly, her presence a constant reminder of what you lack. She invites you to join them, her friendly tone contrasting sharply with the storm of emotions swirling inside you. "We're having fun, come on (Y/n), join us. This movie is good!"

You decline her offer, offering a weak excuse of having work to do. The truth is that you can't bear to be near them, witnessing the affection he showers on her that was always reserved from you. It's not her fault, you know, but the jealousy and hurt gnaw at you nonetheless. She has everything from him that you longed for but never received.

As Miyo's face drops, you see her disappointment, and for a moment, a pang of guilt tugs at your heart. You know she means well, and her understanding demeanor only serves to amplify the turmoil within you. "Alright then, no worries. Good luck with your work," she says with a friendly smile.

Your response is curt as you mutter a quick, "Thank you," before hastily retreating to your room. The weight of emotions bears down on you, crashing into your chest like a tidal wave. You crash onto your bed, your heart heavy with pain and confusion. Three years – three long years you had been there for him, doing everything in your power to keep him happy. Yet, it now feels like you were nothing more than a convenience, a placeholder in his life until he found someone special for himself. The thought stabs at your heart, leaving a searing ache in its wake. It's not just the fact that he's moved on with someone else that hurts; it's the feeling of being forgotten, as if those three years meant nothing to him. The intimacy you shared, the emotions you poured into your undefined relationship, it all feels like a cruel joke now.

You recall the moments you spent together, the laughter, the tears, the shared experiences that bonded you. It was supposed to mean something – it was supposed to be enough. But now, it seems like all those moments were lost in the shadow of Miyo's presence. The ache in your chest intensifies as you wonder why you weren't enough for him. What did she have that you didn't? Was it her sweetness, her warmth, her ability to make him feel special? You find yourself drowning in a sea of self-doubt, questioning your worth and your place in his life. The room around you feels suffocating, the walls closing in as the weight of your emotions presses down on you. The pain of rejection, the bitterness of feeling replaced, it all swirls together into a storm of anguish that threatens to consume you.

The knock on your door startles you, and you take a moment to compose yourself before opening it. To your surprise and dismay, there stands Scara, his face contorted into a scowl. His voice carries a hiss as he demands, "What's your problem?"

You raise an eyebrow, trying to keep your composure despite the turmoil inside. "Excuse me?"

Scara's anger seems to intensify as he snaps back, "Miyo has been trying to be nice to you, trying to hang out, and you keep turning her down, being very bitchy and closed off to her."

Your heart sinks, and anger bubbles up inside you. How dare he accuse you of being rude to Miyo when all you feel is the pain of seeing them together? Before you can respond, he continues, his words laced with exasperation and anger "She's going to be here often whether you like it or not because she is my girlfriend. The least you can do is be nice to her."

His words strike a nerve, and a mix of hurt and frustration washes over you. How can he be so insensitive? Doesn't he understand how difficult this is for you? You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, but the emotions are too overwhelming.

"I... I don't hate her," you manage to say, your voice shaking slightly. "It's just... seeing you two together... it's hard for me."

Scaramouche's scowl softens a fraction, but there's still a hint of annoyance in his eyes. "Look, I get that it's not easy for you," he mutters, his tone begrudgingly acknowledging your feelings. "But she's important to me, and I won't have you treating her like crap."

Tears threaten to spill from your eyes, a mix of sadness and anger building inside you. "I'm not trying to treat her badly," you say, your voice steady. "I'm just trying to cope with everything, and it's hard for me to be around you two right now."

Scaramouche seems taken aback by the sincerity in your voice, but he quickly masks it with a defensive posture. "Well, you better figure it out," he retorts. "Because she's not going anywhere.”

It's not that you want to push Miyo away; it's just that seeing them together is a constant reminder of what you had with him and lost. You want to be happy for him, but it's hard when your heart feels like it's breaking every time you see them together. "I'll try," you say softly, the pain evident in your voice. "I'll try to be nicer, but please understand that it's not easy for me."

Scaramouche's expression softens slightly, and he lets out a sigh. "Fine," he grumbles, seeming to relent just a little. He turns to leave, and you can't help but feel a pang of sadness as you watch him go. The door closes, and you're left alone in your room, the storm of emotions still raging inside you.

You slide down against the door, your body shaking as tears and sobs break from you like a torrential downpour. Everything hurts so much. Your head feels heavy with a thousand thoughts, your heart aches with a pain you can't describe. Was Scaramouche ever this protective of you? You wonder bitterly. Probably not, you chuckle bitterly between sobs. He was always the one to roast you with insults, to chime in when his friends mocked you, to treat you like the butt of a joke. He always had a sense of superiority with everyone... everyone except her.

Miyo. The name feels like a knife in your chest. She came into his life, and suddenly everything changed. The tenderness he showed her was something you had yearned for, but he kept it locked away from you. It feels like betrayal, and the pain is unbearable. You had given so much of yourself to him, only to be tossed aside when someone new came along. As you sit there, feeling utterly broken and defeated, you can't help but question everything. Was there ever a chance for you two? Or were you destined to be the one who loved him more, while he gave his heart to someone else? The memory hits you like a tidal wave, pulling you into a painful flashback of a time not too long ago.

Scaramouche had been acting distant, colder and ruder than usual. The tension between you two was palpable, and it had finally reached its breaking point. You remember sitting in your kitchen over dinner.

"Is everything okay, Scara?" you had asked, trying to hide the nervous tremor in your voice. “You’ve been so closed off, recently.”

He stopped eating, frowning as he set his fork down. "Maybe it's time to end this… end this little charade of ours.," he said, his tone somber.

Your heart skipped a beat, and you felt a lump form in your throat. "What do you mean?"

Scaramouche sighed, looking tired and conflicted. "I'm getting tired of us always arguing, always fighting," he admitted. "And I'm tired of you asking more from me, asking for something I can't offer you... something I don't want to offer you."

You felt your heart shatter at his words, but you refused to give up so easily. "I can be patient," you said, your voice filled with sincerity. “I am sorry, Scara. I didn’t mean to come off as pushy. I didn’t know it was affecting you like this.”

But he shakes his head, looking weary and defeated. "It's not about being ready," he says. "I think it's better for us to be just friends. You shouldn't get your hopes up."

Your heart clenches at his words, panic rising within you. You can't bear the thought of losing him, of going back to being just friends when your feelings for him are so much more. "Scara, you can't be doing this," Desperation laced in your voice. "Not now, not when I'm in love with you."

He looks away, unable to meet your gaze. "That's precisely why I can't allow this to continue," he murmurs. In that moment, it felt like your world was crumbling around you. The dinner you had prepared with so much love and hope now lay untouched on the table. He threw the rest of the food in the trash can, as if symbolizing the end of something beautiful yet broken.

You tried to hold back the tears, the pain of rejection and heartbreak too much to bear. You had given so much of yourself to him, and now he was pushing you away, leaving you feeling abandoned and lost. "I don't want to lose you," you said, your voice quivering. "I can't imagine my life without you."

He stood up, and you reached out, as if trying to hold on to him, to keep him from slipping away. As Scaramouche harshly pulls away, you can feel the sharp pain of rejection cutting through you. "I can't deal with this right now," he says angrily, his voice cold and distant. "I need to go."

You stand there, your arms still reaching out for him, but he doesn't look back as he leaves the dorm room, leaving you by yourself to deal with your breaking heart. The tears spill freely from your eyes as the reality of the situation sinks in. The one person you had poured your heart and soul into, the one who had once been so dear to you, had now become a stranger, cold and indifferent.

