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My biggest regret in life was not finishing my transition. Which wasn’t my fault, but my chance was cut short. That alone is enough to make a guy vengeful, but do you know what actually reanimated me?
My family took the time and paid the money to separate out my hand bones and skull, had them cleaned and articulated. They actually cremated me, as asked, and portioned out my ashes to be used in both a pound of clay and to make two memorial diamonds. They followed my will to the letter, and I know that they read it all the way through. I know because of the one thing that they didn’t do.
As I watched my service from beyond, tears began to well up in my nonexistent eyes. My parents did not once acknowledge me as their son. My sister never once referred to me as her brother. And not a single one of my friends whom I was out to, nor my partner, were invited to the ceremony.
I had to sit there alone, and take it, even from beyond the grave… The exact same misgendering which had crushed me in life had managed to affect me here too. And that was too much for me.
I really wanted to believe It could’ve been a mistake. I had to believe that they just couldn’t find the right opportunity during the whole thing… but then they only confirmed it by finishing the aforementioned disposal of my old body.
There was a clause in my will, which would have saved them all that time and money, if they had just acknowledged me. But they chose to jump through all those other hoops instead. In picking the equivalent of “draw 25 cards”, they had inadvertently stacked the deck quite nicely for my return.
When they finally left my remains alone in one place I went to work. I tried out my hands first. Moving the bones was like slipping back on a worn out pair of work gloves. Thankfully they were just as articulate as I had specified in my will. With these disembodied hand, I set the respective memorial diamonds in the eye sockets of my skull. It was dazzling to finally see the world without the need for glasses.
Overjoyed that things were going to plan, I set my newly reanimated skull on a high out of the way shelf. From this vantage point I could survey the next step in my plan without worrying about clouding my new eyes. On the table where they stored my remains, I started to pull out and knead the porcelain ash-clay. I took my pound of once-flesh and miraculously stretched it back out into a proper body. One sculpted, not in the image of who I’d once been, but as I had always wished to become. It pained me to have to slice into the beautiful creation in order to embed my cleaver bones in the right places. I just had to remind myself that it would be worth it.
Next, I needed to let my new form dry out a bit before I could finally install myself inside. Thankfully nobody bothered to visit my old art studio once in that span of time. And It took over a week to dry out completely. During that time I couldn’t help but wonder why no one ever came to do anything with my remains…?
Eventually, as the moisture left my new form, I ceased to care about it. Instead I began to focus on a budding new sensation: I felt a sense of self return to me. One that had been absent in life. It was a wonderful experience, but it came packaged with another. As I reveled in the discovery of this feeling, I also felt the fury animating me grow stronger.
It was a necessary fire that began to stoke within my spirit, one that spread to my, as of yet, unfinished vessel. An otherworldly amount of outrage bisque fired me from the inside out as I realized I could’ve had this feeling in life too if mine hadn’t been cut short!
If I had inhabited a traditional corpse, this would have been the point at which I’d have dug myself out of my grave and made plans to pay my family a nightly visit…
Instead, I jerked into a sitting position on the craft table. Not stiffly, like someone else’s Frankenstein monster, but rather in smooth and fluid motion as my own person. Yes, finally as my own person…
It was a novel feeling, and for a moment I contemplated forgiveness. The thought was only a momentary flash against the dark, overwhelming, need to carry out my own personal vengeance.
They didn’t have to provide me with the means to do this… and yet they did it anyway out of stubbornness! Well, two can play at that game… but I don’t think I shall stoop to that level.
With a quirk of my new ceramic lips, I flashed the world with a sharp porcelain smile as a better idea came to mind. In time, I figure, they will come to regret their choices all on their own. Meanwhile, however, I will do the most vengeful thing I can do with this inadvertent gift they’ve handed me. I will go out into the world and live on without them, this time as my truest self.
And if they don’t like it… well, I could still use a glaze firing, and a fresh brilliant red coat of glaze would absolutely complete my new look.