Aromantic Writing Tips To Spice Up Your Romantic Writing

Aromantic writing tips to spice up your romantic writing

(stuff I've just made up for myself, you can borrow)

1. First and foremost, get rid of the love hierarchy.

It's not Friendship < Romance, it's not a competition. People do experience very different kinds of attraction, yet it's more if an endless color spectrum, not a pyramid to climb??? Which leads us to

2. Pick a color and play with saturation.

Don't do the "I love you more than a friend". What you actually mean is "I love you differently and I want to change terms, because I'm afraid my color of love is more saturated than I thought." Let it be painfully purple or sparkly yellow or grey, characters can experience different love towards different characters. What matters is the INTENSITY. And yes, common friendship CAN be intense as fuck.

3. Never undress your character for sex.

"The desire is stronger when it cannot be fully satisfied", so unless you're writing smut specifically, maybe try writing allegorical sex? There's a lot of things to choose from: beating the shit out of eachother, cutting hair, cooking, clinical procedures, stabbing, solving a murder, you name it! Put the accent on the characters' emotions and reactions rather than their obvious body parts.

Also bonus points if they don't realise that this intense intimate thing they just did is considered sensual.

4. Write closure that doesn't actually mean much.

I mean closure always means something. That the person likes another one. But people CAN and DO adore, lightly touch and hug eachother without it meaning that they want another person romantically or sexually. Sometimes people just see aesthetic beauty in someone. Sometimes they just want to be held. Make those guys have a hot and steamy sumo fight in the sauna that will strengthen their platonic bond!!!

5. Don't address what kind of love they're having.

For a change you may try making these characters love eachother in a way that doesn't require the "are we friends or are we lovers" discussion. Sometimes it's irrelevant. Sometimes it's just people who want to be together forever and dwelling on fitting in the box won't bring anything useful.

6. Some people don't love.

Sometimes a person can enjoy being around someone without loving them. Explore that possibility. Why? What is it that makes B important in the eyes of A who is unable to love or relate? What If both of them are unloving?

7. The absence of love is indifference.

If someone still cares about someone, it cannot the opposite of love. Try switching the love formula with hate or envy or fear or hunger. You'll see that in some way it still kind of works??? As long as they're feeling REALLY intensely about this.

8. Forget the misunderstanding/betrayal cliches!!!

There's nothing more satisfying than promising to run away together AND PROCEED. Or when someone overhears and misunderstands another but still STOPS and LISTENS. Emotional maturity is soooo sexy!!

9. Don't put romantic partners over friends.

Make them be friends and be close all together. A partner is ALSO a friend. Make them not jealous, make all 3+ of them be open and comfortable with eachother, don't be afraid of sharing the time and attention because everyone in the group love and respect each other! Even if your relationships maybe on slightly different terms! Your mutual friend can make a very big and meaningful gift for your partner and it's beautiful! That's something to cherish!

Also DON'T LIE IF SOMETHING COMES UP, just TALK it out like adults, please!!!

10. Don't be scared of het.

There's nothing wrong with a woman and a man loving each other. What you actually probably have problem with is misogyny and sticking to the same patriarchal norms over and over again. These are NOT built in het inherently!!! What you should actually focus on is their personalities and love/respect for eachother that would be in character, not in the rule book.

Also don't try to turn the tables in attempt to fix the stereotypes. By making a butch x wet cat malewife pair (when in canon neither of them are it??) (JUST because you have problem with fem women loving masculine men) you're not really fixing it, that's still a patriarchal power fantasy. Look deeper.

Yeeeaaa that's about it for now.