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Dark Elves - Blog Posts
He’s a boy with taste.
i personally love how fucking Weird elder scrolls elves have the potential to be. i love how they aren’t conveniently “beautiful” and when people exaggerate specific features that emphasize the Weird (pointy ass ears + super angular features) it makes my heart happy. might as well add tails to them too and make them super lanky and just awful little beings. i love them
Off to kill the emperor. Heres my Dark Elven Assassin in…familiar… color schemes. Happy Ides of March everyone! 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🏛️🏺
A long time ago I kitbashed dark elf Pegasus knights for no other reason than I love Fire Emblem (the GBA trilogy especially) and I also painted them with cutey marks and the color schemes from My Little Pony, a show I was not watching, because it made cool people laugh, it made MLP fans feel included, and it made wrong’uns upset. It took nothing out of my enjoyment to do this, and it made others happy.
If this upsets you, fix your hearts or die.
elf types. I will do a full spreadsheet for each, but for now here are side by side comparisons.
If you’re wondering why the High Elf is grey here, instead of ginger like my last post, it’s because more High Elves are grey, I just chose orange for the other one
Elves (Speculative Biology)
If elves were real, what do you think they’d descend from? Personally I find them being a subspecies to be a little bit boring. Please lmk!! I’m considering for my fantasy world
Local Druid healer found the sickest of men.
Why are the fictional cultists always the pretty ones HELP-- FIRST RIKA FROM MYSTIC MESSENGER, AND NOW MY OWN OC, MISS IMPROVEMENT. SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM THIS HECK why is this my taste in women
if those japanese cartoons are right, getting taken prisoner by elves is one of gods greatest gifts
WLC 2.9: Call 'Em Vrow
L: As we traveled onward, we almost ran into a pair of Vrow huntresses. D: What's a Vrow? L: Cute elves from the Underdank. They're not as bad nowadays, but they were real bu- nasty back then.
A pair of violet-skinned elves sit in a high alcove, both young, barely out of school. One is dressed in traditional Vrow huntress attire: a black, leather leotard, thigh high boots, shoulder-length gloves, and a quiver of arrows strapped to her back. Dark grey belts hold the outfit up. Her velvet hair is in short ponytail.
L: Not that a Vrow would know what a pony is. D: I don't know what a pony is. J: It's a small horse. I could get you one. D: HHHHHUUUUU? OOOOOO?
The second (a sorceress, clearly) is adorned with what can be very generously described as dark grey armor. The chestplate is more comparable to a metal brassiere and it's matching bottom is a glorified, oversized belt. She's also wearing raised heel pumps. Under her armor, she wears an extremely thin tight dark silk garment with a spider web motif over most of her body, from finger and toe to neck. Thin metal rings on both ring fingers and around her neck hold it in place. Her long braided hair loops around her headpiece, which is akin to a circlet which matches her elaborate staff (also spider-themed).
J: We get it, they love spiders; it's their thing.
"Shooty and spelly in a ridge," says Ling, pointing up.
The adventuring trio hide behind a corner, they've spotted the Vrow first. How fortunate for them that the Vrow are distracted.
J: How did they not hear watergirl's clanking armor? L: Well, ya said to skip to the important bits. Sorry, that included us casting don't-get-caught spells, like Quiet March, and don't-fall-in-holes spells, like Darksight.
"How do we want to handle this?" asks Maraja, "Sneak up and attack? My range options aren't great."
"Hold on," says Ling, "We don't know if they're hostile."
"Thhey're Vrow, dear," says Kalyani, "Thhey will mosst ccertainly attack uss on ssight."
"No, they won-" Ling looks at the religious iconography of her party. "Well, yous, maybe. But look at them; those ladies aren't set to ambush anyone. F'ell, that spelly isn't even dressed for the cave; she's bound to twist an ankle." Ling motions for her companions to stay quiet as she casts a spell upon her bones.
The elves in the alcove sit oblivious to their observers. There's an awkward tension between them; Ling can taste it.
"Are you ready to talk about it?" asks the sorceress, rubbing the walking end of her staff along the drop from the alcove, "I don't know what else I can do."
"It's fine," says the huntress, refusing to make eye contact, "It's my fault, you didn't have to stay with me."
"I'm the one who twisted my ankle," says the sorceress, "So you missed a few shots; everyone has a bad day once in a while, Seònaid."
Seònaid rubs her head. "I'm going to get in so much trouble if I don't kill something." She shuts her eyes. "You know they've doubled the quotas, right? We might have to sell my father."