As you sit in front of your laptop, the memories of that painful night still haunt you. You try to focus on your reports, hoping that burying yourself in work will numb the pain, but it's no use. The ache in your heart is still there, a constant reminder of what you had lost. You remember how he said he would prepare his own meals from now on, how he told you not to wait on him anymore. It felt like he was trying to erase every trace of your connection, as if he wanted to forget that you had ever been a part of his life. The pain is heavy, and the weight of it feels suffocating. You wonder if it will ever end, if you will ever be able to move on from this heartbreak. Graduation feels like a distant hope, a glimmer of light in the darkness of your emotions. The pain is raw, the wounds still fresh, and you wonder if you will ever find the strength to heal. You wish for a reprieve from the anguish, for a way to escape the constant ache in your chest. In the midst of your turmoil, you find solace in the thought that someday, somehow, you will find the strength to mend your broken heart. Until then, you take each day as it comes, hoping that with time, the wounds will heal, the pain will lessen and maybe, just maybe, he will come back to you.

----------------------

In the dimly lit living room, Scaramouche returned to the couch, his eyes meeting Miyo's curious gaze. She snuggled against his chest as they continued to watch the movie, her warmth and presence grounding him. She was a comforting balm to his troubled soul, someone who seemed to understand him in ways he had never thought possible. The guilt of his recent confrontation with you still lingered, but he pushed it aside for the moment, trying to focus on the joy he found in Miyo's company.

"Is everything okay?" Miyo asked softly, her voice carrying genuine concern.

Scaramouche's gaze softened as he looked at her, a small smile gracing his lips. "Yeah, everything's fine," he reassured her. "Just had to discuss something about some bills with (y/n)."

Miyo nodded, accepting his answer without pressing further. She snuggled closer against him, finding comfort in his embrace. Scaramouche couldn't help but feel lucky to have found her. She was a beautiful soul, intelligent, confident, and kind. Despite knowing the truth about his royal heritage, she treated him like any other person, never letting his status define their relationship. (Y/n) didn’t treat you any differently as well, idiot. A voice in his head spoke. He pushed it away, trying to focus on the present, on the happiness he found with Miyo. But guilt gnawed at him, wondering if he had been too harsh on you earlier. He recalled the way you looked earlier. Pale, tired, with dark circles under your eyes - you seemed unwell. Had he misjudged the situation earlier? Were you not being mean to Miyo after all? Graduation was just two months away; maybe you were genuinely occupied with work.

He couldn't shake off the concern he felt for you, his thoughts wavering between the affection he had for Miyo and the lingering emotions he had for you. Scaramouche adored Miyo; she made him feel loved and understood. Yet, a part of him couldn't forget how he treated you. The thought of someone treating Miyo the way he treated you made his chest hurt. Scaramouche's mind drifted back to a time not too long ago when you had discovered the truth about him and Miyo.

It had been a few weeks since you confessed your love, and he had turned you down, leading to a growing distance between you two. He had been avoiding you, but it became difficult to do so since the two of you shared a dorm. He had met Miyo a few weeks before your confession, and he knew he wanted to see more of her. But he couldn't do that while still entangled in a confusing "situationship" with you. That's why he had to end things, for both your sake and his own.

He was careful not to bring Miyo up after he had began dating her. He didn’t know if it was out of consideration for your emotions or out of guilt but his relationship with Miyo was a well-hidden secret from you. However, he longed for Miyo to be with him. He thought you would be at the supermarket where you part-timed, not returning until late in the night. So, he had invited Miyo over to your shared dorm, hoping to spend some time alone with her. The two of them were making out in the kitchen when you unexpectedly walked in. The shock on your face was unmistakable, as if you had just witnessed a murder. Scaramouche quickly pushed Miyo away, and she straightened herself, apologizing to you.

"I-I'm sorry," Miyo stammered, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

You stood there, silent for a moment, before finally speaking in a barely audible voice. "What is going on?"

Scaramouche cleared his throat, trying to compose himself. "Miyo, this is (y/n)," he introduced you with an awkward gesture. "And (y/n), this is Miyo... my girlfriend."

The sparkle in your eyes immediately diminished as you tried to process this information. Scaramouche noticed your breaths became shallow and short as your eyes shifted between him and Miyo.

"Girlfriend..." you whispered, almost as if testing the word on your tongue.

The atmosphere in the room turned heavy as he noticed your lips quiver. Miyo knew about you, about the situationship. Scaramouche had no secrets with her. "I... I'll just go to my room," you managed to say, your voice trembling. "I... I forgot my wallet."

With that, you rushed to your room, and Scaramouche watched as you quickly reemerged, dashing out of the dorm in a hurry before he could say anything. He felt a pit forming in his stomach realizing that he had hurt you. Scaramouche knew he had to make amends somehow, but he also understood that it might be too late.

“I should head home,” Miyo speaks placing a reassuring hand on his chest. “I know you are worried about her. I am too. This wasn’t the best way for her to find out.” She sighed. “We need to give her some time and space to process this. Be nice to her, okay?”

Scaramouche nodded and kissed her softly on the lips. “You’re just amazing, you know that? To think of her even in a situation like this.” He tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear.

In that moment, as Miyo placed a reassuring hand on Scaramouche's chest, he felt understood in a way he hadn't expected. Her understanding and concern for you showed him the depth of her empathy and kindness. Any doubts he had about her over you vanished away, replaced by a newfound appreciation for the woman in his arms. With her understanding and support, the uncomfortable pit that had formed in Scaramouche's stomach began to ease. He knew he could count on Miyo, not just as a girlfriend but as a true companion who would stand by him through thick and thin.

As the movie came to an end, Miyo had fallen asleep, snuggled against him. Scaramouche couldn't help but chuckle at how adorable she looked, her peaceful expression bringing a sense of calm to his heart. He placed a tender kiss on top of her head, feeling a mix of love and protectiveness toward her. Graduation season was upon them, and it had been a challenging time for all of them. He knew Miyo was working hard, juggling her studies and other responsibilities. In contrast, Scaramouche felt a sense of privilege, knowing that his path was set as a prince of Inazuma, despite his strained relationship with his mother, the queen. Graduation was supposed to mark a new beginning, a fresh chapter in their lives, but for Scaramouche, it felt more like a burden, a heavy cloak of expectations and obligations he had to carry. He couldn't help but wonder if he was truly ready for the responsibilities that awaited him as a prince. Despite his achievements and his position, there was always a sense of disappointment from his mother, the queen, which weighed heavily on him.

He knew that he had a responsibility to fulfill, but in that moment, with Miyo by his side, he felt a sense of solace. She was the one who made him feel like he could be himself, without the burden of expectations. Miyo saw him for who he truly was and accepted him, flaws and all. Scaramouche felt a deep gratitude for having her in his life, especially during times of uncertainty and pressure.

Scaramouche's senses were heightened as he heard the door to your room creak open, the sound like a haunting echo in the quiet space. You had been skittish ever since the day you discovered Scaramouche and Miyo in the kitchen, and he couldn't help but notice how seldom you were in the dorm lately. You would leave early in the morning and return late at night, prompting his concern for your well-being. He often wondered if you were getting enough sleep or if something else was troubling you.

He knew you weren't alright. Your weary appearance betrayed the emotional turmoil you were going through. Without making a sound or drawing too much attention to yourself, you walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge, pulling out a carton of milk. Scaramouche inwardly cursed himself, realizing that he had run out of milk and had used your supply to make Miyo hot chocolate. He had planned to replace it with a new carton tomorrow, but now it seemed like a careless oversight.

Seeing you sigh and throw the empty carton away, he mumbled an apology to you, hoping to ease the tension between you. "I'm sorry about the milk," he said, his voice soft and sincere.

