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god there is nothing more embarrassing than feeling like you're going to self-combust with emotion over your special little rpf guy. he is LITERALLY just some dude. just a straight man walking around in the world living his life clocking in at his day job ho-hum. and yet here you are. down so bad it's frankly humiliating to witness. heart fucking racing. face flushed. ribcage about to explode with the unbearable intensity of your eeeeeeeeeeeee feelings. girl get a grip