it is now december, and i have been feeling this way since july. that i am an impostor in my own life.
i can feel myself falling. and i have never ever been happier.
i feel new. and fresh. and pure. and god it feels fleeting.
what would’ve happend, if i didn’t walk into that bar? if i didn’t see your face? if you didn’t steal glances from across the room all night? if you didn’t walk up to me with your crooked smirk? if you didnt leave to get a rose from the convenience store 3 blocks down? if you didn’t ruin my life?
i wish this momentary calm could find the courage to last for the entirety of my life. but the war in my brain scares it away.
all that changed this year was my temper. i am now always terribly angry.
i have this terrible longing hiding inside my chest.
you’ve ruined my life. i will say i love you until i am hoarse. i will kiss you until my lips are raw. i will cry for you until i cry a river. i will hold you until my arms can no longer hold themselves up. i will miss you until the sun sinks into the sky for the final time.