Books And Coffee - Blog Posts

“You are worthy of concern, of happiness, of love.”

~ from one bored but stressed student to another

- lockscreen 🍂📜

🌬️

Just love this kind of aesthetic✨️🤍

I swear I don't lack skills to communicate, I'm simply too tired to engage..

—Donna Tartt, The Secret History

Sometimes I wonder if people even realize how cruel they can be without saying a word. The way they look at me—cold, dismissive, like I’m something to laugh at or pity. It’s not always about what they say; sometimes it’s just the way they carry themselves around me, like I’m less. I feel overlooked all the time, like I’m just floating in the background, waiting for someone to actually see me. And I hate how much I want to be seen, especially by him. I hate how I catch myself hoping for even a glance from him. It makes me feel pathetic, like I’m betraying myself just to feel worthy for a moment. These past few days, I’ve been so angry. Just simmering beneath the surface. I keep snapping in my head, getting irritated at everything. I’m starting to feel like the angry little girl I worked so hard to bury, the one who, for years, carried the weight of her father’s rage. I hate how deeply I feel things, how sensitive I am. Lately, I’ve been drowning. Not in a river, but under the weight of never feeling satisfied with life.

—A lady and Her Quill, Letters to Dead Children: Ophelia's Journal Entries

"People. People. Endless noise. And I am so tired. And I would like to sleep under trees; red ones, blue ones, swirling passionate ones"

― Alfred Stieglitz, My Faraway One: Selected Letters of Georgia O'Keeffe and Alfred Stieglitz

He's been here forever, your son

Words by me // inspired by the advertisement on the left.

Catholic Doilys

Left: Thea Porter reflected in her dining table. Ph. Jim Lee for the Sunday Times, 1971. Right: scan from Pinterest.

The Three Graces, 2019 by Valeria Duca (b. 1995, Moldova) 

Reading & Journalling

{çınar}

Caffeine helps going through everyday shits Indonesian government throws at its people.

maybe later isn't better than never

Moody lighting for a moody reader.

6.28.22

for some reason i felt really bummed out today idk why cuz i went to the library and got flowers and got a new notebook but i just felt very blah. i got a lot done though so tomorrow will be a better day

6.22.22-6.23.22

wooo these were my summer classes crunch days but now i’m ahead in my hw!! also i graduated speech therapy so my mom and i went out for lunch and starbies yesterday. today i went out to coffee with my dad all morning and now i’m at work. i did so much hw at my job i feel so productive. also i finished dracula today and i feel so adrift now. what is next for me???