Fandom Etiquette - Blog Posts

i'm aware fandom has always been filled with intense arguments and was never a happy fluffy paradise, but there was etiquette that just feels like it has disappeared. people have really abandoned those unspoken rules of fandom in favour of petty drama and it's extremely frustrating.

if you want some silly drama read a ku erotica book or watch a soap opera. why would you actively engage in fandom content just to make people angry? the worst part is they tag wrong on purpose because it's not about loving x inflammatory ship or x inflammatory character, it's just about pissing people off.

and it's deeply obvious who does this because they may think they're being subtle but there is a frankly embarrassing amount of "oh i don't care about your opinion! look how much i don't care! (but i'm gonna refresh my blog every ten seconds until i see an angry comment or reblog)" energy coming from these posts.

not to sound like an old fart, but i miss the old days where the biggest drama in fandoms were ship wars that were frankly easy to avoid by blocking tags and wether or not pidge from voltron was trans.

I'm gonna be taking a break from tiktok, the toxic hazbin fans on that site are running rampant lately. Thankfully, tumblr still has fandom etiquette and my moots are the best but the degeneration of fandom culture is so disheartening to see, people can't accept other headcanons or ships, they feel entitled to fanfiction and fanart, the widespread use of AI to replace artists and writers, the way everyone is so oversensitive about every little thing, the DLDI rule is forgotten at this point, people are being rude for NO REASON, the lack of critical thinking skills and media comprehension, the MISOGYNY my god, antis overtaking comment sections and being more obsessed with the show than the actual fans, purity culture proliferating like a disease, fans' expectation for every single character to cater to their experiences and if they don't then they're bad rep or poorly written or viv is glorifying abuse, god forbid someone tries to ship a rarepair or crackship which is one of the pillars fandoms are built on, people spreading leaks and spoilers with zero consideration for others or respect for the creators, THE INSISTANCE TO CENSOR AO3 LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK as if it isn't THE online space created BECAUSE every other site was rigid and uncompromising. Ao3 has the best tagging system of any app and people still feel entitled to control what other people get to read or write instead of bothering to curate their own spaces the tags are there the warnings are there the description is there AND STILL people feel entitled to mold it so that it suits ONLY their tastes, normies bullied fans off of every single online space hence the creation of ao3 and now they worm their way there to try and bully everyone out again, get LOST

(Sorry for the vent, just needed to get it off my chest)

can i talk about something as a kiribaku shipper without bkdk shippers saying unhinged shit ab it bc like

im not hating on any bkdk shippers that aren't delusional acting like its canon when its not, and im not saying every bkdk supporter is like this BUT

u gotta understand first i dont even watch anime like that. im brazilian-rromani and japanese, it was a cultural thing for me not in the way you think tho. early 2000s was the time people were still throwing out the "beautiful, exotic, Oriental" 'compliments' while kind of transitioning into confused acceptance of the concept of minorities in general, so hearing that shit starting at five plus seeing how women and girls were portrayed in anime a majority of the time was too much for me, it felt disrespectful to the women in my family who didnt need unproportionately sized body parts that were unnerving almost in an Uncanny Valley manner to achieve incredible things, i didn't want anyone associating ME with that image. it felt like being reduced to this one little box and i didnt want anything to do with it

now im older, im dipping my toesies into this side of the internet, i finally find ONE anime i genuinely like, with a WHOLE cast of characters that have real plotpoints and character arcs and AMAZING fan media, all the good shit-

and listen ive been in a lot of fandoms and yea some are toxic some arent but i don't know that i've ever seen the same competition between ships that i do in mha/bnha. i cant go one krbk media without there being ONE comment talm ab "gross i dont like krbk" "this wouldve been better if it were bkdk sorry :/" "bakugou would never do that he only cares ab izuku >:(" LIKE

PLEASE let me enjoy this. its hard enough to find krbk art and media as it is, seeing that bkdk is the predominant ship. u already have soooooooo much shit to comment on, you dont NEED to leave comments on krbk or wtvr other ships deku is involved in that arent with bakugou. we fucking GET IT already.

and just as someone who goes to school to manically psychoanalyze people characters & plots and write way too much about them, i dont fucking like bkdk. THERE I SAID IT FLAY ME ALIVE YOU VULTURES.

