Xxsadist0nexx - Not Bad, Just The Worst ;)

Hit a little too close to home

They don't think I need help, but I'm scaring myself.

Haven’t been here for a long time, changed phones and App Store didn’t have tumblr for the Middle East store, I recently pulled some strings and got the app. No I don’t actively self harm anymore. Things aren’t the best but I’m trying xoxo

I love my scars, they are part of me and my story, they are proof that I survived although it was not easy. I still have demons within me, but I hope there will come a time when I will be happy and free from it all. I'm not ashamed of my scars, I don't hide them, neither should you all either because everyone has a story they've struggled with, but it's proof that we're still here after that all. It is not others business and fuck their looks or comments.

My body

This is my body.

All mine.

From the soles of my feet to the crown of my head

I own this.

And I can do, whatever I want with it

I can feed it, or starve it

I can nurture it, or let it waste away

I can hurt it, or protect it.

I struggle with that, I know which is the right choice, but sometimes I fail to make it. That is my burden to carry.

My choices will have consequences,

the scars may fade, but they will always be there,

on my body.

In the past, people have tried to take it from me,

claim it for their own.

grab it

use it

control it

But I will not allow that again.

No one will take my body from me.

Not again.

And if they try,

I’ll cut off their fingers, so they cannot grab me

their arms, so they cannot hold me

their legs, so they cannot chase after me

and their tongue, so that not even their words can touch me.

My body.

In the future, I may choose to offer my body to others

but I will do so with the knowledge that it is mine to give and refuse

that while I may let them touch it, it will always be mine.

This is my body.

I can do, whatever I want with it.

this post hasn't left my mind since i've first saw it

Yeah bro, I'm totally good! My heart just hurts, like all the time, ya know?

I myself am an ashtray. I keep lighting up and

stubbing myself out.

I take a breath and consume my own smoke.

Poison after poison,

my knack for self-preservation outweighs

my self-destruction by a single ash.

Where do I keep these butts of hope?

Half charred reminders that I almost

burnt out completely, twenty times over.

I paint it from every angle, but the truth remains:

Self-inflicted damage won’t disguise the

marks someone else left.