Hey STEB NATION (me And 5 Other Fish Enthusiasts) How Are We Feeling

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

watched the proposal last night for ryan reynolds reasons and im mildly peeved that all these years no one told me that it was actually pretty good?? specifically how wildly psychosexually insane it is, in a deeply 2009 way. like i could write a fucking dissertation on how badly this movie wants to be a much better version of Secretary but is also deeply beholden to its cultural mandate to be Taming of the Shrew. and so it kind of just does…..both. an absolutely wild experience that i am unfortunately 100% feral for.

to my eternal sadness there is only one (1) good fic on ao3 so im just going to have to quietly imagine the very obvious scenario where she tries to make herself be a Nice Girlfriend and he has to confess that actually he really wants her to step on him (but just with slightly more concern for his feelings this time), and she makes him tell her about his fantasy where she keeps him under her desk during meetings. alas.

what in the gay sitcom nightmare

we do a little tomfoolery

inspired by @deadpanwalking from a previous columbo in space:

I love how everyone in house is constantly trying to psychoanalize eachother. They aren't even psychologists. They literally just do that shit for funsies

hate when an f/f ship does nothing for me. feels like treachery on my part

I just realised that I'm frfr am going to start new year being sick af, drinking and reading hilson fanfiction. 2025 is about to be fire

he's so normal