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no matter what language i try, the words i want to tell you never seem to sound the same when i sit to write them down.
"i'm sorry for keeping you at arm's length still."
"please let me stay by your side forever."
but no matter how fancy of words i use; none of it is what i have been truly longing to say.
i have never been a religious person but i have a silly habit — ever since i was younger, i would make a wish everytime i saw angel numbers.
"god above, please cure my tummy ache!"
"god, above, please let me ace this test tomorrow! i won't ask for anything else!"
my wishes are usually just whatever i needed in the moment; no more than childish whispers that i utter to myself, even if just to feel a little bit of hope.
you know? i saw an angel number today as well, but this time, the one i called out for, was you. neither the gods nor buddha but you, instinctively.
ah, before i even knew it, you became my god and my only wish. isn't that so silly?