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Hawks: We’re having a moment, aren’t we?
Dabi: If by 'a moment' you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.
Dabi: I love you. Hawks, not paying attention: What was that? Dabi: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-
Hawks: Are you busy? Dabi: Yes. Hawks: Cool, listen to this...
Hawks, talking about Dabi: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH THEM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? THEY DID. THEY KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.
Mirko: You need a hobby. Hawks: I have a hobby! Mirko: Fawning over Dabi isn’t a hobby.
Hawks, staring upwards: So, Dabi broke up with me… haha… Mirko: Why are you looking up? Hawks: I need to cry, but my foundation was 48 dollars!
Dabi: Hawks and I are no longer dating. Hawks: Dabi, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.
Hawks, throwing his head into Dabi's lap: Tell me I'm pretty! Dabi, lovingly stroking his hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.
Hawks, at Dabi: You're my significant other. Dabi: Yeah I am! Hawks, at Tokoyami: You're my child. Tokoyami: Yes boss. Hawks, at Endeavor: You're my bitch. Endeavor: Yeah I am- wait, what? Hawks, at Mirko: My bestie. Mirko: Naturally. Hawks, at Shigaraki: HA, GAY! Shigaraki: Fuck you.
Hawks: Hey, Dabs, what do you think it would be like if we had kids? Dabi: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly. Hawks: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it? Dabi: Can't really say I have. Hawks: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes. Dabi: Sorry, birdy. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.
Dabi: Pros and cons of dating me. Dabi: Pros. You'll be the cute one. Dabi: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-
Hawks: Yeah, a partner sounds nice, but a supreme enemy you can make out with in secret sometimes sounds a lot more hardcore.
Dabi: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake. Toga: You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for Hawks. Dabi, pointing his hot glue gun towards Toga: You’re on thin fucking ice.
Dabi: Fight me! Hawks: gets on one knee and pulls out a ring Hawks: Fight me for the rest of our lives.
Hawks: That was so hot, Dabi. Dabi: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenerate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets. Hawks: I'm so in love with you.
at 3am Twice: runs into Dabi’s room and turns on the light Wake up sleepyhead! Dabi: wakes up Dude! Twice: cackles Hawks: sits up from where he was sleeping behind Dabi What the fuck, Twice? Twice: jaw drops Wait WHAT-
Kurogiri: Just be yourself. Dabi: Really? Kurogiri, I have one day to win over Hawks’s parents. Dabi: How long did it take for you guys to like me? Mr. Compress: Couple of weeks. Spinner: Six months. Shigaraki: Jury’s still out. Dabi: See Kurogiri? ‘Just be yourself,’ what kind of garbage advice is that?! (joke's on him, if Hawks's parents actually like him that's probably a red flag)
Hawks: How much did you spend on this date? Dabi: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.
Toga, walking into Hawks and Dabi’s bedroom in the middle of the night: I had a bad dream. Hawks: What was it about? Dabi: No, don’t ask her that! Hawks: Why not? Dabi: Cause she’ll answer!
okay I'm feeling much better now that's all thank you goodbye