Curate, connect, and discover
My gay wedding plan
I am into your "evil adviser" type of gal. If I marry this type of woman, I’d hold my wedding in the former abode of one of our highest-ranked enemies whom we have vanquished. There would certainly be a hunting party involving some of the guests, especially annoying co-workers, where we set the beasts on them while blasting William Tell Overture.
I don’t really want to blow out the budget, so I will be expecting gifts of high value.
Fashion-wise I have two options. I'm thinking either gothic black outfits, or highly ornamented business suits/dresses that border on dandyism.
As for the ceremonies and walking down the aisle, that will be up to my wife as I don’t give too much heed to that. I would like to bind our union with a pact of blood, but it’s not a must.
But, there must be feasting and the food must be excellent and varied. I want the bagels of New York, Pizzas delivered hot from Sicily, Borscht from Bulgaria, the best Beef Jollofs of Nigeria, the Pop Tarts of Suburbia, Georgian wine, the best Jams from France and kale and orange juice for the guests who are disfavoured.
I’d also like to have the Fuck Ceremony, which will involve my friends getting outrageously drunk, while my wife and I loudly have relations in the other room. Though like everything, this depends on what my hypothetical wife wants.
There will be no strange heterosexual anomalies, such as separate stag and hen parties.
I will not be a Bridezilla, but will instead be a cold, calculating, Bride Vetinari and I will ensure the workers are well compensated enough to not inform the public of our excesses.
I am unashamedly a little bit sinister. Think, knight lesbians who would perhaps step a little bit over the line of conventional morality for their belle. Think, sunglasses and cheap suits and dates at faded restaurants. Think, underhand glances and thinly-veiled euphemisms that you just happen to catch across the room.