"Let me help," says the sorceress, "My family's well-off en-"
"I don't want your money, Oighrig," says Seònaid dejectedly, "I have to do this myself. I have to- I have to do something."
D: Couldn't you give her the giant worm you cooked. L: No, we had traveled several hours since then. If another critter hadn't eaten it then, another would've before the Vrow found it. J: The worms are also poisonous.
Oighrig struggles to speak. Ling can sense a desperate desire refusing to come out and casts another spell. Unseen to the elves, a magical bubble overtakes them.
"I love you." Oighrig clamps her hand over her mouth.
"I love you too," Seònaid chuckles and turns toward her, "Thank you. You're my best friend." She calmly loops her arms around and hugs Oighrig. "You al- We've always have each others back," she smiles, "And we always will."
Oighrig hesitantly puts her arms around Seònaid. "Y-y-yeah," she strains against an unseen force, "B-best friends."
Around the bend, Ling whispers to Kalyani, "Ya have anything to push these two? Hormones, music, shove her face in her boobs, something."
"Why- What?"
"I don't know," says Ling, "The mammals love boobs for some reason."
Oighrig suddenly kisses Seònaid, then stares into her eyes in shock.
"Wow," says Seònaid, "I was really down, but I'm so glad you're such a friend." She smiles widely.
"I. Want. You." Oighrig's eye twitches.
Seònaid nods. "To?"
J: How? L: I know. J: Vrow!? L: I know!
"Crikey," almost shouts Ling, "She's denser than b****y osmium. It'd be a piece of p**s for me to root a vejjo bunyip before this dropkick's jocks are off."
"Was that even elven?" asks Maraja.
Kalyani shrugs in equal bafflement. "While thhey're disstracted, we shhould leave."
"Right," says Ling, "I'm 'bout to snap."
I know that nobody asked, but here's some Telvanni lore for all the foodies.
Before you begin this culinary journey, check out this post about ash yams it's essential.
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Telvanni Cuisine
It’s obvious that Telvanni have an extensive knowledge of fungi. After all, they live in huge mushrooms and collect and plant numerous species from all across the Tamriel to use them in their potions. It goes without saying that their cuisine is also quite fungal. The commonfolk at Telvanni settlements as most of the Dunmer source their protein both from fungi* and insect meat. But Telvanni nobles love nurturing peculiar worldviews and traditions that differentiate them from other races - or even other Dunmer. One of them is their distaste for anything that doesn’t grow in soil. They frown upon hunter traditions of Ashlanders and stock-raising of house Redoran and regard them as “primitive” in contrast to the delicate art of growing fungi. The alchemy ingredients are an obvious exception from this rule, but in general as their occupations don’t usually include menial work, their light and low-calorie cuisine perfectly matches their lifestyle. This resulted in traditional cuisine of the nobility being solely plant-, or more specifically, mushroom-based**, that contrasts sharply with the cuisine of Skyrim that is rich in venison and other animal-based foods***. Noble Telvanni shun debilitating ingredients such as alcohol and moon sugar in their everyday cuisine, as keeping their minds sharp is their main priority. In order to get an indulgent sweet taste marshmerrow is used instead. Telvanni rarely import vast quantities of vegetables from other provinces as house Hlaalu does. They use commonly grown foods like saltrice, ash yams or mushrooms as the base ingredients of the dishes. In some aspects they prefer to stick to the Dunmer traditions. The nobles, though, indulge themselves in expensive imported berries - not only because of their magic-enhancing abilities but also because of their extravagant taste. As the Telvanni ranks feature numerous alchemists the import of alchemical ingredients is obviously very common. Telvanni chefs gradually incorporated some of the exotic spices into traditional cuisine. Especially valued are the most characterful of them that fancy up the bland taste of mushrooms, such as juniper, ginseng or garlic****. * In real life mushrooms are a rather poor source of protein compared to legumes like beans and lentil. But since there are no legumes in TES universe (at least as far as I know) let's suppose there are some protein-rich mushrooms Telvanni can plant. ** It’s also worth mentioning that I’m a Telvanni-fixated vegan ass myself so that’s a more probable reason why I made my beloved house also vegan xD *** A lovely example of that contrast you can encounter in @thana-topsy ‘s fanfic “Breathing Water”. This would nicely explain Neloth’s preference for apple cabbage stew. **** This recipe for example resembles Telvanni cuisine, it was one of the inspirations from my imaginary dishes above.
Above I’ve come up with some examples of what noble Telvanni would eat on a daily basis.
Thanks for reading that and take care :3