You looked at him, and he noticed the tear tracks on your cheeks, causing a pang of guilt to shoot through him. He tried to brush it off, attempting to maintain a sense of normalcy. "It's just milk, (y/n)," he said, attempting to downplay the situation. "No need to be so dramatic about it. I’ll buy you some more tomorrow, okay?"

But the emotions he saw in your eyes told a different story. It was clear that there was more going on beneath the surface, and he wished he could reach out to you, comfort you in some way. But the weight of Miyo sleeping on his chest kept him in place, unable to move.

You quickly wiped away your tears, your eyes becoming hollow with all the emotions pooling inside them. "It's fine," you replied in a voice that cracked slightly, trying to maintain a façade of strength.

As you hurriedly rushed back to your room, he couldn't help but notice your hand gripping your stomach. Were you hungry? He had noticed that your shelves in the fridge were bare, indicating that you might not be taking care of yourself properly. As he sat there, still holding Miyo in his arms, the weight of the situation weighed heavily on his mind. He couldn't help but feel like he had let you down, and the guilt gnawed at him. Scaramouche knew that he needed to address the situation, to find a way to talk to you and make amends, but the fear of rejection and the complexity of his feelings held him back.

Despite not being together anymore, Scaramouche couldn't help but feel a lingering fondness for you. He missed talking to you, sharing inside jokes, and having spicy meals together where he would laugh at your expense as you danced around due to the heat of the food. There was a sense of comfort and familiarity with you that he had grown accustomed to, and it frustrated him that you wouldn't accept what he offered to you – friendship. In his mind, he couldn't understand why you were so stuck on the notion of loving him and having him love you back. It was unfair to him, he felt, as he had made his intentions clear from the start. He never wanted to give you the place that Miyo now held in his heart. He wasn't sure why he couldn't reciprocate your feelings, but he knew that it wasn't something he could force. He couldn't understand why you held onto that hope, even when he had rejected you.

Maybe it was because of your uncertainty. Scaramouche couldn't help but notice that you never seemed to decide anything for yourself. Your lack of self-esteem also played a role; you didn't seem to value yourself as much as you deserved. How could you expect him to love you when you placed your worth so low? The constant arguments between you two weighed on his mind as well. They always ended with you in tears, and it left him feeling drained and frustrated. Miyo, on the other hand, brought ease and stability to his life. She was confident, knew what she wanted, and had a clear goal in life - to become a diplomat in the Inazuma court. In contrast, he couldn't help but feel that you lacked direction and purpose. You never seemed to have a plan or a clear vision for your future. It made him question whether a long-term relationship with you would have been sustainable.

While he respected your opinions and advice, he couldn't help but feel weighed down by the constant nagging. You would urge him to study harder, to work towards proving himself, even though everything seemed to be already set for him as a prince. While he complained about how disappointed his mother was with him, instead of agreeing, you would encourage him to communicate with her. It felt like you were pushing him, never letting him be by himself. It was hard to let go of the hurt and frustration, but at the same time, he couldn't help but miss the connection you once shared. He wished things could have been different, that you could have been the person you needed you to be – a friend.

Scaramouche carefully picked up Miyo in his arms, cradling her gently as he carried her to his room. He walked with soft, measured steps, mindful not to wake her from her peaceful slumber. As he passed through the living room, his foot accidentally knocked over a pile of unread mail, scattering envelopes across the floor. His eyes caught sight of a particular envelope, distinct from the others. It was from Mondstadt, and it bore your name on it. The sight of it caused a pang of curiosity to stir within him, but he hesitated to pick it up. He knew that mail was private, and he shouldn't intrude into your personal space.

Without thinking much of it, Scaramouche walked towards his room, still holding Miyo in his arms. He placed her gently on the bed, making sure she was comfortable and covered with a blanket. She sighed softly, settling into a deeper slumber. Scaramouche climbed into bed beside Miyo, wrapping his arms around her as he pulled her close. He found solace in the warmth of her body and the steady rhythm of her breathing. In that moment, as he lay beside her, he pushed aside the thoughts of you. He chose to focus on the present, on the love and comfort he found with Miyo.

Next

AN: my dumbass forgot to let y’all know to let me know if you want to be in a tag list for this series 😭

its just so.. pretty isnt the right word.. breathtaking YEAH

Kazuha, Zhongli,Xiao,Diluc, Kaeya y Itto

By CANOP_s

im parched

撒呀呀_ on Weibo

https://m.weibo.cn/status/5065871837630431

<OFFICIAL COMMISSION MADE BY LOVE AND DEEPSPACE>

Free to use Sumeru icons I drew! Just be sure to credit me! These are also previews to my next batch of Genshin keychains that will be coming out soon!

Comforting Traumatized Characters

Here are some quotes/dialogue for characters comforting characters.

"It's going to be okay. I know you just watched your best friend die before your eyes, but it isn't the end of your life." "That's exactly the problem." "Show that their death was not in vain by living in their honor."

"The sun will shine again, my friend. Just keep living until then."

"It's okay if you're just surviving right now. One day, that survival will turn into living and you'll be glad you convinced yourself to stick around." "But when?" "I can't tell you that... it could be a decade from now... but until then, I'm here to help you in any way I can."

"Move in with me." "I'm sorry?" "I mean... temporarily, but... I don't want you to be alone right now... so move in with me, stay with me. I'll be your company while you go through this thing."

"I can't help you if you won't let me."

"You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped." "Watch me." "You're going to make matters worse, you dimwit."

"I'm so sorry."

"I have no words right now." "Thank you for admitting that... instead of filling the air with useless words."

"Come here..." "Why?" "Because I don't want you to be crying into nothing. Cry into me."

"I'm a literal shoulder you can cry on."

"I love you. I'm here for you every step of this terrifying path. I promise."

"Forever and always. That's what we said, right? I'm not abandoning this now."

"I will always have your back."

"You are everything. So let me be here for you in the one way I know how."

"I can't even imagine what you're going through right now... please... if you ever need anything-" "I'd have gone to them... but they're gone now." "Yes... so come to me."

this had so much word flavor oml 🫶🫶🫶

soulmate trope | todoroki s.

Todoroki’s route of soulmate trope.

Wow, you sure seem to be injuring yourself more than usual. That can’t be related to anything significant.

warnings: extremely mild self-harm. secondhand embarrassment.

~11k words

Keep reading

..nah bruv i cant i- WHO HURT YOU OML I COULD FEEL THROUGH THE WORDS I- ESPECIALLY ALBEDOS PART ON LIKE HOW LIKE YK HUMAN I- I CANT TALK PROPERLY ANYMORE YOUVE MADE ME SPEECHLESS THIS IS SO GOOD

(Part 2): So Close, Yet So Far

Notes: Part two of the first part. Idk this felt kinda lacking but I enjoyed writing it anyways. Might move on to fluff if I'm in a good mood. Drop some suggestions :)

Summary: They’re always away and work seemingly became more important than their time with you.

Characters: Albedo, Thoma, Gorou, Aether, Kazuha

Warning/s: Some lore spoilers? Graphic mentions of death on Gorou’s part.

Themes: Angst, Breakup, No Comfort, Gender Neutral Reader

Part 1: (here)

Aftermath: Closure Pt. 2

Albedo

‘Be patient with him’ is what you always tell yourself as you follow Albedo up the mountain for another excursion to Dragonspine for who knows what and archons know what for. You hadn’t known what you were setting yourself up for when you decided to pursue a relationship with the very handsome but very stand-offish alchemist from the Knights of Favonius. True, your relationship with him had its very sweet moments of cooking with him and him sketching you, but those were rare and hard to come by- especially from Albedo. Part of it was the fact that he was not human and his pursuit of understanding also included human emotion which made it difficult to discern whether or not his sweet words and gentle manner were genuine or a form of fabrication for his studies. Sometimes he’d even use you for his experiments; odd contraptions strapped to your head, shivering in his open lab in Dragonspine, drinking odd concoctions that you fear may kill you.