deku's morals, values, beliefs? yes spectacular ur doing amazing sweetie

the love for his friends and family and for the whole goddamned world that ends up being the driving force to save said goddamned world? WONDERFUL FABULOUS GIVE ME MORE

his inherent codependency and survival skills centered around that one kid from his childhood who had a really cool quirk who subsequently told him to kill himself?

i get it, they were kids, they moved past it, he apologized, there was character development for both of them, it was a beautiful moment. to me, no matter what it screams stockholm syndrome for both of them bc realistically and psychologically speaking, trauma bonds are never how you want to start a relationship bc its almost never going to end well.

there are exceptions sure. is there chemistry between them? absolutely u'd have to be blind not to see how well they work together when they pull their heads out of their asses. IS THE SHIP VALID? YES. but people saw "childhood connection", took it for "soulmate pipeline" and said it was law as if there's absolutely no possibility of another kind of relationship between them. they fight like brothers, they compete like best friends, they find each other like soulmates - love comes in SO many different forms and you all have the most media showing the romantic type so can you PLEASE leave me and my ethereal stupid little krbk art alone thank you and goodbye

Fandom is so different now and it’s becoming un-fun with how quickly shit moves.

I just want to enjoy things. I don’t want to have to play a game of Artist-Race that seems to be afoot lately.

Ya’ll eat up fandoms, leave artists and writers bone dry and then move on so fucking quickly then fucking wonder where all the Good Fandom Stuff is.

Idk Maybe cherish some things for longer. Reblog stuff. Interact with people. Comment and share.

Fandom is Capitalism now and I’m not being nuanced.

Ao3 does not need an algorithm, you're just lazy

Ao3 does not need a 1-5 star rating system, you just want to bring down authors writing for FREE

Ao3 does not need automatic censorship, it is an archive, therefore anything can be posted

Writing or reading about something illegal does not mean the author nor the reader condones it, if that were true, you could never read a story involving anything negative

Purity culture is ruining fan culture and you all are fucking annoying

Transformer x human isn’t that bad , aslong the human is a consenting adult it’s literally fine. Y’all just wanna complain about this topic till it’s ash (transformer forum users and old members try to let the topic go challenge impossible, I’m so happy the newer fans are chill) because do I have to bring up to fact some of the characters ages vary because it’s different from ours. Like earthspark bumblebee would be technically in his 20s or early 30s for a cybertronian.

Don’t get me wrong I love cybertronian x cbertronain , I get it if the human stuff is boring and isn’t your cup a tea. I can get it but bashing people about it isn’t cool man. This fandom was literally made by robo-lovers. Which has been acknowledged by the creators as we’ve seen in from g1 to the comics!! Platonically and romantic.

Kindly block me if you act like your opinion needs to be shoved down people’s throats, I don’t want you near me. Like I will understand you and your opinion fully but I hate people complaining and throwing tantrums to try to convince others.

And ofc it was a Reddit GOONER !!

PSA: Fandom etiquette

Please read this/share!!

Hello, my names dejon or whatever else. Today I’m here to once again go through an important reminder to all fandoms.

✨Etiquette✨

For some of the younger ones here or smooth brains, here’s the definition..,

(You understand now? Good!)

To be apart of a fandom doesn’t just mean for you to run around and do whatever. That is not what we do here!

•Artist

Be polite , comment something encouraging or positive about their art. EXP: “I really love the color scheme” or “your Oc’s are so cool!”. (Some may allow for more ‘colorful’ remarks but not everyone )

DO NOT!! Harass artists to draw you or your OC for free, even if you’ve known that person for a long time. They are not obligated to do anything!

It’s okay to talk about an artist’s character but if it’s only ever lustful thoughts, keep it to yourself bud. Promise you that even some nsfw artists don’t wanna hear it.

Tracing is a bit iffy. If you’re trying to improve or find an art style then it’s okay, just don’t post it or claim it’s yours. (I know everyone has their views on this but ya know we’ve all did it at one point) 

[ Racism/homophobia/transphobia aren’t welcomed at all! Common sense would tell ya otherwise to not make anyone feel less or uncomfortable! ]

Some artists like to be anonymous, the amount of times I’ve seen family/friends/long time followers find their art page and comment their name is alarming. EXP: “Omg ____ I didn’t know you were so talented!” , if you value privacy don’t do this.

