Bro I Do Not Know These Fucking Ship Names Off The Top Of My Head - Blog Posts

ar3um

5 months ago

context (from here):

apparently, recently(?) on douyin, a housewife posted about her husband's unhinged reaction after she ate the last 2 swiss rolls out of a box of 8 when her husband and 2 kids had already eaten all the other swiss rolls. the husband's unreasonable response naturally outraged cnetizens. thus, one recent(?) douyin trend has been for women to ask their boyfriends/husbands the following, and then to record the answer: suppose that we get married and have two kids, and then obtain a box of swiss rolls, how should we split them?

anyways here are some of the provided responses from OP's post, put through the SVSSS filter (sorry OP):

screenshot a text conversation in chinese with added english translations, edited to have pictures of luo binghe and shen qingqiu to the left and right respectively.
SQQ: one box of swiss rolls, eight rolls, two kids, you and me. how do we split it?
LBH: six for you, one for each of the two kids
LBH: i'll eat what comes out of you

screenshot a text conversation in chinese with added english translations, edited to have pictures of su xiyan and tianlang-jun to the left and right respectively.
TLJ: there's eight swiss rolls. how many can i eat?
SXY: what's up baby, want to go to switzerland? can we go after i finish my work this month?
TLJ: ah

screenshot a text conversation in chinese with added english translations, edited to have pictures of yue qingyuan and shen jiu to the left and right respectively.
SJ: [image of swiss rolls]
SJ: they say this kinda roll cakes are delicious
SJ: eight in a box. me, you, two kids. how do we split it?
YQY: buy two boxes
SJ: isn't that a waste of money?
YQY: it's all in your mouth
YQY: i'll lick the box with the kids

screenshot a text conversation in chinese with added english translations, edited to have pictures of liu qingge and shen qingqiu to the left and right respectively.
SQQ: bought a box of swiss rolls total eight kids ate two how many can i eat
LQG: you can eat the rest of the six kids
SQQ: what the fuck an i gonna eat kids for?
SQQ: i'm gonna eat swiss rolls
LQG: you said yourself there were eight kids in a box of swiss rolls
LQG: you already ate two

screenshot a text conversation in chinese with added english translations, edited to have pictures of shang qinghua and mobei-jun to the left and right respectively.
MBJ: if there's eight cake rolls, two kids, and you and me, how do we split the rolls?
MBJ: how many can i eat
SQH: you eat eight
SQH: i'm begging you
SQH: not the two kids
MBJ: what?

screenshot a text conversation in chinese with added english translations, edited to have pictures of shen qingqiu and shang qinghua to the left and right respectively.
SQH: one box of swiss rolls, eight rolls, two kids, you and me. how do we split it?
SQQ: eight swiss rolls for me, two kids for you
SQH: [judgmental-looking reaction image]