It’s worth it, you’d always think when you see Albedo’s eyes shine and his lips curl into a smile when he discovers something new or if his hypothesis is correct. It’s worth it if it meant that you were making Albedo happy; even if it meant that you yourself had never felt more unloved.

‘Be patient with him’ drained the life out of you each time you asked if Albedo wanted to go out somewhere with you, but he would say ‘no’ and say, ‘I’m busy’. It drained you as you watched him react more to his experiments than when being with you. It drained you when you’d get your hopes up as Albedo called for you only for the same hope to be crushed when it was for a lab test.

“Albedo, can we please do something nice for once? You’re always working, and I want to spend some time alone with you.” You said as you stood at the foot of his lab when he called you in for help with another experiment.

“Well, we’re spending some time alone right now.” He said as you listened to the clink of test tubes for a potion he was going to make you drink.

“I’m serious, Bedo.” You said, crossing your arms from the cold and irritation. Albedo glanced at you and saw your annoyed expression but still turned away.

“I have a hard time understanding what you want from me, Y/N,” He said, setting down his clipboard, his back still turned and attention drawn away.

“Of course you don’t. You wouldn't understand how I’d feel anyways,” You said. “You’re not human.” As soon as the words came out of your mouth, you looked up to see Albedo staring at you blankly. Through the trick of the eye, the corners of his lips twitched and his hands formed into a fist. You half expected him to be upset with you while the other half expected him to be upset with himself. But he showed no emotion as you two stared. It was too late for you to take your words when you realized you meant what you said- as hurtful as it was, your patience with him ran thin and you were tired of pretending the lack of intimacy was acceptable- even for Albedo. And so, you wordlessly turned to leave him alone in his cold, open lab. As he watched you leave, he knew it was a sign your fleeting relationship was done; but Albedo felt something prickling in his skin.

‘Strange. This isn’t what cold feels like.’ It was different. It was hot, searing, and burning. Gradual, slow and torturous that it felt intentional. It ran from his chest and pulsed throughout his skin. Something within him ached so terribly as he tried so desperately to find a cure for this ravenous madness that made him drag himself and heave across the table. Your expression is what got him- the shock in your face when you said what you said but the immediate switch to emptiness- the way he recognized was the same expression he wore around you. Worst of all were your words echoing throughout his mind. You’re not human.

“Is this… what they call heartache?” Intense was the word Albedo was looking for. In your entire relationship, he felt some form of intensity, the giddiness when you stroked your hand through his hair or gave him compliments for his work- but nothing was comparable to the pain that coursed through him right now. He knew he wasn’t human, but why does he feel so alive? Why is his hollow shell suddenly flooding with so many things he couldn’t possibly understand? Then he remembers you. You were loving, your gestures so unfeigned and manners so human- something Albedo couldn’t understand yet but longed for- more so now than he had ever had.

“Y/N, it hurts,” He says as he grabs at his head and whispers into the table. Hot tears stream from his eyes, a new trick so foreign to him that he feels like a child discovering what it’s like to feel empathy. Something real. And he had never felt more real, more human, when he was with you. You had taught him the euphoria of what it means to have human emotion, the joy that comes with love, and the utter devastation when Albedo finally discovered what it meant, what it felt, to have someone you love tear away at you like a pack of wolves. To be exposed to the raw emotions that was heartbreak. It hurt so much but he loved it.

He loved you.

“It hurts, Y/N,” Albedo called to you smiling, as if announcing a groundbreaking discovery of the century. He needed you now more than ever- not for experiments, not for confirmation of theories, he needed you. To tell you what he felt, what you made him feel, how good it was no matter the hurt. But it was too late. You had given him everything he needed to know about connections and bonds and the joy that came with them- yet you had no love left to give him. He would destroy the world to get it back if it meant the pain would stop. If it meant he’d start over and give you the love you deserve.

Thoma

Thoma was the perfect lover; the man every parent wished for their child, the man every grandparent loved having over, the man others would kill for but Thoma would discourage them. You don’t know how lucky you found yourself when Thoma bashfully gave you a plate of tricolor dango he made by himself as a way to ask you out. Your relationship was seen by others as more than perfect, more than beautiful. Prying eyes would watch as Thoma would hold the umbrella over your head and give you his coat on a rainy day as you two walked down the street; Inazuman girls would seethe with jealousy as Thoma would plant a kiss on your forehead in front of them, his smile bursting wide when you’d return in; the older women in town would compliment you both and ask about marriage, children and the works while you two would turn red and look away in embarrassment at the questions. Everyone on the outside thought you two were perfect.

You knew a little differently. No relationship was perfect. Each one had cracks and problems as every relationship would. You and Thoma rarely argued and it was mostly for something small and insignificant like who forgot to do the laundry, but nothing big ever happens. In fact, every squabble always ends with an apology. The only problem you two had was work. Thoma was almost always busy working for the Kamisato Clan and sure, you had your fair share of labor, but sometimes it was getting ridiculous.

At first you didn’t mind- you understood how the Kamisato siblings relied their trust on Thoma and you admired it even. Some things about his work however drew the line when you would be left alone in the middle of the street, waving half-heartedly goodbye to your lover as he is called in for another commission. Most tea dates you two had at Komore Tea House were with Ayaka and you grew to be friends with the girl- but you sometimes felt like a third wheel between them. Sometimes you would wake up in the middle of the night to Thoma hastily leaving to do something for the Estate. Hell, the only real dates you two ever had were doing chores around the Estate’s yard and Inazuma. You were getting tired. You spent little to no time with Thoma; despite how loving he was, how caring and generous and perfect, you can’t help but feel unloved if he dedicated his time to someone that wasn’t you. As selfish as that may have sounded, the issue has drawn on for too long.

While the crickets chirped silently, your hand in Thoma’s as you two walked to the Estate for the eighth time this week. The atmosphere made it feel like you two were out for a nice walk, when in fact, you were out to do another commission. Thoma noticed your tightening grasp on his hand as he stopped to look at you.

“Is there anything bothering you, Y/N?” Your fear of losing him bubbled in your chest and you wanted nothing more than for you to be able to express yourself without prying eyes and listening guards. This seemed to be the perfect time to do so.

“If you had to choose me, or the Kamisato Clan, who would you prioritize?” You asked, chest rising and falling as you watched Thoma struggle to say something. You should’ve worded it differently, but you had already given him the ultimatum and his answer was clear. You nodded and lowered your head, hearing Ayaka call out to him from a distance. Thoma pulled you close but you didn’t move, savoring the last time you might ever be this close to him.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” was all Thoma could say, his voice and body shaking. Before he could do anything else, you buried your head in his neck and whispered,

“I don’t think I can do this anymore, Thoma.” finally looping your hands around his waist. I need more time, I can’t let you go. “I love you, but I can’t…” You wondered if you were being selfish- if you were willing to sacrifice such a loving man and a wonderful relationship because you felt unfulfilled. Maybe you were, but Thoma only pulled you closer, and you, for the first time in your relationship, withdrew from him. Hearing Ayaka call out to him once more, Thoma didn’t stir and only held onto your wrist, eyes begging for you to stay. But you stepped back and looked at him pitifully.