Remember to idk block or scroll if you don’t like (legal) shipping/self-shipping/ OC x canon. It’s been around for decades people! It’s not going anywhere.

Theres a bunch more but I’ll just make a part two later or tomorrow. Remember , don’t be a d1ckhead

fanfiction and shipping should be fun, it shouldn't make people uncomfortable or creeped out

Ok. A little something I want to put out there.

Lestappen has been blowing up for a good while now and I for one am thoroughly enjoying it BUT. But. Let's please keep it and other rpf ships confined to tumblr, ao3 and the like.

They do have wags, almost all drivers do. The ship related content on insta and tiktok are very easy for them to come across, and for someone who is as chronically online as charles (as seen in the insta pfp fiasco) there's no way he's not seeing this stuff.

The thing with tumblr and ao3 is that they have a proper tagging system. Tiktok does not have that (I'm not just talking about TikTok btw), we don't know how these types of shippy content will make them and their wags feel. They are not characters they are real people.

Also, please stop making weird AI videos of drivers kissing. I got jump scared by a Simi one yesterday.

Tldr: Please practice proper fandom etiquette. Especially when it comes to RPF's. And stop using AI for creepy shit.

I wanna know where people have lately gotten the audacity to leave comments on fanfics talking about how much the fanfic sucked and negatively critiquing an author's fic like it's a published book review.

It pisses me off cause I've seen authors abandoned or delete their fics because of this.

You're getting fanfics for FREE! No one asked for your opinion.

I hope y'all know as authors we get email notifications when you comment so we see EVERY comment that's been left.

We also can see the negative reviews you leave when you bookmark our fics

I’m only speaking for myself but it’d be nice if people could say please or thank you while requesting prompts, asking for advice or anything from gimmick blogs, because I think we as a society has grown so accustomed to google and chatGPT that we sometimes forget people who run gimmick accounts on social media are real people, not robots.

you’re asking for help / advice from real people with lives outside of the internet, real people who will sacrifice their free time researching and making a post that could help you. and this isn’t meant to be guilt tripping at all. this is just me asking people to please say please or thank you while asking for advice / help or requesting something from someone.

I’m always happy to help, it’s just that it would be nice if people treated me like a person and not a robot where they could just order what they wanted without, ya know, a simple please or thank you.

Definitely not targeted towards a certain fandom... deeeefinitely not.... I could never target a comic like that....

One thing no one ever talks about in fandom is the pain of finding out one of your favorite ao3 authors is a total jerk. Writing a fic inspired by theirs while linking and giving credit, only for them to leave a comment insulting you and calling you weird for making a fic of their fic. Using the names they gave to unnamed canon characters (a common practice called fandom name sharing) and linking and giving credit, only for them to leave a comment calling you a plagiarist for stealing the names and threatening to send their fans after you. Finding out they have a history of doing stuff like this, and finding it practically impossible to separate your enjoyment of their work from your incredibly negative experiences with the author. Trying your best to avoid their fics as a result even though they wrote at least half of the fics of your favorite ship. True pain. Never meet your heroes kids.

I don’t have issues for the other main MXTX ships, because the romance in TGCF and MDZS does not suffer from a lot of those issues. Hualian is a VERY healthy relationship/romance, with a lot of the issues that COULD be brought up being dealt with or explained later. Wangxian starts out with some questionable things (for example: teen lwj wanting to SA wwx), but they’re resolved BEFORE the couple begins to view each other in a genuine romantic light, and when they’re brought up again, LWJ doesn’t gaslight WWX about it, and is apologetic. He doesn’t make excuses or manipulate him, and they have enough trust built up at that point and open communication that WWX is able to understand it.

That said, I still am open about these issues with people I recommend the series to. That’s because even if contextually, certain aspects that would be toxic in other pairings might work in this one, it doesn’t CHANGE the actions of the characters. As fans, it’s part of our responsibility to make sure newer fans have a good experience in fandom. This doesn’t mean you have to change what you do - but simply be open about your content and fandom (thoroughly tagging, acknowledging problematic aspects, and being kind towards differing opinions), and allowing people to make informed choices to choose to interact or not interact with content.

Both Bingqiu and Moshang undoubtedly have toxic/questionable aspects to their relationship, but when looking at why I think Moshang works, and Bingqiu just doesn’t, I mainly point to how the “abuse” of their partners is handled.

