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I have been horrifically inspired; I take full credit and no responsibility for what I say next.
You know how people purposefully mispronounce Bon apatite as bone apple tea? Here me out.
If you were to actually make it, how would you? How do you think it would taste? I have just spent the past half hour thinking about this, and now you will too.
I think I've thought up two generic ways to make it.
Number one. Boil apple peels, and bones in water. I'd do peels because it's the easiest part to boil, and this is tea, not apple juice, so the flesh isn't an option. Also, we're staying away from the core because I'd rather not poison anyone. As for the bones, I'd just buy fried chicken or turkey and take the bones out and use those. Not only because it's precooked, and again, we're avoiding making people sick, but also because the fat, thus the flavor has been cooked into the bones.
Number two. The Poorman's version. Boil equal parts broth, apple juice, and water. Fun fact! People often times boil bones to make broth, so I think this is a proper substitute. I'd again use either chicken or turkey broth for this, not only are these probably cheaper, but I think the flavors would mesh well, or as well as they can. I think the apple juice is self-explanatory, and although I'd aim for 100%, if watered down is cheaper, then by all means use it. I'd just be impressed someone would try this.
I honestly think I wouldn't be able to sleep if I didn't get this down. If any of you masochists are brave enough to try this, let me know how it turns out! Bon apatite!