“I think someone else needs you right now.” You said, stepping back again. “Goodbye, Thoma.” While you turned to leave, you glanced back to see his figure fading away to the Kamisato Estate. What you didn’t know is that Thoma was the one to need you this time. His heart aching at your words, the realization finally hitting him that you had felt so unloved. He remembers the days you would soothe his joints and muscles, make him lunches on days and dinner by nights, the way you would nod understandingly as he ranted and raved about his day. You’ve given him your time and company, while he returned it by not doing the same. Thoma turned around to find you gone and wanted so badly to get you back. But work called for him, and you had already left. If only his loyalty would favor you, but in the end, you had been the second option.

Gorou

Gorou had always been busy; now more than ever with the civil war that’s been rampaging Inazuma. You did what you could to help with the Resistance and Gorou was extremely grateful for you. You could see the toll it took on him to lead an Army and at the same time handle everything else with their excellent strategist, Divine Priestess Kokomi. You encouraged him to take breaks with you once in a while, but his stubbornness persisted, and he would work day and night to ensure swift victories against the Shogun’s Army.

It was only when he would lose sleep over worrying about the latest advancements and number of casualties did you really start to worry. Gorou would be up late into the night and well into the evening, hunched over a map, his ears twitching in annoyance and even your massages wouldn’t be enough to soothe his tense muscles. On times he would relent and take calming breaks with you, he would be immediately ordered to the front lines by Kokomi or other soldiers, and they would have to apologize on his behalf.

“Gorou, I know we need to win this war, but I think you’ll perform better if you take a little rest.” You said as you watched your lover fit into his armor. “Come, have some tea with me.”

“I can’t right now, Y/N, Her Excellency is calling me up to help and you know I can’t pass up this opportunity to gain some sort of foothold against the Shogunate Army.” It was hard to convince him not to leave, even harder to make him rest. But he needed to do what had to be done. You had no choice but to let him go.

“Alright, I’ll be having tea out near the shores.” You said, wishing him good luck as Gorou plants a soft kiss on your cheek and storms off. “Be safe, Gorou.” The waters of Inazuma’s beaches were always your favorite- soft sands meeting the rolling waves clear enough that you could see the eels, crabs and shells from below. Nothing could disturb your peace. Not long after you set up the tea table on the beach, you notice a group of the Shogun’s army nearing your spot. Strange, you think, they’re beyond enemy lines. Calm and composed, you only watch as the soldiers circle you.

“What seems to be the issue?” You ask, your heart racing in fear.

“You’re the lover of the Resistance Army’s general.” One soldier said, pointing a spear at you. “Comply now if you know what’s best for you.” Slowly, you sipped your tea and looked at the men that surrounded you, weapons in hand ready to fight. You yourself had no vision and were willing to fight until the end- if it meant that you would be of help to Gorou.

“I have no Vision to surrender, nor do I have any intentions of giving out any secrets for you.” You said, setting down your cup as the men stepped forward. “But if you must do what you need to, make sure the news reaches enemy lines. Tell them General Gorou is out for revenge.”

That night, the mood in the camp was unusually depressing for the Resistance Army camp as the soldiers pushed at each other when General Gorou came in from another surge. He ordered for his men to send the injured to the infirmary and once he arrived there, there was no need for his soldiers to tell him what had happened.

There lying lifeless on a bamboo mat was you- eyes closed, mouth parted slightly as if you were deep into sleep. But you neither moved nor was your heartbeat present in your chest. Gorou stopped in his tracks as his soldiers could do nothing but watch him crumple into a wailing mess beside you. You lay unmoving. The others did their best to clean you- under your fingers were the sands you spent your days on, sea water dried on your skin and blood clung to your shirt and face. Yet Gorou couldn’t help but smile through the tears. You look as beautiful as ever, Y/N.

“What is the meaning of this!?” He yelled, grabbing your cold hands. “Why wasn’t anyone with them!?” Gorou realized how odd that may have sounded- he was the one that should have been with you because you called him out there. He should have protected you, but he didn’t show, he never does. Now you’re dead and he feels as if your blood was on his hands.

“I should’ve been with them…” For weeks, Gorou has led the Resistance Army to push on, keep fighting, to end this once and for all. It’s not what you would have wanted but if it weren’t for this damned war, you would have still been alive. It was a comfort to Gorou to know that he’s fighting in your name, slaughtering soldiers left and right and exhausting what’s left of the energy he thinks should have been spent with you. He kept your word unknown to him- that he seeks revenge for what the enemy has done to you. Even he knows deep in his mind that you would disprove of his actions; it was too late for that now if you weren’t by his side to tell him it’s ok to stop fighting.

Aether

Aether is always out into the world of Teyvat in his conquest to find answers, truth and especially his sister. You wonder sometimes if you are a factor that’s been holding him down or slowing his path even though he has reassured you countless of times that you aren’t. Still, it was hard not to tell yourself that you may be a burden when Aether’s strength and experience out in the world is vastly different from yours. After all, he wasn’t from this world. Yet you and the rest of the other nations held a lot of trust in Aether- too much trust in fact that your worry about him seemed to rival that. It was worrying because Aether never seemed to stop; always working, always fighting, always on the go to find some semblance about where his sister was or what she’s doing with the Abyss Order. Whether it be fighting an Old God or jumping from one dimension to another, Aether seemed to be everywhere except with you. Some things in his life you couldn’t understand, but you had faith in him and didn’t say anything else as you followed him throughout his journey. Even in places you can’t follow, you make sure to him that he always has a place to come home to in your arms.

That was until you notice something shift in him that worry only worsened. You knew deep down that he was getting tired of constantly being thrown around to help and expect to fix everything when really, all he wished for was to be reunited with someone he loved. You understood the bond he and his twin shared, something unbreakable, but sometimes you selfishly wished that Aether could stay with you a little longer. You loved him after all-, but doubt clung in your mind that maybe he didn't share the same love you had towards him. He would encounter you sometimes after a rough day, a rough week, a rough month even and you would greet him with open arms to tend to his wounds and feed him and Paimon until the next day he would leave, and you wouldn't know when he would come back. Sometimes you wished if he would settle in with you, give the adventure a break and calm down for a while- but before you could even bring it up, he would say that there is no home if his sister isn’t by his side. Then doubts would come to your mind again and you’d wonder if you were of any help to him at all.

When you had met Aether, you were a traveler yourself and a part of the Adventurer’s Guild. You had seen him talking with Katherine about another mission to some unknown land, and being one with an Adventurer’s heart, you volunteered yourself to be Aether’s companion. And because you wanted to know the famed Traveler from another world. After that, you found yourself growing closer with him when he shared his stories around Teyvat; how he fought with Stormterror, his spars with a Fatui Harbinger, and the simple quests of planting flowers in Dragonspine. You were intrigued and enthralled by all this and asked Aether if you could join his party. You have some experience in fighting and navigation and his little friend Paimon found it to be quite exciting. With a charming smile, Aether said yes and you two had been adventuring ever since.

It was amazing for a while- the thrill of it all, the experience you gained and the places you couldn’t dream of being in. For the longest time in your life, you felt happy, and you fell in love. It took a while for you to realize your feelings for the mysterious Traveler but once it became clear, your uncertainty only grew and your feelings along with it. You wanted nothing more than to settle down with him, but you knew in your heart that he has no intention of doing that until he finds his sister. With that you felt the need to push your feelings aside until it became unbearable. You wanted to stay with him but wanted to be far from him because your feelings overshadowed your willingness to keep going. One day, you’ve decided that it was time for your adventure to end.

“Aren’t you coming?” Aether asked as you two exited your home. You stopped at the door frame and looked at him sadly. He noticed your expression and pursed his lips. “Is everything okay, Y/N?” You wondered if it would be selfish of you to beg him to stay. One thing you admired so greatly about Aether was his selflessness, to put his needs aside if it meant if would help another. But you knew well that if he stayed, he would only be held down.