When SQQ is abused by Binghe, Binghe plays the victim. Instead of being straightforward and serious, he cries and pleads, making HIMSELF the one in need of comfort, and causing SQQ to feel bad for being the ACTUAL victim. Moreover, Binghe is FULLY AWARE what he’s doing when he hurts or manipulates Qingqiu. There isn’t an excuse there.

Meanwhile, with MBJ and SQH, there’s a clear reason for their miscommunication: an issue of culture. While Binghe was raised in human society, Mobei-jun is very much attuned to demon culture - and has blind spots. But unlike Binghe, when he becomes aware of the harm he’s doing, and how it’s being perceived, he doesn’t play the victim:

He sincerely apologizes to Shang Qinghua

He offers a way of “correcting” it

He then tries to do what Shang Qinghua had told him would be better understood, showing that he cares more about Qinghua’s feelings than tradition.

Mobei-Jun isn’t mean, like I see a lot of fanworks imply. Mobei-Jun sincerely does NOT WANT to hurt Shang Qinghua, and when he realizes he is, he stops. Binghe hurts Shen Qingqiu knowingly, and when he does, he plays the victim or guilts Shen Qingqiu. This is why Moshang, in my eyes, just works.

Fandom PSAs

Dont’ Like, Don’t Read

or DL; DR

You are responsible for curating your own online experience.

If something upsets you, makes you angry or queasy or triggers you, stop reading/looking at it. Avoid things that might make you feel that way.

Learn to use the Sort and Filter function on AO3, especially the Exclude tools.

On social media, block and mute accounts / tags / words when necessary.

If you hated something, you don’t need to tell that to the creator or start pointing fingers at them publicly.

The Back button is free. Use it.

Addendum:

Yes, for this to work, creators need to tag their works accordingly, so that people know what sort of content they are about to engage with and can nope out if necessary.

I will probably make another PSA about the importance of proper tagging later.

Ship And Let Ship

or SALS

You are allowed to ship whatever you want.

Everyone else is also allowed to ship whatever they want.

You are entitled to dislike or even hate a ship. If you want to do this online, in public, don’t use the ship tags for hate posts.

If you see someone posting about a ship they like and you don’t, there is no need for you to start arguing with them in their replies / comments / QRTs / reblogs. Don’t throw your hate in their face.

Do not harass fan creators or fans for shipping something you disapprove.

All of this also applies to liking / disliking an individual character.

Addendum:

”I agree with this, except when…”

No, then you are NOT agreeing with this.

Let me make this VERY clear. There are NO exceptions. None.

You don’t EVER harass real people over pixels.

If you disagree with this, kindly block and move on.

Your Kink Is Not My Kink

or YKINMK / YKINMKATO

The longer version is ”Your Kink Is Not My Kink And That’s Okay”.

People have different tastes. Not everything is for everybody.

Even if you don’t like a specific kink, other people are still allowed to use it in their creations.

You are entitled to dislike kinky content and think that it’s ”weird”.

Don’t kink shame or judge people based on their kinks.

This goes both ways: your kink is not someone else’s kink, so don’t push it onto those who are not into it.

Be Kind

or Don’t Be An Asshole

Focus on the things you like instead of the things you hate.

Create and unite instead of destroying and dividing.

Don’t harass real people over fictional things.

Stop stirring up petty drama just to get some attention on social media.

Stop trying to ”win”. Fandom is not a competition.

Remember that your own experiences aren’t universally shared. Your perception of things can differ from someone else’s, but that doesn’t mean either of you is necessarily wrong.

HELP

Ok anybody and everybody is welcome to answer this, in fact is highly encouraged, but I need y’alls help and feedback!

I was talking to my counselor about stuff I’ve read/ seen on Tumblr and ended up explaining a lot about what it is as a website. In doing so, I had to explain a lot of tumblr/ fandom slang enable to paint an adequate picture.

Long story short, she’s interested and asked me to write down all the terms and define them so she can use them later on.

And I want to know if y’all have an ideas or recommendations of terms that you would like defined from tumblr? Please please let me know in whatever you feel comfortable! Thank you so much! 🙏🏼🧡🫡

"He would not say that" but it's the canonical content :]