Curate, connect, and discover
" he came in, threatening..." *long pause* " ..lives"
"salad without eggs is like communism"
"i wish my bf was a boy scout so he could tie me up like that"
"i was singing tacones rojos-" "you weren't singing it right"
"straight bi or otherwise keep your hands off other men's thighs"
"my favorite part about easter break was bullying seven year olds"
"a Tootsie roll with red flags"
"now they do buy 2 get one free vasectomy"
"I didn't know what to write so i wrote the plot to sherlock in Spanish"
"awww i can't download tin- wait sorry i was thinking about tits"
"Well you're friends with all the hOmOsExUaLs"
"what's that?" " that's called FEELINGS with a bunch of sad emojis around it"
*to her jacket* "why is the pocket stuck you WHORE?!?!"
"TAKE THAT BANANNAS!"
"do you like it? it's cottagecore" "oh yea sure" "wdym? you're a lesbian! it's like your culture!"
"I don't want transportation, I want transgender"
"I'm am entrepreneur, I steal fish"
"papa could I have some watermelon"
*loudly, to phone* "why are you asking to FaceTime me I don't even know you and I'm in school NO"
"leave room for jesus, no premarital sex"