“Yes… I’m fine but, I think I’ll hold off on the commissions for a while.” You said, barely a whisper. Usually, Aether would convince you to come with him and tell you that you're a great help- but he only stepped closer and held out his hand.

“If you wish to see me again,” He said. “You know where to find me.” You nodded and held his hand in yours. Aether looked down at it and you could feel his fingers pulling away from your grip.

“Go find your sister.” Was all you said. With that, Aether nodded and ran. Only Paimon was the one to look back at you and wave goodbye. The only thing you could do was to cry silently and watch the man you loved go. It was clear from the start that his restlessness was unwavering, and he would stop at nothing to get back the only comfort of home he has known. That comfort wasn’t you, and you were more than happy to let Aether go even if it meant his love for you was as short lived as your time together.

Kazuha

You fell in love with Kazuha’s beautiful words and gentle manner. He was more than closed off when you met him on Captain Beidou’s ship, and you gathered little about this strange new individual. He was an outlaw of Inazuma, barely escaping the Shogun’s Army who was out to get him when he boarded the Alcor; now he recites poems whenever he can and warns the crew of coming storms. You were fascinated by him and listened when he would sit at the mast and recite his beautifully crafted poems. Once you asked him to recite one for you and you could see his eyes glimmer against the sunset when he would tell you about the rolling waves and the cradling breeze. After that, you found yourself talking more and more with the young samurai that the crew began to notice that they would pester and tease you about him. Kazuha only took note of that and made sure to make some of his poems about you. You were close enough now that Kazuha began to open up- about his past, his love of traveling, and the tragedy he has witnessed back at home and why he’s so adamant about never going back. You found yourself becoming conflicted then.

As much as you enjoyed seeing the world with Kazuha, you missed your home terribly. You missed being able to wake up to the gentle chirp of birds in the morning, the accessibility of food from the shops, the calmness of it all. As much as you loved the hectic anger of the sea or the pleasing calm that came with new places, you would love nothing more than to settle down with Kazuha. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with him; waking up to him in the morning, making food with him, the domesticity of it all. But you knew Kazuha- he wouldn’t give up his life of wandering for the world- even if that meant his entire world was you. Besides, he wasn’t ready to go back to normalcy when the only normal thing he had before his life now was of his friend- and staying in the place that took him away made Kazuha retract from conversations relating to it. Even when he had gotten closure from his quest to find a new wielder to his friend’s Vision- which had been him all along- he was more compelled to go out into the world and find life anew to erase the old memories once and for all.

When the Alcor finally docked on Inazuma after the borders opened up again, you were reluctant to leave but you knew in your heart that you belonged someplace else. Only when the ship set out to sea again did you see Kazuha clinging to the ends of the boat, yelling your name desperately as if you could only wave goodbye.

“I’ll come back to you, Y/N!” Was what you would hear time and time again. You cried at every sunset watching the Alcor leave while you and Kazuha watched each other wave goodbye until the other would fade from view. He would come and go- tell you stories about his latest travels and bring you things from around the world. Though his time was short lived, you savored every moment you could spend with him. But even though Kazuha kept his promise to return to you, you knew well that his heart was set out to sea, and you were tired of waiting for a day that would never come. One time when he had returned, you introduced him to your lover and you noticed Kazuha’s expression dropped as he excused himself to go help with unloading the shipments. Before you would go out into the docks to once again wave him goodbye, Kazuha wasn’t there to yell out your name. The next time you two had seen each other was months after the first time he wasn’t there to see you set him off.

“Why couldn’t you wait for me, Y/N?” Was the first thing Kazuha asked you once he stepped foot onto the harbor. You were surprised by this. You waited for months, years even, for the day that Kazuha may come home to you finally. Maybe it was the other way around- that he had waited for you to once again board the ship with him. But both of you knew you had separate lives to live.

“I did wait for you, Kazuha.” You said. “Our worlds are just too different.” Since then, you two only shared civil goodbyes as Kazuha watched you turn your back to go home while his heart ached as you were the first to stop waving. He watched your life unfold before him each time the Alcor docked on Inazuma- you had a lover, then you were married, then you had your first child. Kazuha knew by then that he had nothing to come home to. Even when you had been the closest thing he had to normalcy, the closest thing he had to home, you too had gone away from him.

probably the cutest thing that has made me cackle like a witch at the same time 🧙🤩

wake up call suna rintarou/f!reader (haikyuu!) word count: 2k tags: sfw but suggestive, classic morning after meltdown, walk of shame (bedroom to kitchen edition), pining, fwb to lovers, idiots to lovers, instagram story repliers to lovers, bestfriend!terushima, implied teruyams. a/n: i heard suna rintarou has a 8 pack… i heard he’s shredded

I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up—

“I fucked up.”

“Good morning to you too,” Yuuji chirps from the other line as you answer his call. His bright tone is a stark contrast to your own hoarse, panicked whisper—having frantically fished your ringing cellphone from the bottom of your tangled bedsheets when it woke you. “What did you do this time?”

“I…”

You hear the unmistakable sound of your shower running down the hall of your one bedroom apartment, sucking in a breath.

“… am going to be late for brunch.”

“Ohhh.” Your best friend’s tone of voice turns salacious. If there’s one thing you can count on, it’s that Terushima Yuuji is nothing if not insatiably gossip hungry. “Who did you do this time?”

Keep reading

—𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐚𝐫

✦ pairing: al-haitham x reader

✦ warning: smut, 18+ content, minors do not interact

✦ w/c: 3.2k

✦ disclaimer: afab!reader with no set pronouns, hate sex, heavy degradation, humiliation kink, rivals to lovers?, masturbation, blowjob,  fingering, dacryphilia, doggy-style, slight anal, facial, cock-warming, semi-public sex, library sex, all characters are 21+, unedited

✦ summary: seeing that you came in second for your class ranks yet again after getting the second-highest score on your last exam within the Haravatat Darshan, you decided to ask your enemy for help. after all, you'll do anything to win this war against him.

There was a thunderous roar of chatter inside the Akademiya as a class of scholars from Haravatat all gazed upon the door outlining the recent exam results from the last midterm exam. As some cheer, jumping in delight that they managed to pass others bit their lips, shivering in fear on their desperate next steps to not fail the required course.

You maneuvered through the crowd until you were able to see the post outlining the class' names. Your stomach churned, butterflies fluttering as you when through every line until you could identify your own. You were up to days meticulously studying and going over the material over and over again. You even brided those who managed to pass the test to confirm no curveballs would be given by the sages. You had successfully prepared and memorized the correct material.

But why was your name, just shy of the top score in second place? The smile on your lips faltered, jaw clenching instead realizing just who you lost to.

Alhaitham, the Akademiya’s beloved scribe known for his intellect, aloofness, and determination to learn whatever piques his interests.

“What? Are you so surprised that I got the top score yet again,” a voice whispered down. Your body shivered, hairs raised, as you turned your back to glare at the tall man. Even in his stoic features, something about the look in his eyes always made you feel like he was looking down on you. 

The butterflies that were once in your stomach seem to bubble and melt at the boiling lava beginning to take shape instead.

He only scoffed at your expression, his lips curving up to a small smirk. There was, that patronizing look again. You wanted nothing more than to loudly connect the palm of your hand to his cheek, but you couldn’t. You had lost once again, and your pride was beginning to not be able to take all the losses anymore.

“Instead of being enemies, why don’t you just give it up already? How many tests has it been since your ‘proclamation of war’? You have yet to win and defeat me, am I wrong,” he remarked. You balled your fists up nudging your shoulder, leaving him to shift so you could move past him.

