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The young woman wasn't prepared for such a response on his part but she wasn't going to complain. After all the times she tries to make him understand how much he represented to her, she was finally happy to see him expressing himself so passionately. Her heart was beating hard and his touch upon her skin was setting her aflame from inside. The young woman's state didn't get better when she found herself trapped. Stuck between him and the door, she would have panicked if it had been any other than the Doctor. Instead, she brought him even closer, moaning lightly at his new fervor. She let him take the lead, her lips soft and hungry against his, even when he was stealing her breath away. Of course she was okay with him taking everything she had to give. She wanted to tell him so badly. She desired to be his and his only. But he didn't wanted to understand...Sometimes, Lysandre was feeling the urge to shout at him, to knock some sense into this thick skull of his, other times she just felt like breaking down and crying, ready to forget her pride and beg for his life to be saved. Had it been about anyone else, she would have already given up. Each time he pushed her away resulted in her feeling down for days and sometimes, the hurt she felt was consuming her entirely. Maybe was it silly to wish for a life with him. All the times she was daydreaming about contemplating the night sky in his arms could be useless wanderings about a future that wasn't hers to have. The apprentice didn't know but she wanted to believe... Her lips had nearly formed an answer when his expression cracked and she found herself witnessing a heart-wrenching scene. The moment she heard Julian cry, everything disappeared around her, letting her focus on the man hunched over her shoulder.
“Shhh... Everything will be okay Julian... You're not alone in this mess.”
Lys did her best to keep her voice calm and quiet not to upset him even more. The hand that was in the back of his neck found its new place in the man's hair, massaging his scalp in soothing motions while the other went to his back, drawing invisible lines across his shirt.
“I know you're tired of everything happening and you just want for it to end but death isn't the only solution. There's still hope for you and I refuse to let you go without a fight... It may be hard to accept to be loved since life and people has been hard with you but please, trust me when I say I 'll be here for you no matter what. “
She squeezed him slightly, continuing to caress his hair.
“I trust you. I trust you with my whole being. You're not a bad person. I don't care about the accusation weighing upon you, somewhere within me, I know you're not a murderer. Now, in order to understand you better, I need you to talk to me... Could you do that for me Dear?”
It would be difficult for him to talk but she had to try anyway. It would surely help him feel better afterwards. Not wanting to rush the Doctor, Lysandre kept her silence, continuing to cuddle him softly against her.
@lysandresamaeldhaucourt
She let herself be pushed to the door and, if the situation wasn’t so upsetting, she would have enjoyed to have him towering over her smaller frame like that. Her eyes didn ’t left his gaze, and for a moment, she drowned in it, admiring every emotion passing over. Did she hate life in itself ? No . What she dreaded was a life without him, returning to being an empty shell carrying on with her existance by automatic reflex, because Asra expected that from her. Julian had brought her back to life and she wouldn’t let him be killed by those blood-thirsty vultures. No matter the price to keep him alive and well, the apprentice would pay it. As his hand found her neck, squeezing lightly, she pushed herself against it a lot more frankly to prove the point of her next words.
« A life without you isn’t worth living. If I can’t save you from your fate then I’ll hang by your side. I love you Julian and I’m not scared of it nor am I scared to die. If this is our future then so be it ! But we’re going to face it together. »Unable to resist longer, one of her hands sneaked its way to the back of his neck, caressing his skin, and she joined their lips in a desperate kiss, attempting to pass all of her feelings through it.
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Trapped in a trance while staring at her, a shade of pink crept upon his cheeks at the feeling of her fingers on his nape and as soon as he was pulled into the kiss, he put up no resistance. Ravenous, hungry kisses had befallen her in between his soft wails of despair to rival her own misery, unable to understand her stubbornness and the feeling that was growing inside of his chest due to her words full of kindness and selflessness.
“I…why…you’re making this so much harder than it has to be, listen to me…”, he spoke clumsily, trapped inside the kiss, voice trembling from the sudden feeling of his heart dropping inside of his stomach. What he felt wasn’t something that he could put into words, instead, he decided to show her. He did want a life alongside her more than anything, but he did not want her to sacrifice herself if it turned out that he was the bad guy, no matter how much he loved her. And oh, he did love her, to the point where he would have taken her away and left this wretched place behind in memory; but he still had to do good by Portia and those who helped him escape for so long. He couldn’t run away anymore.
“Someday, I will have to face the music…one way or another.”
With the same fervor, he smacked his lips against hers as if to dissipate the thought from his mind, even if for a short, fleeting moment. The hand on her neck was only gently squeezing her from time to time while his thumb was caressing the side of her throat, feeling the pulsing life through her soft skin. Only for a moment did he break the kiss, enough to call her a downright fool for being such a martyr - he was quite familiar with the concept - and with a grunt of frustration, he pushed himself against her, trapping her form with a leg between her own, stealing all the kisses he wanted from her lips even if he was soon to run out of breath; until he did though, he took this opportunity to dig his other hand into her hair and move her head as he pleased until he took everything he could. With a heavy satisfied exhale, he parted from her lips with a thin string of saliva, panting softly as he then chose to rest his forehead against hers.
“If you keep offering yourself on a silver platter like that, I will take everything you give me and then some. Are you really okay with that? I’m not a good person, Lys. I will hurt you.”, try as he might to keep up a villainous facade, it all came crashing down when he looked into her eyes, biting down on his lip in an attempt to get himself to shut up - he would never hurt her. He would rather die, and even that wouldn’t help, it would just hurt her even more. As much as he wanted to pretend that he was capable of such a thing, the truth was he was in love with her. But those sweet words got stuck in his throat every time he tried to spell them out, afraid that he wouldn’t be able to live up to them.
His scowl twisted into a pitiful expression that was quick to tear up, much alike a beat-down puppy’s abandoned on the side of the road. His body and mind were losing their strength and in order to hide his tears, he wrapped his arms around her upper back and waist, his head now resting atop her shoulder, grieving loudly into her clothed body, burying his face into it so he would stop already. The doctor was fully aware of how pathetic he looked and sounded like.