“You’re such a jackass Alhaitham. It’s no secret that everyone in our class despises you,” you muttered, marching off. The silver-haired man did not respond, teal eyes watching your form disappear from his visage. His eyes narrow where you once stood before tutting, digging his hands into his pocket and leaving the crowd as well.

Why wasn’t he able to wring in his rapidly beating heart when you were just here? It didn’t make sense to the scribe. 

Night hung high in the sky, the moon’s rays illuminating from Alhaitham’s window. A rugged sigh left Alhaitham’s lips, glaring at the blank ceiling in his room. His eyebrows furrowed, gripping his bedsheets tightly still fazed from earlier seeing your angry expression at him.

He knew he didn’t understand people’s emotions that well. Being emotionally was something he prided himself on not being. As much as he felt this was one of his strengths, he had enough reasoning to recognize it as one of his weaknesses as well. For being an intellect, it was difficult for him to empathize and interpret emotions, especially when they aren’t derived from what he feels are logical motives.

It seemed like a fallacy how much his heart would thump erratically in his chest, cheeks threatening to turn flushed when you were in his presence. That fire in your eye and rude comments would just make it worst. He thought it was anger at first, but that doesn’t really fit all cases he interacts with you.

Alhaitham sighs again, lifting his arm up to cover his eyes, feeling his cock twitching to life. His eyes glowered at his pulsating length, his pink tip already budding with his precum; urging him to pay attention to it. He could only curse himself at his thoughts of you making him hard and pent up.

He tightly grabbed onto his length, sucking in a sharp breath and feeling the pleasure reverberate through him. He squeezed firmly causing a moan to leave his lips, slowly stroking down to see the tip of his cock fully exposed to him. A shaky sigh left his lips as he soon speed up hearing the echoes of skin slapping in his room.

Something has to be wrong with his Akasha terminal for him to be behaving in this manner, why else would he be fantasizing about his rival? Most people didn’t imagine a person they hated, begging and whining to take their cock in their mouth, struggling to fit it all in, looking up at him for approval. 

The throws his head back, pushing his thumb on his slit, feeling a knot in his stomach developing. His hips were meeting his pace, fucking into his jerking hand. 

He whispered your name before biting down harshly on his lip, face scrunching up as ropes of cum finally escape them staining his nude chest. He wiped the sweat on his brow, finally letting go of his softening cock before looking at the mirror next to him. 

He sneered, noting how disgusting he felt as globs of his thick cum slid on his chest and lower stomach. He looked like a man deprived, something he never thought he fall to.

Either his terminal was hacked or one of the knowledge capsules he recently used has begun rotting at his brain. 

That had to be the logical reasoning for this. The only explanation for why he craves someone he despises.

He needed to fix this quickly.

Hearing the scribes finally ending class, Alhaitham only sighed before furrowing his eyes seeing the Akasha Terminal beep. A message popped up in his visage, mouth slightly gaping in surprise seeing it was from you. 

“Meet me in the library. I’ll be in the 4th private study room. I need to talk to you. Don’t keep me waiting”.

The curves on his lips tugged up, perhaps he could get rid of his problem as quickly as he wanted. Still, he wasn’t sure what your own motivations were for reaching out to him. Could you be suffering from the same fate?

Alhaitham soon found where you were, closing the door and locking it before shutting the blinds down so no one could see. You sat in one of the chairs, arms crossed and glaring at him as he finally turned himself towards you.

“I know you must be curious about why I asked you to meet me,” you muttered before sighing. Your gaze drifted away, anger and pity swirling within your eyes.

“...Allies, just for today. Let me study with you,” you whispered. You closed your eyes clenching the tightly to not see what expression Alhaitham had on his face. You were sure he was tugging a rare smile on his face, overjoyed at the fact you had caved this far.

“...I’m sick of having my pride hurt because of you, losing time and time again. In Liyue, there’s a saying from a War General: ‘If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat.’ Studying with you will give me a chance to peer into your mind, hopefully giving me the next advantage for the upcoming test in a month.”

As you opened your eyes, you were slightly shocked to see Alhaitham had his usual stoic expression on, not one of condescension. 

“You missed the first part of that: “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.” If that is true, then what do I gain out of this as your adversary? I do not see this as a net win for me,” Alhaitham replied. You clicked your tongue, sighing for a second lifting your hand up to brush part of your hair.

“That’s why I’ve also wanted you to come here to negotiate. Now, what do you want that you see this as an equal transaction,” you grumbled. Alhaitham looked down briefly, thinking back to the period of lust that overtook him last night. This would be the best opportunity to address it.

“Look, I have suspensions that my Akasha Terminal is corrupted. I confess that I’m having lustful thoughts about you, something that doesn’t make sense as you irritate me to no end. The opposing feelings have even caused me to lose sleep, something that is even more annoying and could potentially hurt me in my studies.”

Your eyes widened, cheeks getting hot as you scowl at him.

“W-What?! I knew you were an asshole but I didn’t take you as a pervert! No one should admit to that kind of shit!” you barked. Alhaitham sighed, rubbing an impending headache threatening to form.

“I know. It’s unlike me. Based on most cultures and research I’ve done, people are supposed to admire their potential lover, not loathe them. So I just need to fuck you and get it out of my system, and I will go back to normal again,” he sighed. 

You remained quiet, the embarrassed expression still clearly written all over your face before biting your lips.

“...Fine. Whatever will get me on top of the class ranking and to see your face when I actually win.”

Alhaitham, eerily silent, walks over to you— using his foot to push the chair so you were now facing him. As you were about to open his mouth to berate him, you gasped feeling his large palms place themselves on the end of your Akademiya robes. He slowly pushed it up, revealing your underwear.

He scoffs, eyes flickering to your gaze before going back towards your underwear, noting the damp pool beginning to form on the cloth.

“You’re already this wet?” he stated before a small chuckle erupted from him. “If I didn’t know better, I think you get off, humiliating yourself by fucking the person you supposedly hate the most.” As your lips quivered, eyebrows furrowing and cheeks becoming hotter, you jabbed a finger at his forehead.

“Said the guy who ‘supposedly’ hates me, begging to fuck me. Look in the fucking mirror!” you seethed. Alhaitham simply rolled his eyes, grabbing onto the fabric of the underwear and pulling it down onto the floor. He didn’t understand why his mouth was watering, seeing your already drooling cunt squelch on just the idea of his cock inside of you.

Two long fingers dove themselves inside your cunt leaving a soft moan to escape your lips. His head rested on your plush thigh, watching your cunt completely devour his fingers as he continuously thrust them inside of you. As if hypnotized, the scribe pressed his calloused thumb onto your clit observing you jolt in pleasure. He’ll be sure to keep note of that.

“F-Fuck…just hurry up already,” you whined. Alhaitham tried to avoid rolling his eyes at your nagging, easily shutting you up as he curled his fingers inside of you, thumb pressing rough "circles on your throbbing clit. Seeing you throw your head back, it was easy to see how much you were losing yourself to pleasure, cunt tightening on his fingers massaging your insides so meticulously. 

His nails dug into the meat of your thigh that was threatening to close and squeeze his head as he lazily pressed kisses on the other thigh he was resting on. Your hands had wandered to your chest, eyes shut tight with his name on your tongue.

“F-Fuck. I’m gonna—” Feeling the pressure on your burning clit getting worse, you could feel tears develop in your eyes soon cascading down your cheeks feeling overwhelmed by the pleasure caused by his fingers.

“—H-Haitham!” you choked out, back arching as you finally reached your high. His lips tugged into a small smile, seeing your body shift and move as you rode out your climax. Slowly dipping his digits out—glistening with your arousal—he brought his thumb to wipe against a tear before opening his mouth and swirling his tongue to taste the sweetness of your slick as well as the saltiness of your tear.

“Heh. I think you look much better crying and whining and glaring and hurling insults at me,” he chuckled, causing you to narrow his eyes. Just as you were catching your breath, your eyes widened watching him tug his pants down, cock immediately popping up. He tried hiding the smirk on his face visibly watching you gulp. Your nervous hands grabbed onto your robe

He soon positioned you so your torso pressed up against the table, ass side in the air. He could see your juices drip down the sides of your thighs and onto the marble floor.

“Shit…” you whispered out. “L-Let’s just get it over with quickly. We still need to study. I only booked this room for 3 hours.” Alhaitham pressed the tip of his cock against your dripping folds, swiping it along your slit. You sucked a breath in and whined feeling him nudge it against your overstimulated and burning clit.

“That’s plenty of time. Besides, you’ll decide how long I take for this next part,” he replied. You quirked your eyebrow up, body shivering in pleasure as he continuously rubbed his tip along your folds, globs of your slick already coating the base of his length. It was hard not to cum just by the feelings of your soft folds against his cock. Still, he had to remain in control. He wanted to draw this out as long as possible.

But why? He’d try figuring that out later.

He towered over your body, leaning over to your ear. You could feel his hot breath on the shell of it.

“Beg for me,” he stated. You slammed your fists down.

“Excuse me?!” you shouted at him. You felt him blow hot air into your ear causing your body to tremble once more.

“You heard me, beg for me. Don’t act like I don’t see your hips shifting trying to encourage me to just fuck you already. I didn’t take you for a cock-thirsty slut,” he murmured. You slammed your fists down on the table again, shutting your eyes tightly and feeling your cheeks burn.

“I fucking hate you—” just as you were about to curse him out further, you felt his hips snap forward, cock burying itself inside of you causing you to gasp. You could feel him stretching you out, cock nestled in the deepest part of you.

“Fine,” he choked out, using his hand to grab onto your hand. He roughly rutted inside of you, fingers weaving with your own feeling the table shift with every thrust. His free hand grabbed onto the plush globe of your ass before smacking down on it, causing you to yelp. Feeling you squeeze and tighten against him was ecstasy, as he clenched his jaw to try to prevent himself from moaning your name repeatedly.

“I loathe you. I loathe you so much…but I loathe myself even more for wanting to be inside of you like this,” he choked out. He grunted once more ramming his cock deeper, dragging it along your gummy walls causing your back to arch.

“T-This was better than I could imagine.  Whoring yourself onto my cock for your studies. T-This was supposed to fix my contrary feelings but you made it worse,” he seethed. He grabs the globe of your ass again, watching his cock disappear inside of you repeatedly. He brings his thumb up against your other puckering hole, before pressing the tip of his thumb down inside of it causing you to moan and choke out at him.

“N-Not there! I-It’s embarrassing H-Haitham. F-Fuck!” you stammered out as your walls began to cave down onto his cock.

“Heh. My theory was right. You are into humiliation,” he mocked, causing you to whine again. His pace was brutal, the vibrations of his thrusts reverberating against the fat of your ass. You could feel his heavy balls striking themselves on your needy clit too.

“I hated the way you’d throw insults at me for just beating you at some stupid test, but archons I loved the determined look you always flash when you said you’d beat me. I loved our irritating game of cat and mouse.”

Alhaitham felt his stomach churn as it did before, cock pulsating and struggling to plunge inside of you from how much you had tightened. His pace had become much sloppier, still curved up to hit that favorable spot inside of you. With his eyes, glazed in lust, he noticed you were even meeting his pace.

“Haitham!” you cried out, as you once more reached your high. Alhaitham cursed under his breath swiftly leaving your folds. He didn’t want to cum inside of you yet. No, he wanted another opportunity for that, to witness your face so closely as he painted your insides with his cum.

He quickly guided you to his knees and rapidly jerked his cock in his hand. Your lips quivered, eyes focused on his haltering hips.

“F-Fuck (Y/N),” he choked out, cock twitching as globs of his cum spurted out and onto your face. You gasped once more feeling him press his softening cock across your cheek, smearing the cum all over as he caught his breath.

“So pretty for me…” he muttered, finally moving away. You scoffed again, wanting nothing more but to wipe your face off but yet, something about it made your cunt throb in delight. You tried fixing your hair and moving up before you felt Alhaitham wipe his cum with the fabric from his jacket.

“Now can you put up your end of the bargain? I don’t think we have much time left…” you whispered. You heard him chuckle. Something was cute about you avoiding his gaze now. Alhaitham placed a textbook on the table that the two of you just fucked before sitting down on the table. He swiftly grabbed your hips, having you hover against his half-soften cock before lining you up again and burying it inside you.

Hearing you whine, Alhaitham pressed his face to your nape feeling your body shiver against his.

“A-Again? God! You really are a pervert!” you stammered. He simply sighed, leaning up again. That irritation he had of you was creeping back up.

“Call me what you want. Reward and punishment system is said to have helped many students get the academic markings they want,” Alhaitham muttered, before leaning into your ear again. “You get it wrong, and I won’t fuck you the way you desperately want me to. Don’t act like you don’t enjoy my cock inside of you anymore.”

Your body jolted feeling him lazily thrust into you as a warning, as your hands grabbed onto the arm of the chair, closing your eyes. Your heart rapidly thumped in your chest, cheeks on fire once more.

“You are truly the worse,” you whined, shifting your hips as you felt his cock throb inside of you. He grunted.

“The feeling is mutual. Now, part one…what Fontainian author wrote this poem…”

#warm

–fluff, reverse comfort, birthday boyyy, cuddles, brief mention of how the heart pounds lmao

ALBEDO’s mornings were always cold. 

In the empty lab, or in his empty room; filled with chemicals, filled with equipment, and just… him. Just him and alchemy, just like it had always been. 

“Hm? ‘Bedo, are you awake?” 

Blood rushes through his veins and back to his heart, making it pound and pound, all at the sound of your groggy voice, still laced with sleep, and at the scent of your neck as he leans into you more behind you, tightening his grip on your waist and pulling you closer. 

Even so, it was enough for you to wiggle and turn your way to face him, your own arm circling his form and your eyes meeting his. 

“There you are.” 

His breath stills when you flash him that bright grin of yours, all with your adorable untidy appearance; eyes still droopy and as if wanting to close and return to sleep once again. Time and the world around him stop–ah, is this what they call it is? 

“Love?” his eyes catches the way you furrow in your brows and the slight curl of a frown that forms on the corners of your lips, “What’s wrong? Why are you so silent?” 

Cute. Is that a pout now? He couldn’t help but smile, slipping one of his arms and reaching for your cheek, cupping them and caressing them ever so gently with his thumb, then smoothening the pad of his finger over to whatever bag under your eye, admiring them all the same. 

Then, he leans and presses a kiss on your forehead, staying there for a good few seconds before he pulls away and meeting your eyes once again–catching them flutter open, did you close them when he kissed you? 

“Adorable.” 

You let out a breath of a laugh before heading straight to his chest, tightening your own grip on him and pressing him closer to you. 

“Stop that! I’m supposed to be the one to praise you today!” 

He chuckles and unconsciously rests and caresses one of his hands on your back, the smile on his face remains. 

“There’s no need, love,” he makes an effort to lean on your ear and smirks, “you being here with me is enough of a birthday gift for me.”

Albedo’s mornings were always cold. 

But with you, however, it feels quite warm. 

NOTES. have you guys seen his bday official art?? god his smile made me melt:((( first best boy you deserve all the best in the world happy happy birthday mwaa

Reblogs and comments are very appreciated~

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